Im thinking about my old days at jedi.net because of some kids i met at the basketball court recently. the thing about children is that they're very stupid yet believe they know it all... like me when i to my own disgrace smugly shut down a decent thread discussing the meaning behind yoda's line "you will be, you will be" which I realize now was in reference to how luke would face his fear of losing his friends later in the movie. I was an honors student at mt saint michael, a good one, didn't waver in my studies and believed foolishly that i was right in what i was saying because i belonged to a better class of students.
I mean, it was a kid making a kid mistake, but at the same time I don't feel like I've really grown beyond that point, I still jump head first into things without taking that extra second that could be all the difference, although I do try... I'm feeling my age and because of that, have slowed down and also since I'm more into girls than kid stuff, I'm not too inclined to worry about my shortcomings in the area of intellect, but I'm personally dissatisfied with my level of forethought and accurate knowledge.
what's more I'm hesitant to engage children in any discussion because they'll do the same thing, jump head first into it fully believing they know what they're talking about. I lack the patience to deal with that so I usually end up ignoring them which is no good either. Kids are not stupid, they're just arrogant and lack perspective because they live in a little bubble away from the real world most of them...
the real world, what a funny place. Do or die, kill or be killed, get rich or die tryin.
Maybe it's just the horniness talking, fucking tired of struggling with my libido that's for sure. where was I, oh yeah, I don't know what to do with the kids man... they are insane. I only know that there's no real role models for them these days, which is going to backfire on us all since the next gen's going to be spinning around not know what to do with themselves most likely.
I'm essentially searching for the right way to do things and battling my urges to do wrong, which is what the title means.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Nigga gotta eat
I'm getting tired of this... infinitely so. I'm black, and maybe some of you rich white folk think black people care about other blacks out there but you're wrong, very wrong. so some nigga steals my tug at work right, and it pissed me off, but i figure I'm just getting money here, don't care what happens to the job... but for the love of, it's getting ridiculous seeing black people kick each others asses for little table scraps from whitey. Money is survival and as such blacks will do anything to get it, even if they work extremely hard for low wages. Or worse, have to defend whites from other blacks as is the case with the "head negro" or "house nigga" phenomenon. Obama embodies this completely, sucking white dicks any way he can to survive in a world where they'll tear him apart if he goes too far out of line. Yep, he's that black guy at corporations who's enjoying the good life so the corporation can tell the world "look we love niggers."
Ain't nutting but 3 black pilots I've EVER seen at jfk. 3, and they're probably doing the flights most white pilots don't want to do.
It's like that everywhere. Bagroom has 2 white guys out of the hundreds of employees. Eithere they're retarded and can't get a job at home depot or something, or they're set-ups.
And worst of all is that black people love sucking white cocks. I don't blame white people for taking advantage of the fact that there's a shitload of pussy easily manipulated blacks out there who'll gladly betray other blacks for a chance to wear a suit and a tie and look like a gentleman. Military is full of this. They go find some homeless black guy, tell him if he plays by their rules he'll have food and shelter, and he's all like "hells ya massa whateva u say" It's that easy. Even the slightest, "no I don't think that's right" would change the level of ease at which whites can control them because they need somebody to do the work, but all they'll do is go ask some black guy in prison to do the work for even less money, so of course that keeps these guys from making any waves.
Rich get richer the poor get poorer and that's the way they want to keep it. And blacks will defend this unfair treatment too since "durr im gettin paid fer it durr" yes you are, but you're getting paid a penny for every thousand your boss does. And they're still not going to care. Wake up.
Ain't nutting but 3 black pilots I've EVER seen at jfk. 3, and they're probably doing the flights most white pilots don't want to do.
It's like that everywhere. Bagroom has 2 white guys out of the hundreds of employees. Eithere they're retarded and can't get a job at home depot or something, or they're set-ups.
And worst of all is that black people love sucking white cocks. I don't blame white people for taking advantage of the fact that there's a shitload of pussy easily manipulated blacks out there who'll gladly betray other blacks for a chance to wear a suit and a tie and look like a gentleman. Military is full of this. They go find some homeless black guy, tell him if he plays by their rules he'll have food and shelter, and he's all like "hells ya massa whateva u say" It's that easy. Even the slightest, "no I don't think that's right" would change the level of ease at which whites can control them because they need somebody to do the work, but all they'll do is go ask some black guy in prison to do the work for even less money, so of course that keeps these guys from making any waves.
