I'm eating broccoli now. I keep thinking about sabrina frato though. She's that girl who let me touch her breasts, very interesting experience since I don't know much about breasts or whatever. I mean I used to be surrounded by them every day then out of the clear blue I finally get to feel some. Then I read on forums that girls like getting their breasts felt up, what a shock to me. I don't know... I wanted to do all that sex stuff for so long and still want to, but what the hell can I do to get to that point I wonder without having any money. So she's a slut right. I knew it immediately after first meeting her. She had this look like she's had a million orgasms, she had body tatoos, seen her type before a thousand times, and she's a bit of a bitch cuz she took a shot at my ego that one time when I made a witty remark.
So I had some gay porn out on my computer today. I like watching gay porn because it intrigues me, I don't know how a man could want to fuck a dude in the butt hole, but there it is, a guy swallowing another man's dick and a guy getting it in the butt from some guy, must be what gets them off, so whatever. My mom who I haven't spoken to all friggin week then comes out of my room when I come back upstairs and starts going crazy calling me a faggot and shit, and that she'll remove the internet if that's all I watch. This really took me off guard and I didn't have time to reason out my response to her outbursts so I got defensive which I shouldn't have because she already knows I'm all about ass and titties, must never have seen gay porn before lol. Well I'll be damned, are women that fearful of gays or that they won't find any real men anymore? Wtf. I don't get it cuz if I express my deep passion for beautiful females, I'm going to be skewered, called a horndog. Like I said before it's not rich white men gay people have to be afraid of, it's women. Women HATE homosexuality because sex is THAT good to them. Also Women, mostly white women, hate black guys for the most part because they don't want to be infected by blackness. Women are ruthless and insane.
I never knew this when I was little. Girls were the same, and I admired their intelligence more than anything. It wasn't until I met alicia that I fell in love with their bodies. She was stupid as hell, but she was my girl ya know, didn't matter who she was or if she had a fat friend. I'm still into her ya know... but shit, truth is she won't have anything to do with a dude as broke as me. Gotta make that money if you want to get the honey.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Getting girls pregnant
Something I never thought about before. I ain't having children, going to train my body to live without ejaculating because I don't much care for bringing innocent kids into this horrible world, and I mean horrible, I don't understand why we have to be all crazy in this world, I just don't... If I had it my way I'd make it so we'd just enjoy our lives as much as possible.
I mean dizamn what the hell is going on with all the abstinence only stuff. I get it now. Sex isn't just fun time happiness for a little bit. It's creating people and to do that, girls have to go through hard labor. So a lot of fathers worship women because it's a difficult thing to do, giving birth.
damn, I ain't never doing that though, never.
I mean dizamn what the hell is going on with all the abstinence only stuff. I get it now. Sex isn't just fun time happiness for a little bit. It's creating people and to do that, girls have to go through hard labor. So a lot of fathers worship women because it's a difficult thing to do, giving birth.
damn, I ain't never doing that though, never.
Progress report
I've lost maybe a few pounds thanks to going vegitarian. I'm already thin because of my stay in the military where I worked out every single day, all part of the brainwashing, they got to keep ya busy down there. It's only now that I've been back for a few months that my body's getting used to being lazy as shit. Thinking back on it, really the only thing that saved me from not collapsing from the physical strain every day was my youthfulness. I still had the same muscles I"d worked hard all my life to build up to that point so it wasn't hard to get them back in gear for the physical stuff. So the airforce wasn't worried about that, it was my willingness to get married that pissed them off. Littled did I know but yeah the world's run by married people and if you're not with them, you don't matter, so it kind of surprised me is all that that's how things are. Like if I got married, they'd have backed off of me and treated me like a full grown ass man with power and prestige. Sure I'm legally an adult, but naw, the only true adults in this society are people who've fucked. Even if they're 15, it changes you forever once you've done it for real and not just with a playboy. Like when I was going to school, and got interested in holly, my thoughts and everything changed to wanting to protect and love her forever, that kind of stuff. So I understand it, but the stuff I don't want to deal with is the way women can strip a man clean of all his money these days, not a great incentive to go getting hitched no matter how you slice it.
