a revelation if you will...
That's why I'm never going to get no girl pregnant ever. I mean today that girl melanie rubbed up on me and it made me feel good but I'm never having no kids no matter how good looking she is or fun it would be to do a girl. I'll stick with porn my internet buddies.
When I was like thinking about marrying this chick in florida I was going to high school with, something changed in me. I wanted to get really stable job, take care of my woman, shit like that that most men end up doing, and I support that fully, but I'm not meant for that life.
Not as an artist anyway. It felt wrong to abandon my innocent childlike perspective for a more rigid world view. No way... and no fun either.
I'm the maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Zip zop zoopity bop
Shiiiiiit, that girl i work with has a kid. No doubt because she's so cute and funny and she looks white but she's spanish, one of those undercover spanish people who can enjoy white privileges.
Whatevs. I'm doing good. Permanent gov job that's easy as shit, I have to bring a book to read to pass the time, bliss... problem is the boss is trying to seem important by getting on my ass about stupid little things that don't matter. Good for you now shut up. I know tsa is begging for people to work there they're so understaffed. Half the people that are working there are overqualified for it. I'm probably one of the few who isn't beast moding with like masters degrees and shit in that place. Don't give a fuck about that...
No matter... no matter... I'm going to do things cool now. Soon enough I'll sell this crap car to some fool then I'll invest heavily in high powered electric bikes. I never liked driving much especially here in NY where there's never anywhere to park. With a bike I'm going to get soon, though it cost somewhere around 2000 dollars, I don't care because I'll be able to go to wherever I want like the movies or the supermarket and not spend a dime on gas or pay insurance. You can't beat that. just cant.
its stupid tho. shit like how the law says it needs to max out at 20 mph.... yeah sure... Anyway I'll definitely be smart about things now. I've spent A SHIT TON of money on insurance, gas, and toll, because of owning a car and not to mention recent bullshit with the police. and that cost me. Only problem I forsee is that I'll be limited in distance. We'll see..
I'll continue to upgrade and get more powerful bikes after this next one comes. And maybe I'll be able to go really far with it.
it
Whatevs. I'm doing good. Permanent gov job that's easy as shit, I have to bring a book to read to pass the time, bliss... problem is the boss is trying to seem important by getting on my ass about stupid little things that don't matter. Good for you now shut up. I know tsa is begging for people to work there they're so understaffed. Half the people that are working there are overqualified for it. I'm probably one of the few who isn't beast moding with like masters degrees and shit in that place. Don't give a fuck about that...
No matter... no matter... I'm going to do things cool now. Soon enough I'll sell this crap car to some fool then I'll invest heavily in high powered electric bikes. I never liked driving much especially here in NY where there's never anywhere to park. With a bike I'm going to get soon, though it cost somewhere around 2000 dollars, I don't care because I'll be able to go to wherever I want like the movies or the supermarket and not spend a dime on gas or pay insurance. You can't beat that. just cant.
its stupid tho. shit like how the law says it needs to max out at 20 mph.... yeah sure... Anyway I'll definitely be smart about things now. I've spent A SHIT TON of money on insurance, gas, and toll, because of owning a car and not to mention recent bullshit with the police. and that cost me. Only problem I forsee is that I'll be limited in distance. We'll see..
I'll continue to upgrade and get more powerful bikes after this next one comes. And maybe I'll be able to go really far with it.
it
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Vaticination on tomorrow
I learned around 2nd grade that I had the ability to predict the future by deducing from patterns of behavior what may likely occur again. My peers were surprised that I could accurately predict how they would feel about something, but it was no trick, I simply told them what I thought based on my own experience.
But in the grander scale of things, it's much more interesting. Like politics... If you look far enough ahead you can see where things will go for all the people scrambling about in their lives. It's kind of evil though to know beforehand how people's lives will eventually turn out.
Like for example, gays.
For a brief moment I felt sympathetic to their world views. Their arguments were ok at least, they weren't hurting anyone. Who gives a shit if they plow each other in the anus behind closed doors. But the question that remains then is what the hell's the point of your life? And you make my life harder because you create this climate of confusion within kids and people and it's almost like accusing someone of being a child molester to call someone a fag in public. People will believe it. So of course that's all kids do is label each other fags if they hate someone. All I know is this, they don't matter... No one in politics takes them seriously I'm sure because they're not going to be here in the next generation so whatever....
Then there's women and their political whining. Similar to the gays their whole uproar is pointless and ultimately they'll be begging for cock before they die. Simple. It's really sad and horrible thing to say but I'm tired of seeing women running around trying to be men. It's stupid and they should shut the fuck up about it. I mean there's going to be a massive difference between a guy at 30 and a girl at 30 no matter how many 20 something bitches are licking up degrees. You'll see...
