What am I gonna buy

I estimate I'll be earning a couple thousand dollars every two weeks once I get off my ass and start working.

Gonna get some stuff for the static shock project and of course buy new toys for myself. I work hard for my money and I spend hard. Always have, always will.

Gonna get some new camera equipment. Best camera Sony makes, the Rx-100 as far as I know... Then we start making movies. The camera I got is just a little toy next to that beast. Shit, but when you're poor your options are limited Might actually spring for a really high end professional cam corder.

Let me just say this for the record. It's so sad that I'm 30 years old and hoping to scrap together enough money to buy a camera some white kids get and toss in the trash on a weekly basis.

One thing I've glanced from my youtube travels is the white world. And they got all the good shit first... I mean it's like, just all I see when I look up camera test videos is some white kid testing out some freaking professional camera equipment I could never have gotten at that age. What the hell?

I did what I could as a kid, I just basically played videogames, watched movies, and drew comics. Never had money to get cool stuff so I didn't. And of course didn't have a job back then. Now I will be pulling down massive amounts of money so my life will finally get interesting.

It's aggravating of course, the constant fear and apprehension I often encounter out there as a black male. It's like, yeah you live your life feeling restricted and like everybody is watching you. I prettymuch never I guess appreciated that I looked like a hispanic kid when I was younger. Being that way meant that I didn't have to belong to the black population full steam ahead. But now I do, it's part of getting older, you just lose your youthful looks and shit.

I don't know about whether to care or not. Just want to finish my projects I got and of course make movies the way I know how. Stick to the plan, ignore the politics, I say.

Just, I hate jobs, hate working, hate feeling like I got to be in school all over again. Doesn't life branch out beyond that shit at some point???

Or what?