ate the whole plate

Mutha fn tired as hell cuz oxygen levels were so low in this room. One thing I learned the hard way, you don't properly ventilate your room, you'll slowly die really...

so I turned the fan up and although it's cold as f it's actually possible to breathe...

So here we stand, I now have my colors in place for the basic stuff. So looking at the costumes used in the movie, quite elaborately detailed. Makes doing this more of a task but I'll figure something out. I try to hold back my ocdness and not over-work on something to get to perfection, and it does bother me if it doesn't work right and I obsess over it, it's hard to control that but I honestly have no desire to get the minute details exact, no..

this will take a bit longer than anticapated, partially cuz Im lazy but also cuz I am learning as I go and have no idea exactly what I'm doing... I can hang with paint and gimp all day only programs I've got a grip on, not sketchbook and not tablet art though I can see why a lot of people love it. It's a massive tool box of potential without needing to spend on art supplies.

too tired

     

so I've gotten this far after a very long battle with myself to struggle starring at this blazing monitor all day, not something I like much, no.

Set myself up to get to the finish line tomorrow and fully finish the coloring. Whether I'll go forward and polish it and add glitz and gleam, neither here nor there, can't think about that till I'm looking at a colored in image.

Long day

It's about will power at this point. I am not into doing this but will struggle with the self motivation factor until it is finished I suppose...

     

For me this is taking so long not just cuz of lack of motivation... I'm learning as I go to figure out how to do this stuff. Never done coloring on multiple layers. Why approach it that way you might wonder? I do want to have some freedom to play with things when I start the shadow and highlights part, maybe paint over the black lines in parts, maybe do a complete change of color in one part or add texture patterns to the clothing which of course would be impossible without everything being transparent. It's been a lot of fail and figuring out what works for the last few hours and now I'm spent, but I can start seeing the finish line here and do intend to finish. Oh and above all else, I have to have layers since I want to have complete control over the background. That's the real point of it all. I want to just draw in anything without having to work around what's in front like I usually do. I mean I'm used to it, but it'd be nice to just freely throw in a background without having to measure how it'll impact the main stuff on the page... that I've never done....

Didn't win

Didn't expect to honestly. Seeing the winners' vids and kinda suspect they got thousands of votes. Who are these people? The vids were mediocre stuff one of which didn't meet the rules so how did that win... No females either so that's kinda sad, should have made it have a bit of an affirmative action slant to it to be more inclusive... but eh, I did get one vote. Somebody liked my vid. And I give that person a huge thanks. It'd really suck to go down without a vote and be one of those vids sitting there at 0....

lots of drama in the last few days for me, and I'll keep it to myself. I mean I want to express my distress but yanno, I've got a lot to express, probably be going on and on about all of it... Fuck that right... live in the moment, don't worry, all going to f'n die anyway... grab a beautiful woman and enjoy this goddamn little life before it's over... That's all I'm thinking... or trying to think...

Going to lay out what I hope can go down tomorrow and the next day...

Get the rest of the coloring completed... Dead eye focus on that stuff, maybe an occasional battlefront match in between considering they've yet again claimed to have fixed the many bugs in that clusterfuck of a game. It's soul crushing to dedicate all your time to one task. Sad but true. I'm only human afterall...

Then when it's over, get back to the damn piano lessons and try to work that out. I don't know, just something I think I should do.... I think often these days about wtf am I going to do to get by without having to go be some damn wage slave negro in the plantations out there, that seems like my only strategy in the end... I'm just being honest. I get it now. It's like not hard to see the way things are.

One positive note though. I've been losing weight like crazy for some reason beyond my unerstanding so I've slimmed down a lot more than I would have imagined. It's been interesting. I've always been skinny it's just the crappy food that's held my potential to be myself back. Nice to see me looking like me again.

Messed around a bit

Lots of experimentation tonight as I intended it to be. I'm getting a better handle on sketchbook pro... certainly a great program to just knock out some quick cool sketches and drawings, so much possibilities to just marathon out a whole comic if you want without the typical stack of papers and such. With better more responsive less glitchy screen tech, yeah I'd say paper's obsolete...

Got a few variations on the bullet poster I came up with:

 

The first one being the default, then I looked up clip masking on youtube and decided to create a stencil art kinda thing to it with smudges to add that wavy look.... Then played with the hue to make the colors whatever I wanted, so many possibilities with this program so cool. But yeah the bullet gets kinda lost in the last one... but I sitll like it most...

Oh well, on to work tomorrow then back to finishing these things. I'm on target for end of the month, but it will be a lot of work and crap, oh boy what joy.

Terminator to see or not to see

Coming out next week. I'm reading the reviews and stuff, all over the map, some say it's the bomb others its ho hum to outright bad... so a lot of weird disagreement from the net.

Will the public care about the things nitpicky fans care about, nope. I mean movie studios aren't stupid. They know people will flock to anything that looks like a decent diversion from life for 2 hours... Transformers proves that, as do many outright crap movies aiming for the bottom.

I gotta say maybe that's all one can expect from this, a big honking final hoorah for terminator and nothing more.

It's tough to read a review saying oh they didn't like the new storyline or that there's something off with arnolds terminator or it's just the same old tired plot retold, as if well we haven't seen this all before.

