Sunday, June 16, 2019

All Flat

My little review of the new All That...

I'm not going to be nice. I'm not going to be mr. kid friendly so if you don't want to read honest thoughts then fine go read the safe studio approved comments or reviews which is sadly what the net has degenerated into, corporate sycophants and their politics back and forth.

Watched it. I'm an All That maniac, was literally there watching the show in all its ups downs, side ways, weird and mediocre and great comedy bits.

Well I'm 33 years old now, honestly it's kinda like watching some damn nick jr show or something at this point, i'm gonna say they're not aiming for me. But I did always kinda feel like All That catered to all ages to some extent. It wasn't insulting to your intelligence. Nothing much on Nick was back in its golden era. I detested anything on the network that was purely stupid and didn't try to be good in any way.

And All That was a ground breaking comedy show. It was primarily Black and Latino inspired. I gravitated towards that because I was what they were representing funny urban hip 90s comedy... so it fit my whole personality really... It didn't feel white. It had hip hop acts, was called "all that" black slang, and the intro was practically a rap video.... Nick had the balls to do black inspired tv shows back then and it worked.

This one is not black enough. It's not... It's freakin, waaaaay too safe and the kids are too damn young. It's like watching a damn faggy disney show... I liked that some of original all that cast was kinda attractive and hot and were more mature. Freakin go watch the show, they were teens and were pretty far beyond puberty not little children. I don't care to watch children doing anything for any length of time. And the greatest joke of the original All that was that, they took the kids and made them ACT like adults, no one generally acted like kids though they were kids. The show had some kind of internal disdain of childhood or something. It didn't mind taking more mature routes with its bits.

I'm torn. I want this to be good, but it's tired. The show's not what it was and not what it should be which is a massively more contemporary version. Acknowledging that time has passed, that we're in a technologically advanced era. Maybe people don't even watch tv anymore. They can't... it's what it is. It's a 90s show's corpse being dragged back to life in 2019. It's not fitting and it's not there yet. Maybe it will be... All I know is that All That had a weirdness to it that felt like it came from the cast, not that the cast was normal and then tossed into a blender of weirdness. Kel still has it, Lori, Josh. They are freaks. They're freaks like ME. The whole original All That cast before it becamse tame and normal was full of freak actors who had some screws loose and that's what made it work... These new babies. They're f'n babies. They know nothing about life yet and are still too young. They have not had their spirits crushed and metelle tested by life yet, I don't see them in the same vein as the original tough sobs that really were talented comedians working very very hard on that show.

Gonna have to step it up. Not impressed...

Like nothing caught me and made me say WOW... that's not All That. That's not All That. If the show doesn't make you say WOOOOOOOOW, then it's just drake and josh or some stupid mediocre shit like that... Nothing against the kids, lovely, but yeah its not their fault, they're doing the best they can and they're little and don't know anything.

Would have preferred the game shakers girls. They were Nick Kids... and by now they're older and have earned their stripes. Surprised they were not asked to be on this show, they were the new All That to me the way they acted. Odd decision... well that's all..

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