I keep thinking about what little dick cheney said. while in the airforce, more like praise jesus or we'll kill you force, they gave me a cold virus similar to the one I have now. Then over the course of about 2 weeks I got stuff to help cure it. Mil has top medical stuff, they probably have the cure for EVERYTHING but why give it to us, what purpose would that serve beyond eliminating their potential market for whatever little drugs they can sell to temporarily fix the problem. It's like in that law and order episode. A medical guy had to actually break the law to get an illegal drug that would cure a kid of his drug addiction. Why'd the drug have to be found illegally? Because it couldn't be mass produced and therefore wasn't considered marketable to the drug companies. If you are thinking there aren't very wealthy, very smart people in this world looking to fuck over the rest of us, you are wrong. This "thing" we call a country is basically one big free for all. And the only way to survive is to have the right friends in the right places.
Anyway I'm still feeling too drowsy from the fever I got to really concentrate on this, so gotta go...
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Ronda Vs Ninja Girl
Started concept designs for a new ronda comic today. Panel layouts really. I've never done this story though I had planned it way back when I began the original issues of ronda series. Her first true opponent in battle is a ninja assassin sent to kill her. I originally had it be 3 ninjas, but scaled it back to 1 for simplicity sake. the joke in the story is that both girls are TERRIBLE fighters. Though she looks tough, the ninja girl sucks at fighting, she is ultimately defeated when she falls into a train car full of gangsta black dudes and gets gang banged while ronda watches from above and laughs.
It's hard to try to do this all over again after already doing a bunch of great drawings, then tossing them in the trash like last time when I fell for holly. But I can pull through it. I really want to get started on redoing the eden story, then once that's done, eden's simple really... it's a direct sequel to the cellula story, after which ronda gets pregnant and has a child, 14 years later, after taking eden to school the girl gets kidnapped by two androids. ronda gets called in by the Ad police and basically the story revolves around how she can get eden back, ultimately she fights what she thinks is an android version of Eden, but uses her ass to suck the girl into her belly, then when she gives birth to Eden all over again, the girl comes back to her senses, though she's kinda stuck in her mother's pussy, wide hips. Then all hell breaks loose as they fight a bunch of asshole droids, and ronda and eden are separated once more. Then while ronda, eve, and verona are in a holding cell, they encounter 2 cellula clones, who fight each other, and one of them turns good and kills the other one, then in order to escape she proposes that all the girls get into her body through her pussy. They do so, and she gets out of the cell and back to the tournament grounds where a fight is taking place between two girls who look identical, one being the actual android eden and the other the real one. Eden gets her ass whooped by the android, then lena (the name of the good cellula) steps in to help, and from here forward, a lot of shit happens, the coolest being when ronda's fighting the android by herself lena teaches eden and eve to fuse bodies. Eden goes into eve's pussy, and they become Even, a cocky bitch who's extremely powerful. So the android gets kinda whooped by the cocky even, but because she's too full ove herself, she gets her ass whooped instead, and so lena decides to sacrafice herself and hold the android so that ronda, even, and verona can escape in the time machine. They do so, and lena shits out an egg before exploding like a nuclear bomb. I drew some great shots of android eden after the blast, her body nothing more than a metal terminator endo skeleton, and she's only got half a face left. Then that's prettymuch the end of the eden story line before we get to lost in space and the lost world. Then of course Dawn of Fate or whatever it's called which is the battle royal that ends the whole damn thing once and for all. Gonna be a bitch to redo all that shit, but so be it. I love drawing bitches fighting each other, always have...
It's hard to try to do this all over again after already doing a bunch of great drawings, then tossing them in the trash like last time when I fell for holly. But I can pull through it. I really want to get started on redoing the eden story, then once that's done, eden's simple really... it's a direct sequel to the cellula story, after which ronda gets pregnant and has a child, 14 years later, after taking eden to school the girl gets kidnapped by two androids. ronda gets called in by the Ad police and basically the story revolves around how she can get eden back, ultimately she fights what she thinks is an android version of Eden, but uses her ass to suck the girl into her belly, then when she gives birth to Eden all over again, the girl comes back to her senses, though she's kinda stuck in her mother's pussy, wide hips. Then all hell breaks loose as they fight a bunch of asshole droids, and ronda and eden are separated once more. Then while ronda, eve, and verona are in a holding cell, they encounter 2 cellula clones, who fight each other, and one of them turns good and kills the other one, then in order to escape she proposes that all the girls get into her body through her pussy. They do so, and she gets out of the cell and back to the tournament grounds where a fight is taking place between two girls who look identical, one being the actual android eden and the other the real one. Eden gets her ass whooped by the android, then lena (the name of the good cellula) steps in to help, and from here forward, a lot of shit happens, the coolest being when ronda's fighting the android by herself lena teaches eden and eve to fuse bodies. Eden goes into eve's pussy, and they become Even, a cocky bitch who's extremely powerful. So the android gets kinda whooped by the cocky even, but because she's too full ove herself, she gets her ass whooped instead, and so lena decides to sacrafice herself and hold the android so that ronda, even, and verona can escape in the time machine. They do so, and lena shits out an egg before exploding like a nuclear bomb. I drew some great shots of android eden after the blast, her body nothing more than a metal terminator endo skeleton, and she's only got half a face left. Then that's prettymuch the end of the eden story line before we get to lost in space and the lost world. Then of course Dawn of Fate or whatever it's called which is the battle royal that ends the whole damn thing once and for all. Gonna be a bitch to redo all that shit, but so be it. I love drawing bitches fighting each other, always have...
Friday, March 26, 2010
I feel like I'm dying.
I've had traumatic experiences on message boards. I've been hit by a car. I've gone through basic military training. And above all what hurts most is that I've never had a girlfriend, something I've truly had to come to terms with... that perhaps dying alone is my destiny. But today i'm feeling terrible. Must have caught a virus. I need some damn medicine. I'm only 24, so I'm not worried about getting back to some kind of good health, but I do want to get to sleep at some point and stop coughing.
Makes me wonder what dying is going to be like though. You have to think about it. It WILL happen. I saw death as a kid. Killed ants for fun, accidentally killed a hamster, tried to save a kitten from dying after it was just born but I couldn't. Death is the end. We're like machines us humans and once our batteries run out, there's no going back. That's why the older generation believes people like me should be going out and having fun. Good luck with that, naw, can't happen until I got the money rolling in my bank account. ALMOST got to that point where I'd be mr. sexy with my airforce uniform on, getting all the bitches, but I ain't marrying nobody no how, sorry. Been alone too long to suddenly boom get hitched. I don't even know if I'll like fucking a girl, sad, but even though I love titties and ass, I'm not exactly sure if I'll LOVE titties and ass, though I hope my juices flow just like in the porn vids I watch. Those guys must feel like heaven after a girl sucks their dick dry.
Girls sucking dicks. Seems to me like they can't really stop themselves from wanting to get fucked. It's just "gotta happen" period, that kind of thing. Like with my sperm. I wish oh I wish I could quit, but the shit just keeps coming. Even now I've got a fresh batch ready to burst out my dick. On one hand I do feel like having kids would be awesome, on the other, hell no having kids will not be awesome. Like there was this super ripped up guy in the airforce who was my element leader in flight 521, I believe. He claims to have chosen to be a father, seems like a great level headed dude too, but is he in for MUCH more than he bargained for, I assure you. They will push him to the edge, both he and his wife. Why do it... why... Don't make a lick of sense to me. Yeah I know they're the future, but good lawd, you will want to die some days. Gotta have some massive balls to have kids, that's for sure. Then they're going to hate you for the rest of your life, what do I know...
No, not me. I'm not meant for that stuff, never was. I'm the outcast, the only one who sees the world for what it is, a joke. Great big joke. Full of people living for one reason, pussy and dicks. Shame really, there's so much more we could do if we wanted to go beyond our sexual limitations. so much more... like becoming gods, masters of our destiny, not slaves to a primitive life cycle...
Makes me wonder what dying is going to be like though. You have to think about it. It WILL happen. I saw death as a kid. Killed ants for fun, accidentally killed a hamster, tried to save a kitten from dying after it was just born but I couldn't. Death is the end. We're like machines us humans and once our batteries run out, there's no going back. That's why the older generation believes people like me should be going out and having fun. Good luck with that, naw, can't happen until I got the money rolling in my bank account. ALMOST got to that point where I'd be mr. sexy with my airforce uniform on, getting all the bitches, but I ain't marrying nobody no how, sorry. Been alone too long to suddenly boom get hitched. I don't even know if I'll like fucking a girl, sad, but even though I love titties and ass, I'm not exactly sure if I'll LOVE titties and ass, though I hope my juices flow just like in the porn vids I watch. Those guys must feel like heaven after a girl sucks their dick dry.
Girls sucking dicks. Seems to me like they can't really stop themselves from wanting to get fucked. It's just "gotta happen" period, that kind of thing. Like with my sperm. I wish oh I wish I could quit, but the shit just keeps coming. Even now I've got a fresh batch ready to burst out my dick. On one hand I do feel like having kids would be awesome, on the other, hell no having kids will not be awesome. Like there was this super ripped up guy in the airforce who was my element leader in flight 521, I believe. He claims to have chosen to be a father, seems like a great level headed dude too, but is he in for MUCH more than he bargained for, I assure you. They will push him to the edge, both he and his wife. Why do it... why... Don't make a lick of sense to me. Yeah I know they're the future, but good lawd, you will want to die some days. Gotta have some massive balls to have kids, that's for sure. Then they're going to hate you for the rest of your life, what do I know...
No, not me. I'm not meant for that stuff, never was. I'm the outcast, the only one who sees the world for what it is, a joke. Great big joke. Full of people living for one reason, pussy and dicks. Shame really, there's so much more we could do if we wanted to go beyond our sexual limitations. so much more... like becoming gods, masters of our destiny, not slaves to a primitive life cycle...
o face
Something new I've discovered. During a dep meeting, sabrina frato with her beautiful plump ass, ready and primed for baby making, kept opening her mouth wide and looking kind of constipated at me. She's trying to hint that she wants to suck my cock, of course. heh, goddamn if only that happened back in 2002, I'd certainly would have. I'm too smart to fall for a few orgasm faces from some slutty super smart bitch working for the military. If you act like a woman who'd be the best mom EVER to our kid, THEN I'd do ANYTHING for you. Ugh, females today...
But anyway, let me show you all basically how she looked every time she bent over and flirted with me... hold on, gotta find the right vid here... found it...
24_ETA_Stephanie_Shower_scene_pt 2
Uploaded by yngceo. - Get intimate with more sexy videos.
Right at 3:10, that's how she looked. Must be how girls get when they orgasm uncontrollably or something, wouldn't know, but it's sexy looking to me... They look so what's the word, feminine. Gosh, look at that, an actual feminine quality in a female that truly attracts a male... hard to come by in today's butch lesbo bullshit era we're in.
Having some rocking boobs doesn't hurt either. They must be so warm and soft. So uh, yeah you can kind of see why I like black girls. More Meat
But anyway, let me show you all basically how she looked every time she bent over and flirted with me... hold on, gotta find the right vid here... found it...
24_ETA_Stephanie_Shower_scene_pt 2
Uploaded by yngceo. - Get intimate with more sexy videos.
Right at 3:10, that's how she looked. Must be how girls get when they orgasm uncontrollably or something, wouldn't know, but it's sexy looking to me... They look so what's the word, feminine. Gosh, look at that, an actual feminine quality in a female that truly attracts a male... hard to come by in today's butch lesbo bullshit era we're in.
Having some rocking boobs doesn't hurt either. They must be so warm and soft. So uh, yeah you can kind of see why I like black girls. More Meat
Damnit. Relapsed.
Very interesting... It's always the same, I stay off the porn for a good long while, then I get it into my head that a little bit of pumping the penis won't hurt, then there it goes, all my hard work out the window.
I'll have to go down a different path now. I think intense exercise might be the only way to truly quit. I've always wanted to get ripped like stallone in rocky. He was buff but could have been bigger if he rested his muscles more. stallone admits he made a lot of errors when he began body building. The right way to do it is, exercise less actually, rest more. How else can your muscles rebuild themselves if you don't rest them after an intense workout. I'd like to do the same, but the balleys gym closed. Unbelievable to me because I grew up always seeing that gym there, wondering what it was like inside. Then when I finally get in there, start enjoying going to the gym (tits and ass EVERYWHERE) then it just closes like they never existed. Fucking gym's been there since I can remember, since probably 1999 cuz I know for damn sure I went to new roc to see star wars, what the hell...
But whatever. I have the body type that's built for muscle, that's one good thing about being me, I'm not TOO small. If I work out, I'll be formidable in a fight. And you better be. No damn way you'll make it in this world if you can't at least kick somebody's ass.
I'll have to go down a different path now. I think intense exercise might be the only way to truly quit. I've always wanted to get ripped like stallone in rocky. He was buff but could have been bigger if he rested his muscles more. stallone admits he made a lot of errors when he began body building. The right way to do it is, exercise less actually, rest more. How else can your muscles rebuild themselves if you don't rest them after an intense workout. I'd like to do the same, but the balleys gym closed. Unbelievable to me because I grew up always seeing that gym there, wondering what it was like inside. Then when I finally get in there, start enjoying going to the gym (tits and ass EVERYWHERE) then it just closes like they never existed. Fucking gym's been there since I can remember, since probably 1999 cuz I know for damn sure I went to new roc to see star wars, what the hell...
But whatever. I have the body type that's built for muscle, that's one good thing about being me, I'm not TOO small. If I work out, I'll be formidable in a fight. And you better be. No damn way you'll make it in this world if you can't at least kick somebody's ass.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wait until Marriage
As usual, I got nothing but tits and ass on my mind. It's been quite a few days since I quit shooting my sauce, imagine trying to not take a piss for this long, impossible, so of course this is an indication to me that completely quitting is possible.
I think back on the past with curiosity at how I've been treated by people who DO get regular sex and have been, since high school. They tell me "wait until marriage" then wave me away like I'm nothing to them. If anyones wondering who's in charge of our atomic bomb, it's a guy who's supposedly only fucking his wife and his wife alone, yeah right. God help us all.
Oh well, I think to myself, no kids is a good thing. They'll tear you apart financially. I may not have a lot of money but i won't go hungry, no sir, could always join the mil again. Funny thing is though that they're really insistent that you get married. It's like a big club, the married crowd, I suppose. How about I find out if a girl is worth marrying in the first place, asshole.
I don't like the military anymore. They're good salesmen, making their websites seem like the mil is wonderful, recruiters tell you all kinds of bullshit. Listen, it's just a bunch of horny old men with guns, THAT'S IT. There's no big super duper secret behind any of these big time industries. These guys will do anything to fuck and make kids even if it means killing people in the name of jesus. Who'd have guessed...
Strange to be raised on religious beliefs that prettymuch everyone kinda only keeps around to make them look good. You go your whole life thinking you're doing the right thing by staying away from sex, then some guy who's been fucking since 8th grade, will tell you to wait until ya getz married lulz! You bet your ass that's what's going to happen.
sucks, but I think I have every right not to give a damn about what you think of me. I've played hard ball, did what so many can't do, abstain, now I should be a free man. I'm not going to fight and die in war to protect you and your right to fuck your wife. Shit, though I know I'm fighting the majority on this one. most people are about one thing, fucking, making children and if you ain't up on that, goodbye...
I still think the way I did as a kid, that i have to look up to women as I did my teachers, so how the blue fuck am I supposed to suddenly toss that in the garbage and look at them as nothing but places to stick my dick, which is what they want, ALL OF THEM, don't matter which color. I realize now that they're all the same shit different body, baby makers, who want to get raped by alpha dogs. trust me. I'm not saying go around raping girls, but you have to seem like that's what you'll do to them, beat their ass, or they don't want shit to do with you.
