Took the day off

Not wanting to further injure myself. I don't know why but my shit is messed up recently. not feeling strong... need time to recuperate...

It's a combination of factors that are at play. Too cold. My commute to work demands I be in the cold for a while, subway is a toilet bowl for homeless people so of course you're getting bombarded by horrific shit down there... bad bad bad, just lost an hour due to dst shit too so that screwed me up. And I'm down for toughing things out and taking a challenge, but this time it's different. I nearly collapsed yesterday at work... and I've passed out from exhaustion before... I still have the scar from when I bumped my head. You have to understand when you pass out, your brain turns OFF, you will not feel any pain when you go crashing down to the floor and injure yourself....

So I'm terrified of that happening again. I'm an old man now and just have to admit I can't take risks like I used to...

As for current events.... I don't give a fuck... I do, but then I honestly don't. I guess there's still bullshit going on about Michael Jackson and stuff, who cares? Lori Laughlin's gone crazy or something, who gives a shit... Fucker Carlson is being attacked because he's Fucker Carlson... Who? Do I have to care about this shit?

I was going to go on a long rant about how we're the age of false sincerity these days... People sitting at their computers are being pathetic and sad and creating and stirring up controversy and sensationalism for their own little apparently psychologically unbalanced reasons... spending hours, years, whatever being the most badass keyboard warrior on earth.

Get up and deal with the real world, you sorry sacks of garbage... Turn the computer off. I lived on my computer as a kid and boy was that a mistake, sad to see that generation I come from has gone full jonny quest and decided they'll play it safe and live their lives online in questworld.

Pussy ass motherfuckers.

Not saying I like the experiences I've been through in real life, the fights, the prison, the rejection from girls, the military experience, but at least I've done shit, been in life and have that experience vs living in a box. I know shit about life, I'm not afraid of going out in the world because I know how it works, I've seen it the daily grind of the world. It's not something foreign or alien to me.

I can make paper... I don't need this job, and I don't feel slave to it... I can make probably more than I'm making now if I do certain things, i just really want to become a musician. I don't want much else.

But yeah, the whole false sincerity thing is driving me nuts sometimes... When it shouldn't.... I've been using the internet for damn near 20 years and I'm not surprised by how there are a bunch of little cults and mobs forming on it and zealous hyperbolic attitudes swirling around in it. Just use it for porn and tech news and fuck everything else.... damn right...

I'm gonna try to not blog as much too since I don't really see the point anymore... freakin nobody cares what I'm saying... that's all.