sigh, well that's it. I want to join the army but I'm kind of scared to since I really don't like how people think of me as a piece of meat they can use to either study ridiculously hard and school and therefore become a better employee to the corporation or good enough dick for some latina bitch just popping out of no where and rubbing her titties on my arm. I'm not a kid. Remarkably I've been around for a long time on this planet so ya know it kind of disturbs me more than anything that much older people keep treating me as if I should be in high school still, which I'm forever greatful I'll never have to do again, but yeah the whole romance with young girls thing is something I can't revisit and now I'm unfortunately unprepared to do any of that even though girls my age have already been around the block in that regard. And that's precisely what trips people up about me, they don't even understand how someone can go for so long without sex nor how he can think of living his life without it. That's me though, I'm who I am, and I know my rights to be me in this country, so you can't just drop a hot girl in front of me and expect me to be like a horny 15 year old looking to pull her pants down and squeeze her titties. Unfortunately maybe I am the only real man left in this world now that I think about it, because I'm thinking more about what I'm going to do with my life than fucking girls....
I mean I can't even express it clearly, but yes I am a man, not a child, no matter what the military wants to make me think. It's insulting when I was in there how one minute they say "wow you never had a girlfriend." then call me a child, then tell me to get married and grow up, but that's people, they don't know what they're doing.
sigh, well that's it. I want to join the army but I'm kind of scared to since I really don't like how people think of me as a piece of meat they can use to either study ridiculously hard and school and therefore become a better employee to the corporation or good enough dick for some latina bitch just popping out of no where and rubbing her titties on my arm. I'm not a kid. Remarkably I've been around for a long time on this planet so ya know it kind of disturbs me more than anything that much older people keep treating me as if I should be in high school still, which I'm forever greatful I'll never have to do again, but yeah the whole romance with young girls thing is something I can't revisit and now I'm unfortunately unprepared to do any of that even though girls my age have already been around the block in that regard. And that's precisely what trips people up about me, they don't even understand how someone can go for so long without sex nor how he can think of living his life without it. That's me though, I'm who I am, and I know my rights to be me in this country, so you can't just drop a hot girl in front of me and expect me to be like a horny 15 year old looking to pull her pants down and squeeze her titties. Unfortunately maybe I am the only real man left in this world now that I think about it, because I'm thinking more about what I'm going to do with my life than fucking girls....
I mean I can't even express it clearly, but yes I am a man, not a child, no matter what the military wants to make me think. It's insulting when I was in there how one minute they say "wow you never had a girlfriend." then call me a child, then tell me to get married and grow up, but that's people, they don't know what they're doing.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Ooooooooooh yeah
blew two loads off to amber fox. She's like a mean little porche of a girl, goddamn... Not only does she have beautiful milk makers, but the ass is just sweet and smooth like whaley's down at lackland. Goddamn, wouldn't mind marrying that if marriage wasn't such a waste of time these days.
Here yall go http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4r5hd_amber-fox-boobs_sexy
Hot ass girl I tell ya. And I love when she shakes here titties then looks down at them with love in her eyes. Love for all the wonderful things she can do with them!
I've resolved to the mindset that defeating masturbation is like defeating pissing or shitting, or breathing, not going to happen. It's just incredibly sad that this society for whatever reason tries to instill in teenagers that there's such a thing as really holding your breath indefinitely. My body wants to procreate, like it's supposed to, there's nothing wrong with that. I feel a sense of being at peace with death even when I shoot my load. Why, because I'm not really dead, I'm still alive in some form.
The question is who do you want to go becoming immortal with, and don't even get me started on the complex politics associated with that. I realize if you're black, you're in trouble because trying to get some white pussy will be considered getting an upgrade to a lot of people. Nevermind that there's no stopping sexuality, it's like a, yeah, a military, big testosterone fueled military. I realize that everything we do in life is for sex now. There's no religious belief or whatever behind why we do anything. We want to fuck till kingdom come, so we built this society the way it is, so we can have a nice place to fuck.
We get a job so we can get that hot ass. And on and on and on. I mean it always made sense to me to get a girlfriend and become the manly protector of her and rub my face into her titties, and do all that good shit, so I don't see why schools like to impress upon us that we're better off denying our primary goal. It won't end. It's like the hulk's powers, he represents men's unstoppable sexual potency in the end. It's both good and bad unfortunately. On one hand he's badass and can't be stopped, on the other hand if he goes crazy with it, he kills people who didn't start shit with anybody.