I think back on the past with curiosity at how I've been treated by people who DO get regular sex and have been, since high school. They tell me "wait until marriage" then wave me away like I'm nothing to them. If anyones wondering who's in charge of our atomic bomb, it's a guy who's supposedly only fucking his wife and his wife alone, yeah right. God help us all.
Oh well, I think to myself, no kids is a good thing. They'll tear you apart financially. I may not have a lot of money but i won't go hungry, no sir, could always join the mil again. Funny thing is though that they're really insistent that you get married. It's like a big club, the married crowd, I suppose. How about I find out if a girl is worth marrying in the first place, asshole.
I don't like the military anymore. They're good salesmen, making their websites seem like the mil is wonderful, recruiters tell you all kinds of bullshit. Listen, it's just a bunch of horny old men with guns, THAT'S IT. There's no big super duper secret behind any of these big time industries. These guys will do anything to fuck and make kids even if it means killing people in the name of jesus. Who'd have guessed...
Strange to be raised on religious beliefs that prettymuch everyone kinda only keeps around to make them look good. You go your whole life thinking you're doing the right thing by staying away from sex, then some guy who's been fucking since 8th grade, will tell you to wait until ya getz married lulz! You bet your ass that's what's going to happen.
sucks, but I think I have every right not to give a damn about what you think of me. I've played hard ball, did what so many can't do, abstain, now I should be a free man. I'm not going to fight and die in war to protect you and your right to fuck your wife. Shit, though I know I'm fighting the majority on this one. most people are about one thing, fucking, making children and if you ain't up on that, goodbye...
I still think the way I did as a kid, that i have to look up to women as I did my teachers, so how the blue fuck am I supposed to suddenly toss that in the garbage and look at them as nothing but places to stick my dick, which is what they want, ALL OF THEM, don't matter which color. I realize now that they're all the same shit different body, baby makers, who want to get raped by alpha dogs. trust me. I'm not saying go around raping girls, but you have to seem like that's what you'll do to them, beat their ass, or they don't want shit to do with you.
Bunch of white girls contacting me on myspace
I don't know what that's about. Ages ranging from 17 to 29 are sending me friend requests, and they have some sweet looking tits, wouldn't mind fucking that for sure. I know sex is a powerful drug, probably would settle for a nigger, some of them, it's a dick anyway right. Love this world, sometimes. I was at the gym and my muscles were ripped right, since I was working out for the military. This cute blonde white girl just walks by me, then looks in my direction with sad puppy dog look on her face. I'm thinking "really? You think YOU are the one who has to beg for attention? from a black guy of all people..." I thought about talking to her, but I dared not. I'm scared of white girls, they're too far up the food chain for me. I know any man has a chance with any woman as my sister keeps telling me, but fuck you, bitch, these kinds of girls I've dreamed about fucking, never considered it being a reality, so whatever...
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
oh what a day
Good day today, I prettymuch didn't really feel the need to jerk off to porn, maybe it's the water, maybe it's now that the weather's good I go out and see real tits and ass so the online stuff isn't as appealing? Whatever the case, I'm feeling more mentally centered than I have in a while.
damn good episode of lost last night, fucking great stuff, somewhat deep without going crazy with the philosophy. It's not like those shows that talk down to their audiences, trust me when I tell you that there are extremely intelligent men and women in this world and many of them don't even feel like they belong to the same species as the rest of us, they're so smart. My father claims to simply go with the "i know nothing" mindset since tackling the very twisted labyrinth of philosophy is incredibly trying. No what I'm sayin... Which came first chicken or the egg, and that's just the beginning. Shit goes even deeper, about whether we should even keep living or not, maybe life is pointless... drives you insane thinking about it all.
What else. Applied for target. there's one that's not far from my house. If I could just get one of the easy ass jobs in the store like picking up crap that kids drop or something, I'd die to get that. Not food service again. Working in that department doesn't look bad at first, but they have you do EVERYTHING for 7.25 an hour, freakin minimum wage, and you have to make 100 pizzas, clean all the dishes, sell the food to customers, restock all the shelves. And that's just 1 day of work. Imagine doing that every day. That's why I enjoyed working at the airport, no dishes, got payed more, all I had to do was toss bags on a belt, the only problem being that my co-worker was an secret agent sent to spy on me, and of course the whole having to wait for a bobtail to come shit. Airports are very large places and so they have to actually use like one of those luggage vehicles to drive employees to buildings far out and away from the actual ramps. Good experience for me because it totally shows the little green man behind the curtain at these places, bunch of goofy people working such a serious job as ramp agents. No wonder bin laden got away with that shit. We're not all that, us americans. But as long as all the paper work gets done, whatever...
gotta get that job at target though. Girls girls girls is all I saw, just ass and titties when I used to work there. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
damn good episode of lost last night, fucking great stuff, somewhat deep without going crazy with the philosophy. It's not like those shows that talk down to their audiences, trust me when I tell you that there are extremely intelligent men and women in this world and many of them don't even feel like they belong to the same species as the rest of us, they're so smart. My father claims to simply go with the "i know nothing" mindset since tackling the very twisted labyrinth of philosophy is incredibly trying. No what I'm sayin... Which came first chicken or the egg, and that's just the beginning. Shit goes even deeper, about whether we should even keep living or not, maybe life is pointless... drives you insane thinking about it all.
What else. Applied for target. there's one that's not far from my house. If I could just get one of the easy ass jobs in the store like picking up crap that kids drop or something, I'd die to get that. Not food service again. Working in that department doesn't look bad at first, but they have you do EVERYTHING for 7.25 an hour, freakin minimum wage, and you have to make 100 pizzas, clean all the dishes, sell the food to customers, restock all the shelves. And that's just 1 day of work. Imagine doing that every day. That's why I enjoyed working at the airport, no dishes, got payed more, all I had to do was toss bags on a belt, the only problem being that my co-worker was an secret agent sent to spy on me, and of course the whole having to wait for a bobtail to come shit. Airports are very large places and so they have to actually use like one of those luggage vehicles to drive employees to buildings far out and away from the actual ramps. Good experience for me because it totally shows the little green man behind the curtain at these places, bunch of goofy people working such a serious job as ramp agents. No wonder bin laden got away with that shit. We're not all that, us americans. But as long as all the paper work gets done, whatever...
gotta get that job at target though. Girls girls girls is all I saw, just ass and titties when I used to work there. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Ppppproggress report
Doing ok, been about 4 days since I quit squirting baby sauce to lots o hot ass. It's supposed to feel like totally relaxing to get an orgasmic relief, I know, but it sucks for me. Maybe its gayness, I don't know. Fuckers in this society won't let a nigga test out his sexual preferences. I read shit all the time about gay rights, and I understand I guess that they REEEEEALLY like getting fucked in the ass or whatever, but don't be acting like that shit is normal. Ain't NOTHING on earth better than when I used to shoot my load off like a rocket. Shit don't work like that no more though for some reason...
Gotta just hang on and see if I can just forget about it instead. Ya go online and shit, and that's all people are discussing, sex, sex positions, orgasms, making babies. We're here to fuck. It's everything to us, but I can't stand that there are assholes in this world who just want to start shit with people, period, if I could have sex all day and night until I was dead, that's exactly what I'd do, shit is that good.
Oh well, um, currently searching for jobs. Workforce 1 thing is all I can hope for since it got me that shitty airport job, gonna try getting a job tomorrow, this time one where I'm not killing myself to get there.
Gotta just hang on and see if I can just forget about it instead. Ya go online and shit, and that's all people are discussing, sex, sex positions, orgasms, making babies. We're here to fuck. It's everything to us, but I can't stand that there are assholes in this world who just want to start shit with people, period, if I could have sex all day and night until I was dead, that's exactly what I'd do, shit is that good.
Oh well, um, currently searching for jobs. Workforce 1 thing is all I can hope for since it got me that shitty airport job, gonna try getting a job tomorrow, this time one where I'm not killing myself to get there.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
The captain america war has begun
I hope it's a good movie, that simple, that straight forward. This is it, showtime, either it'll be a great cap film or it'll be slightly better than the shitty first one.
I'm hoping it works out even if the torch fucker is in the lead spot, that's all. Having been in the actual military, sigh, I can say this about the military, they're not fucking around, they DO kill people and have guys in there who are nothing but walking muscle, but as far as their belief system, all that bible this and bible that, it's very confusing. Let's just say it's a job, more like a cop I guess, since cops kill too if they have to. supposed to be in self defense but lol who's going to give a shit when they kill a bunch of stupid ass black kids, right...
I love captain america though. I never much understood why people hated him, because yeah he was a little too political, representing the ultimate american boyscout, marvel's superman. Tough, manly, leader. I viewed him that way as a kid, nothing wrong with that. Not till I learned that some people think he's much like with superman himself, not supposed to only represent America, but heroism in general. Calling him captain america implies that America's this great heroic wonderful nation, which I know for certain now that it is not. It's just as bad as anywhere. Still a white man's country deep down. Growing up loving and appreciating white heros kind of makes the shocking truth about this supposed 'free' country that much more tough to swallow. They don't give a fuck about us. Not all, not going to blanket all white people, but I'm pretty sure the guys I met in the military wouldn't stick their neck out for me in the shit.
hmmm what else. This is going to be a huge film. I predicted long ago after superman returns kinda exploded in its own little, now in hybernation, war that a movie would have to come along that would give people a heroic symbol of american patriotism and all that good shit, much like returns did, but fuck, people went crazy over it. 4 years later, I'm 24 now, 20 when I went and lost my mind over that movie, goddamn it's been a college career since then hasn't it... still a virgin, never really thought about living this long, wasn't planning too, but hey if I get to see cap america, fuck yeah!
I'm hoping it works out even if the torch fucker is in the lead spot, that's all. Having been in the actual military, sigh, I can say this about the military, they're not fucking around, they DO kill people and have guys in there who are nothing but walking muscle, but as far as their belief system, all that bible this and bible that, it's very confusing. Let's just say it's a job, more like a cop I guess, since cops kill too if they have to. supposed to be in self defense but lol who's going to give a shit when they kill a bunch of stupid ass black kids, right...
I love captain america though. I never much understood why people hated him, because yeah he was a little too political, representing the ultimate american boyscout, marvel's superman. Tough, manly, leader. I viewed him that way as a kid, nothing wrong with that. Not till I learned that some people think he's much like with superman himself, not supposed to only represent America, but heroism in general. Calling him captain america implies that America's this great heroic wonderful nation, which I know for certain now that it is not. It's just as bad as anywhere. Still a white man's country deep down. Growing up loving and appreciating white heros kind of makes the shocking truth about this supposed 'free' country that much more tough to swallow. They don't give a fuck about us. Not all, not going to blanket all white people, but I'm pretty sure the guys I met in the military wouldn't stick their neck out for me in the shit.
hmmm what else. This is going to be a huge film. I predicted long ago after superman returns kinda exploded in its own little, now in hybernation, war that a movie would have to come along that would give people a heroic symbol of american patriotism and all that good shit, much like returns did, but fuck, people went crazy over it. 4 years later, I'm 24 now, 20 when I went and lost my mind over that movie, goddamn it's been a college career since then hasn't it... still a virgin, never really thought about living this long, wasn't planning too, but hey if I get to see cap america, fuck yeah!
Call me Simmsmael
Worked in a store. Worked at an airport. Worked in the military (I guess) Only one place I've yet to work that I've kind of always wanted to, the sea. I don't care what I do, I just want to be off this rock. I read moby dick back in 2007, not as tough a read as people make it out to be in the cosby show, in which theo had to do a paper on the novel and needed some instruction from his father, damn I miss that show now that I think about it, an actual honest to god representation of intellectual black people, with a sense of humor too. Too many shows today always have some super serious black guy on it like that I kid you not nigga in spiderman as if the only way black people can be considered smart is if they act like they're not even human anymore, they're that fucking brilliant.
My mother is a travel agent so the best thing about that was that during summer vacation we'd go on cruises, little 3 day shit, now not talkin about no long ass cruises. The last cruise I was on lasted 2 weeks, and it was hell. You get bored once you know every single part of the ship from aft, to stern, to port side which I recall is the right, aft is back, um stern is front I believe, can't remember what's left, oh wait, port side is left. No ship goes into port and unloads passengers on the right side, so right is probably stern, wtf ever, big ass boat full of white people every summer, that's all you need to know.
It's work though, don't think you're not going to be busting your ass for a tiny ass paycheck when you work on a ship. Lots of work, no money, but its like a free vacation every day I bet. Must be a hard job to get actually working on the ship. And everybody has to probably be trained to deal with emergencies, I mean it's not just some mcdonalds job, it's you on a big piece of iron in the middle of the ocean. Fascinating what men have built to pass the time before we fuck off this rock, isn't it. That's all I have to say. I'm just thinking outloud as I continue to battle this beast called a sex drive... As you can see that video I posted is one I really just found while hanging around, chillin watching dailymotion... what a girl, kate is. She's a tough girl deep, down, I feel like I can kind of sense which girls are strong from which are weak, since I sense it in myself, I know I could be very strong if I wanted to...
Sabrina frato was weak. And I don't say that just to get back at her for taking a shot at me. Though beautiful, she was reckless and too full of herself, still that immature bitch from high school, though she's putting a considerable amount of effort into acting like a tough male. Same with holly, also weak, though incredibly intelligent, she gave in too easily to her childish need to insult boys she liked. I'm way past that stage, if you're not, then see ya later. Ugh, I think to myself, it's something a lot of people on forums I've been reading in the last few years are having to deal with, women who haven't grown up, just bigger versions of little girls. Yet if you don't man up, they'll call you a faggot, fun world isn't it...
My mother is a travel agent so the best thing about that was that during summer vacation we'd go on cruises, little 3 day shit, now not talkin about no long ass cruises. The last cruise I was on lasted 2 weeks, and it was hell. You get bored once you know every single part of the ship from aft, to stern, to port side which I recall is the right, aft is back, um stern is front I believe, can't remember what's left, oh wait, port side is left. No ship goes into port and unloads passengers on the right side, so right is probably stern, wtf ever, big ass boat full of white people every summer, that's all you need to know.
It's work though, don't think you're not going to be busting your ass for a tiny ass paycheck when you work on a ship. Lots of work, no money, but its like a free vacation every day I bet. Must be a hard job to get actually working on the ship. And everybody has to probably be trained to deal with emergencies, I mean it's not just some mcdonalds job, it's you on a big piece of iron in the middle of the ocean. Fascinating what men have built to pass the time before we fuck off this rock, isn't it. That's all I have to say. I'm just thinking outloud as I continue to battle this beast called a sex drive... As you can see that video I posted is one I really just found while hanging around, chillin watching dailymotion... what a girl, kate is. She's a tough girl deep, down, I feel like I can kind of sense which girls are strong from which are weak, since I sense it in myself, I know I could be very strong if I wanted to...
Sabrina frato was weak. And I don't say that just to get back at her for taking a shot at me. Though beautiful, she was reckless and too full of herself, still that immature bitch from high school, though she's putting a considerable amount of effort into acting like a tough male. Same with holly, also weak, though incredibly intelligent, she gave in too easily to her childish need to insult boys she liked. I'm way past that stage, if you're not, then see ya later. Ugh, I think to myself, it's something a lot of people on forums I've been reading in the last few years are having to deal with, women who haven't grown up, just bigger versions of little girls. Yet if you don't man up, they'll call you a faggot, fun world isn't it...
Natural selection
Only the strong survive, is the thought process of a lot of folks. Interesting, as I recall my work experience at JFK. The undercover military elite guy kept provoking a reaction from me, making it clear that no matter where I went, he'd never leave me alone, he had nothing better to do but harass me. I shrug at it though. One good thing about getting older is that you really do have to kind of act your age, where as in the kiddie crap years you could get away with bullying people because you got nothing else, as a grown ass man, people kind of step off you because you look like someone who's of class and maturity. That's the best method of survival out there i've discovered. It's like when white people come to my neighborhood, the douche bag guys standing around calling out for "taxi rides" like idiots that they are, shut up real quick because they can't possibly even begin to think that a clean cut white person would want to get in a car with them.
