the search and the battle

Im thinking about my old days at jedi.net because of some kids i met at the basketball court recently. the thing about children is that they're very stupid yet believe they know it all... like me when i to my own disgrace smugly shut down a decent thread discussing the meaning behind yoda's line "you will be, you will be" which I realize now was in reference to how luke would face his fear of losing his friends later in the movie. I was an honors student at mt saint michael, a good one, didn't waver in my studies and believed foolishly that i was right in what i was saying because i belonged to a better class of students.

I mean, it was a kid making a kid mistake, but at the same time I don't feel like I've really grown beyond that point, I still jump head first into things without taking that extra second that could be all the difference, although I do try... I'm feeling my age and because of that, have slowed down and also since I'm more into girls than kid stuff, I'm not too inclined to worry about my shortcomings in the area of intellect, but I'm personally dissatisfied with my level of forethought and accurate knowledge.

what's more I'm hesitant to engage children in any discussion because they'll do the same thing, jump head first into it fully believing they know what they're talking about. I lack the patience to deal with that so I usually end up ignoring them which is no good either. Kids are not stupid, they're just arrogant and lack perspective because they live in a little bubble away from the real world most of them...

the real world, what a funny place. Do or die, kill or be killed, get rich or die tryin.

Maybe it's just the horniness talking, fucking tired of struggling with my libido that's for sure. where was I, oh yeah, I don't know what to do with the kids man... they are insane. I only know that there's no real role models for them these days, which is going to backfire on us all since the next gen's going to be spinning around not know what to do with themselves most likely.

I'm essentially searching for the right way to do things and battling my urges to do wrong, which is what the title means.