I went to go see T3 in theaters when it came out. I followed the films development on the official website. I've been going to these sequels since that one and the movie that broke my interest in more is Genysis. I was ok with these things until then. That film was just a farce. And I'm down with bad sequels that are weird. Probably some of my fav films, the messy weird sequel to superman batman or rocky or tmnt or robocop. I lived and breathed bad sequels in the 90s, mostly all we ever got... so I enjoy exploring awkward other dimension versions of the original story. But Genysis broke me, someone so forgiving of garbage...

And what gets to me is that they're selling this film with just as much enthusiasm as they sold Genysis. There's no difference. So what makes you think I'm going to go take the bait again?

I can't stand by this stuff. Arnold going back and playing terminator when he's now too old to do so and should have evolved as an actor by now. Trying to twist and bend terminator to fit an aging actor is just ludicrous and seems as deranged and possibly mentally unstable as is the natural decline in old age... it's like, is that what we're going to be doing, taking aging actors and tossing them around in movies struggling to portray their old characters. Not what I'm wanting to see, sorry.

Like Mark Hamill's figured it out by now. He's playing characters that are older, not struggling to fit back into Luke or Joker anymore, it's not going to happen. And I have to say he's doing fine. His voice has aged but his experience, brilliant acting has only gotten better, and he owns his new role in ways that are comparable to Luke and Joker, still killing it...

Sad fact of life, you can't go back. Time is a one way street in this universe. But at least in Arnold's case he legit has a character ready to be seen as an older version and we'd all be down for it... why a King Conan movie is still not going forward is just bonkers...

Anyway, I'm getting off track. It's not going to stop hungry nostalgic studio execs looking to cash in on the sequel craze. If there's a dollar to be made re-engineering an old franchise for today they'll damn well do it whether it'll be looked favorably upon or not.

I'm just not ready. I had so much faith in Genysis. To sit there, to literally pay for my ticket go sit there and have the movie take a giant dump on my face, I can't feel up to supporting another one. No, and Arnold may laugh in his interviews and feel like he's too big a name to care, but you aren't doing the franchise any favors by not saying no to these awful scripts that don't work. He's partially to blame and proven to not give a crap about quality just wants to say I'll be back and promote himself. A shame but he's all about capitalizing on his fame more than anything else these days. Not hungry to prove anything...

And yeah, man I want this movie to be good. I've dreamed of a proper well done sequel to T2 since seeing that movie on VHS after a trip to blockbuster or wherever I got it from. It was like witnessing true greatness stumbling upon it. Then I learned of T1 and so on and fell in love with the franchise. Even have some fondness for T3 as like I said, I don't have a problem with bad sequels and find them interesting in an alternate dimension sense and the movie did try, it wasn't horrible. And it was more of a celebration of the franchise in the end, it wasn't meant to be taken as a proper T3, more like a 'why not' movie. Sadly it kick started the snowball of 'screw it' sequels to classic movies that we're stuck in today... It prettymuch got the trend started.

It's tough to follow up T2 but not impossible. I envisioned way back a possible prequel perhaps about the future war time, exploring the time travel device, fighting skynet directly like in battle across time and yes the f'n tiger handheld game. I played to the final boss on that thing, it was skynet you fight! It was glorious.

But yeah, I mean I have nothing left but scattered old memories but I remember really wanting a star-wars level thing with regards to terminator, running around inside of big epic skynet facilities searching for the time machine, whatever the heck... Infinite possibilities with terminator so I'll never think it's ever done with T2. Arnold left an arm in the mill, whether that was an oversight by Cameron or was left there to leave a door open for T3, it's canon and could have been the reason judgement day was delayed not avoided but the film makers on t3 didn't pay attention. Basing skynet on patents that dyson just happened to oopsie forget about, oh right, that works way better, jesus lord.

Yeah this stuff gets to me. Seeing Terminator being fumbled like a amateaur juggler playing around is not fun to do and I can't emotionally invest in yet another failure, and may very well refuse to go see this...

I'm kinda done with it...

Outlaw Johnny Black Audition

Finished and uploaded.

Before doing it, I was kinda hoping to honestly get the part and get my weird dream started of going into hollywood world and making real films instead of my nonsense, oh, boy was my head way in the clouds and not in reality. I said it didn't I, just a post below, acting is hard. Boy was I correct. I failed time and again to make a good performance. I'd forgotten how much of a mental juggle acting is. You have to be in control of every bit of your body's movement and your face expressions, everything...

It's only when you stop trying to act that it looks convincing at all. So true.

Oh well, I did what I know how to do and that's make funny silly stuff. All the super serious auditions, I'm not down with that. Black Dynamite is a parody, this is a parody, why play it up as a drama, why? One dude talking about how he murdered his family in an audition, what are you smoking? Maybe he's not acting?

here's the link to the vid.
 https://vimeo.com/368822205

I have no doubt that a lot of fraud will take place and people who want votes will likely create bots to inflate their votes or just get support from some group they know willing to do it for a price, some wack stuff getting high votes for some reason, so this contest will likely come down to who's able to rig it best. Oh well.

I didn't want to go down without trying. that's all. I'll take a shot in the dark and miss, no fear from me there.

None of my dialogue I wrote really made it in except for my often used phrase "grease the wheels" I made that up to motivate myself at work when I did ramp ops, just some stupid alternative to get er dun.

that's allll folks