being a man

Is hard.

Period. My coworker and i were talking about my days in the military, right. I'm like, dude honestly the mil is easier than Delta ramp, and he's like he knew a guy who was once deployed in iraq and had a powerful gun there and blew away a bunch of guys and that he hasn't seen him in a long time because he's probably dead, and I was all like, yeah the mil will do that to him...

But besides warfare, I find it difficult to feel at ease around kids. I don't want to hurt them ya know. They're so small and inexperienced etc. My greatest regret was taking aim at a kid on a message board when he was acting foolish, bad bad bad idea. So you understand my frustration. Kids will push you to your limit and beyond because they don't know any better and many grown men and women DO kick their asses because they can't take it anymore.

I try to realize that kids think they know everything even when they don't. Like my niece, she's 15 now I guess and she's a giant just like her mother, so I'm like wow you're tall, and she's like your so little... because that's how she talks with her buddies, it's war as a kid, and I felt like saying something in retaliation, then I realized she's fucking 15 and stupid, so I kept my mouth shut, but imagine living with her stupid ass all day and dealing with that... I'd be in jail by now...

I don't know what to do... and IF and I mean IF I get a wife and kids, I'm going to have to learn restraint, somehow... because one of my biggest problems with my own parents is that they make rush decisions that are wrong, and don't budge on them... can't do that...

Japan is FUCKED UP right now though, just got to say I'm saddened by the tragic events unfolding there.