Fags

I am now about 8 or so days in since I quit masturbating. Like with any drug you get addicted to, my mind is trying its darnedest to convince me that if I don't blow a load I'll never feel good again. I know cognitively that it's not real, it's an illusion created by my brain to make me want to get that high it misses.

Stupidly I think about the internet as if its my beginning and end. One thing that bothers me a lot is that yeah the people who hate and condemn me ARE similarly transfixed on sex, slaves to it just the same. The only thing that seems to make a difference is that I'm black and they're white, fucking their girlfriends night and day, which is fine, but don't take it out on me because I'm not following the same course you are. You decided to fuck out of wedlock, or perhaps you decided to get married then procreate, that doesn't give you the right to boss me around. But yeah these very happy drunk with lust white kids in their teens and twenties are taking pot shots at me omg he wants to teks our wimmen. Shut up. You've got a lot of growing up to do, as do I. Sex is nothing to joke around with, it's a big ass deal, changes everything about you and your whole life, so don't just weild it like a weapon against other races like you know what you're doing with it. Do you want to deal with a crying baby at 2 in the morning? Labor? The actual raising of children, not so simple. I keep seeing too many women who love having a baby, then they hate having the person who it turns into, good grief, you asked for it idiot. Don't have kids unless you really want them and have done your best to prepare for it. Don't piss on me because you don't like me being around your kids that you stupidly allow to watch porn day and night on the internet like it's a good idea.

What's more, I realize now that the law doesn't matter. There is no set age when one "should" finally be ready to have sex. The issue is too complex and too many people disagree. All I know is that at my age, a lot of older people who perhaps have ten kids already, want to actually FORCE me to get with someone NOW after I did what I was taught to do and actually stayed away from girls all throughout high school. Stupid right, because the guy who was fucking all those four years is now my boss. lovely. You got to get the experience out of the way before getting too old to start, got to say, don't impregnate a girl, just rub her body and squeeze her ass, and motorboat her titties, and get the feel of it, then when you're ready to go condomless, go for it.

Anyway, my bad, I get a little too emotional. I got to find something to take my mind off tits and ass. So I'm watching some gay porn as usual. I am just bowled over that these dudes like doing this stuff. I guess they're getting paid for it? I don't know. Truth is there's a lof of people in this world, some are stable (which is defined as being a functioning human being who gets their job done etc.) and others who the fuck knows what's wrong with them...