Tough Choices 2

Damn... How unexpected and funny... I want to record this here since at the time I wasn't smart enough to take photos and video. and what does it matter anyway, what happened happened and we're pass it now. But it was biblical really... Saturday I'm scheduled to work ok, but the weather is horrible so I call out... then I get the feeling that I should try to make good on my work day anyway and hopefully get some time with garcia, I'm not against hanging out with her in any capacity... well we're like on rocky ground even after she gets some help from me in finding a person to work for her. So I'm not expecting her to be cool towards me. Nay, in fact it was the day before that we worked on the same gate and she was being oddly nicer to me than usual. Then the next day come and the weather's just shitty as all hell, and there's no easy way to do the job, we're going to have to suck up all the pain and over the course of the day as I do what I do and take care of business, she becomes far more mellow and cool, because really I think she was terrified, never experienced work conditions like that and because I was there to help her get through it, she stopped being so bitchy. I wing walked so she could go inside and get warm. I put my ass on the line to get the fligh unloaded while she stayed warm inside the belly, stuff like that. I consciously did what I could to keep her safe and she I guess knew it all along because she told me to "need to stop being so melodramatic and take care of myself" showing me she's actually got some respect for me left after all the shit we've been through.

I know what Im doing with this girl and then I don't know what I'm doing which is where I'm in the dark and need to be careful. Because she responds so well to bad boy attitudes even when she doesn't want to, so there I know how to manipulate her a bit by taking charge and manning up, she becomes very feminine/submissive and does what I ask her to do. From this I take it that I could go a step forward and really take control of her, but who am I to do that? Nobody... she's gorgeous, highly intelligent, has a higher class level than me with her associates degree, but should that stop me? One thing is for sure, the guy who's got the guts to not let "no" stop him is going to get the prize. I won't lie. I want her. She's funny, smart, and tough as a stone, goddamit, she's unbelievable and I'm not even exaggerating. She's something beyond human this girl... definitely worthy of a great man... we'll see. I have one last chance to go for it or its over for good..

darkness before the light

strange... little update. I'm not on the girl's favorite people list or anything but as I hoped by mostly leaving her be, she's stopped being a total bitch, just semi-bitch and I don't know what to do with that except accept it and move on...

right now... wow, like I theorized the way this job is, you can bust your ass all night and day but every flight is considered your first. some dude I've never seen before in my life at delta treats me like I'm new to the job even though I've been working that gate for a long while. I felt aggrivated but he soon disappeared and I didn't see him for the rest of the day and things went back to normal. It's just a real whats the word, sad part of working delta, it doesn't matter how long you work there how good you are, all that matters is when you mess it up. that's all they'll notice. You're disposable cups.

Thank GOD I'm about to get my real job. I think I'll stick with TSA for life. I like the uniforms, they look like a cool organization, at least the tsa people I've met seem like they're more classy and intelligent and not like looking to eat each other alive like on the ramp... that's what kills me really, some people that work these kinds of jobs literally get up out of their bed eat breakfast, drive to work, then look for someone to fuck with to pass the time at work. Seriously, you'll find that's the case because they're bored and they can get away with it. simple as that.

You just finish loading a flight or whatever, you're dead tired, you go to sit down and chill inside then some asshole takes all his frustrations in life out on you. it's too much...

soon though things are going to get a lot better... i feel like I'm on the bottom now but soon I'll forget why I felt so bad.