Rich get richer the poor get poorer and that's the way they want to keep it. And blacks will defend this unfair treatment too since "durr im gettin paid fer it durr" yes you are, but you're getting paid a penny for every thousand your boss does. And they're still not going to care. Wake up.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Battle for LA
Decent film, nice movie to see with a crowd, so go for it.
Little warning, it is a military propaganda movie, not a glob of anti-military sentiment to be found, but besides that it's a good story about a marine who's coming to terms with the loss of the men under his command, I wish the movie went even deeper into his character, but otherwise don't expect more than typical captain america tough guy with brass balls wash rinse repeat from him throughout the movie.
The other characters are disposable, it's his story, and it's fun. I enjoyed the alien attacks and how they found ways to defeat them. I was hoping the movie would make the humans use little traps and tricks to defeat the aliens, and it pleasantly actually did. You can tell a man wrote the movie, he knows what we like. I can't watch a straight up dumb movie with a simple, no brains story-line, somebody has to do a fake-out or something clever, and of course it happened when the guy used the radio to draw the alien away from the bus and then tossed a grenade. Nice.
So it's not a stupid film, it makes your brain work out a bit, you question the motives of the characters, and in my case being former-military try to understand whether what you're seeing is true to life or just a sugar coated version of the real thing. I got to say it is watered down. There's only one moment I liked when the staff sargent threatened to kill one of his own guys for not staying with the group. THAT's how the military actually works. But it's downplayed in the movie, the marines fight for noble "protect the children" reasons, which is absolutely false. The military kills more children than they will ever protect. They're about themselves, to whatever end that takes them.
And there was no racism, wtf. There's tons of that in the mil, yet not only do the black guys mostly survive, it has a girl power angle too although I like how she's actually made to be a hindrance in one scene, finally movies are being more realistic. Women don't go into combat, I don't care what pictures you've seen, they're just 'ass' to fuck, not fodder for war.
But anyway, good flick.
Little warning, it is a military propaganda movie, not a glob of anti-military sentiment to be found, but besides that it's a good story about a marine who's coming to terms with the loss of the men under his command, I wish the movie went even deeper into his character, but otherwise don't expect more than typical captain america tough guy with brass balls wash rinse repeat from him throughout the movie.
The other characters are disposable, it's his story, and it's fun. I enjoyed the alien attacks and how they found ways to defeat them. I was hoping the movie would make the humans use little traps and tricks to defeat the aliens, and it pleasantly actually did. You can tell a man wrote the movie, he knows what we like. I can't watch a straight up dumb movie with a simple, no brains story-line, somebody has to do a fake-out or something clever, and of course it happened when the guy used the radio to draw the alien away from the bus and then tossed a grenade. Nice.
So it's not a stupid film, it makes your brain work out a bit, you question the motives of the characters, and in my case being former-military try to understand whether what you're seeing is true to life or just a sugar coated version of the real thing. I got to say it is watered down. There's only one moment I liked when the staff sargent threatened to kill one of his own guys for not staying with the group. THAT's how the military actually works. But it's downplayed in the movie, the marines fight for noble "protect the children" reasons, which is absolutely false. The military kills more children than they will ever protect. They're about themselves, to whatever end that takes them.
And there was no racism, wtf. There's tons of that in the mil, yet not only do the black guys mostly survive, it has a girl power angle too although I like how she's actually made to be a hindrance in one scene, finally movies are being more realistic. Women don't go into combat, I don't care what pictures you've seen, they're just 'ass' to fuck, not fodder for war.
But anyway, good flick.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
being a man
Is hard.
Period. My coworker and i were talking about my days in the military, right. I'm like, dude honestly the mil is easier than Delta ramp, and he's like he knew a guy who was once deployed in iraq and had a powerful gun there and blew away a bunch of guys and that he hasn't seen him in a long time because he's probably dead, and I was all like, yeah the mil will do that to him...
But besides warfare, I find it difficult to feel at ease around kids. I don't want to hurt them ya know. They're so small and inexperienced etc. My greatest regret was taking aim at a kid on a message board when he was acting foolish, bad bad bad idea. So you understand my frustration. Kids will push you to your limit and beyond because they don't know any better and many grown men and women DO kick their asses because they can't take it anymore.