Nevermind that there's a bunch of poor as dirt white folks living around here. New york is funny, probably the only place in the world where prettymuch any race or gender can get where they want to get because we're pretty serious around here when it comes to freedom. hmmmmm, I mean as far as anyone's concerned everything is paper work. You can be a child rapist, no one gives a shit as long as you got the degree and more importantly can get the job done. Nothing works without paper work, and indeed it's why they stress writing in schools because when you get to work, everything is writing, even little shit like employee reports, and of course planning out the next day's events. Shitty job like target required my supervisor to ALWAYS write down every little thing about her subordinate's work ethic etc. Very interesting...
Gotta eat. People will do anything for money, man, die in combat, work a shitty job like food service, whatever the case, money's everything in this goddamn society. Ya can definitely make it without it. plenty of places round new york to just chill without cash in yo pocket, we throw away more food than we'll ever eat, truth be told there's a lot of people living homeless in the city and it's not that bad because we have too much stuff anyway. What else was I going to say...can't remember. But overall my point is that I can't really stand the whole "I'm your superior" bullshit that we do in this country, because there's no like law or anything, people just want to make money and fuck, not provide good services or improve themselves or none of that shit like you'll get told to do by old ass people in this world who see you aren't yet too old yet so they expect you to bust your ass in school forever, and in fact some people never leave school, can't take on the real world, so they stay in school for the rest of their days... I don't really fear the real world any more though. just get a job, do it real good, make money. What's so complicated about that. The only problem is that people feel that they have every right to fuck with you as if yo can't just kick their ass in return, but whatever man...
Nevermind that there's a bunch of poor as dirt white folks living around here. New york is funny, probably the only place in the world where prettymuch any race or gender can get where they want to get because we're pretty serious around here when it comes to freedom. hmmmmm, I mean as far as anyone's concerned everything is paper work. You can be a child rapist, no one gives a shit as long as you got the degree and more importantly can get the job done. Nothing works without paper work, and indeed it's why they stress writing in schools because when you get to work, everything is writing, even little shit like employee reports, and of course planning out the next day's events. Shitty job like target required my supervisor to ALWAYS write down every little thing about her subordinate's work ethic etc. Very interesting...
Gotta eat. People will do anything for money, man, die in combat, work a shitty job like food service, whatever the case, money's everything in this goddamn society. Ya can definitely make it without it. plenty of places round new york to just chill without cash in yo pocket, we throw away more food than we'll ever eat, truth be told there's a lot of people living homeless in the city and it's not that bad because we have too much stuff anyway. What else was I going to say...can't remember. But overall my point is that I can't really stand the whole "I'm your superior" bullshit that we do in this country, because there's no like law or anything, people just want to make money and fuck, not provide good services or improve themselves or none of that shit like you'll get told to do by old ass people in this world who see you aren't yet too old yet so they expect you to bust your ass in school forever, and in fact some people never leave school, can't take on the real world, so they stay in school for the rest of their days... I don't really fear the real world any more though. just get a job, do it real good, make money. What's so complicated about that. The only problem is that people feel that they have every right to fuck with you as if yo can't just kick their ass in return, but whatever man...
Jesus christ look at this shit
Kate's Playground - The ball
Uploaded by Drone55448. - Check out sexy vids. Caution - NSFW!
She looks just like one of those girls I used to see in my zoology class, ditzy, dumb spoiled little princess no doubt. Looking to get married to a rich dude, one hell of a method to find one, becoming a porn star. I think she'll succeed.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Ronda Next Chapter
Man I'm bored, panicking a little bit because mentally I'm still very addicted to porn ya know, but that's what people who have regular sex every night want from me, to be so fucked up that I'm willing to do whatever they want to get laid. Yeah when I was in the airforce last year, that was the whole incentive to work for them, you'll get pussy from the sluts of the military. I implore young men thinking about joining, to not join. It's a big ass, what do you call it, orgy fest with guns and if you're not going to slam their girls, like me, you'll be kicked out labeled a fag and that's all she wrote. That's adulthood in case any kid is curious about what they'll soon face. I see kids all the time now that it's summer, and I'm happy that they're happy, but I know what's about to come shooting out of their privates in about 5 years, and how miserable a time they're going to have figuring out how to deal with it. So very young though... clueless youth.
As for the title. I've begun conceptualizing the future of my ronda hentai series. NC is much like any third part in a trilogy, it's a callback to the first part with some tweaks. She's entirely nude from the start this time. After the events of Eden storyline, Ronda accepts her sexual power, that being naked gives her an advantage in battle since it distracts her opponents. So we start simply her working for the AD Police department just like in the old days. She still looks like herself even at 35 since she's saiyan. Her daughter Eden is a school teacher now. Eve's technology from the future how she uses sperm to fuel her time machine, is now a huge kinda like an industry at capsule corporation.
I'm kinda leaning towards not using Eden in the story line at all since this is supposed to go back to ronda. Ronda works nights as a sperm receptical. We start off as she battles some bog beasts in a remote very grungy place ya know, where she's collecting their semen, the hard way. Remember in the original bog beast story at the end of it, Ronda was so full of semen that she nearly burst from the expulsion of it from her body. Now she has to get filled up then vomit and fart it all out into a containment unit like in ghostbusters. And she gets paid a decent wage for it. Gotta eat ya know...
I have this idea that she's getting tired of doing the work all by herself so she has to train a new girl to help collect semen with her. Either I'll do it that way, or I'll have it be that she gets her daughter to join her. That's a good way of like getting them back into the groove of things, but Eden truly has moved on and become a teacher, and she has her own daughter to worry about anyway. I'm still trying to figure this out.
Then there's Ronda's new daughter who I'm thinking of calling Angela. She's going to be fun to put in if I ever get to it. Angela's her name. Ronda gets pregnant while captured and fucked by a badass warrior of the kunta kinte clan. I'm going to make it that she falls in love and marries the father of her new child, and that'll be the true ending of her story. Angela's is where I'm going next. She's going to be the leader of the next generation of a team of girl fighters. One is her own niece Eve. And the other the daughter of her mother's arch nemesis Verona, barbara. Barbara is the offspring of both verona and lena, the namekian hybrid, so she has regenerative capabilities and all the super powers of a saiyan like her mother. They'll all be trained by Ronda to be strong and fight a whole new crop of baddies if I ever get around to it.
Then there's a side story I've already done parts of, but lost it unfortunately when I left to lackland, someone must have tossed it. It was a good start. It's eden's story, after the events of Eden. She fights ghosts like a ghostbuster, only she contains them in her ass before putting them in the containment unit. Something she does for money with her friend who's basically a girl egon. I modeled Eden after velma from scooby doo, so now it's like if velma were to capture ghosts and goblins with her pussy and ass instead of all that scooby doo mystery crap. I'm a little strange thanks to watching some weird shit in the old days...
What the fuck else... *gets book full of concepts and ideas.* I wish I still had that red binder with all my concept sketches in it. I did a really detailed though useless to the storyline sketch of ronda and verona at ages 50. The whole thing was about the days after the events of Eden... how the characters age etc. Much like GT, now that damn thing's gone. I hate losing my work. It's part of being an artist though, got to be willing to lose your shit and have to redo it...
Ok, well I see all my ideas are the same in the book as they were as I wrote them here... well one last thing that I did waaaay the hell back at 16 which I remember well because that was the entire ending to the series, as a whole. Every single character would be at the beach during a biggest titties contest, based on all the wet t shirt contests I've ever watched. It starts off normal then because ronda and verona's tits grow with each upgrade in power, they have a little battle to see who can out boob the other. What else... then this fighter shows up, lookin like that robo bitch from ghost in the shell 2. She wipes the floor with every single fighter. How the fuck is this the case? We already defeated the eden droid who was the worst of the worst right? Well this bitch is on a whole nother level. Ronda takes her on in super saiyan 4 mode and gets pwnd. Eden goes after her next and puts up more of a fight. It's only through their combined efforts that they defeat this bitch. Who is she? She's not gero's creation at all, no she's actually a bitch from the future, sent through time to specifically do something at this particular moment, that's why she's so tough to beat. I end the series as ronda and verona figure it's up to them to find out what's up and both dissapear into the time machine to go kick ass in the infinite time and space. That's how my girls roll...
As for the title. I've begun conceptualizing the future of my ronda hentai series. NC is much like any third part in a trilogy, it's a callback to the first part with some tweaks. She's entirely nude from the start this time. After the events of Eden storyline, Ronda accepts her sexual power, that being naked gives her an advantage in battle since it distracts her opponents. So we start simply her working for the AD Police department just like in the old days. She still looks like herself even at 35 since she's saiyan. Her daughter Eden is a school teacher now. Eve's technology from the future how she uses sperm to fuel her time machine, is now a huge kinda like an industry at capsule corporation.
I'm kinda leaning towards not using Eden in the story line at all since this is supposed to go back to ronda. Ronda works nights as a sperm receptical. We start off as she battles some bog beasts in a remote very grungy place ya know, where she's collecting their semen, the hard way. Remember in the original bog beast story at the end of it, Ronda was so full of semen that she nearly burst from the expulsion of it from her body. Now she has to get filled up then vomit and fart it all out into a containment unit like in ghostbusters. And she gets paid a decent wage for it. Gotta eat ya know...
I have this idea that she's getting tired of doing the work all by herself so she has to train a new girl to help collect semen with her. Either I'll do it that way, or I'll have it be that she gets her daughter to join her. That's a good way of like getting them back into the groove of things, but Eden truly has moved on and become a teacher, and she has her own daughter to worry about anyway. I'm still trying to figure this out.
Then there's Ronda's new daughter who I'm thinking of calling Angela. She's going to be fun to put in if I ever get to it. Angela's her name. Ronda gets pregnant while captured and fucked by a badass warrior of the kunta kinte clan. I'm going to make it that she falls in love and marries the father of her new child, and that'll be the true ending of her story. Angela's is where I'm going next. She's going to be the leader of the next generation of a team of girl fighters. One is her own niece Eve. And the other the daughter of her mother's arch nemesis Verona, barbara. Barbara is the offspring of both verona and lena, the namekian hybrid, so she has regenerative capabilities and all the super powers of a saiyan like her mother. They'll all be trained by Ronda to be strong and fight a whole new crop of baddies if I ever get around to it.
Then there's a side story I've already done parts of, but lost it unfortunately when I left to lackland, someone must have tossed it. It was a good start. It's eden's story, after the events of Eden. She fights ghosts like a ghostbuster, only she contains them in her ass before putting them in the containment unit. Something she does for money with her friend who's basically a girl egon. I modeled Eden after velma from scooby doo, so now it's like if velma were to capture ghosts and goblins with her pussy and ass instead of all that scooby doo mystery crap. I'm a little strange thanks to watching some weird shit in the old days...
What the fuck else... *gets book full of concepts and ideas.* I wish I still had that red binder with all my concept sketches in it. I did a really detailed though useless to the storyline sketch of ronda and verona at ages 50. The whole thing was about the days after the events of Eden... how the characters age etc. Much like GT, now that damn thing's gone. I hate losing my work. It's part of being an artist though, got to be willing to lose your shit and have to redo it...
Ok, well I see all my ideas are the same in the book as they were as I wrote them here... well one last thing that I did waaaay the hell back at 16 which I remember well because that was the entire ending to the series, as a whole. Every single character would be at the beach during a biggest titties contest, based on all the wet t shirt contests I've ever watched. It starts off normal then because ronda and verona's tits grow with each upgrade in power, they have a little battle to see who can out boob the other. What else... then this fighter shows up, lookin like that robo bitch from ghost in the shell 2. She wipes the floor with every single fighter. How the fuck is this the case? We already defeated the eden droid who was the worst of the worst right? Well this bitch is on a whole nother level. Ronda takes her on in super saiyan 4 mode and gets pwnd. Eden goes after her next and puts up more of a fight. It's only through their combined efforts that they defeat this bitch. Who is she? She's not gero's creation at all, no she's actually a bitch from the future, sent through time to specifically do something at this particular moment, that's why she's so tough to beat. I end the series as ronda and verona figure it's up to them to find out what's up and both dissapear into the time machine to go kick ass in the infinite time and space. That's how my girls roll...
Grown man type shit
Can't stand kids. Never really liked them when I was one and now not only do I have to deal with the older versions of them, but the younger versions too. Good thing I'm confident in my knowledge of child psychology since I was one once and for all that really matters, still am one as I continue searching for employment so I can finally get some pussy and "grow up" as people keep in insisting I do, same as them. I'd love to "grow up" but that's way out of my hands, nigga, pale nigga, gotta wait. No bitch over 18 + not yet impregnated, wants to get with a guy who doesn't have a steady paycheck.
Need time, is all. I love not being a kid anymore though. Girls are hot and sexy to look at. I don't have to give a damn about what people think of me because technically I'm free to be whoever I damn want to be in this country, technically. It's just people in charge of the world and if they want to just fuck you over, there's nothing you can do about it.
That's why my I'm turning gay. Like I said waaaay back, you try to be a no bullshit black alpha male in this world, you'll get shot. You a fruit loop, you gonna be fine. It's like that guy on ugly betty that one episode, terrible pussy girly crap shoe for fags, but he's a smart black man, claims if he didn't act gay, he wouldn't have gotten the job in an all female environment, genius. I go to job interviews with males right. And I act like myself, just another dumbass black kid, and the men interviewing me kind of are ok with me, they love pussy too, we're on the same side, but forget about it if you're getting interviewed by a woman, if you act like a badass, she'll want nothing to do with you, gotta gay it up a little.
Why is that? I think deep down women know that a big tough man can easily get their pussy wet and make them lose control of their composure so they don't keep up that tough exterior at the job. I saw right through that airforce bitch who was acting all manly to me. If she was 18 again, I'd EASILY fuck her sexy blonde ass. I'm fucking handsome, with an athletic build, not my fault... Don't be mad at me because of it.
Same with sabrina frato. All these bitches, I KNOW now actually want to be like pursued by guys like me who don't look too bad. That's funny, cuz back in high school they loved do nothing more than piss all over me. Fuck all of them imo.
And fuck kids.
Need time, is all. I love not being a kid anymore though. Girls are hot and sexy to look at. I don't have to give a damn about what people think of me because technically I'm free to be whoever I damn want to be in this country, technically. It's just people in charge of the world and if they want to just fuck you over, there's nothing you can do about it.
That's why my I'm turning gay. Like I said waaaay back, you try to be a no bullshit black alpha male in this world, you'll get shot. You a fruit loop, you gonna be fine. It's like that guy on ugly betty that one episode, terrible pussy girly crap shoe for fags, but he's a smart black man, claims if he didn't act gay, he wouldn't have gotten the job in an all female environment, genius. I go to job interviews with males right. And I act like myself, just another dumbass black kid, and the men interviewing me kind of are ok with me, they love pussy too, we're on the same side, but forget about it if you're getting interviewed by a woman, if you act like a badass, she'll want nothing to do with you, gotta gay it up a little.
Why is that? I think deep down women know that a big tough man can easily get their pussy wet and make them lose control of their composure so they don't keep up that tough exterior at the job. I saw right through that airforce bitch who was acting all manly to me. If she was 18 again, I'd EASILY fuck her sexy blonde ass. I'm fucking handsome, with an athletic build, not my fault... Don't be mad at me because of it.
Same with sabrina frato. All these bitches, I KNOW now actually want to be like pursued by guys like me who don't look too bad. That's funny, cuz back in high school they loved do nothing more than piss all over me. Fuck all of them imo.
And fuck kids.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
searching craigslist
trying to find a good job, one where I'm not working too hard. I'm just kind of tired of working hard to be honest. I've done nothing but that all my life in highest hopes it would lead somewhere. All I know now is that the world is run by big kindergarteners, not no super smart nothing, though we have some elite people, they're just as clueless as anybody about what's right or wrong on a more factual field. I mean I should just forget it because it was what it was, a big joke, but bmt really woke me up to the fact that people are just big children. *wipes sweat off face* and the only difference between the insane child world and the even more insane adult world is sex, which no one even wants to talk about.
