lust for suffering

I've got 2 things i want to write about... first is my trying to understand some of the behavior I've witnessed in other people. Granted, we will never achieve peace, but to come across folks who upon first meeting you wish you death, is not only terribly confusing but also extremely annoying. I, believe it or not, don't want anybody fighting anybody for any reason, yet some people it would seem are war mongers to the core.

first time i caught wiff of these people, at least post pubescent (kids are cruel yadda yadda, no need to go there, fuck kids) I'm talking beyond that, and it was at a forum i frequented that's probably still around today, a star wars forum where i delved into the deepest levels of star wars discussion and followed my passion for the series as it started up again with the new movies... some jackass was going around harassing everyone and totally blew my 16 year old mind when he layed me out with a KO post that completely devastated me. i look back and regret not shrugging that guy off. That's what that freak wanted, to get to me, WHY is the question... i guess there's a cheap thrill from slamming someone.

I know i have it some times, we lust for other's pain at times. but geez i'm talkin this guy was nutz,digging into everybody every day, like it was his whole life.

and it doesn't end there. some fat woman when i was looking for a job, went ape crazy when she saw my resume wasn't full of work. And she made a frown face at me as if she was ready to beat me up. I told her I was going to school. What was i 21 when this happened, and it was the truth, but i realize now that she was a fucking psycho bitch and nothing more. i should have ignored her and gone about my business. She wanted me to feel ashamed for not having a full time job by my age, make me feel off, but most people don't have their shit together yet, and so I was a dumb fuck for taking her seriously.

so apparently some people are crazy by choice. i know goddamnit that there are people who don't have a choice, they're born crazy can't think straight at all, but then there are those who are deliberately annoying jerks because they get a kick out of it. Thank god, I'm male and I rule the world, at least as far as a black guy's concerned.

Oh what else was it i was going to add, oh, I'm a delta airlines ramp agent, didn't know delta was the largest airline in the world when i signed up for it, pretty neat, anyway you passengers are killing us with the baggage.

1. stop packing your whole house, just essentials please. and 2. why the hell are you arriving for the flight something like 20 minutes before departure, we have to load your heavy shit 1 by 1 in the aircraft, so it's going to be a bitch to have no time to get it done. Sorry just had to get that out there, this job is brutal, but can be made a little more manageable with some help from the passengers. I guess they don't know a human being will be lifting their shit at some point.