I wish I was white sometimes. Maybe I wouldn't feel so burdened by my failures in the past if I knew no one would hold it against me because I was a part of the master race. It's one thing to fall flat on your face in front of people, it's a WHOLE NOTHER thing to fall as a black person. I simply forgot I was black, I guess it's a testament to the anti-racist efforts of the 90s that I grew up feeling no sense of exclusion from society. But now it's become fully upfront and out in the open and black people are in the spotlight now more than in any other time in history.
It's finally happening, the pot is being stirred on whether black people can truly be considered equal to whites or not. And my generation has to make the stamp in history to prove to children you can do whatever you set your mind to... Can't say my antics have helped any...
It's like this, I go out in the world and I get what I get as a black guy, lots of assumptions about my character and intelligence. All of it supported by the ever-present asshole douche bag black guys white people hate. I wonder what kind of example these guys are trying to set in a world that's rapidly evolving into what it should be, a place where any man can achieve his dreams.
Why still fuck things up for other black people? If there's ever been a better time to work hard at creating peace, it's NOW. But no... we black people don't want that. I go online and I hear a stupid asshole black kid calling white kids names. Trying to incite a race war. I tell myself it's nothing to worry about, boys will be boys, but those white kids will remember that shit head when they're older. So Yes it does mean something... White people still rule the world, ya know... probably not a good idea to piss them off.
I don't know. I need to just take a long vacation from this stuff. I want to be a ballsy military guy and just be like the hulk and bash and smash my way through my problems but I don't really think that would be wise... All the craziness in the last few years has really exausted me. I need to just chill and not worry about all this crap for now... It's too much...
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Saturday, August 18, 2012
kids out dat pussy hole
Don't know man... the drive to procreate is probably impossible to overcome when you really think about it. Can you stop from ejaculating? No... it's just something that's gotta be done....
It's just so crazy to think about it to me, what'd it be like to be a father... not something I ever thought about. I figured I'd just go to my cubicle job and shit like everybody else. Now I meet little kids at work and I make them laugh and it's not a bad feeling being a parental figure to them.. but shit if I have any idea how to take on that role.
I did help raise my niece and truthfully I still am her crazy uncle and stuff so I guess I've been there done that. She was an extremely cute baby.... I remember we cleaned her ass and all that, fed her. That was a good experience for me, more valuable than going to shitty school. I'm not scared of taking care of a baby because I've already done it, ya dig...
It's just that I myself am still so clueless about life, I don't feel confident passing on knowledge to any kids or strong enough mentally to handle their incessant bullshit. but as I said, it's almost prophetic how my blog is named the same as I intend to name my daughter. Bishop, being the name of a super hero I created, but wouldn't be a bad name for a boy when you get down to it...
Just blowing smoke though. I ain't never going to have kids. EVER.
It's just so crazy to think about it to me, what'd it be like to be a father... not something I ever thought about. I figured I'd just go to my cubicle job and shit like everybody else. Now I meet little kids at work and I make them laugh and it's not a bad feeling being a parental figure to them.. but shit if I have any idea how to take on that role.
I did help raise my niece and truthfully I still am her crazy uncle and stuff so I guess I've been there done that. She was an extremely cute baby.... I remember we cleaned her ass and all that, fed her. That was a good experience for me, more valuable than going to shitty school. I'm not scared of taking care of a baby because I've already done it, ya dig...
It's just that I myself am still so clueless about life, I don't feel confident passing on knowledge to any kids or strong enough mentally to handle their incessant bullshit. but as I said, it's almost prophetic how my blog is named the same as I intend to name my daughter. Bishop, being the name of a super hero I created, but wouldn't be a bad name for a boy when you get down to it...
Just blowing smoke though. I ain't never going to have kids. EVER.
Upgrade time
Exciting times, internet buddies. I just bought a new CPU for my computer. First of all I KNOW I'm a neophite when it comes to computers so don't get all anal about some layman acting like he knows anything. I recall when I was at an old forum, I said how much I liked fireworks as a graphic design program, then some jackass came out of no where and blasted me for thinking that was the best. Hate internet nazis...