"to hell with you buddy, I got my pussy at home to fuck, so whatever." that's how it is...
Even though I've been struggling to tackle both life and my own sex drive, yeah at least I don't have a kid to worry about. Lots of people can't go a month without sex. I've gone my whole life so far, and despite not being as young as I used to be, I'm more free than the genius who got a woman pregnant and now has to worry about making enough money to take care of their kid. Now of course here's the joke. I'm black. I always thought it was strange how every school I went to for the most part had a handful of white kids, and very certainly not one white girl getting near our schools full of horny black and hispanic youth. I'm certainly not saying all white people are racist, but when it comes down to it, they really don't want to get too much hot white girl ass near black guys' dicks. Just reading forums full of white people, yeah, they have to make an effort not to be racist. "Oh well, the light skinned blacks aren't so bad..." that kind of thing...
I laugh at it, but it's seriously a real problem at all levels in society, that i never really thought about, racism is real, and persistent. I mean life goes on anyway regardless, but to have someone who's in charge of people's lives be an immature little douche bag doesn't sit right with me. But yes that's who's in charge. and they don't care because they're rubbing their face into a warm pair of titties every night, so to hell with you.
"to hell with you buddy, I got my pussy at home to fuck, so whatever." that's how it is...
Even though I've been struggling to tackle both life and my own sex drive, yeah at least I don't have a kid to worry about. Lots of people can't go a month without sex. I've gone my whole life so far, and despite not being as young as I used to be, I'm more free than the genius who got a woman pregnant and now has to worry about making enough money to take care of their kid. Now of course here's the joke. I'm black. I always thought it was strange how every school I went to for the most part had a handful of white kids, and very certainly not one white girl getting near our schools full of horny black and hispanic youth. I'm certainly not saying all white people are racist, but when it comes down to it, they really don't want to get too much hot white girl ass near black guys' dicks. Just reading forums full of white people, yeah, they have to make an effort not to be racist. "Oh well, the light skinned blacks aren't so bad..." that kind of thing...
I laugh at it, but it's seriously a real problem at all levels in society, that i never really thought about, racism is real, and persistent. I mean life goes on anyway regardless, but to have someone who's in charge of people's lives be an immature little douche bag doesn't sit right with me. But yes that's who's in charge. and they don't care because they're rubbing their face into a warm pair of titties every night, so to hell with you.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Internet is the new MTV
Disclaimer: This is all theory type ish btw.
I realize something. Just as I used to prettymuch live my life on cable tv channels like mtv, awaiting my favorite music video to come on, try my best to get through that douche bag boy band shit, and fall in love with chritina aguafabla before and definitely after she became a slutty bimbo, that's prettymuch what the internet is to me now.
MTV was THE place to find the pulse of popular culture in the 90s... As a kid around 12 and 13, all the real atmosphere of the time that I can remember revolved around whatever popular videos were on. Thong song, lauren hill, michael jackson still kickin it back then, then of course it became more about boy and girl bands. All that same shit has shifted now online. All the gossip about stuff, who's wearing what, videos, and music all available online, and of course the interactivity too which trl kind of pioneered with its call in to a live broadcast. Internet's one big TRL now for whatever that's worth...
This is interesting because MTV used to be a huge phenomenon. YTMND for instance sort of captured that same level of popularity, and that part of my brain that is very forward thinking, believes it could probably take its place only on an internet front. But just as mtv got too big for itself and turned into another over corporatized shell of its former rebellious roots, the internet's going down that same path...
That's going to be the test, whether the net can continue to be a free for all, anything goes kind of place vs a sleak corporate machine where the thought police try to quiet dissenting views like every corporation does... i feel it's unfortunately leaning too far into 1984 territory. Thank God for that book, if it does nothing else, it reminds us of why we need a free society, because if you don't fight for your freedom, someone will very gladly take it away from you.
I realize something. Just as I used to prettymuch live my life on cable tv channels like mtv, awaiting my favorite music video to come on, try my best to get through that douche bag boy band shit, and fall in love with chritina aguafabla before and definitely after she became a slutty bimbo, that's prettymuch what the internet is to me now.
MTV was THE place to find the pulse of popular culture in the 90s... As a kid around 12 and 13, all the real atmosphere of the time that I can remember revolved around whatever popular videos were on. Thong song, lauren hill, michael jackson still kickin it back then, then of course it became more about boy and girl bands. All that same shit has shifted now online. All the gossip about stuff, who's wearing what, videos, and music all available online, and of course the interactivity too which trl kind of pioneered with its call in to a live broadcast. Internet's one big TRL now for whatever that's worth...
This is interesting because MTV used to be a huge phenomenon. YTMND for instance sort of captured that same level of popularity, and that part of my brain that is very forward thinking, believes it could probably take its place only on an internet front. But just as mtv got too big for itself and turned into another over corporatized shell of its former rebellious roots, the internet's going down that same path...
That's going to be the test, whether the net can continue to be a free for all, anything goes kind of place vs a sleak corporate machine where the thought police try to quiet dissenting views like every corporation does... i feel it's unfortunately leaning too far into 1984 territory. Thank God for that book, if it does nothing else, it reminds us of why we need a free society, because if you don't fight for your freedom, someone will very gladly take it away from you.
I like to have it CUT
Immortal words of Doctor charles, military super spy, who i used to work with as a ramp agent. Asshole basically kept toying with my mind every single fucking time we interacted at the job. That's the REAL WORLD everyone says is so cruel and fucked up. I just call it high school personally. ONE DAY at my first high school you'll want to pop a bullet in your head. So to suddenly give me a paycheck for having to deal with less abuse is, frankly, perfectly fine. That's the funny thing about life. You do get stronger the more you persist through harder and harder times without giving up. Don't go crazy and think you don't need to be cautious about it, but yeah sometimes sticking through a rough patch yields some rewards indeed.
Anyway, got all my hair cut off today. Figured it was time to start over with growing it. I foolishly thought putting vasaline in it was a good idea, and since then it's been a mess and I couldn't bother trying to fix it so it's gone now, starting a fresh batch that will hopefully not get too crazy.
Drinking water too. My headache is still there from the masturbation craving. I'm aware of how most people are prettymuch in the same boat, got to get some sexual relief from time to time, so why the blue fuck do these guys expect me to live without a similar situation to relieve my stress. I'll say it once again, for the most part, adulthood is about having a ton of awesome sex, period. Not about doing anything of particular merit, or studying a bunch of crap, it's work, sex, work, more sex. Sex is the most powerful drug on earth, hands down.
Well I got me a method of dealing with it so I'm kinda not too put off by it anymore, so whatever. And I'm so fucking tired of thinking about dealing with people's nonsense. Whether it be the military, or those who want to see me dead. I'm not going anywhere, probably for the next 45 years, I'll be around, then I'll kill myself painlessly. I want to buy a yacht, I want to sail the oceans, see the world, then fuck off this rock without a trace.
Anyway, got all my hair cut off today. Figured it was time to start over with growing it. I foolishly thought putting vasaline in it was a good idea, and since then it's been a mess and I couldn't bother trying to fix it so it's gone now, starting a fresh batch that will hopefully not get too crazy.
Drinking water too. My headache is still there from the masturbation craving. I'm aware of how most people are prettymuch in the same boat, got to get some sexual relief from time to time, so why the blue fuck do these guys expect me to live without a similar situation to relieve my stress. I'll say it once again, for the most part, adulthood is about having a ton of awesome sex, period. Not about doing anything of particular merit, or studying a bunch of crap, it's work, sex, work, more sex. Sex is the most powerful drug on earth, hands down.
Well I got me a method of dealing with it so I'm kinda not too put off by it anymore, so whatever. And I'm so fucking tired of thinking about dealing with people's nonsense. Whether it be the military, or those who want to see me dead. I'm not going anywhere, probably for the next 45 years, I'll be around, then I'll kill myself painlessly. I want to buy a yacht, I want to sail the oceans, see the world, then fuck off this rock without a trace.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Joining the Army part whatever
Sucks man. I relapsed today. Got transfixed on anal porn and couldn't help myself. I feel like punishing myself, joining the army ya know. The only way to keep my mind off porn I think, but the airforce bmt was so offputting. They break you down to the level of a ignorant child listening to parents, particularly white parents ordering you to do whatever they fucking tell you to do, meanwhile they go home every night and make real porn, while your dumb ass is thinking you're serving your country and all that crap. Listen to me and listen well, the world is built by a bunch of sex crazed monkeys known as humans. All this shit about getting diplomas, and degrees, etc, nonsense... are you hot? can you suck a mean dick? That'll get you A LOT farther in life than any of that academic stuff.
Everything we do is for sex. Period. nuff said. We went to the moon to see if there were hot chicks there. We fight wars to keep some assholes away from our women so we can still have a nice hot fuck at the end of the night. We get jobs to pay for sex.
That's it. Fin. There's no great religious nothing at work in our lives. We're bound to very basic animal instincts. To succeed, build a nest, fuck, make kids, then train them to survive. And around and around it goes...
Everything we do is for sex. Period. nuff said. We went to the moon to see if there were hot chicks there. We fight wars to keep some assholes away from our women so we can still have a nice hot fuck at the end of the night. We get jobs to pay for sex.
That's it. Fin. There's no great religious nothing at work in our lives. We're bound to very basic animal instincts. To succeed, build a nest, fuck, make kids, then train them to survive. And around and around it goes...
I love black women
Having been out and about thanks to the great weather in new york these days, I've made up my mind, can't really get my dick up that hard for white chicks, there's just something sexier about black women to me, maybe it's cuz I'm black too, but man, the way their asses move and the smoothness of their bodies, and the way the boobs look, and if she's got a cute face, HEAVEN. No wonder a lot of white guys go black... Not a bad deal...
Progress report on my current health. The water thing I discovered while in the military has done a great job so far I'd say in helping me concentrate more on other things besides getting that fucking endorphin high from masturbating. I'm a water man from here on till I'm dead. Ya know, who'd have guessed the fundamental part of all life on this planet would increase your healthiness. We got to stop filling our bodies with garbage.
i'm thinner, I look at my face in the mirror and it's what I was so desperate to achieve during my teen years, actually kind of cut and lean like a body builders. Little did I know that those guys look like that because they don't eat burgers and fries nor drink sodas like I did. And i don't even body build. I could and likely will when I have the resources to get to the gym... Definitely can benefit from it. I have an athletic body, a soldier's body since I come from one's dick. That's why it always pissed me off in high school that other kids would insist I was weak when if I had an athletic body hiding under my school uniform. Assholes... If I knew what to do, I'd have gotten in some ridiculous shape back then, but that school was garbage, what can I say...
Oh well. On to more important things... GIRLS. All kinds of super hot bitches. GOD DAMN! summer is the best time of the year! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww mmmmmm yesssssssssss!!1
Progress report on my current health. The water thing I discovered while in the military has done a great job so far I'd say in helping me concentrate more on other things besides getting that fucking endorphin high from masturbating. I'm a water man from here on till I'm dead. Ya know, who'd have guessed the fundamental part of all life on this planet would increase your healthiness. We got to stop filling our bodies with garbage.
i'm thinner, I look at my face in the mirror and it's what I was so desperate to achieve during my teen years, actually kind of cut and lean like a body builders. Little did I know that those guys look like that because they don't eat burgers and fries nor drink sodas like I did. And i don't even body build. I could and likely will when I have the resources to get to the gym... Definitely can benefit from it. I have an athletic body, a soldier's body since I come from one's dick. That's why it always pissed me off in high school that other kids would insist I was weak when if I had an athletic body hiding under my school uniform. Assholes... If I knew what to do, I'd have gotten in some ridiculous shape back then, but that school was garbage, what can I say...
Oh well. On to more important things... GIRLS. All kinds of super hot bitches. GOD DAMN! summer is the best time of the year! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww mmmmmm yesssssssssss!!1
Must be the vitamin D
Vitamin D is purported to be made in the body when when we're in direct sunlight. I read this years ago for some reason, can't remember. Must have been researching sunblocks because I wanted to find ways to shield my skin during summer. My mom is either fucking with me or she's being helpful when she tells me that some sunblocks actually tan your skin more, making you blacker. I say "that makes no damn sense" yet she persists and tries to get me to not bother with any. And of course I didn't. Lord knows if it mattered because as usual my head and arms are the darkest parts of me, my chest and legs being the only parts that remember my original skin tone since they never got sun most of my life.
I thought once that perhaps my mental health was affected by low sun exposure. We're supposed to get sun believe it or not. Don't and you'll be unhealthier as time goes on. It's not only the primary source for all energy on this planet, but it gives your body necessary vitamins which help keep your bones strong etc.
So it's march, spring is here at last. This ain't even the beginning of the real deal type heat, but it's not bad outside, girls are starting to show off their knockers, mmmmmmmmmmm yes. Was on the bus yesterday just going down to new roc to walk around and shit, and this girl was probably freaken 17, but who cares, she was sportin the cleavage, and basically it was just ass and titties all over the place all day. Manhatten must be bustling with half naked girls now that the weather's good. I wish I could go down there but I have no reason to really, the only reason I got any hint of all the nude bitches down there last year was because I went to some, what was it, workforce bullshit...
Good ass times though. Because if you want to see bikini babes, don't have to go to no beach. TONS of girls just walkin around in the city showing off what they got.
AWwwwwwwwwwwwwww fuck it. Life's too short. I'm going to the city today or tomorrow. I remember I was on the train once and for the life of me, I don't understand why but this gorgeous indian girl might as well have been topless she was just sitting there with her titty dangling half way out her very low cut top. She wanted to get fucked, I realize now in hindsight. That's how they bait men, so stupid, but whatever...
I lovvvvvvvvvvvvveeee this towwwwwwwwwwwwwn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought once that perhaps my mental health was affected by low sun exposure. We're supposed to get sun believe it or not. Don't and you'll be unhealthier as time goes on. It's not only the primary source for all energy on this planet, but it gives your body necessary vitamins which help keep your bones strong etc.
So it's march, spring is here at last. This ain't even the beginning of the real deal type heat, but it's not bad outside, girls are starting to show off their knockers, mmmmmmmmmmm yes. Was on the bus yesterday just going down to new roc to walk around and shit, and this girl was probably freaken 17, but who cares, she was sportin the cleavage, and basically it was just ass and titties all over the place all day. Manhatten must be bustling with half naked girls now that the weather's good. I wish I could go down there but I have no reason to really, the only reason I got any hint of all the nude bitches down there last year was because I went to some, what was it, workforce bullshit...
Good ass times though. Because if you want to see bikini babes, don't have to go to no beach. TONS of girls just walkin around in the city showing off what they got.
AWwwwwwwwwwwwwww fuck it. Life's too short. I'm going to the city today or tomorrow. I remember I was on the train once and for the life of me, I don't understand why but this gorgeous indian girl might as well have been topless she was just sitting there with her titty dangling half way out her very low cut top. She wanted to get fucked, I realize now in hindsight. That's how they bait men, so stupid, but whatever...
I lovvvvvvvvvvvvveeee this towwwwwwwwwwwwwn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Ghostbusters videogame review
I've decided to review the game here today even though it came out last year. I bought it on a shopping spree with my sister and my niece, 13 year old supa diva, right after I got back from having some asshole asian dude shove a broom handle into my butt crack down at lackland, what fun.
It's a fucking ghostbusters videogame the first ever made for consoles, well that's not true, they made some ass fest of a game for the nintendo, then they made extreme gb for the ps1, both sucking cock. This game however is the first attempt at making a good gb game.
I was thrilled to see the original cast was back. The only thing that kind of irked me was that it's just random, there's no cartoon anymore, no comics, no nothing, but for the hell of it, they made a game. But whatever, right, something's better than nothing.
