Progress report

I've lost maybe a few pounds thanks to going vegitarian. I'm already thin because of my stay in the military where I worked out every single day, all part of the brainwashing, they got to keep ya busy down there. It's only now that I've been back for a few months that my body's getting used to being lazy as shit. Thinking back on it, really the only thing that saved me from not collapsing from the physical strain every day was my youthfulness. I still had the same muscles I"d worked hard all my life to build up to that point so it wasn't hard to get them back in gear for the physical stuff. So the airforce wasn't worried about that, it was my willingness to get married that pissed them off. Littled did I know but yeah the world's run by married people and if you're not with them, you don't matter, so it kind of surprised me is all that that's how things are. Like if I got married, they'd have backed off of me and treated me like a full grown ass man with power and prestige. Sure I'm legally an adult, but naw, the only true adults in this society are people who've fucked. Even if they're 15, it changes you forever once you've done it for real and not just with a playboy. Like when I was going to school, and got interested in holly, my thoughts and everything changed to wanting to protect and love her forever, that kind of stuff. So I understand it, but the stuff I don't want to deal with is the way women can strip a man clean of all his money these days, not a great incentive to go getting hitched no matter how you slice it.

sigh, well that's it. I want to join the army but I'm kind of scared to since I really don't like how people think of me as a piece of meat they can use to either study ridiculously hard and school and therefore become a better employee to the corporation or good enough dick for some latina bitch just popping out of no where and rubbing her titties on my arm. I'm not a kid. Remarkably I've been around for a long time on this planet so ya know it kind of disturbs me more than anything that much older people keep treating me as if I should be in high school still, which I'm forever greatful I'll never have to do again, but yeah the whole romance with young girls thing is something I can't revisit and now I'm unfortunately unprepared to do any of that even though girls my age have already been around the block in that regard. And that's precisely what trips people up about me, they don't even understand how someone can go for so long without sex nor how he can think of living his life without it. That's me though, I'm who I am, and I know my rights to be me in this country, so you can't just drop a hot girl in front of me and expect me to be like a horny 15 year old looking to pull her pants down and squeeze her titties. Unfortunately maybe I am the only real man left in this world now that I think about it, because I'm thinking more about what I'm going to do with my life than fucking girls....

I mean I can't even express it clearly, but yes I am a man, not a child, no matter what the military wants to make me think. It's insulting when I was in there how one minute they say "wow you never had a girlfriend." then call me a child, then tell me to get married and grow up, but that's people, they don't know what they're doing.