It's an AMD FX 4100 with 3.6ghz of power. I think that'll be enough to play my games I bought on steam when they had that summer sale. I got gta 4 and need for speed so we'll see... gonna install it and overclock it and hopefully it'll solve the freezing problem I've been having every time I play one of these graphically intense games. I got the money now, so why not finally build a good computer and shit like I want... problem is the goddamn technical details of computers blows my head off. And I was planning to major in it in college. Good ass money in becoming a computer nerd though. Yo ass gonna be RICH BITCH. If you know how to fucking run these shits...
just sayin.... hmm, not that I'd want to, but it does interest me to get into programming etc possible in a school program as learning it on your own is fucking hard.
And thats also why I kinda laugh at the douche bag I used to work with in delta who was gleefully trying his darndest to patronize me from his lofty perch as a baggage chucker, ya seriously think any of the guys who have the knowledge about how to pull a plane apart and put it back together envy YOU in the least? HA HA HAHA... I can't believe people like him exist. But they do... they do...
Monday, August 6, 2012
Friendly security
Alot to say as I relax from work. My job at tsa is now in jeopardy because of my failing of the PSE test they give even though I've been working there under a year. Some new rules and shit have put me in a position to take the test. I did very well to my surprise on the last stuff that included a complicated process to pat down a person with disabilities, then I supposedly missed a spot on the much easier bag check shit. So now a bunch of shit is going on and I have to wait from word from the FSD to see if I get to keep my job. Most likely I'll keep it because I passed the portion of the test that deals with my actual position there as a CTX baggage scanner. So I may lose my checkpoint certification only and it'll be like losing a chance to get raped in the ass... so whatever...
I hate to wait, but it's the government so it'll probably take a goddamn month to get any word back. They fired 2 people recently though so I'm hoping they're not looking to so quickly lose people so soon... I don't know... to my surprise lga's been pretty low on personnel and shit, so they've been hiring out the ass and I know many who are working in shitty little airport jobs who want in on tsa's hiring spree. Jump on that shit, it's so easy, this job, and the pay's good and the benefits are good, lotta niggas licking up that big gov money, so jump on it I say. If you see a big bucket of money out in the middle of the street, what are ya gonna do, not snag it just cuz people will look down on you for not working hard for it? No, fuck them. they don't care about you. Take that shit.
That's why I'm not totally disappointed by losing all that money I spent on my bike. There'll be more to come especially once I finish building this new one. Gonna have to call those guys on maybe wednesday to see if I can get that shit, or just ya know whatever... I think I can afford the parts right now but I'll see if I can get the price reduced first. Does it hurt to lose 2000 dollars? yes, Have I spent that and then some in owning and maintaing a car for years? Yes. I've lost more than that by paying car expenses anyway, so why the fuck am I completely crushed by this one problem. Stupid...
Anyway, I hope they don't fire me. I'm damn good at my job, because of my personality. I'm a friendly person to everyone and I'm not that kind of tso you've probably come across who acts like they're a cop and bossses you around, no... I only do that if I have no choice, otherwise I just talk normally. People get tiresome sometimes though. It's funny how similar people are, saying the same exact words every day, I never knew how limited our collective vocabularies were until now. I've seen thousands of people come and go through the ctx doorway and yet every single one of them, of all races and ages, uses the same words. Only a select few obviously more intelligent people try to say it differently, but most people speak rather ordinarily. I like to liven things up with a clever quip and shit, and that's how I like it, and that's also how tsa operates. They're like the airforce in a lot of ways, funny, friendly, but serious nonetheless. I'm perfect for that... as I was for the airforce but let's not go back to that... hell, maybe during basic I wasn't willing to kill people, but I sure am now after coming across so many kinds in lga... ya wonder to yourself sometimes which people are worth keeping around and which are better off dead.