It does however leave a bitter aftertaste knowing this game SHOULD have come out at least during the early 2000s when toon disney aired both the rgb and extreme gb toons for kids to watch and still get a taste of gbs. Releasing it now really is just late, as if they were to make a truly badass great rendition of a star wars game when no movie was coming out or anything.
In fact that's exactly what we're seeing now. Releasing star wars games is kind of lame without a movie to anticipate in conjunction.
So onto the game. It's full of interesting ideas, and surprisingly good humor and writing. I'd say it's about on par with ghostbusters 2 storywise, both stories being like decent episodes of the cartoon series, but no where near the excellence on display in the first movie. They certainly spent a lot of time creating cool level designs. But the whole kind of 3rd person shooter perspective thing is dissapointing. I'd like to walk around like in GTA, do flips and rolls, jump into the ecto 1 and drive it. After being able to fly a plane under a bridge, then parachute out into the ocean and swim to shore, these guys got to step it up. Looking past that, just the nostalgic walk through memory lane is fun. You get to chill in the fire house, slide down the pole, all of this stuff taking me back to the early 90s when I'd see commercials for gb ecto cooler and of course the gb2 movie itself which I saw at 5 years old forever cementing gb as brilliant in my mind. That movie changed me.
It's good stuff, in fact the only stuff in the game that works are the parts that are directly related to the first and second film. The whole new recruit thing should have been left out. There's only 4 gbs, the way it should be, 5 counting luis who is sorely missed. Such a staple of the first 2 films just suddenly poof gone in the official semi-sequel is jarring. No one even acknowledges his absence, nor danas. Which makes the game seem even more like an episode of the cartoon than an actual sequel to the films.
And here's where the game kind of flops. there are episodes I can name of the cartoon made 2 decades ago that are more interesting, dramatic, memorable and fun than the game's story. How does that happen? Ragnarok and roll completely owns this game's storyline. Not even to mention Night game, which is just incredible creative writing. Not a proton pack used in the whole episode yet it's one of the best. So many more that delve into who the gbs are as people trying to keep their business afloat. The game introduces an interesting problem. Every time the gbs go out for a bust, they get into more and more debt to the city, which would have been an interesting aspect to explore as you as the player try not to go overboard, yet nothing's done with it. You see the money accumulating, but whatever, blow up as much as you want, no one's going to give a shit.
You get equipment upgrades throughout the game though that are cool as hell, similar to how the guys built slime blowers in gb2, and in the Extreme gb series, egon had to overhaul all the equipment since the old stuff didn't work on newer ghosts. Same kind of applies here except that the game could have done more with the concept of purchasble upgrades. Make it random busts that give you money, not money earned from just going through the storyline. I like how the nintendo gb game gave you a fixed budget on equipment and proton packs and traps. Couldn't afford all the shit you needed to bust ghosts and make bank? Tough. Just like in the real world, you either play it smart and strategize or you fail. Here you can prettymuch succeed in the game with nothing more than the slime blower and the proton pack. The ice blower and the nuclear blast thingy don't really matter in the grand scope of the game. And if they're going to add wacky new equipment, why not put in something that doesn't come out of the proton pack. The fun thing about gb is that it's like they're soldiers/exterminators, who are so damn smart they can whip up a badass gadget in a moment's notice. Level after level of shoot this with your proton pack stream got boring, sorry. Even in the cartoon they got bored with nothing but zap and traps and decided to have the gbs tackle ghosts without them at times, using nothing more than their vast knowledge of the supernatural or in winston's case his spiritual beliefs. None of that in the game. And what's up with them calling winston the slow one?
Overall, it's a decent start. Not the most complex game, ain't no metal gear ghostbuster, but it's not completely stupid and simple fluff either. Being stuck in one boring looking position the whole game is lame, my biggest problem with it. If it were a pilot for a new cgi series, that'd be even more appropriate. I can definitely see a lot of love and care taken in at least trying to live up to the original films, but it's all superficial. The story doesn't necessarily work as a true sequel though it's as if you were to actually honest to god take the original characters and bring them to life in a new way, like a time capsule kind of thing. That was cool, but man, it's still kind of like ironically watching ghosts of the past walking around as plastic looking cgi this time. Why not just have the same story using the actor's current ages, I wouldn't have minded. It's not like the cartoon didn't say fuck it and totally change the character's looks.
In short. Good enough game, late to the party, definitely one for long time fans to add to their collection...
It's a fucking ghostbusters videogame the first ever made for consoles, well that's not true, they made some ass fest of a game for the nintendo, then they made extreme gb for the ps1, both sucking cock. This game however is the first attempt at making a good gb game.
I was thrilled to see the original cast was back. The only thing that kind of irked me was that it's just random, there's no cartoon anymore, no comics, no nothing, but for the hell of it, they made a game. But whatever, right, something's better than nothing.
It does however leave a bitter aftertaste knowing this game SHOULD have come out at least during the early 2000s when toon disney aired both the rgb and extreme gb toons for kids to watch and still get a taste of gbs. Releasing it now really is just late, as if they were to make a truly badass great rendition of a star wars game when no movie was coming out or anything.
In fact that's exactly what we're seeing now. Releasing star wars games is kind of lame without a movie to anticipate in conjunction.
So onto the game. It's full of interesting ideas, and surprisingly good humor and writing. I'd say it's about on par with ghostbusters 2 storywise, both stories being like decent episodes of the cartoon series, but no where near the excellence on display in the first movie. They certainly spent a lot of time creating cool level designs. But the whole kind of 3rd person shooter perspective thing is dissapointing. I'd like to walk around like in GTA, do flips and rolls, jump into the ecto 1 and drive it. After being able to fly a plane under a bridge, then parachute out into the ocean and swim to shore, these guys got to step it up. Looking past that, just the nostalgic walk through memory lane is fun. You get to chill in the fire house, slide down the pole, all of this stuff taking me back to the early 90s when I'd see commercials for gb ecto cooler and of course the gb2 movie itself which I saw at 5 years old forever cementing gb as brilliant in my mind. That movie changed me.
It's good stuff, in fact the only stuff in the game that works are the parts that are directly related to the first and second film. The whole new recruit thing should have been left out. There's only 4 gbs, the way it should be, 5 counting luis who is sorely missed. Such a staple of the first 2 films just suddenly poof gone in the official semi-sequel is jarring. No one even acknowledges his absence, nor danas. Which makes the game seem even more like an episode of the cartoon than an actual sequel to the films.
And here's where the game kind of flops. there are episodes I can name of the cartoon made 2 decades ago that are more interesting, dramatic, memorable and fun than the game's story. How does that happen? Ragnarok and roll completely owns this game's storyline. Not even to mention Night game, which is just incredible creative writing. Not a proton pack used in the whole episode yet it's one of the best. So many more that delve into who the gbs are as people trying to keep their business afloat. The game introduces an interesting problem. Every time the gbs go out for a bust, they get into more and more debt to the city, which would have been an interesting aspect to explore as you as the player try not to go overboard, yet nothing's done with it. You see the money accumulating, but whatever, blow up as much as you want, no one's going to give a shit.
You get equipment upgrades throughout the game though that are cool as hell, similar to how the guys built slime blowers in gb2, and in the Extreme gb series, egon had to overhaul all the equipment since the old stuff didn't work on newer ghosts. Same kind of applies here except that the game could have done more with the concept of purchasble upgrades. Make it random busts that give you money, not money earned from just going through the storyline. I like how the nintendo gb game gave you a fixed budget on equipment and proton packs and traps. Couldn't afford all the shit you needed to bust ghosts and make bank? Tough. Just like in the real world, you either play it smart and strategize or you fail. Here you can prettymuch succeed in the game with nothing more than the slime blower and the proton pack. The ice blower and the nuclear blast thingy don't really matter in the grand scope of the game. And if they're going to add wacky new equipment, why not put in something that doesn't come out of the proton pack. The fun thing about gb is that it's like they're soldiers/exterminators, who are so damn smart they can whip up a badass gadget in a moment's notice. Level after level of shoot this with your proton pack stream got boring, sorry. Even in the cartoon they got bored with nothing but zap and traps and decided to have the gbs tackle ghosts without them at times, using nothing more than their vast knowledge of the supernatural or in winston's case his spiritual beliefs. None of that in the game. And what's up with them calling winston the slow one?
Overall, it's a decent start. Not the most complex game, ain't no metal gear ghostbuster, but it's not completely stupid and simple fluff either. Being stuck in one boring looking position the whole game is lame, my biggest problem with it. If it were a pilot for a new cgi series, that'd be even more appropriate. I can definitely see a lot of love and care taken in at least trying to live up to the original films, but it's all superficial. The story doesn't necessarily work as a true sequel though it's as if you were to actually honest to god take the original characters and bring them to life in a new way, like a time capsule kind of thing. That was cool, but man, it's still kind of like ironically watching ghosts of the past walking around as plastic looking cgi this time. Why not just have the same story using the actor's current ages, I wouldn't have minded. It's not like the cartoon didn't say fuck it and totally change the character's looks.
In short. Good enough game, late to the party, definitely one for long time fans to add to their collection...
Sabrina Frato's soft breasts
Can't get them out of my mind. Last year, or was it 08, can't remember, she put her titties on my arm. So THAT'S what i've been missing out on while i foolishly concentrated on finishing my education. Oh shit.
I love girls, hate their attitude though. I knew when i met her that she was a condescending know it all. Add her model looks and of course you get a girl who thinks she deserves special treatment. Wouldn't have minded fucking her though. She had an ass that just wobbled while she walked, birthing hips, cute little face, waaaaaaaaaaay out of my league but she kept flirting and toying with me like girls do to get fucked.
But it's too damn late for me. How am I supposed to get with a girl who's been around the block a billion times already after prettymuch giving up on ever finding a nice piece of ass to ram.
really...
I can't stress enough how important it is to date while still stuck in high school years. Don't fuck, but get a girlfriend and get to know what it's like to squeeze her titties and shit, and THEN work on getting a good job. Or yeah, you'll be like me, having to wait until my late 20s to finally be marketable to females. I figure it'll be around a good 3 years until I've got the money and maturity to pay for a girlfriend.
And I mean pay. Don't buy into that bullshit about true love. Girls want your money. Period.
I love girls, hate their attitude though. I knew when i met her that she was a condescending know it all. Add her model looks and of course you get a girl who thinks she deserves special treatment. Wouldn't have minded fucking her though. She had an ass that just wobbled while she walked, birthing hips, cute little face, waaaaaaaaaaay out of my league but she kept flirting and toying with me like girls do to get fucked.
But it's too damn late for me. How am I supposed to get with a girl who's been around the block a billion times already after prettymuch giving up on ever finding a nice piece of ass to ram.
really...
I can't stress enough how important it is to date while still stuck in high school years. Don't fuck, but get a girlfriend and get to know what it's like to squeeze her titties and shit, and THEN work on getting a good job. Or yeah, you'll be like me, having to wait until my late 20s to finally be marketable to females. I figure it'll be around a good 3 years until I've got the money and maturity to pay for a girlfriend.
And I mean pay. Don't buy into that bullshit about true love. Girls want your money. Period.
Banned from CNN.com
It's their website, so they have carte blanche to ban anyone they wish, but it's more than indicative to me of precisely who is in charge of most media and what they "really" think of freedom of speech, which is to say that they believe only "their" speech is free. Who are they? Who else, but the rich white hetero christian conservative base at the center of all of american media... Conform or gtfo is their belief system, under all that's holy.
What a pile of bullshit. I mean, to hell with cnn imo. After reading their shit for a while, I began to see right through their biases, all that self serving corporate bullshit. They'd run stories on how terrible it is that kids hate school while not even touching the subject that maybe the schools aren't that good, it's the kid's fault period. My first high school was a hell hole, daily torture from fellow classmates. THAT's why they hate it. Not the homework. I LIKE math, science, history, art, but the bullshit you have to go through to excel in those areas is retarded.
Why'd they ban me? Because I told the truth. I don't give a damn about homosexuals. Some of the commentors there didn't like what I had to say and must have reported me to the mods and I got banned.
Love the internet.
What a pile of bullshit. I mean, to hell with cnn imo. After reading their shit for a while, I began to see right through their biases, all that self serving corporate bullshit. They'd run stories on how terrible it is that kids hate school while not even touching the subject that maybe the schools aren't that good, it's the kid's fault period. My first high school was a hell hole, daily torture from fellow classmates. THAT's why they hate it. Not the homework. I LIKE math, science, history, art, but the bullshit you have to go through to excel in those areas is retarded.
Why'd they ban me? Because I told the truth. I don't give a damn about homosexuals. Some of the commentors there didn't like what I had to say and must have reported me to the mods and I got banned.
Love the internet.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Good start today
I went out to play basketball, got some sun, saw some hot girls walking around. If I had it my way I'd live on a basketball court, only thing that really matters to me anymore to be honest. I just wish my body worked better so I could play harder, but perhaps that will come in time.
Funny thing that's kind of bugging me, but I know its nothing. My sister's a trained lawyer. Lawyers are supposed to create a moral vacume, in which they can like a soldier in the battle field, go all out and kill without feeling a bit of emotion towards their enemy. So she LOVES playing with my mind like I'm someone she can easily dominate and control. I go down stairs to ask about the chinese food she came to me and teased me about like a 5 year old, saying shit like "well I guess you don't want it if you're not responding, etc." which I was responding, but she wanted me to do more than just say "what" so I thinking it's harmless, go to her room and ask wtf she was talking about, and she says the food's in the kitchen, cool, nothing going wrong yet. Then I accidentally pull off the ring to some manakin she has in there. I'm like, wow, interesting craftsmanship because the thing's more complex than it looked. She goes batshit, wacks my leg, acts like I killed someone. That's what she's trained to do as a lawyer, go crazy over NOTHING. the thing can be screwed back on. I start off by asking her to calm down, then of course as I expected she tries to intimidate me and bully me and whines about how she has to adjust the stupid thing just right. Which is retarded because she's only visiting, she doesn't even live here most of the time, so the damn thing could have dissapeared and she'd never even know, she's just looking to get a rise out of me, something she's been trained to do I suppose.
Well she got what she wanted because I had to use all my will power to not beat the shit out of her today. That's sad, truly sad. That women feel they can very much get away with harassing and in this case assaulting a male who had no ill intentions towards them. She even kind of gave me a "im sorry for hitting you." but then continues to act like i specifically came into her room to fuck with her, which wasn't my intention, not this time anyway. I laughed it off, but it does hurt a bit to realize I can't really win with females. They're the weaker sex so they can always get away with beating on a male. The hard thing is learning to tolerate that kind of shit.
Funny thing that's kind of bugging me, but I know its nothing. My sister's a trained lawyer. Lawyers are supposed to create a moral vacume, in which they can like a soldier in the battle field, go all out and kill without feeling a bit of emotion towards their enemy. So she LOVES playing with my mind like I'm someone she can easily dominate and control. I go down stairs to ask about the chinese food she came to me and teased me about like a 5 year old, saying shit like "well I guess you don't want it if you're not responding, etc." which I was responding, but she wanted me to do more than just say "what" so I thinking it's harmless, go to her room and ask wtf she was talking about, and she says the food's in the kitchen, cool, nothing going wrong yet. Then I accidentally pull off the ring to some manakin she has in there. I'm like, wow, interesting craftsmanship because the thing's more complex than it looked. She goes batshit, wacks my leg, acts like I killed someone. That's what she's trained to do as a lawyer, go crazy over NOTHING. the thing can be screwed back on. I start off by asking her to calm down, then of course as I expected she tries to intimidate me and bully me and whines about how she has to adjust the stupid thing just right. Which is retarded because she's only visiting, she doesn't even live here most of the time, so the damn thing could have dissapeared and she'd never even know, she's just looking to get a rise out of me, something she's been trained to do I suppose.
Well she got what she wanted because I had to use all my will power to not beat the shit out of her today. That's sad, truly sad. That women feel they can very much get away with harassing and in this case assaulting a male who had no ill intentions towards them. She even kind of gave me a "im sorry for hitting you." but then continues to act like i specifically came into her room to fuck with her, which wasn't my intention, not this time anyway. I laughed it off, but it does hurt a bit to realize I can't really win with females. They're the weaker sex so they can always get away with beating on a male. The hard thing is learning to tolerate that kind of shit.