I try to realize that kids think they know everything even when they don't. Like my niece, she's 15 now I guess and she's a giant just like her mother, so I'm like wow you're tall, and she's like your so little... because that's how she talks with her buddies, it's war as a kid, and I felt like saying something in retaliation, then I realized she's fucking 15 and stupid, so I kept my mouth shut, but imagine living with her stupid ass all day and dealing with that... I'd be in jail by now...
I don't know what to do... and IF and I mean IF I get a wife and kids, I'm going to have to learn restraint, somehow... because one of my biggest problems with my own parents is that they make rush decisions that are wrong, and don't budge on them... can't do that...
Japan is FUCKED UP right now though, just got to say I'm saddened by the tragic events unfolding there.
Period. My coworker and i were talking about my days in the military, right. I'm like, dude honestly the mil is easier than Delta ramp, and he's like he knew a guy who was once deployed in iraq and had a powerful gun there and blew away a bunch of guys and that he hasn't seen him in a long time because he's probably dead, and I was all like, yeah the mil will do that to him...
But besides warfare, I find it difficult to feel at ease around kids. I don't want to hurt them ya know. They're so small and inexperienced etc. My greatest regret was taking aim at a kid on a message board when he was acting foolish, bad bad bad idea. So you understand my frustration. Kids will push you to your limit and beyond because they don't know any better and many grown men and women DO kick their asses because they can't take it anymore.
I try to realize that kids think they know everything even when they don't. Like my niece, she's 15 now I guess and she's a giant just like her mother, so I'm like wow you're tall, and she's like your so little... because that's how she talks with her buddies, it's war as a kid, and I felt like saying something in retaliation, then I realized she's fucking 15 and stupid, so I kept my mouth shut, but imagine living with her stupid ass all day and dealing with that... I'd be in jail by now...
I don't know what to do... and IF and I mean IF I get a wife and kids, I'm going to have to learn restraint, somehow... because one of my biggest problems with my own parents is that they make rush decisions that are wrong, and don't budge on them... can't do that...
Japan is FUCKED UP right now though, just got to say I'm saddened by the tragic events unfolding there.
Vodka
You are a retard. I want whoever you are to know it. I don't know what country you came from but your dumb ass put a big ass bottle of vodka in a duffle bag surrounded by clothes and you're lucky as shit that that didn't break when your bag flew open as the zipper broke and I noticed it all spewing out onto the belt... shoulda stole it honestly, nobody watches us bag guys unless it's for a serious flight with rich people or whatever. Dumbass.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Car horny
Damn I'm horny. Every girl I see who's like young but not some stupid kiddie age, I want to peel her clothes off like a banana and lick every inch of her delicious body. I don't care if she's like 15, man. This happened to me, ok, I said something bout not really seeing much difference between 16 and 18 and some asshole person jumped on me like they wanted to kill me for insinuating that I'd pound some minor ass. LOL, shrugs, yes... honestly I certainly would. Some people, probably all those who've been fucking since high school, have some common sense about it, teenage girls are ready to go just as much as any 18 year old is, and plenty of them, including my sister, start fucking young, not waiting for shit. But the law's the law ain't it... So now I feel creepy for being attracted to girls who are underage yet are rocking d cups ya know... so unfair. And I get the feeling that it's not about protecting children, it's about hammering young males for the hell of it... this world is awful... stupid people making stupid laws.
I remember there was a case where the legal system threw the book at some high school guy who was 17 and was caught on video getting a blow job from some 15 year old little slut or some shit. they crucified the guy and he was actually the right age. the law doesn't matter....
Anyway, just got to keep on making money for now as much as I can... going to buy a car and then I'll be ok, not going to be without some form of shelter at least. problem is you can't just have a car, gots to pay insurance, which is why a lot of people opt out of cars. sucks... I thought you could own your car and drive it and whatever happens is on your ass, but insurance is mandatory... so there's no owning a car unless you have a job. no getting pussy either...
i learned that this thing called taxes pays you back after they take your money from your paycheck, so on april 12 i'll get like a 1100 dollars and from that combined with my shitty little delta pay I'll buy a good vehicle, not like a honda civic. If my father doesn't put me on his insurance and decreases my payment to 150 a month, then I'll have to bite the bullet and fork over the near 400 a month insurance costs since the benefits outweigh the costs. i'll get to work on time every time, might even sleep in the car and just drive home when my days are done... gotta eat...
ok, enough of my plans and pedophilia.