Here yall go http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4r5hd_amber-fox-boobs_sexy
Hot ass girl I tell ya. And I love when she shakes here titties then looks down at them with love in her eyes. Love for all the wonderful things she can do with them!
I've resolved to the mindset that defeating masturbation is like defeating pissing or shitting, or breathing, not going to happen. It's just incredibly sad that this society for whatever reason tries to instill in teenagers that there's such a thing as really holding your breath indefinitely. My body wants to procreate, like it's supposed to, there's nothing wrong with that. I feel a sense of being at peace with death even when I shoot my load. Why, because I'm not really dead, I'm still alive in some form.
The question is who do you want to go becoming immortal with, and don't even get me started on the complex politics associated with that. I realize if you're black, you're in trouble because trying to get some white pussy will be considered getting an upgrade to a lot of people. Nevermind that there's no stopping sexuality, it's like a, yeah, a military, big testosterone fueled military. I realize that everything we do in life is for sex now. There's no religious belief or whatever behind why we do anything. We want to fuck till kingdom come, so we built this society the way it is, so we can have a nice place to fuck.
We get a job so we can get that hot ass. And on and on and on. I mean it always made sense to me to get a girlfriend and become the manly protector of her and rub my face into her titties, and do all that good shit, so I don't see why schools like to impress upon us that we're better off denying our primary goal. It won't end. It's like the hulk's powers, he represents men's unstoppable sexual potency in the end. It's both good and bad unfortunately. On one hand he's badass and can't be stopped, on the other hand if he goes crazy with it, he kills people who didn't start shit with anybody.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Speaking of gay
The last time I masturbated was thursday. What was I doing, I was horny like I am now. I'd been looking at nude chicks on my comp for quite a while, not white chicks either, but ridiculously big boobed black girls, cuz I like to think I'm sucking on their breasts, but I don't know... I decided to make things more interesting this time. Orgasming feels good for like a few seconds then it stops feeling good at all right afterwards. I used to just rub my dick on the couch and that'd send me to heaven alone, then the resulting explosion of semen would be the icing on the cake. I then started drawing porn regularly. Just drawing every curve of the female body made me feel great. I didn't need to ejaculate. I loved loved loved drawing girls. Then I got the internet, a more advanced version with kazaa and stuff. It was then that I learned of anal sex. Oh what is this... I downloaded a clip of a woman being fucked in the ass by a dick so big it hurt her. Right on! I loved it. She's all happy to get it in the butt, then it actually goes in and she's like "ohh wait! slow down." Cool. That's women for you, happily getting fucked in the ass. So I kinda got curious about it too, anal sex. I didn't want to be gay, just wanted to know the taste of it, so yeah one day while masturbating I put my finger tip in my butt. It was interesting and new sensation that actually DID elevate the orgasm. After that I did it all the time until I got worried that I actually was gay. Then my god it was hard to quit anal stimulation. I felt gay for a long time about it until i learned that that's an actual masturbation technique, and you're not necessarily gay if you stimulate the rectum before orgasm. I still love hot young women, there's no changing that. I look at my porn pics and immediately my dick shoots up at the sight of a pussy these days. In fact I've never really wanted to taste or touch or lick a girl's vagina until now at 23. I've always looked at them in an idealistic sense, not a real flesh and blood and potential baby making sense, but damnit if I'm not looking around girls on the street and seeing them as pieces of meat I can use to make a little me with. Must be nature taking its course. Still I'm just saying I've been there that's all. I know why gays are gays. I've been down that road, but women are still my number one interest no matter what.
gay gay gay
slashfilm banned me. Like damn, didn't expect that. And I didn't even post much, it's just that these internet cops and now the military want me dead. I think sometimes it's racism, like I listen to the podcasts and they love to mock ebonics as if speaking urban style makes you stupid. And of course some of the goofball white kids online are taking aim at me for being a 'cancer' to their perfect utopian internet, which it isn't, but that's not my concern. If I wasn't already in a pickle, now I'm banned from talking shit about movies and such after my porn binges. It's all politics. I realize long ago you can't please everybody on the internet, so I just say what I honestly think without trying to manipulate people and it doesn't fit what people expect or want to hear, so there ya go, banned. No big concern to me.