Monday, March 15, 2010
No one owes you anything part 2
I got this to say about our dear government, it's corrupt. While in the military I learned the hard way that this supposed democracy where men and women are free to do what they want to do is BULL SHIT. They sent an undercover dude after me to refute EVERY SINGLE point I made as if I couldn't just say "I hate tunafish" without him turning it around and making me out to be a faggot. Strange, cuz I didn't have to deal with this from the other guys nor the guys I used to work with at target or even, well, that's not true, at college one of the games they love to play there is "over analyze the shit out of every thing everyone says."
Ok, calm the fuck down people. You're an adult, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, now stop thinking you have to save the world...
I don't think I can change the world. Why do so many other people around my age think that if they don't jump up and rip everyone's arguments apart, that they've not done god's will or something. That's really how the real world works though isn't it. We have a bunch of laws and crap, but they're nonsense. If you black, forget about becoming the boss at whatever job you get. granted we have a black president, but he's nothing more than one of those black guys rich white folks use to say "hey look, we're totally not racist or anything."
And another thing is women. I've been researching the feminist movement for the last couple of years as I try to understand what the fuck women want, and I just recently decided it's not worth it. THEY DON'T HAVE A DAMN CLUE. They'll push you, and antagonize you, all that shit, but at the end of the day nature takes its course and they're on all fours sucking cocks, what a revelation to me. Because I honestly thought to myself that women were these goddesses I'd have to worship. In truth, they worship MEN. At least the non-lesbo femnazi ones. Getting a girlfriend's gonna be real easy as fuck now now, probably an asian bitch. I love asians.
Ok, calm the fuck down people. You're an adult, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, now stop thinking you have to save the world...
I don't think I can change the world. Why do so many other people around my age think that if they don't jump up and rip everyone's arguments apart, that they've not done god's will or something. That's really how the real world works though isn't it. We have a bunch of laws and crap, but they're nonsense. If you black, forget about becoming the boss at whatever job you get. granted we have a black president, but he's nothing more than one of those black guys rich white folks use to say "hey look, we're totally not racist or anything."
And another thing is women. I've been researching the feminist movement for the last couple of years as I try to understand what the fuck women want, and I just recently decided it's not worth it. THEY DON'T HAVE A DAMN CLUE. They'll push you, and antagonize you, all that shit, but at the end of the day nature takes its course and they're on all fours sucking cocks, what a revelation to me. Because I honestly thought to myself that women were these goddesses I'd have to worship. In truth, they worship MEN. At least the non-lesbo femnazi ones. Getting a girlfriend's gonna be real easy as fuck now now, probably an asian bitch. I love asians.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
What drives us
Just splooged 2 loads to this girl I found named naomi russel, now retired I've read. Shame. She's awesome, white girl with a fat ass, such a rare find. What's interesting is that her wiki claims that porn taught her about anal sex and she developed a love for it. wow, what a woman. loves anal sex. A lot wouldn't admit to that. It's the ultimate kind of shame beyond simply being in porn to begin with, but to be fucked in the butt hole and like it. Dick's not supposed to go in there, but I'm sure it's not that different from being fucked in the pussy so whatever right. It's fun to watch her videos because she's not one of those women who's apologetic about being rammed by a guy, she loves it, she loves being fucked.
Why can't most women just come off the high horse and do the same, enjoy being female. You're SUPPOSED to get tossed around and fucked and choke on dicks, it's NOT unnatural. The most attractive thing about this porn star is that she truly loves what she's doing, not a hint of regret like some others kind of display after, or in a ton of videos i've watched fake enthusiasm as they go through the motions.
And all this happened while I was again struggling to quit masturbating. I know I fucked up but at the same time i know I'm like 50 times healthier than I was years ago when I literally had to ejaculate to feel even half way decent mentally. I needed the endorphins to mask my pain from the dehydration and malnutrition. It's been a long road since 2006 but i told myself I'm going to have to sacrifice in order to come out the other end a stronger person and overall I'd say i kind of succeeded. How many guys get to 23, next month 24 with 0.0 kids to worry about. I can get any job I want, whether it be the military again, or retail, I taught myself how to shave, and now I know how to keep hydrated and I'm still sexy looking enough to hit girls who aren't old and flabby yet, or even if she's like 30 but has a nice body I'd do her.
Like I say every day, I don't just leap without looking, I plan. Everything I've ever done has been planned in my life. The unpredictable elements like falling in love with holly or whatever, have never really mattered, neither the forum stuff, though that did rattle me, I knew having gone down that road in the past that I'd survive it and so I have. *smiles* I'm not a bad guy, but if you want a fight with me, life, you'll most certainly get one.
Why can't most women just come off the high horse and do the same, enjoy being female. You're SUPPOSED to get tossed around and fucked and choke on dicks, it's NOT unnatural. The most attractive thing about this porn star is that she truly loves what she's doing, not a hint of regret like some others kind of display after, or in a ton of videos i've watched fake enthusiasm as they go through the motions.
And all this happened while I was again struggling to quit masturbating. I know I fucked up but at the same time i know I'm like 50 times healthier than I was years ago when I literally had to ejaculate to feel even half way decent mentally. I needed the endorphins to mask my pain from the dehydration and malnutrition. It's been a long road since 2006 but i told myself I'm going to have to sacrifice in order to come out the other end a stronger person and overall I'd say i kind of succeeded. How many guys get to 23, next month 24 with 0.0 kids to worry about. I can get any job I want, whether it be the military again, or retail, I taught myself how to shave, and now I know how to keep hydrated and I'm still sexy looking enough to hit girls who aren't old and flabby yet, or even if she's like 30 but has a nice body I'd do her.
Like I say every day, I don't just leap without looking, I plan. Everything I've ever done has been planned in my life. The unpredictable elements like falling in love with holly or whatever, have never really mattered, neither the forum stuff, though that did rattle me, I knew having gone down that road in the past that I'd survive it and so I have. *smiles* I'm not a bad guy, but if you want a fight with me, life, you'll most certainly get one.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Blatant sexism
No shit. That's what they want. I can tell you without hesitation that all women/girls want is a two things: money and attitude. Even if you're black as midnight you'll get a ho if you project those two qualities. Women are all hard wired to go after the wealthiest and toughest males since they supposedly have the best genes.
Like, fuck though, I relapsed this morning. Super cute latina girl got to me. 100% slut to the core, ready to get full of babies, wants to make a bit of quick cash before that point though... No big deal though, I'll recover. Been using some lotion on my dick that's specially designed to help skin repair itself. Got to say it's done a decent job... I've fucked my dick up stupidly. It's like all scarred and rough looking because when I get going I just don't give a fuck and rub it into my bed or my underwear. Supposed to stick into a girl, I know, but don't have one, so I got to improvise. And it hasn't helped it any. So I've been trying to limit the trauma to the penis as much as possible and using lotion I bought a long time ago with some kind of super moisturizing properties and it's been pretty good for it. I woke up after putting it on my dick last night and looked at it in the mirror and was just blown away by the smoothness of it. I'm going to use some more.
I think it's possible to quit masturbating and once I've accomplished that I can focus on finding a security guard job or some shit. Finding a job isn't hard, plenty of shitty low level shit to do out there. no need to try to be all elite. It's all about making some money.
Like, fuck though, I relapsed this morning. Super cute latina girl got to me. 100% slut to the core, ready to get full of babies, wants to make a bit of quick cash before that point though... No big deal though, I'll recover. Been using some lotion on my dick that's specially designed to help skin repair itself. Got to say it's done a decent job... I've fucked my dick up stupidly. It's like all scarred and rough looking because when I get going I just don't give a fuck and rub it into my bed or my underwear. Supposed to stick into a girl, I know, but don't have one, so I got to improvise. And it hasn't helped it any. So I've been trying to limit the trauma to the penis as much as possible and using lotion I bought a long time ago with some kind of super moisturizing properties and it's been pretty good for it. I woke up after putting it on my dick last night and looked at it in the mirror and was just blown away by the smoothness of it. I'm going to use some more.
I think it's possible to quit masturbating and once I've accomplished that I can focus on finding a security guard job or some shit. Finding a job isn't hard, plenty of shitty low level shit to do out there. no need to try to be all elite. It's all about making some money.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Ms Wigglesworth
Drew a ronda sketch today, just like in the old days. I spent most of my time drawing her back then. Felt good, got to say, I liked challenging myself again to create a decent image. I think if I do nothing else with my life, being able to prettymuch create my visions is cool as all hell. I mean you can scream at me like an 8 year old, calling me a loser all you want, but I'm always going to have my girl and her stories.
Played basketball with some damn kids today too. I was kind of scared of them, much like I've always been, since kids are cruel little assholes to each other, but funny thing, they think I'm like a real deal adult, who's smarter than them, wiser, the whole thing. I'm on their level prettymuch though... people worry about kids not being challenged mentally enough or whatever, but look at me, even if you bust your ass in school it'll get you no where. What's really going to matter in life is how much of an asshole you are, no, not nice to say, but we don't live on that fairy tale planet where people play fair.
And what's more, I remember being annoyed with grown ups constantly pushing me to do things. Nothing better to a child than being left the fuck alone imo. Do this homework, do this art, do this math and crap. WTF why? I don't even know.
I'm growing my beard out anyway, gonna go full on rugged to see how thick it is now. My hair is smoother because I've been washing it more, never really knew what to do with it, seems like it needed lubrication just like the rest of me. my hair's curly, always has been, recently however it's been getting all napped the hell up, which doesn't bother me except that I can't control it as well as when it's cut short and looks better. Maybe it's the water I've been drinking but yeah it's healthier hair now. Amazing...
And that's her last name btw, wigglesworth. Ronda P. Wigglesworth. My beautiful babe.
Played basketball with some damn kids today too. I was kind of scared of them, much like I've always been, since kids are cruel little assholes to each other, but funny thing, they think I'm like a real deal adult, who's smarter than them, wiser, the whole thing. I'm on their level prettymuch though... people worry about kids not being challenged mentally enough or whatever, but look at me, even if you bust your ass in school it'll get you no where. What's really going to matter in life is how much of an asshole you are, no, not nice to say, but we don't live on that fairy tale planet where people play fair.
And what's more, I remember being annoyed with grown ups constantly pushing me to do things. Nothing better to a child than being left the fuck alone imo. Do this homework, do this art, do this math and crap. WTF why? I don't even know.
I'm growing my beard out anyway, gonna go full on rugged to see how thick it is now. My hair is smoother because I've been washing it more, never really knew what to do with it, seems like it needed lubrication just like the rest of me. my hair's curly, always has been, recently however it's been getting all napped the hell up, which doesn't bother me except that I can't control it as well as when it's cut short and looks better. Maybe it's the water I've been drinking but yeah it's healthier hair now. Amazing...
And that's her last name btw, wigglesworth. Ronda P. Wigglesworth. My beautiful babe.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
oedipus boys
The name of a novel I've had in mind for a while now. It's about 4 orphans growing up in the shit stain of the world. The story's about them struggling to figure out what being a man is in a world that's forgotten what that means, hence the title 'oedipus' in reference to the oedipus complex, in which some guy theorizes that sons want to compete with their fathers for their mother's affection or something like that. Makes sense in my mind, then that the boys would find it difficult to beat something that really can't be identified anymore, the father, the man. I end it on a sour note. Johnny realizes he's not going to be like his dreams. It's a girl's world. You'll see, if i ever decide to write it. It's a warning against the overwhelming success of the feminist movement.
Where was I though, yeah the utter collapse of good reason when it comes to how young men are treated by women in the education system. Make no mistake, we're bags of meat to them. Labor ain't no joke, so they think a guy like me should suck it up and deal with the burden of work and college, and to hell with what I want or think. But what if I have no intention whatsoever of impregnating a female? and why do women feel they are obligated to give birth at all, some don't, and that's their choice is all...
Either you're with us or you're against us is all the parents of the world are going to say though. So self serving. Age of narcissism indeed.
Where was I though, yeah the utter collapse of good reason when it comes to how young men are treated by women in the education system. Make no mistake, we're bags of meat to them. Labor ain't no joke, so they think a guy like me should suck it up and deal with the burden of work and college, and to hell with what I want or think. But what if I have no intention whatsoever of impregnating a female? and why do women feel they are obligated to give birth at all, some don't, and that's their choice is all...
Either you're with us or you're against us is all the parents of the world are going to say though. So self serving. Age of narcissism indeed.
The difference between ice and snow
Good fresh start today. The challenge is to make it to tonight without shooting a drop. My father tells me "I'm going to go pay for your college loan." He's attempting to make me feel guilty for not paying it myself. A petty attempt at that. Silly rabbits want to fuck with me using aggressive political tactics. Similar to my college experience where I was just thinking I was playing by the rules, getting my edumacashun, right, but then the following year after I'd figured I'd succeeded and learning quite a bit about psychology, they decided to amp up the stakes and corner me with 30,000 dollars of debt. Mind you, I was still very naive about the world, not knowing that you can get a fine job regardless of a college degree, nevermind how sexuality is something we humans can't wrap our heads around, or religion for that matter, but anyway so they forced it on to me while i was still very vulnerable. That's teh "real world" kids. You're going to come up against people who WILL want nothing more than to see you suffer and they won't flinch, they won't back up, they won't feel pity, they will keep trying to destroy you no matter what.
The hope was to test me, see if I had the guts to finish college despite knowing I'd have no way of paying it off. I had a different plan than theirs, that's all. I wanted a girlfriend, all my days since I discovered them being so beautiful. How the blue hell was I supposed to focus on school when my dick was still going crazy. And on top of that, I had no idea that a lot of people insist that everyone somehow wait until marriage to have sex even if they don't know squat about what to do, ya gotta wait. This woke me up. the people at these colleges are just looking for a paycheck same as anyone.
Somebody somewhere wants to force feed knowledge of certain subjects into young people's brains for a good 4 years and they'll ruthlessly find ways to do it. and if you don't comply, they'll kick your ass.
Who is it? Women I think. The hope is that they get a good strong stock of husband material by putting them through some intense hoops, and a lot of pussywhipped men prettymuch agree that young men should be put to the test before they can even begin dreaming of pussy. It's what basic training was all about believe it or not. I supposedly got some shitty meaningless college credits for having done it. Thanks Gawd i gotz me sum correg creditz cuz lawd noes Ima gonna be reel smawt now and be all good at ma jerb. Yeah women are in charge of the educational system. Its function, to decide who deserves to pass on their genes or not. Sink or swim. Sucks but just as its young men mostly dying in war, so to is it mostly young men struggling to overcome a mountain of college debt to get a decent living before starting a family. Hmmmm
more thoughts on this later after I take a shit.
The hope was to test me, see if I had the guts to finish college despite knowing I'd have no way of paying it off. I had a different plan than theirs, that's all. I wanted a girlfriend, all my days since I discovered them being so beautiful. How the blue hell was I supposed to focus on school when my dick was still going crazy. And on top of that, I had no idea that a lot of people insist that everyone somehow wait until marriage to have sex even if they don't know squat about what to do, ya gotta wait. This woke me up. the people at these colleges are just looking for a paycheck same as anyone.
Somebody somewhere wants to force feed knowledge of certain subjects into young people's brains for a good 4 years and they'll ruthlessly find ways to do it. and if you don't comply, they'll kick your ass.
Who is it? Women I think. The hope is that they get a good strong stock of husband material by putting them through some intense hoops, and a lot of pussywhipped men prettymuch agree that young men should be put to the test before they can even begin dreaming of pussy. It's what basic training was all about believe it or not. I supposedly got some shitty meaningless college credits for having done it. Thanks Gawd i gotz me sum correg creditz cuz lawd noes Ima gonna be reel smawt now and be all good at ma jerb. Yeah women are in charge of the educational system. Its function, to decide who deserves to pass on their genes or not. Sink or swim. Sucks but just as its young men mostly dying in war, so to is it mostly young men struggling to overcome a mountain of college debt to get a decent living before starting a family. Hmmmm
more thoughts on this later after I take a shit.