yup
I hate to wait, but it's the government so it'll probably take a goddamn month to get any word back. They fired 2 people recently though so I'm hoping they're not looking to so quickly lose people so soon... I don't know... to my surprise lga's been pretty low on personnel and shit, so they've been hiring out the ass and I know many who are working in shitty little airport jobs who want in on tsa's hiring spree. Jump on that shit, it's so easy, this job, and the pay's good and the benefits are good, lotta niggas licking up that big gov money, so jump on it I say. If you see a big bucket of money out in the middle of the street, what are ya gonna do, not snag it just cuz people will look down on you for not working hard for it? No, fuck them. they don't care about you. Take that shit.
That's why I'm not totally disappointed by losing all that money I spent on my bike. There'll be more to come especially once I finish building this new one. Gonna have to call those guys on maybe wednesday to see if I can get that shit, or just ya know whatever... I think I can afford the parts right now but I'll see if I can get the price reduced first. Does it hurt to lose 2000 dollars? yes, Have I spent that and then some in owning and maintaing a car for years? Yes. I've lost more than that by paying car expenses anyway, so why the fuck am I completely crushed by this one problem. Stupid...
Anyway, I hope they don't fire me. I'm damn good at my job, because of my personality. I'm a friendly person to everyone and I'm not that kind of tso you've probably come across who acts like they're a cop and bossses you around, no... I only do that if I have no choice, otherwise I just talk normally. People get tiresome sometimes though. It's funny how similar people are, saying the same exact words every day, I never knew how limited our collective vocabularies were until now. I've seen thousands of people come and go through the ctx doorway and yet every single one of them, of all races and ages, uses the same words. Only a select few obviously more intelligent people try to say it differently, but most people speak rather ordinarily. I like to liven things up with a clever quip and shit, and that's how I like it, and that's also how tsa operates. They're like the airforce in a lot of ways, funny, friendly, but serious nonetheless. I'm perfect for that... as I was for the airforce but let's not go back to that... hell, maybe during basic I wasn't willing to kill people, but I sure am now after coming across so many kinds in lga... ya wonder to yourself sometimes which people are worth keeping around and which are better off dead.
yup
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Bike stolen
Again.
I'm shocked to my core by the second theft of my electric bike. I'm just enraged, I want to find the shithead who stole it and kill him. No judge, no jury, no mercy. You done, son. I wish I put a tracking device in it so I could find this asshole and I'm contemplating putting one in my regular bike, and using it as bait to see if they'll steal it so I can find them.
I hate black people and this is why. I can't be mad at the KKK when even black people fuck with black people so they deserve to get what they get in the end. Can't be mad... ya gotta be kidding me to steal from other black people and be acting like it's the world that's keeping black people down. Fuck black people... I'm so tired of their bullshit.
So the thief basically watched me riding my bike, saw where I lived, then one day when I went to the store and forgot my lock back home went to take a peak at the combo, then the next day knew exactly what to switch the dial to to unlock it and bounced with my bike.
2000 dollars flushed down the toilet.
I'm in contact now with the company that built it and hopefully they'll send me a kit to build a new bike or something, they seem cool and actually showed sympathy for my problem...
On top of that I don't feel safe living here anymore. I mean I've always had my bike stolen here in this neighborhood, but fuck if it isn't getting retarded to still be having to deal with it in my 20s, I'm closing in on 30 for goodness sakes.
It's a predominantly black neighborhood with a few white people sprinkled here and there and it's just barely above the projects in terms of environment and types of people living around here. This isn't a white neighborhood where if they see black people walking around, they'll follow you and shit. No... You can tell when you're in a white neighborhood around here, like goddamn disney world it's so clean and shiny. You feel safe and happy to be alive.
Enough joking around though. I lost a lot of money and honestly don't know what to make of this. I still have a good job that overpays me and I need to keep it, that's for sure... I hope to get another bike in the future since that's still a great way to travel and not pay for all the expenses of a car... so I don't know... maybe I can live without the money, but I'm still feeling like I've suffered a huge setback in the end...