What's killing me right now is my continued battle with my porn addiction. I'm in the withdrawal stage now.
I love how we can figure out that the sun will explode in 5 billion years but GOD FORBBID we solve our own issues with sex and sex education for young people. How is that you can bring a child screaming into this terrible world, then prettymuch ignore their basic bodily functions then when they're an adult reeeeeeeeeeeally not give a damn if they are in good health or not. Like if I was an airman right now, they'd care if I felt free of my sexual tension only if it helped me work harder, sad but true.
Anyway the new last airbender trailer's out. Movie looking like a live action version of avatar the last airbender, what else could it be. I don't even care about that show anymore though. It's good but it's really not THAT good, and there are much more impressive actual anime toons that deserve to be turned into live action, like cowboy beebop, gundam, naruto. It's a shame those haven't been picked up. Dragonball sadly didn't win anyone over to more anime-to-film transfers. I'll see the movie in theaters because I personally love the characters and all that stuff, but the tv series had its ups and downs and ends predictably on a happy side. it'd have been more interesting if they had zuko not turn good etc. it's like oh he's struggling with whether to be a good guy or a bad guy seeking revenge, I wonder which he'll become in the end... oh he's NOT being a asshole anymore. ....meh. I hope the movie version does something new with it. Don't get me wrong, it's a good show but it's like an anime series in a lot of ways. Some episodes are genius, others you can tell they weren't trying as hard.
What's killing me right now is my continued battle with my porn addiction. I'm in the withdrawal stage now.
I love how we can figure out that the sun will explode in 5 billion years but GOD FORBBID we solve our own issues with sex and sex education for young people. How is that you can bring a child screaming into this terrible world, then prettymuch ignore their basic bodily functions then when they're an adult reeeeeeeeeeeally not give a damn if they are in good health or not. Like if I was an airman right now, they'd care if I felt free of my sexual tension only if it helped me work harder, sad but true.
Anyway the new last airbender trailer's out. Movie looking like a live action version of avatar the last airbender, what else could it be. I don't even care about that show anymore though. It's good but it's really not THAT good, and there are much more impressive actual anime toons that deserve to be turned into live action, like cowboy beebop, gundam, naruto. It's a shame those haven't been picked up. Dragonball sadly didn't win anyone over to more anime-to-film transfers. I'll see the movie in theaters because I personally love the characters and all that stuff, but the tv series had its ups and downs and ends predictably on a happy side. it'd have been more interesting if they had zuko not turn good etc. it's like oh he's struggling with whether to be a good guy or a bad guy seeking revenge, I wonder which he'll become in the end... oh he's NOT being a asshole anymore. ....meh. I hope the movie version does something new with it. Don't get me wrong, it's a good show but it's like an anime series in a lot of ways. Some episodes are genius, others you can tell they weren't trying as hard.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Going Green
I'm going green niggas. And by that I mean vegetarian.
I'm thinking that'll not only help me lose a lot of weight but make me feel better. I feel awful, and not just oh I'm horny, gotta get dat pussy feeling, I mean no energy, no life, fucking lame man.
But I had some brocolli with cheese a few minutes ago and it was actually quite pleasant. I've never eaten anything but fattening foods and sugary drinks and it took its toll on my teenage body, making me completely unable to get cut muscles although I tried vigorously every day to get in great shape. No doubt it's why I have great muscle strength now and very good agility, but I can say confidently that not eating right caused me to be too heavy to really move fast.
Veggies clean out your system I've read. Makes ya shit nice and smooth when it comes out too. None of that brick shit or in some cases liquid magma. Nice and smooth and thick.
I'm thinking that'll not only help me lose a lot of weight but make me feel better. I feel awful, and not just oh I'm horny, gotta get dat pussy feeling, I mean no energy, no life, fucking lame man.
But I had some brocolli with cheese a few minutes ago and it was actually quite pleasant. I've never eaten anything but fattening foods and sugary drinks and it took its toll on my teenage body, making me completely unable to get cut muscles although I tried vigorously every day to get in great shape. No doubt it's why I have great muscle strength now and very good agility, but I can say confidently that not eating right caused me to be too heavy to really move fast.
Veggies clean out your system I've read. Makes ya shit nice and smooth when it comes out too. None of that brick shit or in some cases liquid magma. Nice and smooth and thick.
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