Didn't win

Didn't expect to honestly. Seeing the winners' vids and kinda suspect they got thousands of votes. Who are these people? The vids were mediocre stuff one of which didn't meet the rules so how did that win... No females either so that's kinda sad, should have made it have a bit of an affirmative action slant to it to be more inclusive... but eh, I did get one vote. Somebody liked my vid. And I give that person a huge thanks. It'd really suck to go down without a vote and be one of those vids sitting there at 0....

lots of drama in the last few days for me, and I'll keep it to myself. I mean I want to express my distress but yanno, I've got a lot to express, probably be going on and on about all of it... Fuck that right... live in the moment, don't worry, all going to f'n die anyway... grab a beautiful woman and enjoy this goddamn little life before it's over... That's all I'm thinking... or trying to think...

Going to lay out what I hope can go down tomorrow and the next day...

Get the rest of the coloring completed... Dead eye focus on that stuff, maybe an occasional battlefront match in between considering they've yet again claimed to have fixed the many bugs in that clusterfuck of a game. It's soul crushing to dedicate all your time to one task. Sad but true. I'm only human afterall...

Then when it's over, get back to the damn piano lessons and try to work that out. I don't know, just something I think I should do.... I think often these days about wtf am I going to do to get by without having to go be some damn wage slave negro in the plantations out there, that seems like my only strategy in the end... I'm just being honest. I get it now. It's like not hard to see the way things are.

One positive note though. I've been losing weight like crazy for some reason beyond my unerstanding so I've slimmed down a lot more than I would have imagined. It's been interesting. I've always been skinny it's just the crappy food that's held my potential to be myself back. Nice to see me looking like me again.