What else...
Athiests... I'm fucking tired of your insistence that there is no GOD. I was watching Bill Maher video on youtube years ago where he states "I just don't know." is his belief. You're a cool guy and all but THAT'S NOT ATHEISM. Atheism is about KNOWING there is no GOD. Somehow.... I don't know how you can know for sure but hey that's yo thang butha... I actually was an Atheist in my religious high school days. i felt religion was stupid. But God's answered my prayers and given me so much over the years, I don't have a doubt he's real anymore.
I make no misconceptions when it comes to my intellect. Even as a black guy I don't play around and like to present myself as smart instead of doing things easier and playing dumb. Problem is everybody thinks you're gay if you're a smart nigger. Because all gay black people are nerds. But whatever. I'm into titties and ass and that's the way it should be.
uh what else... So as I said, there's a lot of games people can play knowing how fruitless a political group's agenda actually is... That's why I don't really worry much about things. I know how it's all going to go down. Now the only problem I keep having is how the shit does one get a girlfriend. I mean I work with this white girl named melanie who's awesome, but I think she's taken. But she's mad crazy and funny. I'm kinda in love with this ho. But yeah I'm not stupid to think I can get that... not even going to try.
But in the grander scale of things, it's much more interesting. Like politics... If you look far enough ahead you can see where things will go for all the people scrambling about in their lives. It's kind of evil though to know beforehand how people's lives will eventually turn out.
Like for example, gays.
For a brief moment I felt sympathetic to their world views. Their arguments were ok at least, they weren't hurting anyone. Who gives a shit if they plow each other in the anus behind closed doors. But the question that remains then is what the hell's the point of your life? And you make my life harder because you create this climate of confusion within kids and people and it's almost like accusing someone of being a child molester to call someone a fag in public. People will believe it. So of course that's all kids do is label each other fags if they hate someone. All I know is this, they don't matter... No one in politics takes them seriously I'm sure because they're not going to be here in the next generation so whatever....
Then there's women and their political whining. Similar to the gays their whole uproar is pointless and ultimately they'll be begging for cock before they die. Simple. It's really sad and horrible thing to say but I'm tired of seeing women running around trying to be men. It's stupid and they should shut the fuck up about it. I mean there's going to be a massive difference between a guy at 30 and a girl at 30 no matter how many 20 something bitches are licking up degrees. You'll see...
What else...
Athiests... I'm fucking tired of your insistence that there is no GOD. I was watching Bill Maher video on youtube years ago where he states "I just don't know." is his belief. You're a cool guy and all but THAT'S NOT ATHEISM. Atheism is about KNOWING there is no GOD. Somehow.... I don't know how you can know for sure but hey that's yo thang butha... I actually was an Atheist in my religious high school days. i felt religion was stupid. But God's answered my prayers and given me so much over the years, I don't have a doubt he's real anymore.
I make no misconceptions when it comes to my intellect. Even as a black guy I don't play around and like to present myself as smart instead of doing things easier and playing dumb. Problem is everybody thinks you're gay if you're a smart nigger. Because all gay black people are nerds. But whatever. I'm into titties and ass and that's the way it should be.
uh what else... So as I said, there's a lot of games people can play knowing how fruitless a political group's agenda actually is... That's why I don't really worry much about things. I know how it's all going to go down. Now the only problem I keep having is how the shit does one get a girlfriend. I mean I work with this white girl named melanie who's awesome, but I think she's taken. But she's mad crazy and funny. I'm kinda in love with this ho. But yeah I'm not stupid to think I can get that... not even going to try.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
jesus
That's me. I mean I know that I've been given special gifts, just don't know what to do with them.
Saw chao on the bus, and she touched me and then she smiled at me as she went on her way home. That girl is getting on my last nerve. I wish she'd stop being so flirty because I don't want to go thinking I can get a girl like her, she's perfect, like a model. I don't understand what she wants me to think about her behavior, but I guess she gets a thrill from leading a guy like me on... or something. Gosh I'd hit that so hard if I had a chance.
Been looking at the news and stuff. Things are horrible in the world as usual. I'm currently on track to definitely owning that condo and having a secure full time gov job at tsa that will sustain me for long term and I can finally be my own man.
Now should I feel guilty for wanting to enjoy my life and be a swinging bachelor or should I be out there working in soup kitchens and helping the homeless or something...
Shit, I'll tell you this. I've helped a lot of people who I could have just passed by, but I decided to do the right thing.
