Like I said, I've been around a long time on the web and I've seen Everything that happened to the tech tv network. I saw EVERYTHING. It's truly an epic story that one day they may make a tv-movie about. The decline of tech tv, that'd be a good fucking movie to watch. Nobody really cares but it's truly dramatic how such a perfectly fine channel for tech nuts suddenly fell apart and became a pile of dog shit.
What is my emo ass whining about today. I don't know, never really got out much but I do more as I go to work at the airport and fucking hell is harlem the pits or what. Everyday, all I see is old black guys flopping around like retards for fucks sake...
I am a mulatto, part white, part some other shit. And it is what it is. The thing is, that I don't and have never given a damn about being part white in the least. It's NEVER been a thought in my head, about it being a good thing or a bad thing, but yeah fucking NOT being black is all good in the hood.
I guess that was the idea, lets not make blacks feel too excluded from the white society. But they are. It's all up in my face whenever I go out, nobody gives a shit about black people...
Which makes my situation a complicated one indeed. Here I stand, this guy who's nothing too special, yet I represent to white people everything they know black people want most, to turn white. So yeah, it's a tough existence to accept. Really tough...
They must think I'm the result of some really dumbass black dude raping a white girl or something like that and that must piss them off to no end...
Not quite. I'm born from two blacks who both have some white genetics and therefore I inherited white genes from both of my parents. And furthermore, it's my grandmother who is truly half white, that's where it really comes from. Imagine my grandmother was Mariah Carey and you'll understand what I'm talking about...
Now what's the quality of my personality is the real question. Am I your typical dumb fuck black guy you get all day or am I something more than that...
I'm still trying to figure that out. It's a tough life to live, not knowing who you are really or feeling confident in yourself, it really sucks...
But yeah just from my view, it's a benefit, it's a boost. I mean white guys will tell you, they love being white, it's prettymuch a golden ticket to willy wanka land. And I possess that ticket to some extent. Do I deserve to have the Willy Wonka White guy ticket? Yeah I think so. I'm a good guy, I'm not an asshole. I'm the guy who looks up to heroic figures and wants to do the right thing and make life better for everyone so yeah I think I deserve my slight advantage in life of being racially ambiguous.
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