Friday, March 5, 2010
3 shots o cum and a bottle o rum
Watching some sexy brunette get pounded by this black guy, love me some interracial porn, it's dirty, like beastiality. I think some white chicks like to take a trip to the dark side every now and again, nothing wrong with that, one life to live and all. I mean naw I ain't really into them because they remind me of high school teachers, but I wouldn't be averse to fucking one myself if she had some ass on her, too many no ass white girls out there, sorry...
Well my failure to abstain from masturbating has pissed me off today. I lasted maybe 3 days straight without it. I felt accomplished, then today just chillin not doing anything and like a zombie started thinking "a litttle bit won't hurt, just to get the sensation of it for a little while..." then of course OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH... like a damn drug and it made me feel like life was worth living.
so I'm like my left side of my head is numb from the endorphin shock it took. I'm drinking water to fix it up though. The water, I can feel my blood vessels squirting water into my brain to cool it off from the chemicals bouncing around in there. I think of how sad it'd be if I decided to take pills to fix my "depression" as the idiots in the medical field would say. There is no such thing as depression. You're dehydrated, your brain is suffocating, drink fucking water you moron and it'll make you feel better, more relaxed. It's like a legal opiate.
I mean I feel horrible that i couldn't stop myself from splooging, but I'm alright anyway since it doesn't hurt as bad now that I'm more hydrated. wish I learned this back in high school could have saved me a lot of pain, probably wouldn't have gone to that mental hospital that one time. They gave me pills in there to 'fix' me, forget about saying, hey kid, you might want to limit the sodas and pizzas and drink more h2o and so on... Don't trust people, imo. They'll gladly take your money and laugh at your idiocy.
Well my failure to abstain from masturbating has pissed me off today. I lasted maybe 3 days straight without it. I felt accomplished, then today just chillin not doing anything and like a zombie started thinking "a litttle bit won't hurt, just to get the sensation of it for a little while..." then of course OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH... like a damn drug and it made me feel like life was worth living.
so I'm like my left side of my head is numb from the endorphin shock it took. I'm drinking water to fix it up though. The water, I can feel my blood vessels squirting water into my brain to cool it off from the chemicals bouncing around in there. I think of how sad it'd be if I decided to take pills to fix my "depression" as the idiots in the medical field would say. There is no such thing as depression. You're dehydrated, your brain is suffocating, drink fucking water you moron and it'll make you feel better, more relaxed. It's like a legal opiate.
I mean I feel horrible that i couldn't stop myself from splooging, but I'm alright anyway since it doesn't hurt as bad now that I'm more hydrated. wish I learned this back in high school could have saved me a lot of pain, probably wouldn't have gone to that mental hospital that one time. They gave me pills in there to 'fix' me, forget about saying, hey kid, you might want to limit the sodas and pizzas and drink more h2o and so on... Don't trust people, imo. They'll gladly take your money and laugh at your idiocy.
Sex most powerful drug EVER
Back around 2002 or so I got my sex drive full on. Ever since then it's been both a blessing and a curse. On one hand i truly enjoy looking at and drawing naked girls. I'm intuitively atuned I guess you could say to every inch of the female body. I know how it's designed and everything, and I marvel at its craftsmanship. I honestly view it as a infinitely durable baby making machine. No little kid thinks this way yet. When you just in 5th grade or whatever, all you think about is cartoons and shit, but little did I know one day I'd be unable to keep my eyes off a pair of titties.
So I relapsed today. I'm kind of on the fence. Either I can't quit masturbating or I can. It's not like shitting. You try to hold back a shit for a week and see if you can. Try to not breath for a hour. Impossible. But yeah I have gone months without masturbating just last year, so it can't be all that impossible to stop. But good lawd is it impossible to stop.
Sigh... damn these dudes in the bathroom are annoying as hell. My father has some guys in there fixing the tub which leaks down stairs. He's a fucking retard when it comes to home repairs though, very often spending way too much on stuff that either doesn't look good or doesn't need to be done in the first place. He's always how do I put it, made weird decisions.
So I'm gonna just play star wars battlefront now. I look like a mess, all wrinkly and shit. It's the stress from the sex stuff that's causing it. We live in a world where a man has walked on the moon funny isn't it. Yet we dare not take on sexuality, cuz its like icky and nastay! eeewww
So I relapsed today. I'm kind of on the fence. Either I can't quit masturbating or I can. It's not like shitting. You try to hold back a shit for a week and see if you can. Try to not breath for a hour. Impossible. But yeah I have gone months without masturbating just last year, so it can't be all that impossible to stop. But good lawd is it impossible to stop.
Sigh... damn these dudes in the bathroom are annoying as hell. My father has some guys in there fixing the tub which leaks down stairs. He's a fucking retard when it comes to home repairs though, very often spending way too much on stuff that either doesn't look good or doesn't need to be done in the first place. He's always how do I put it, made weird decisions.
So I'm gonna just play star wars battlefront now. I look like a mess, all wrinkly and shit. It's the stress from the sex stuff that's causing it. We live in a world where a man has walked on the moon funny isn't it. Yet we dare not take on sexuality, cuz its like icky and nastay! eeewww
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Why I'm not having kids
My mom told me to "find a white girl" before joining the airforce. Though a bunch of racist asshole airmen tried to hint that they didn't want me fucking white girls, some white girls on base flirted with me, and in fact before I even got there a cutie with some nice tits was winking at me. She must have thought I was hispanic, true enough some white people can't tell whether lighter skinned blacks are spanish or not. Or maybe she likes black men, it's great sex, so whatever right.
So my mother's one of those self-hating black women who wants to scoop up as much white genes as she can, not going to hide the truth. She marvels at how freaking light my skin is, says I got lucky.
well I'm first of all, angry that I'm being used like a piece of meat by women who want to breed me off like a dog. Make no fucking mistake, women do not have any sympathy whatsoever towards men. It's still a man's world, but it's the women who are controlling the men, when a man's in love with a girl, watch out baby... you're going to get steam rolled.
I'm attracted to females of all colors as long as they're not fat and they act like girls, not those stupid lesbo butch females. Never really contemplated having a white wife to be honest, grew up surrounded by black kids, it's all I know. My very brief encounters with white women have been awkward really. Some of them are crazy as hell. Having such a high status in society must be burdensome, really they can get ANY man to fuck them, period. That's a big deal.
Anyway I look at them the same way I look at my first grade teacher or my art teacher, all white women who for whatever reason decided to become teachers in black schools, so it's kind of not my thing. I love black girls really, all I've ever known, can't really imagine joining the other side of the force.
But alas, why am I even dwelling on it. I'm not going to have kids because I don't believe in it. I think this world is too corrupt and I feel sorry for all the children who are here today. I know most of them exist simply because their parents forgot to wear a condom that one day. And the worst reason of all being that most parents don't give a crap about taking care of their kids as best as possible, mine did not, all they wanted was to become immortal not do their very best with raising children, I know now that they never grew up. They fucked, got kids, then struggled with us, then decided to treat us like animals, why put children through all that, why...
Never mind that though. I think about who I'm truly meant to be beyond child rearing. And it certainly is not someone who's struggling to raise kids, never has been. My true intentions are at the moment vague, but I see something in the mist, perhaps a great masterpiece. I know I have some, or perhaps an infinite level, of artistic drive within me. The problem is in where to point it and how NOT to get too much attention placed on it. Passion does that. The thing to realize about artists is that we either have it or we don't. There is no faking passion. It's why I regret bashing superman returns. Singer's passion for superman is all over that film whether it borrows heavily from stm or not, yet because of a select few's political beliefs they decided to wrongly bash the film. It's what woke me up harshly to the realities of this world. People can if they so choose abandon good reason and strike out against others based on nothing more than their own corrupt beliefs. In fact, America's doing just that with the war in afghanistan. We want oil, so we're lying to the public. People online want me dead, so they'll gladly say i'm a threat to good order or a 'troll' even though I've done nothing to anyone. What's more, the way some people play it is to frame you for something and then not give a damn when you go to jail and get butt raped. Shockingly my own sister impressed upon me that she doesn't give a damn about me.
She's a good lawyer.
She's tough.
She's always hated men and knew how to get what she wants out of them before dumping us in the trash.
She'll very likely be back in the kitchen in a good 4 to 5 years from now as I predicted.
My father says I'm dangerous. Probably because I'm different. We don't live in that idealized America where people can do whatever the fuck they want. Either you're with the wealthy white elites in this society who want to create a fucking disney world image of america for their children, or die. People like me, people who when pushed will stop at nothing to destroy you, we're quite the problem. Gotta keep us locked up or kill us. I can see through EVERYONE'S biases, predilections, personal political vendettas, more than I ever have in the past. Some people to me seem like empty shells of humanity, I feel nothing towards them. I see death as their only future. This scares me because I know that if I give in to my own dark side, I'll not give a crap about hurting people as much as I want. I'm a god capable of creating new life. it's up to me whether a woman gets to live her childhood over again in another form or not. Fascinating...
But they won't. I will deny them immortality. They don't deserve it.
So my mother's one of those self-hating black women who wants to scoop up as much white genes as she can, not going to hide the truth. She marvels at how freaking light my skin is, says I got lucky.
well I'm first of all, angry that I'm being used like a piece of meat by women who want to breed me off like a dog. Make no fucking mistake, women do not have any sympathy whatsoever towards men. It's still a man's world, but it's the women who are controlling the men, when a man's in love with a girl, watch out baby... you're going to get steam rolled.
I'm attracted to females of all colors as long as they're not fat and they act like girls, not those stupid lesbo butch females. Never really contemplated having a white wife to be honest, grew up surrounded by black kids, it's all I know. My very brief encounters with white women have been awkward really. Some of them are crazy as hell. Having such a high status in society must be burdensome, really they can get ANY man to fuck them, period. That's a big deal.
Anyway I look at them the same way I look at my first grade teacher or my art teacher, all white women who for whatever reason decided to become teachers in black schools, so it's kind of not my thing. I love black girls really, all I've ever known, can't really imagine joining the other side of the force.
But alas, why am I even dwelling on it. I'm not going to have kids because I don't believe in it. I think this world is too corrupt and I feel sorry for all the children who are here today. I know most of them exist simply because their parents forgot to wear a condom that one day. And the worst reason of all being that most parents don't give a crap about taking care of their kids as best as possible, mine did not, all they wanted was to become immortal not do their very best with raising children, I know now that they never grew up. They fucked, got kids, then struggled with us, then decided to treat us like animals, why put children through all that, why...
Never mind that though. I think about who I'm truly meant to be beyond child rearing. And it certainly is not someone who's struggling to raise kids, never has been. My true intentions are at the moment vague, but I see something in the mist, perhaps a great masterpiece. I know I have some, or perhaps an infinite level, of artistic drive within me. The problem is in where to point it and how NOT to get too much attention placed on it. Passion does that. The thing to realize about artists is that we either have it or we don't. There is no faking passion. It's why I regret bashing superman returns. Singer's passion for superman is all over that film whether it borrows heavily from stm or not, yet because of a select few's political beliefs they decided to wrongly bash the film. It's what woke me up harshly to the realities of this world. People can if they so choose abandon good reason and strike out against others based on nothing more than their own corrupt beliefs. In fact, America's doing just that with the war in afghanistan. We want oil, so we're lying to the public. People online want me dead, so they'll gladly say i'm a threat to good order or a 'troll' even though I've done nothing to anyone. What's more, the way some people play it is to frame you for something and then not give a damn when you go to jail and get butt raped. Shockingly my own sister impressed upon me that she doesn't give a damn about me.
She's a good lawyer.
She's tough.
She's always hated men and knew how to get what she wants out of them before dumping us in the trash.
She'll very likely be back in the kitchen in a good 4 to 5 years from now as I predicted.
My father says I'm dangerous. Probably because I'm different. We don't live in that idealized America where people can do whatever the fuck they want. Either you're with the wealthy white elites in this society who want to create a fucking disney world image of america for their children, or die. People like me, people who when pushed will stop at nothing to destroy you, we're quite the problem. Gotta keep us locked up or kill us. I can see through EVERYONE'S biases, predilections, personal political vendettas, more than I ever have in the past. Some people to me seem like empty shells of humanity, I feel nothing towards them. I see death as their only future. This scares me because I know that if I give in to my own dark side, I'll not give a crap about hurting people as much as I want. I'm a god capable of creating new life. it's up to me whether a woman gets to live her childhood over again in another form or not. Fascinating...
But they won't. I will deny them immortality. They don't deserve it.
Marriage
I've decided today that it is something I cannot do. I've always been different, not in the sense that I acted funny or anything, but I never ever felt like I belonged to the same universe as my peers. It's hard to explain. But yeah growing up, it began to seem odd that we were learning both science and religion, one minute learning about evolution, the next creationism. I then started to distrust the people lording over me, filling my head with biblical bullshit. Now these same guys I grew up with want me to be "normal" and go to church and kill people and get married and work a job since that's how the adult world works, any psychotic moron can have a say in how people live in this society. God bless America and all that.
My father says there are very smart men in this world, no doubt the super elite minds who despite preserving religious traditions, tend to side more with the facts. I know about these guys. Very wealthy, very smart, white athiests. The problem with athiesm though is that it doesn't have all the answers, just proposes that we will one day finally become fully aware of why we exist. But yeah, unfortunately even athiests are human and as I'm starting to learn these same super smart guys can be flawed, giving in to their own selfish need to hurt people who they particularly don't like.
I learned this the hard way going about posting on forums. Bunch of hotshot college grads on there, looooooooove to compete with each other over who's the smartest and can outwit the next person. The airforce calls it getting "butthurt" that's when you verbally assault a person harshly enough to where they react emotionally to your insults. It's a political tactic called the adhominem attack, supposed to cause you to lose a debate right off the bat, but people don't give a fuck man. poor kids using the internet come in and say some crap then a grown man comes swooping in to slice his head off with his understanding of debate tactics.
The more I learn about debating, the more I don't like it though. It's gay. No need to pull out a dictionary and slam a officially sanctioned definition into some dork's face. Just the fact that your nerdy ass has a dictionary handy just so you can outsmart someone online, is gay. You are gay if you think that makes you cool. And fuck critical thinking while I'm at it. Sitting on your computer critically thinking about batman is gay. You are gay if you think waxing poetic about batman makes you cool. Thank you for listening.
My father says there are very smart men in this world, no doubt the super elite minds who despite preserving religious traditions, tend to side more with the facts. I know about these guys. Very wealthy, very smart, white athiests. The problem with athiesm though is that it doesn't have all the answers, just proposes that we will one day finally become fully aware of why we exist. But yeah, unfortunately even athiests are human and as I'm starting to learn these same super smart guys can be flawed, giving in to their own selfish need to hurt people who they particularly don't like.
I learned this the hard way going about posting on forums. Bunch of hotshot college grads on there, looooooooove to compete with each other over who's the smartest and can outwit the next person. The airforce calls it getting "butthurt" that's when you verbally assault a person harshly enough to where they react emotionally to your insults. It's a political tactic called the adhominem attack, supposed to cause you to lose a debate right off the bat, but people don't give a fuck man. poor kids using the internet come in and say some crap then a grown man comes swooping in to slice his head off with his understanding of debate tactics.
The more I learn about debating, the more I don't like it though. It's gay. No need to pull out a dictionary and slam a officially sanctioned definition into some dork's face. Just the fact that your nerdy ass has a dictionary handy just so you can outsmart someone online, is gay. You are gay if you think that makes you cool. And fuck critical thinking while I'm at it. Sitting on your computer critically thinking about batman is gay. You are gay if you think waxing poetic about batman makes you cool. Thank you for listening.