Moreover I've busted my ass to get where I am. Getting my HS diploma nearly killed me. I clawed and scrapped my way through the hellish world of baggage handling, which is probably WORSE than going into a warzone in iraq. I'll gladly join the military again vs working as a baggage handler. Wow get paid to exercise and basically do nothing but stand around looking intimidating. How hard.
So I've paid my price. I've taken a beating. And now I'm sitting on buckets of cash because of it. It's a gift from GOD.
Saw chao on the bus, and she touched me and then she smiled at me as she went on her way home. That girl is getting on my last nerve. I wish she'd stop being so flirty because I don't want to go thinking I can get a girl like her, she's perfect, like a model. I don't understand what she wants me to think about her behavior, but I guess she gets a thrill from leading a guy like me on... or something. Gosh I'd hit that so hard if I had a chance.
Been looking at the news and stuff. Things are horrible in the world as usual. I'm currently on track to definitely owning that condo and having a secure full time gov job at tsa that will sustain me for long term and I can finally be my own man.
Now should I feel guilty for wanting to enjoy my life and be a swinging bachelor or should I be out there working in soup kitchens and helping the homeless or something...
Shit, I'll tell you this. I've helped a lot of people who I could have just passed by, but I decided to do the right thing.
Moreover I've busted my ass to get where I am. Getting my HS diploma nearly killed me. I clawed and scrapped my way through the hellish world of baggage handling, which is probably WORSE than going into a warzone in iraq. I'll gladly join the military again vs working as a baggage handler. Wow get paid to exercise and basically do nothing but stand around looking intimidating. How hard.
So I've paid my price. I've taken a beating. And now I'm sitting on buckets of cash because of it. It's a gift from GOD.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
you dont get to win
I'm in the depths of withdrawl now from skeetin. It's something I've decided to do because it doesn't work man, skeet and feel good for a minute then go back to feeling like shit. all sorts of thoughts going through my head now, about life, about people I've met taking their anger in life out on me because they know they can get away with it.
I understand the sadistic nature of men, and to some extent don't feel too hateful towards those who have shitted on me at work because frankly I have that capacity too, it's just annoying and unnecessary, and childish shit that we could decide not to do. But I guess they're bored with their lives as they are, what do i know...
Anyway I just was thinking about girls and how i've read some bitch online say "I want the best of both worlds" I mean straight up not giving a damn about unfairness and just plainly making it clear she's an ass.
What does that mean? Simply that if working a job doesn't work out for her, she'll go back to the house wife life. Nice little easy backup plan.
Me I have no such luck. It's just odd, as a man, you bust your ass in school as you're told to do and then you get nothing but a slave labor workman life as a result, fucking around trying to earn enough to survive. Now if you're white, it's a good bet. You black, good luck to yo ass nigga.
Not that I give a shit about other black guys, hell seems like some of them like sucking white cocks, what can I say... so much for a black pres. I wantz to be flippn dem burgaz.
But thank god I have all the power over women. Goddamn cruel irony isn't it. You want to work a damn shitty job get money then have men ask you out so you can take your pick of dick. NO DICE. I ain't going to do it. I've lived this long without a drop of sex and you girls out there thinking you can just sit on your ass and get what you want easily GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A BROOM.
It's going to funny seeing them cry about where all the real men are when they reach that age when they want to get pregnant and all they have is a bunch of shitty guys to choose from.
Ah, to be me is sometimes most rewarding.
I understand the sadistic nature of men, and to some extent don't feel too hateful towards those who have shitted on me at work because frankly I have that capacity too, it's just annoying and unnecessary, and childish shit that we could decide not to do. But I guess they're bored with their lives as they are, what do i know...
Anyway I just was thinking about girls and how i've read some bitch online say "I want the best of both worlds" I mean straight up not giving a damn about unfairness and just plainly making it clear she's an ass.
What does that mean? Simply that if working a job doesn't work out for her, she'll go back to the house wife life. Nice little easy backup plan.
Me I have no such luck. It's just odd, as a man, you bust your ass in school as you're told to do and then you get nothing but a slave labor workman life as a result, fucking around trying to earn enough to survive. Now if you're white, it's a good bet. You black, good luck to yo ass nigga.
Not that I give a shit about other black guys, hell seems like some of them like sucking white cocks, what can I say... so much for a black pres. I wantz to be flippn dem burgaz.
But thank god I have all the power over women. Goddamn cruel irony isn't it. You want to work a damn shitty job get money then have men ask you out so you can take your pick of dick. NO DICE. I ain't going to do it. I've lived this long without a drop of sex and you girls out there thinking you can just sit on your ass and get what you want easily GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A BROOM.
It's going to funny seeing them cry about where all the real men are when they reach that age when they want to get pregnant and all they have is a bunch of shitty guys to choose from.
Ah, to be me is sometimes most rewarding.
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