bought a cowboy hat

why? Because I think it'll make me look more dashing I suppose.

I am part white. Which means that I look like there's a white guy trapped inside of me.

I look very much like that James Garner actor. We're brothers from another mother I suppose. He's a legend. I like watching his movies nowadays as I become an old man. He's like a REAL MAN. And if I gotta get old, I'd like to be like him.

You might think that's no good. A black person looking up to and wanting to be like a white person. But I feel like it's right. I've always felt comfortable around white people and white culture and watching white people on tv I suppose because I'm actually white too... So it never registered in my mind that I was separate from them.

But I am. There's no getting around it. I can NEVER hang out with white people and feel fully like I'm on their level at all.

Granted, White people have ruined their reputation to no end these days. Mind you, they'll still hold on to their superiority stuff in the end but goddamn, never thought I'd see the day when white people were shitting all over themselves in the public eye like this...

It pisses me off personally. I kinda like thinking white people are above everybody. To see them tripping out and fucking up their rep like that is just weird to me...

I hope it doesn't mean this world's going to the dogs. If white people want to continue to fight the good fight and make the world awesome and cool, by all means... Don't just accept all the shit we're stuck in these days. Kick ass and save the world.

Anyway I'm just bored today. Rambling on and on about nothing at all. I'm going to either get into the CBP or just get a job at subway making sandwhiches.

If I get into the CBP, GODDAMN. Yanno, as a kid, I always felt like I was a soldier and like my father and would one day be like him and be in the military and working on aircraft or even flying planes. Now I can kiss that dream goodbye and I don't give much of a shit really, that's fine. I just hope that the people in charge of the CBP give me a good spot in there and understand who I am, I'm not just some fucker looking to make waves. I'll do my job and be cool and make shit tons of cash and won't make a mess of it, I swear to God. That's all I want. I'm not interested in getting on anybody's ass in this world. I always as a kid hoped my life would be rather smooth and uneventful. But I was WRONG in every way possible. From the day I was born to this very moment, I've had drama and stress on me constantly. It's just something you can't fix no matter how hard you try. Some people say that's life. Nobody has it easy. It's just going to be a rough ride till the day you grow old and drop fucking dead.

I can see that... Mind you, people generally enjoy fucking each other nonstop... which is wonderful. i love watching a girl take dick in every hole she has till she can't fucking think straight. That's fun.

But yeah mind you, this world is the wild west. 

You can be sitting down eating a sandwhich. A car will come flying into you and splatter you all over the pavement.

You can go watch fucking batman with your kids and someone will come in and blow you off the planet.

We're a nation at war at this very moment. There is someone shooting another person in the face with a fucking M-3 rifle right now...

It's not a nice world we live in. 

I've never had the opinion that I personally would never see the war zone. In fact, I've been preparing myself for that moment all my life.

Every day I think about how to react to very hard situations. I guess it's just warrior instinct. We all have the ability to get beast mode when the situation calls for it. It's called killer instinct and in fact that's what the military activates in soldiers before deploying them. Can't send a nigga into combat without turning on his killer instinct. just can't...Not trying to sound like an expert on combat. I honestly know dick about it. So don't get all fussy about me trying to explain military stuff. I don't know shit about what they do in there before they go drop 50 sand-niggers. And I don't want to know...

But I am enlisted in their ranks. They're keeping an eye on me. Hell, honestly I think they keep an eye on EVERYBODY who has ever enlisted or anything. Because the whole damn thing is dependent on that everybody is doing whatever they're expected to do by the book. (which I personlly don't like.) There's never going to be a situation EVER where doing things by the book will always work 100%. I know I've met people who swear by the book and say that's all there is. Then there's fucking REALITY. Yunno. When shit hits the fan and the book don't have a solution, you gotta go with the flow. That's how I personally roll...

And I'm not pulling that out of my ass. If a pilot is reading this shit right now. Because I went with my Gut one day, I saved your flight.

It's like with women. I gotta say, the one thing that I've discovered about life that has truly been a deep shock, is the complexity of females and just general idiocy of women.

They will have a fucking lengthy debate with you till you're blue in the face, and it'll be for no good reason and have no purpose, but that's how girls typically are. They want to fucking talk talk and talk and talk till we're just gonna drop dead.

They think in their little head that that makes sense. That a man wants to sit there all day and have a debate on some political issue.

Sorry but I'm just here taking a gander at your massive titties, that's what I'm doing... I WANT TO FUCKING RIP YOUR GODDAMN SHIRT OFF BITCH AND SUCK ON YOUR FUCKING NIPPLES TILL THE MILK SQUIRTS OUT BITCH.