Remembering mount

I think it wise to re-examine my high school experience in order to further understand my current mental state, and precisely why I feel very often as if I should feel regret over my actions in the last few years, which was and wasn't entirely my fault due to lack of understanding of how the world works due to the shitty education system in this country. On one hand, i honestly don't give a shit about people anymore and rightfully I believe am focused on getting a girlfriend, popping out babies, the whole thing.

On the other, I feel sorry for getting angry at people who I shouldn't have at the wrong time, especially since once you get pass high school and its retardedness there's plenty of people who aren't out to mindlessly bully you. About that. I think back on life back then, and I understand the columbine thing. Kids are assholes. I didn't want to be at school. Ya know what I wanted to be doing, putting my head between a girl's legs, taking her to the beach, all the things I believed was what every dude wanted, yet every single day I had to deal with a guy who had nothing else to do that day but push me around. so yeah it kind of gave me a defensive attitude, and now I'm learning that the whole fucking world is high school. If some jock guy in his 40s wants to harrass you he's got an army to back him up. And that's why we're at war now prettymuch. If you think that dickhead at school is bad, try dealing with a bunch of those same guys with guns. Which is why when I see someone who honestly was asking for someone to hit him, and he does get hit, I laugh.

I understand sadism. We're only human and in fact I've enjoyed torturing animals to my own disgrace, but it's part of our nature unfortunately to be cruel fuckers. In fact some philosophize that only the most ruthless should be at the top.

What can I say. I'm as average as they come. I have a dick. I want to use it. I don't want to deal with immature bullying anymore the older I get. But surprise surprise, adults are no different from the fuckers you knew as a kid. Maybe only the strong should survive, I don't know.