stuff swirling in my mind right now. About all the shit that's gone down since I left elementary school. I certainly wish I used my better judgement and got a girlfriend instead of dedicating myself to my studies in hopes that that would lead anywhere.
Turns out all there is to life is girls. You're the idiot if you think otherwise.
Now the shitkickers at work are kinda making me out to be the bad guy because I'm still a virgin. Believe me, I have no desire to still be one. It's just something I can't change about myself.
I see girls every day who I'd love to rape the shit out of, but yeesh is that a hard point to get to. So yeah, it's mighty aggravating to be bullied about something I have no control over.
i'm so tired of it. I want to just whoop the ass of all these guys making ME out to be the bad guy for doing what I was taught as a child, and keeping my dick in my pants. Shut the fuck up. I am probably going to end up killing one of these dumbasses if they don't. They think it's funny, chastise you for being girlfriendless, then insist you get married, or even imply that even if you get a girlfriend you'll be a bad parent. Sociopathic bastards really. They're either psycologically incapable of feeling emotions or they're enjoying seeing me suffer. I don't know... ultimately I'll have no choice but to kill them if they take it too far.
That's how I'll roll. I'm not that kind of guy who'll just kill you for fun, no, but I don't like gayness. That's how I define it. If I feel like some dude is practically trying to grab my dick and put it in his ass, I'll kill him.
That's how a lot of the bullying is. It's a guy who just wants to be near you and talk to yu and touch you. All my life I've found that repulsive. yet it's how some dudes are. I get it, but you're fucking with the wrong guy if you think you can do that gay shit and not get hurt.
wrong motherfucking guy
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
to care or not to care
Gotta say, if nothing else, this life I've lived was educational. Learned a lot about the way some people think... for example, alright, I've been coming into awareness of politics. Which is extremely complex stuff... some people love to debate. I suppose it's their whole damn life, or something. But I go online one day while in college and a whole damn war starts up over superman's underwear size. There are people in this world who will not let something like that go, and the only way to bring about peace is to make them disappear. I no longer have much reservations against killing in light of discovering that about some people.
Then there's some dudes who are to me just crazy. They want to start trouble, it's something to do...
They CARE deeply about creating friction, stirring the pot. Me, I care about the things that I like, movies, cartoons etc. But not THAT MUCH... ;O wow, doesn't make me a coward for not wanting to go toe to toe with you on every aspect of batman, thanks... Keep whipping those 12 year old's asses though ya douche.
No, I care about girls, ass, titties, pussy. Problem is, some guys are out to use that as a sign of weakness... that I'm not smart enough to win a debate on gay rights or whatever, and shouldn't offer up an opinion.
heh, go fuck your boyfriend and enjoy it. I don't give a fuck And I never will.
Then there's some dudes who are to me just crazy. They want to start trouble, it's something to do...
They CARE deeply about creating friction, stirring the pot. Me, I care about the things that I like, movies, cartoons etc. But not THAT MUCH... ;O wow, doesn't make me a coward for not wanting to go toe to toe with you on every aspect of batman, thanks... Keep whipping those 12 year old's asses though ya douche.
No, I care about girls, ass, titties, pussy. Problem is, some guys are out to use that as a sign of weakness... that I'm not smart enough to win a debate on gay rights or whatever, and shouldn't offer up an opinion.
heh, go fuck your boyfriend and enjoy it. I don't give a fuck And I never will.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
shiiiiiit
got an 85 on the customs exam. so I'm in. FUCK YOU TSA, gonna make the big bucks now bitch. I'll be like a cop now I guess... not going to become an a-hole about it though, I'm just another guy doing a job he hates. Money money money, that's all it is...
What was I thinking about. I don't get it. As kids girls are so different, not like the crazy whores they become. I mean I love that a lot of girls are very sexual these days and just whip out the tits and shit online and you can see them doing all sorts of stuff, but it's awkward because I didn't grow up thinking they'd turn out like that. Girls were smart, serious, often boyish as kids. You dare not hit a girl, but other than that they were just people. Now... shit, it's hard to figure out why they all of a sudden become sluts and are seemingly proud of it. I'm not going to attempt to understand it... it is what it is.
Childhood = a lie. It's not going to make a damn difference later. All those dreams you have, the way the world seems from that age, no way. All the world is is a bunch of people struggling to figure out how to deal with their animalistic urges.
What was I thinking about. I don't get it. As kids girls are so different, not like the crazy whores they become. I mean I love that a lot of girls are very sexual these days and just whip out the tits and shit online and you can see them doing all sorts of stuff, but it's awkward because I didn't grow up thinking they'd turn out like that. Girls were smart, serious, often boyish as kids. You dare not hit a girl, but other than that they were just people. Now... shit, it's hard to figure out why they all of a sudden become sluts and are seemingly proud of it. I'm not going to attempt to understand it... it is what it is.