Gonna be a supavisa
What tech sarg randolf said to me. I woke up thinking about it this morning. he's a fat guy who's probably really smart black guy so the airforce gives him some kind of prestige. It's still a white man's military though so don't go thinking you're anything more to them than one of those head negros they use to make themselves not look racist in front of kids. Same with barack. Another head negro so they can say "look, technically black people can achieve anything if they bust their asses in school. see..." I now realize that we black people mean nothing to elite whites, nothing. I use the word elite because I've gone to school with and been friends with average joe whites who don't give a shit about conquering the world or preserving some kind of racial purity. I don't know what to think about that except to give it all to God and pray he works everything out.
anyway, they said two things that shocked me. I'd end up a father hated by his kids same as my own. And I'd end up a supervisor at work at some point, probably around my 40s. Makes sense. I do possess some alpha male characteristics, and I'm not gay. Just that I have a hard time trying to learn about sex in this stupid society.
The thing that scares me though is that the time WILL come when one of my subordinates irritates me and I WILL snap and probably end up killing him or something. It's why the school system is run by females. Men are killers. Some of us are born for it believe it or not. That's why they do psychological questionnaires before you get a job, because they can't be having someone who's easily provoked running a serious business. Makes sense. They tested me thouroughly during basic training in fact. They made me snap and reveal my racist thoughts against white people. They made me angry enough to want to sabotage the mission while in the bunker. Smart mother fuckers up in that military I tell you... but not smart enough. I saw through a lot of their tricks while down there. I wasn't just born, ya know... been around long enough to know when someone's playing mind games. My only recourse was to play stupid because the minute you show people that you're not dumb as a brick they get defensive. Especially if these same people pride themselves on their own intellects.
Like females for instance. A lot of them are now online complaining about how they can't find husbands even though they worked incredibly hard in college and all that shit. LOL is my only response. Well, ya know, maybe you should have worked harder at being a woman than being a man because I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want to marry a female... They just don't get it and perhaps they never will because they're just big children. I have a niece who I view as my own daughter almost, and even I have to set aside my personal beliefs and own up to the reality that she won't be anything she wants to be in life. Such is the burden of being a father I suppose...
anyway, they said two things that shocked me. I'd end up a father hated by his kids same as my own. And I'd end up a supervisor at work at some point, probably around my 40s. Makes sense. I do possess some alpha male characteristics, and I'm not gay. Just that I have a hard time trying to learn about sex in this stupid society.
The thing that scares me though is that the time WILL come when one of my subordinates irritates me and I WILL snap and probably end up killing him or something. It's why the school system is run by females. Men are killers. Some of us are born for it believe it or not. That's why they do psychological questionnaires before you get a job, because they can't be having someone who's easily provoked running a serious business. Makes sense. They tested me thouroughly during basic training in fact. They made me snap and reveal my racist thoughts against white people. They made me angry enough to want to sabotage the mission while in the bunker. Smart mother fuckers up in that military I tell you... but not smart enough. I saw through a lot of their tricks while down there. I wasn't just born, ya know... been around long enough to know when someone's playing mind games. My only recourse was to play stupid because the minute you show people that you're not dumb as a brick they get defensive. Especially if these same people pride themselves on their own intellects.
Like females for instance. A lot of them are now online complaining about how they can't find husbands even though they worked incredibly hard in college and all that shit. LOL is my only response. Well, ya know, maybe you should have worked harder at being a woman than being a man because I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want to marry a female... They just don't get it and perhaps they never will because they're just big children. I have a niece who I view as my own daughter almost, and even I have to set aside my personal beliefs and own up to the reality that she won't be anything she wants to be in life. Such is the burden of being a father I suppose...
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Thoughts on homosexuality
While in college, of course I thought of nothing else but sex. I was a lot more naive back then though. I truly bought into the whole "nice guys can get the girl" retardedness that I'd been taught by females all my life. I sat in class telling the big tittied inscrutor how disgusted I was at seeing kids sexually harassing females... Little did I know that girls like it.
I read a book on homosexuality too since I'd been called gay all my life, might as well try to understand it. Lots of debate on the subject there is... some say it's... well from my recollection of the text, it cites all perspectives on the matter, religious, scientific, more specifically psychological. I remember reading that it can be caused by boys being raised by women, at least in theory. Makes sense... So as a college kid, I met a lot of different people. One thing I quickly learned was even though some dude might be acting gay, he's not, and hell, some gorgeous girls are gay, and god damnit, you just can't tell some times.
I'll get to my thoughts on the military's beliefs later. As for now, yeah back then I was pretty stupid. Most of the professors at college were female feminists who prettymuch viewed me as a walking talking sperm bank for a hard working college girl, both of us get degrees, and both of us pay off our debt while cutting throats at corporate, or at least that was the hope these old women had. I know now that it's not men who hate gays, in fact they amuse the hell out of me, but women hate them worst of all. They want babies and to have a great clean looking guy deny them that, totally pisses them off to no end. Some of them will even settle for a black guy since to my astonishment there's a lot of seriously militant white homosexuals who demand equal rights.
Don't even get me started on the military. They will constantly accuse you of being gay if you don't conform to their expectations and blow people up. That's all there is to it really. Imagine high school but with guns. Anything I did out of step, they called me a faggot. Now I understand their stance that as parents they think it's their duty to protect children from harm, but grow up a little will you? I don't like gay people either, but they're a lot more civilized than your murderous asses.
And what if you're bisexual, huh? Funny thing, I think all women are bisexual. I can't even fathom wanting to kiss a guy, but I see girls kissing girls and it makes pretty darn good sense to me that they'd be interested in each other since for one, they love getting attention from men, and two, they're obsessed with female beauty. God damn, everything is politics like that little mini-dick cheney guy said. What does that mean? Everything can be questioned down to its most basic or simplistic levels of logic up to its most complex friggin quantum physics shit. Everything. Chicken or the egg etc... Which came first, the gay or the bisexual?
I read a book on homosexuality too since I'd been called gay all my life, might as well try to understand it. Lots of debate on the subject there is... some say it's... well from my recollection of the text, it cites all perspectives on the matter, religious, scientific, more specifically psychological. I remember reading that it can be caused by boys being raised by women, at least in theory. Makes sense... So as a college kid, I met a lot of different people. One thing I quickly learned was even though some dude might be acting gay, he's not, and hell, some gorgeous girls are gay, and god damnit, you just can't tell some times.
I'll get to my thoughts on the military's beliefs later. As for now, yeah back then I was pretty stupid. Most of the professors at college were female feminists who prettymuch viewed me as a walking talking sperm bank for a hard working college girl, both of us get degrees, and both of us pay off our debt while cutting throats at corporate, or at least that was the hope these old women had. I know now that it's not men who hate gays, in fact they amuse the hell out of me, but women hate them worst of all. They want babies and to have a great clean looking guy deny them that, totally pisses them off to no end. Some of them will even settle for a black guy since to my astonishment there's a lot of seriously militant white homosexuals who demand equal rights.
Don't even get me started on the military. They will constantly accuse you of being gay if you don't conform to their expectations and blow people up. That's all there is to it really. Imagine high school but with guns. Anything I did out of step, they called me a faggot. Now I understand their stance that as parents they think it's their duty to protect children from harm, but grow up a little will you? I don't like gay people either, but they're a lot more civilized than your murderous asses.
And what if you're bisexual, huh? Funny thing, I think all women are bisexual. I can't even fathom wanting to kiss a guy, but I see girls kissing girls and it makes pretty darn good sense to me that they'd be interested in each other since for one, they love getting attention from men, and two, they're obsessed with female beauty. God damn, everything is politics like that little mini-dick cheney guy said. What does that mean? Everything can be questioned down to its most basic or simplistic levels of logic up to its most complex friggin quantum physics shit. Everything. Chicken or the egg etc... Which came first, the gay or the bisexual?
God damnit
computer just randomly restarted, deleting everything I just wrote, can't figure out why... perhaps a virus. Hope it doesn't happen again.
Any hoo, I'm still tring to quit masturbating. It's stunning to realize that despite how much tv and movies show men and women boys and girls dating and going through the normal drama we all go through in relationships, no one focuses on a male's constant stress over how to deal with his dick. And I don't give a fuck what some old religious asshole priest says, adulthood is not 18. When you've fucked. You're an adult, period.
People blindy follow the retarded laws we have because they dont know any better that's all. I'm not going to change the damn world so whatever. More people will suffer because of the ignorance of a select few very rich old white people who think they know what they're doing and are too scared to seek change because unfortunately it would require a hefty set of balls to go down that road.
Im just happy I don't have no damn kids. I'm quite lucky actually. Even though I'm black and shit, a lot of people end up having a kid to deal with by my age because they figured they'd knock boots. These same assholes with kids want to keep me locked up in a dorm room studying some shit I'll never need to know because some young guy hanging out in life without much serious responsibility is a threat to their family.
Dude, fuck your wife, take care of your kids, and leave me alone to do what I want to do with my life and we won't have any trouble, period. I'm tired of just doing what i was taught to do, stay abstinent, then now I'm being called a fag because I'm not desperate to get every young woman's panties off. Heh, sex, funny stuff...
Any hoo, I'm still tring to quit masturbating. It's stunning to realize that despite how much tv and movies show men and women boys and girls dating and going through the normal drama we all go through in relationships, no one focuses on a male's constant stress over how to deal with his dick. And I don't give a fuck what some old religious asshole priest says, adulthood is not 18. When you've fucked. You're an adult, period.
People blindy follow the retarded laws we have because they dont know any better that's all. I'm not going to change the damn world so whatever. More people will suffer because of the ignorance of a select few very rich old white people who think they know what they're doing and are too scared to seek change because unfortunately it would require a hefty set of balls to go down that road.
Im just happy I don't have no damn kids. I'm quite lucky actually. Even though I'm black and shit, a lot of people end up having a kid to deal with by my age because they figured they'd knock boots. These same assholes with kids want to keep me locked up in a dorm room studying some shit I'll never need to know because some young guy hanging out in life without much serious responsibility is a threat to their family.
Dude, fuck your wife, take care of your kids, and leave me alone to do what I want to do with my life and we won't have any trouble, period. I'm tired of just doing what i was taught to do, stay abstinent, then now I'm being called a fag because I'm not desperate to get every young woman's panties off. Heh, sex, funny stuff...
Monday, March 1, 2010
State of Manhood today
It sucks. That simple.
I found this image on a porno site... Slurrrrp! It represents everything there is to know about the feminist movement. She hates men, hates being born female, hates that she has to bend over and suck his penis, and hates more than anything that she LOOOOOVES to do it. So she wacks the guy's dick in defiance, and I suppose shame over her uncontrollable urges.
All women are like this. I love this chick because she reminds me of all the girls who've insulted me all my life. Now she's nothing more than another guy's bitch. As all women are in the end no matter what they want to think.
So us dudes in our 20s are a generation of males raised and taught to be men by a bunch of women... All one needs to do is look at movies to see the state we're in. Fucking Shia Labeouf is today's action hero. A little dorky twirp somehow manages to get a supermodel girlfriend. At least marty mcfly encapsulated the 80s charm of a rascally quick witted youth with mad guitar skills. What the fuck can Shia Labeof even do but continue to look very young well into his 20s. I don't know... Reminds me more of that big pile of ass known as fred savage. He was once a MEGA hit star, on par with fucking real super stars, then we as a collective audience came to our senses and realized he was the faggiest guy ever.
Shia will be no different. It's like how girls try to tell us men that they don't care about big muscles and big dicks or money, all they care about is personality. Bull shit. When it's just you against the whole horrible world, you start caring about how much you can get for yourself before you die, that's for sure.
I found this image on a porno site... Slurrrrp! It represents everything there is to know about the feminist movement. She hates men, hates being born female, hates that she has to bend over and suck his penis, and hates more than anything that she LOOOOOVES to do it. So she wacks the guy's dick in defiance, and I suppose shame over her uncontrollable urges.
All women are like this. I love this chick because she reminds me of all the girls who've insulted me all my life. Now she's nothing more than another guy's bitch. As all women are in the end no matter what they want to think.
So us dudes in our 20s are a generation of males raised and taught to be men by a bunch of women... All one needs to do is look at movies to see the state we're in. Fucking Shia Labeouf is today's action hero. A little dorky twirp somehow manages to get a supermodel girlfriend. At least marty mcfly encapsulated the 80s charm of a rascally quick witted youth with mad guitar skills. What the fuck can Shia Labeof even do but continue to look very young well into his 20s. I don't know... Reminds me more of that big pile of ass known as fred savage. He was once a MEGA hit star, on par with fucking real super stars, then we as a collective audience came to our senses and realized he was the faggiest guy ever.
Shia will be no different. It's like how girls try to tell us men that they don't care about big muscles and big dicks or money, all they care about is personality. Bull shit. When it's just you against the whole horrible world, you start caring about how much you can get for yourself before you die, that's for sure.
No one owes you anything
The favorite tag line of the christian conservative mother fuckers who run America.
I'm thinking about it today as I try to plan out my next job search, whether it be another military branch or whatever. I can't possibly handle a job as I am though, just too unhealthy to bear the full weight of dealing with some numbnut asshole at work.
But yeah, what does that mean? It means that adults basically are not bound by any tangible laws. The world functions on mob rule like I said. Whoever has the biggest guns makes the rules. And women are more than happy to hide behind a big strong man who's tough and doesn't give a fuck about anyone else but himself.
So basically all that stuff you were taught as a kid about working hard in school to get lots of respect from people, is bullshit. No one cares about anyone else. Every military personnel views each other as a number, like in a machine. The number either gets the job done or it doesn't, you're not a human being to them.
Whole damn world works that way. People die everyday, why should a corporation care if you live or die for instance, they have bigger plans than whatever your life goals are.
So I sit there being yelled at by this supposed 25 year old father of a little girl "NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING!!!!!111" as a way of making it clear that even though I have no criminal record, finished high school, still a virgin, I'm scum... just as much as the people who prey on the weak and don't care about following the rules of society at all...
I'll be damned. Well, all I have to say to that is, there you have it kids... don't finish high school. Don't read and study. Don't even try to get into college. Don't stay abstinent no matter how hard it is. Since no one will give a shit.
True enough though you don't have a high school diploma, you won't get that job flipping burgers, so you should probably get it...
Sigh... I don't know.... I'm a very simple minded individual. I'm not looking to have a million dollars like other people. Good job, good girlfriend, and I'm all good. Don't see why people want me to be superman. No, I'm not superman. So what...
I'm thinking about it today as I try to plan out my next job search, whether it be another military branch or whatever. I can't possibly handle a job as I am though, just too unhealthy to bear the full weight of dealing with some numbnut asshole at work.
But yeah, what does that mean? It means that adults basically are not bound by any tangible laws. The world functions on mob rule like I said. Whoever has the biggest guns makes the rules. And women are more than happy to hide behind a big strong man who's tough and doesn't give a fuck about anyone else but himself.
So basically all that stuff you were taught as a kid about working hard in school to get lots of respect from people, is bullshit. No one cares about anyone else. Every military personnel views each other as a number, like in a machine. The number either gets the job done or it doesn't, you're not a human being to them.
Whole damn world works that way. People die everyday, why should a corporation care if you live or die for instance, they have bigger plans than whatever your life goals are.
So I sit there being yelled at by this supposed 25 year old father of a little girl "NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING!!!!!111" as a way of making it clear that even though I have no criminal record, finished high school, still a virgin, I'm scum... just as much as the people who prey on the weak and don't care about following the rules of society at all...
I'll be damned. Well, all I have to say to that is, there you have it kids... don't finish high school. Don't read and study. Don't even try to get into college. Don't stay abstinent no matter how hard it is. Since no one will give a shit.
True enough though you don't have a high school diploma, you won't get that job flipping burgers, so you should probably get it...
Sigh... I don't know.... I'm a very simple minded individual. I'm not looking to have a million dollars like other people. Good job, good girlfriend, and I'm all good. Don't see why people want me to be superman. No, I'm not superman. So what...
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