updates

All I got to really say is that I wish I discovered this stuff earlier. I've been having this problem since I was 19. That's 7 years I've had to endure this tension headache. Turns out I simply was deprived of a vital nutrient for my brain. All the things I could have done, taken away from me because of my impaired mind. How the fuck do people expect kids to figure this stuff out once they leave for college. I can get a fucking PHD if I want to now, without the nagging brain pain.

Just don't care for one. But yeah, it's good to be back to normal for once. I cannot stress enough how important it is for guys my age to get the right vitamins and supplements in their diet and don't go crazy or anything. Don't take no fucking antidepressants. You're not depressed, you're low on choline in your fucking brain.

I don't care about the past anymore either. I always wake up, go about my day, try to resist the urge to masturbate, and I'd always get what's called "anxiety attacks" I'd remember bad times etc. I'd plow through the bad memories but ultimately the only way to truly shut them up was to blow a load. and I did.

But I knew how false a sensation getting an orgasm was, since I'd be back to the same old feeling only moments after.

Question now is, what to do with my new lease on life. I don't know... I'm just so mad that people must have really known how to treat my illness all this time, but just didn't tell me. That's unbelievable. And seriously backwards. Why not just kill me instead of watch me go day to day constantly in pain. I want my job back at tsa now that's for sure. I really quit not because of the staff fucking with me, no, I was getting paid A SHIT TON of money to do nothing all day. They can spit in my face for all I care. I quit because I was stressed out too much by my headache. And now it's mostly gone. I feel better than I have in years. And I'm unemployed. I would be doing so well at tsa if I knew about this choline stuff....

 Don't know... just gonna try getting a regular ass job somewhere, man. I can handle any job now that I feel better. That's all that matters.