Childhood = a lie. It's not going to make a damn difference later. All those dreams you have, the way the world seems from that age, no way. All the world is is a bunch of people struggling to figure out how to deal with their animalistic urges.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Customs
Took the exam for customs and border protection... :/ I don't know... I feel like I'm not THAT stupid that I couldn't handle a more high level job than tsa, which is what it is, little security job to fuck around with while going after a degree or whatever more advanced thing you may be doing.
But boy was that test tough. I get that they want to weed out people who aren't intelligent enough to be amongst them... sure, but come on.... come on... I've seen what customs does, they're barely doing more than what we do at tsa, they just have guns, come on... I don't know really, but it definitely wasn't a fair thing to me anyway to have the test be that hard. And it wasn't just the difficulty level, it was that they gave us no time to do it.... It's got to be a joke test, to see if you really want to be in or not or something. Just like the asvab basically was just something to trick you into cracking open a book and studying something instead of being mentally lazy.
shit wasn't fun though. Haven't had to push my mind that hard in a while. Wonder who writes these damn tests, somebody out there is getting paid shitloads to do it, no doubt. I think it functions like tests given to kids do, they just want to identify if some super genius is in the room, so they can scoot him off to MIT or something like that... that's it. Damn sure I'm not going to be that guy, but that's how the whole thing works... at least here in america. We're very good at finding people at all levels who are super smart, so as not to miss them like in other countries where they're not giving a shit about people at a lower level. That's counter productive since you can have a super genius sweeping floors for the rest of his life... makes no sense.
Shit
But boy was that test tough. I get that they want to weed out people who aren't intelligent enough to be amongst them... sure, but come on.... come on... I've seen what customs does, they're barely doing more than what we do at tsa, they just have guns, come on... I don't know really, but it definitely wasn't a fair thing to me anyway to have the test be that hard. And it wasn't just the difficulty level, it was that they gave us no time to do it.... It's got to be a joke test, to see if you really want to be in or not or something. Just like the asvab basically was just something to trick you into cracking open a book and studying something instead of being mentally lazy.
shit wasn't fun though. Haven't had to push my mind that hard in a while. Wonder who writes these damn tests, somebody out there is getting paid shitloads to do it, no doubt. I think it functions like tests given to kids do, they just want to identify if some super genius is in the room, so they can scoot him off to MIT or something like that... that's it. Damn sure I'm not going to be that guy, but that's how the whole thing works... at least here in america. We're very good at finding people at all levels who are super smart, so as not to miss them like in other countries where they're not giving a shit about people at a lower level. That's counter productive since you can have a super genius sweeping floors for the rest of his life... makes no sense.
Shit
Saturday, June 2, 2012
solving the problem of teenage angst
Get them laid.
Really how fucking stupid is this world. I was watching some law and order episodes recently concerning the issue of teenagers and sexuality, which is to this day widely debated. A whole court room of grown men and women arguing about why a kid would rape another kid, whether it was too much sex on tv or sexual exploration or shit. He's horny. He's curious about why his body is changing.
And today I'm thinking about how i acted and kinda still do. It's sexual frustration that's the culprit. These guys for the most part like I was, are left up to the wind and blue sky about how to deal with their sexuality. They of course go craaaaaaazy because of it and I can only surmise that this amuses rich white people waiting to have a reason to lock up all these kids.
I've met these assholes, like garcia, they're sociopaths. They WANT to see the world burn, for fun. Those people exist and they need to be shut the fuck up and let us regular normal people do our thang.
Really what it comes down to is that most people don't "grow up" until they understand the responsibility of parenthood. I can't imagine why it is then that people want to keep kids in the dark about about one day becoming parents themselves. Then as in my case, throw them to the wolves if they don't coform and get married and all that shit. How retarded.
It's corporate isn't it. Keeping young adults "kids" for longer increases profits. That's what's going on. So sad...
Really how fucking stupid is this world. I was watching some law and order episodes recently concerning the issue of teenagers and sexuality, which is to this day widely debated. A whole court room of grown men and women arguing about why a kid would rape another kid, whether it was too much sex on tv or sexual exploration or shit. He's horny. He's curious about why his body is changing.
And today I'm thinking about how i acted and kinda still do. It's sexual frustration that's the culprit. These guys for the most part like I was, are left up to the wind and blue sky about how to deal with their sexuality. They of course go craaaaaaazy because of it and I can only surmise that this amuses rich white people waiting to have a reason to lock up all these kids.
I've met these assholes, like garcia, they're sociopaths. They WANT to see the world burn, for fun. Those people exist and they need to be shut the fuck up and let us regular normal people do our thang.
Really what it comes down to is that most people don't "grow up" until they understand the responsibility of parenthood. I can't imagine why it is then that people want to keep kids in the dark about about one day becoming parents themselves. Then as in my case, throw them to the wolves if they don't coform and get married and all that shit. How retarded.
It's corporate isn't it. Keeping young adults "kids" for longer increases profits. That's what's going on. So sad...
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