I'm shocked to my core by the second theft of my electric bike. I'm just enraged, I want to find the shithead who stole it and kill him. No judge, no jury, no mercy. You done, son. I wish I put a tracking device in it so I could find this asshole and I'm contemplating putting one in my regular bike, and using it as bait to see if they'll steal it so I can find them.
I hate black people and this is why. I can't be mad at the KKK when even black people fuck with black people so they deserve to get what they get in the end. Can't be mad... ya gotta be kidding me to steal from other black people and be acting like it's the world that's keeping black people down. Fuck black people... I'm so tired of their bullshit.
So the thief basically watched me riding my bike, saw where I lived, then one day when I went to the store and forgot my lock back home went to take a peak at the combo, then the next day knew exactly what to switch the dial to to unlock it and bounced with my bike.
2000 dollars flushed down the toilet.
I'm in contact now with the company that built it and hopefully they'll send me a kit to build a new bike or something, they seem cool and actually showed sympathy for my problem...
On top of that I don't feel safe living here anymore. I mean I've always had my bike stolen here in this neighborhood, but fuck if it isn't getting retarded to still be having to deal with it in my 20s, I'm closing in on 30 for goodness sakes.
It's a predominantly black neighborhood with a few white people sprinkled here and there and it's just barely above the projects in terms of environment and types of people living around here. This isn't a white neighborhood where if they see black people walking around, they'll follow you and shit. No... You can tell when you're in a white neighborhood around here, like goddamn disney world it's so clean and shiny. You feel safe and happy to be alive.
Enough joking around though. I lost a lot of money and honestly don't know what to make of this. I still have a good job that overpays me and I need to keep it, that's for sure... I hope to get another bike in the future since that's still a great way to travel and not pay for all the expenses of a car... so I don't know... maybe I can live without the money, but I'm still feeling like I've suffered a huge setback in the end...
Monday, July 30, 2012
Kid fight club
Recently it's been reported in the press that a 9 year old boy beat down two little girls. I watched the video in horror at the boy's actions. Let me make it clear, I love children, always have, ever since I helped raise my niece, ever since I was bullied as a child and was treated like garbage by my own parents. When kids come to my door at tsa, I make jokes and make them laugh... I feel deeply saddened and shocked by what that little monster did to those girls. And what's more, the asshole actually told the father of the girls he beat that it was another boy, and the father went and hit that kid.
This is a foul mess of a thing. Luckily it was caught on camera, so no one can bullshit about what exactly happened.
I know there's kids in schools who are complete garbage, but I've never seen this before. What kind of psycho is this kid I wonder? Sociopath? Has no emotions... The father in me wants to tear him apart. The intellectual in me wants to figure out what the blue hell is wrong with him. At 9, I was a trouble maker, not going to lie, but it was usually boys beating boys, we didn't touch no girls. That's boyhood, it is what it is.
And what's worse is that this happens all the time, not just this one incident. No sir... School is HELL. I don't recommend sending kids through it, because all it does is make them hate dealing with people.
This is only going to make life worse for black males in the school system. They were already getting shafted, now they're going to be completely subjugated. I hate to say it, I am black, I have very good black friends, I've met a fair share of decent black men, but 90% of black males are ASS IN A CAN. Something has to be done about these guys... This has tipped the pot over and things have gone overboard if you know what I'm saying...
This is a foul mess of a thing. Luckily it was caught on camera, so no one can bullshit about what exactly happened.
I know there's kids in schools who are complete garbage, but I've never seen this before. What kind of psycho is this kid I wonder? Sociopath? Has no emotions... The father in me wants to tear him apart. The intellectual in me wants to figure out what the blue hell is wrong with him. At 9, I was a trouble maker, not going to lie, but it was usually boys beating boys, we didn't touch no girls. That's boyhood, it is what it is.
And what's worse is that this happens all the time, not just this one incident. No sir... School is HELL. I don't recommend sending kids through it, because all it does is make them hate dealing with people.
