stars at night oh so bright

Garcia garcia garcia, what am I ever going to do with you my dear... so ok, she hates me, but we were forced to work together last sunday... I'm in total military mode, not going to get personal, just get the job done and bounce. the day goes by like that, she doesn't even want to talk to me, just makes non-verbal hand gestures to respond to anything I say... I get the messsage.... then as time goes on, we're forced to work side by side, and despite her efforts to block me from getting through to her, we inevitably communicate and to my surprise I make her smile with a sly remark. From this point forward and after seeing how effective I am at the job, even teaching her how to use the light switch in a 737, she lowers the bitch shield and though still not totally open up to me, she's talking to me asking me questions like what time it is... stuff she wouldn't do before... I felt so good about how things went... it's like when a cat starts trusting you and feeling relaxed around you...

then all of it went to hell. Probably for the first time ever she nearly died doing the job. My friend driving a tug goes in reverse by accident and if she was in between the carts like she'd been mere seconds before, she would have been crushed. Forget all the good vibes and friendliness, she was enraged after that and verbally assaulted me afterwards when I was displaying my exhaustion from lifting so much, she screams at me to get to work or get out of the way... sigh...

I don't know what to do... This is how it is... I've from the start shown nothing but concern for her safety even questioning why she works here and then expressing my own fears of being killed on the job to her. So she KNOWS I know death is around every turn here, so maybe that's why she decided to belittle me after she was nearly killed, I don't know... she wants to make it clear she's not afraid to work this job despite her size and gender, but really who cares so much that you have to prove that... no one wants this job, it's just quick money and freedom to fly. there's no shame in hating it.

And on top of that, I just don't know if I can get over her and move on ya know... she's so strange with the way she seems to indicate she's willing to get courted etc. so I don't know how to approach anything. she's just so hot, that's the problem. If she was an average person, I wouldn't think so much about it... I guess that's part of her game, oh I'm so hot and stuff yet I work this crappy job, look at how badass I am. Now the game is serious, and whatever attention whoring she was doing has backfired and she's now having to make a choice of whether she's in this for the long run or just for the attention because it's going to get worse, not better as winter approaches, and she can't handle anything but ramp ops.

I'll take the approach of giving her space. I know after I nearly got killed, I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay working there, it was hard to go back into the shit knowing it could be over, for real, and you couldn't do anything about it... you want to go get some pussy at least before dying, ya know... you don't feel safe... this kind of job, after doing it for months without getting hurt you feel special like you have divine protection while others are the ones who are the regular people, then one day you're proven completely wrong... she's already been down that road though... in fact it's probably one of the reasons she doesn't like me, I'm a constant reminder to her of when she put her foot in her mouth. she knows I like her though, I think... so it's not like I'm a threat to her. but every guy likes her there... what she wants to have between us is competition, friction, something interesting...

Well all this shit going on at work... it's certainly not boring...