What to think about people...

Honestly I don't want to think about people. I don't personally give a damn about other people, but I have to say something about how like retarded people are half the time once you get out of childhood years...

It's like, to me, damn son. You gotta fucking have a screw loose to try to make sense of people in this world and the way they behave, I guarantee you that.

Like I said before... I get the feeling a lot of the people who act all tough really aren't. I've been through some shit and lived to tell the tale. To suddenly have people talking shit to me and acting like I'm a complete little ant who can't take a punch, is just, wow. I get it, "adult" meaning nobody has to respect you unless you're a white person, got it. But are you serious? I've been through a lot of shit that any weaker person would have crumpled under, but no, I'm not mr. weakness. I've gone through so much hell and decided to take the pain, but NOW all of a sudden because some random mr. tough ass says so, I'm a little girly man who can't handle this world.

Not that I care. That's the thing. I don't understand why it's so important for someone to step on another person so badly to make themselves feel bigger. That's kindergarten bullshit to me.

But no, this whole world is actually a GIANT Kindergarten. there is NO adulthood. Sad to say... really fucking sad to say. You may THINK in your head oh, people grow up, but no. Apparently not...

I mean I'm not surprised. Why should someone change because they get older, what's the point...

But yeah the thing that throws me off is that you'll get bullied like a kid by someone in their like 50s or some shit like that. And to me it's like, what the hell? you're too old to be acting like that. I mean there's no golden goose to continuing to act like a kid at that fucking age in my mind...

But no, to any kids who may be reading, get ready for this shit. People do whatever the fuck they want there's no "adulthood" that you think there is.

On that note, got started thinking about Catcher in the Rye. One huge issue I have with school is that not only is it a bunch of running around to learn things you won't ever use at all. Haven't done one quadratic equation since starting this job, but hey at least I learned it? Yay?

So Catcher in the Rye is about a wealthy white kid with problems. I'm black, I had to read that book in high school like most of us had to. Looking back, I should have thrown that book at my white teacher's face. You serious? You're giving a black kid a book about some rich white kid crying about how hard his life is?

You got to be kidding me... There are people with serious health problems out there. There are people born with dwarfism, a million different terrible conditions that they have no choice but to live with, but this rich white kid has it so tough or some bullshit. I mean I had to sit there and figure out this kid's life or whatever and honestly I didn't get good grades on that assignment because I couldn't for the life of me give a shit about what I was reading. It's a popular book to a culture and people I'm not a part of, that's all there is to it... I don't have anything to do with what rich white people's problems are. Don't give me a book about it. It means nothing to me.

Anyway yeah it's hard for me to make sense of my "adult" life now. It's like why do people like to start shit as adults? It's so petty isn't it? Unless you actually sock me in the face, calling me names doesn't bother me... I've taken actual physical abuse from people, how do you possibly think, being "mean" to me and insulting me makes a dent? The reason is because these people have never had a fist in their face, not once. They've gone along in life never knowing a beat down, not once. So they think talking shit to somebody will matter... But I can assure you it doesn't. I wonder how many people who have big mouths have actually gotten their hands dirty and fought someone in the streets. I've done it. Have you? Then you mean nothing to me.

And I'm talking to YOU white people... I'm not concerned with black assholes. Whatever. But when there's a white guy talking shit like he's actually gotten down and dirty and fought another man, it's absolutely annoying. I have all the respect in the world for another man who's had his ass kicked and realized if he wants to survive in this world he's going to have to hit the gym. Then we can talk, but a white guy who's had his life handed to him on a silver platter, then goes around shitting on everyone like he's the shit, forget it. Prove you live on earth with the rest of us first and then we're on the same page.