This is only going to make life worse for black males in the school system. They were already getting shafted, now they're going to be completely subjugated. I hate to say it, I am black, I have very good black friends, I've met a fair share of decent black men, but 90% of black males are ASS IN A CAN. Something has to be done about these guys... This has tipped the pot over and things have gone overboard if you know what I'm saying...
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Time Machine
My life long goal. I think since I'm never going to everrrr get laid ever, I'll spend my time doing what I postulated doing while wasting my time going to high school. I don't do much at tsa, so what I do most of the the time is sit and draw concepts of stuff and create new ideas about the airline industry. It's so stupid how ramp ops is carried out. I can't believe they do it the way they do, whoever designed it is an idiot. The rings are two small on the dolleys so you have to spend an extra five minutes trying to hook those things up. Some of the flights have similar numbers on the same pier so of course the guy separating the bags makes a mistake and puts the bag on a flight to mexico instead of moscow or whatever. it's retarded. Plus the bag loading itself inside the belly could be made easier if there was at least some kind of rolling platform to put the shit on and pass it to the guy at the back. Half the equipment not working is another thing. Though i think the last thing on the ceo's mind at these places is giving the bottom of the ladder anything at all. They really don't care...
same with tsa, though it's been a boon for me. I go there, clock in, do nothing special, then watch my bank account grow, no muss no fuss no bother. I couldn't ask for a better job. I'm nothing. I'm meat. I'm like a grunt in iraq. Fuck me. And that's actually a good thing. If I was someone significant, they'd keep fucking with me to see me suffer, but no, they don't give a shit about me at all. I'm so free to chill and be a peaceful person it's ridiculous. I'm waiting for everything to go south, but it isn't. And probably never will. Niggas have been getting away with sitting on their ass being fed by the government for years in that place. These guys are geniuses.
Why would I want to go work as a lawyer or pilot when I can do alright for myself and do nothing. I don't get those people.
Well anyway, I'm going to try my gosh darndest to figure out how to create a time machine now. It has to be possible. Hell we already have atom smashers. We're working on developing a new type of energy source using fusion and shit. The future is bright my friends. I get the feeling that the potential to harness various kinds of energy, manipulate it, shape it to meet our needs will allow us to eventually travel through time. Look at it this way, out there in space is probably a worm hole, through which one can essentially skip vast distances in mere moments. That could be the key. If we can generate our own worm holes like in sliders, we might be able to fudge the math enough to go not just from one place to another but also to another time. Since distance and time are forever linked. It's thouroughly facinating. I'm excited about the possibilities.
same with tsa, though it's been a boon for me. I go there, clock in, do nothing special, then watch my bank account grow, no muss no fuss no bother. I couldn't ask for a better job. I'm nothing. I'm meat. I'm like a grunt in iraq. Fuck me. And that's actually a good thing. If I was someone significant, they'd keep fucking with me to see me suffer, but no, they don't give a shit about me at all. I'm so free to chill and be a peaceful person it's ridiculous. I'm waiting for everything to go south, but it isn't. And probably never will. Niggas have been getting away with sitting on their ass being fed by the government for years in that place. These guys are geniuses.
Why would I want to go work as a lawyer or pilot when I can do alright for myself and do nothing. I don't get those people.
Well anyway, I'm going to try my gosh darndest to figure out how to create a time machine now. It has to be possible. Hell we already have atom smashers. We're working on developing a new type of energy source using fusion and shit. The future is bright my friends. I get the feeling that the potential to harness various kinds of energy, manipulate it, shape it to meet our needs will allow us to eventually travel through time. Look at it this way, out there in space is probably a worm hole, through which one can essentially skip vast distances in mere moments. That could be the key. If we can generate our own worm holes like in sliders, we might be able to fudge the math enough to go not just from one place to another but also to another time. Since distance and time are forever linked. It's thouroughly facinating. I'm excited about the possibilities.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