I remember there was a case where the legal system threw the book at some high school guy who was 17 and was caught on video getting a blow job from some 15 year old little slut or some shit. they crucified the guy and he was actually the right age. the law doesn't matter....
Anyway, just got to keep on making money for now as much as I can... going to buy a car and then I'll be ok, not going to be without some form of shelter at least. problem is you can't just have a car, gots to pay insurance, which is why a lot of people opt out of cars. sucks... I thought you could own your car and drive it and whatever happens is on your ass, but insurance is mandatory... so there's no owning a car unless you have a job. no getting pussy either...
i learned that this thing called taxes pays you back after they take your money from your paycheck, so on april 12 i'll get like a 1100 dollars and from that combined with my shitty little delta pay I'll buy a good vehicle, not like a honda civic. If my father doesn't put me on his insurance and decreases my payment to 150 a month, then I'll have to bite the bullet and fork over the near 400 a month insurance costs since the benefits outweigh the costs. i'll get to work on time every time, might even sleep in the car and just drive home when my days are done... gotta eat...
ok, enough of my plans and pedophilia.
Monday, March 7, 2011
talked to a pilot
second time, they're like titans, or kings, common folk like ramp agents can't really get too close to them and stuff, very few pilots are actually former ramp agents, most are former military, take that any way you want based on your feelings on the mil...
we were in the elevator and the door closed on him too fast and hit his arm, so he joked that that'd be considered an oji and implied that the flight might be cancelled, i in my smartass way implied he'd crash the plane now by saying ' i feel sorry for the passengers' and he of course showed nothing but concern for them by replying, 'oh no they don't want to go to africa today' funny guy...
he's the pilot for the acc a flight from jfk to ghana, must be a long ass flight. mostly cargo no doubt, and whoever indeed feels the need to go to africa.
i feel like i shouldn't be afraid of them because of what i know about people like him, they're not over sensitive or nothing, cowboys, ya know. if there's one thing i took away from bmt that i did like besides the broom handle to the ass, it was the socializing aspect, making you confortable with all kinds of people, dont be afraid to say what's on your mind too much, dont offend anyone deliberately, but don't worry about making a fool of yourself, that's life, we're going to have to get along one way or another, so i'm less anxious and shy than i used to be.
now the real issue is how the hell do i go from being a luggage monkey to a pilot myself... fuck this bagroom shit. i hate how they try to threaten you with losing your job in there but keep plotting you for flights because lord knows somebody's got to unload hundreds of bags that day.... so just stop with the threats already. i know you need me but don't want to make it seem like you do. such assholes. young guys too, you'd think they'd go to college with the money they're making, and get a way better job, but they seem to have given up on that lofty ideal. not me. not that i give a fuck about college, but flight school aint no ceap thing either. don't need a degree to be a pilot, just flight hours and a license, although as any corporation does, they make it seem like you need to be goddam superman before you can land the job.
one of these days i'll have to build the courage to ask a pilot what he did to get there. they like to talk to people. it's a good job, a dream, to express their excitement is what a lot of them love to do i can tell you that for sure... but they intimidate people, that's the problem. oh we'll see...
we were in the elevator and the door closed on him too fast and hit his arm, so he joked that that'd be considered an oji and implied that the flight might be cancelled, i in my smartass way implied he'd crash the plane now by saying ' i feel sorry for the passengers' and he of course showed nothing but concern for them by replying, 'oh no they don't want to go to africa today' funny guy...
he's the pilot for the acc a flight from jfk to ghana, must be a long ass flight. mostly cargo no doubt, and whoever indeed feels the need to go to africa.
i feel like i shouldn't be afraid of them because of what i know about people like him, they're not over sensitive or nothing, cowboys, ya know. if there's one thing i took away from bmt that i did like besides the broom handle to the ass, it was the socializing aspect, making you confortable with all kinds of people, dont be afraid to say what's on your mind too much, dont offend anyone deliberately, but don't worry about making a fool of yourself, that's life, we're going to have to get along one way or another, so i'm less anxious and shy than i used to be.
now the real issue is how the hell do i go from being a luggage monkey to a pilot myself... fuck this bagroom shit. i hate how they try to threaten you with losing your job in there but keep plotting you for flights because lord knows somebody's got to unload hundreds of bags that day.... so just stop with the threats already. i know you need me but don't want to make it seem like you do. such assholes. young guys too, you'd think they'd go to college with the money they're making, and get a way better job, but they seem to have given up on that lofty ideal. not me. not that i give a fuck about college, but flight school aint no ceap thing either. don't need a degree to be a pilot, just flight hours and a license, although as any corporation does, they make it seem like you need to be goddam superman before you can land the job.
one of these days i'll have to build the courage to ask a pilot what he did to get there. they like to talk to people. it's a good job, a dream, to express their excitement is what a lot of them love to do i can tell you that for sure... but they intimidate people, that's the problem. oh we'll see...
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Disney's Downfall
What I understand about art is that there are certain levels to it ranging from very simple to extremely complex. Disney used to exemplify the latter, forgoing the easy simple stuff for incredible levels of excellence that would stand above all other forms in their field. This began with animation, but then extended to live action, and then every other aspect of disney's empire as it grew over time. Even their worst projects were lightyears ahead of the competition. If it was disney it was guaranteed to be worth your time.
Not anymore. Disney's become a whore like, honestly, like a lot of former disney-girls who have sold their bodies after their contract with disney expired. Now of course i know that girls do that anyway, that's nature, but the analogy still works. Look at Lohan. I love her, she's gorgeous, I'd marry that girl because there's good person in there, I tell you, but she's definitely turned to the dark side of late sullying her once clean disney rep. Same with that cyrus chick. well my point is that Disney's lost its way, becoming nothing but a hollowed out shell of its former self.
I say this now because I'm watching old disney movies for fun and they're unbelievable. You can see how utterly bored with regular cartoons disney was, so he made things interesting, created musicals more than films, simply letting the visuals be a companion to the music, which is the best way to go. There's no illusion about when and where a cut was made as every movie features cut after cut after cut, you're really watching a bunch of clips, but when they sync with the music, it feels right.
But hey ho, who cares about that now. Money money money, that's all that matters. Is it the lack of religion at the heart of this lowering of standards, I wonder? Let's face facts, disney has always catered to the fundamentalist mindset of sugary sweetness and flowers. Still disney himself said that he didn't just make movies for any one group, but for everyone, and didn't sugar coat the cruel world in them, and of course didn't water-down his genius either, going all-out with the artistic brilliance when he felt like it... such a shame things have changed so much... :(
Thanks god for pixar, keeping the original disney spirit alive. Hopefully, their films will embarrass disney so much that they get their act together and start shooting for the stars again. And I hope personally that Lohan remembers who she was when she made parent trap and stop acting like a slutty ho. there must be a sadness in girls who abandon all the dignity they once had. Like, I know porn stars think they're making a statement on feminine freedoms or whatever by taking a dick in their ass, but really all they're doing is giving up on trying to be classy and dignified, much like disney has.
Not anymore. Disney's become a whore like, honestly, like a lot of former disney-girls who have sold their bodies after their contract with disney expired. Now of course i know that girls do that anyway, that's nature, but the analogy still works. Look at Lohan. I love her, she's gorgeous, I'd marry that girl because there's good person in there, I tell you, but she's definitely turned to the dark side of late sullying her once clean disney rep. Same with that cyrus chick. well my point is that Disney's lost its way, becoming nothing but a hollowed out shell of its former self.
I say this now because I'm watching old disney movies for fun and they're unbelievable. You can see how utterly bored with regular cartoons disney was, so he made things interesting, created musicals more than films, simply letting the visuals be a companion to the music, which is the best way to go. There's no illusion about when and where a cut was made as every movie features cut after cut after cut, you're really watching a bunch of clips, but when they sync with the music, it feels right.
But hey ho, who cares about that now. Money money money, that's all that matters. Is it the lack of religion at the heart of this lowering of standards, I wonder? Let's face facts, disney has always catered to the fundamentalist mindset of sugary sweetness and flowers. Still disney himself said that he didn't just make movies for any one group, but for everyone, and didn't sugar coat the cruel world in them, and of course didn't water-down his genius either, going all-out with the artistic brilliance when he felt like it... such a shame things have changed so much... :(
Thanks god for pixar, keeping the original disney spirit alive. Hopefully, their films will embarrass disney so much that they get their act together and start shooting for the stars again. And I hope personally that Lohan remembers who she was when she made parent trap and stop acting like a slutty ho. there must be a sadness in girls who abandon all the dignity they once had. Like, I know porn stars think they're making a statement on feminine freedoms or whatever by taking a dick in their ass, but really all they're doing is giving up on trying to be classy and dignified, much like disney has.
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