So my phone is gone

Parked out front a building to go deliver papers. Came back, started driving a ways and then noticed something strange, my phone was gone. I looked to see if it dropped down into the car somewhere. Nope. Some asshole came up to my parked car while I was in the building, leaned into the window and stole my phone right from the dash. They must have been seeing me park there for days, knew the routine I go through and decided they had plenty of time to ransack my car for goodies.

Of course I feel defeated. I had some things I would have liked to have saved from that phone, shit I won't recover, ever. It's not a total loss. I never considered that phone extremely vital to my life and if indeed it was a camera full of static shock footage, you could bet I'd cancel the project.

The person who stole it wasn't even black to my shock. I do indeed expect black thugs to go stealing shit, but no this was a hispanic guy. Called my phone and guess who answered, someone speaking heavy spanish. The guy who stole it can't even speak english and even fumbled with my phone's touch screen and sent the number I was dialing from a text message. Eventually he figured out how to turn the phone off.

It is locked. Nobody can get inside it unless they know the code. It's not an elite samsung phone. It's a fairly cheap affordable Honor5 phone that nobody cares about. I just thought it met my needs so I bought it.

Sadly I doubt it will show up on ebay since this dude can't speak english apparently and won't be selling it on there. He'll put it up for sale for like 50 bucks drug money. That's all the bronx is, a drug riddled shit hole.

Makes you want to kick ass, just go around beating the shit out of every douche bag looking guy who steals things in NY... I don't give a fuck about those people, shoot and kill all thieves please police. Just kill them all.

How did my day go like this. Just wake up, go to work, struggle to get things loaded, then have it all ruined in no time. That's just awful. Sad, pathetic shit.

I will be quitting this job on 9/10 and good riddance. If you're not getting robbed on the street, you're gonna get robbed at work by a bunch of assholes running some shit stain obsolete company into the dirt.

How long is newspaper delivery going to be around? It's like getting your bill in the mail, who does that shit anymore? Get with the times.

Yeah I mean, I can only handle so much distress, I can tell you that. I'll never feel safe and in fact I always walk around with pepper spray since I've been a new yorker all my life, you gonna get mugged at some point. Bunch of black people live here, you gonna get mugged.

Yeah, just a bad bad bad situation. And the thing that struck me was that nobody cared. I'd show up late for delivering papers since now I have no GPS to guide me through the streets and they'd blow up about it, like fuck you. Deal with it or go buy the fucking paper at the store and shut up. I could care less you couldn't get your stupid paper. Get a goddamn laptop.

So frustrated. I want to always be upbeat but then shit like this happens and you realize life is not always rosey and nice. The devil is at work and is trying to fuck our lives up every day, EVERY DAY.

I sat in my car and I asked God, why me, why today, why this bullshit. I have no idea!!!!

This is just making things just harder for me, why? I mean Yeah now I know to activate and keep my camera rolling in my car, damn straight. I'm going to wipe the memory clean on the card and have the camera running and of course not leave my phone in my car ever again. I started out fearing it would attract thieves but after like the hundredth time of it not getting stolen, I relaxed about it. Fuck me.

Will never recover from this unfortunately. This emptiness of losing a part of yourself, I've felt it before of course when my animation project I worked on for hours was gone after the computer froze, that was a massive pain, then things like this have happened numerous time when I've lost electronics with valuable stuff on them... life is sadly like this and I guess it's my turn to feel the pain of serious loss that's out of your control. I mean, I've had plenty of opportunities to steal laptops left by business people taking the metro north, but I being who I am a heroic nice guy returned the laptop to the police, (how sad that cops still look at me as some thuglicious black dude but alas) and of course TSA always has this stuff happen, people leaving behind their phones, their laptops etc. And indeed they don't get them back at all. That's truly bone crushing to learn your whole laptop is gone or whatever.

This phone had good things on it. I always made notes concerning my philosophy on life. All of those notes are poof non existant. I did indeed come up with a neat little tune and recorded it with the voice recorder, gone. Never going to hear it again.

Only conclusion I have after things like this happen.... maybe nothing matters. Certainly as much as we all want to believe our lives matter and will be remembered and all the videos we take and shows we make matter and will be preserved and last to the end of time, NO it simply won't. At some point this whole planet will blow up and chances of us finding and escaping to a new one are very very slim. In fact, scientist are pretty clear on humanity's fate being pretty darn sealed and really if we want to keep any chance of life for us going, we have to figure out if there is a way we can inhabit a new planet.

So yeah, very depressing thoughts.

I will tell you all this. I will not stop. I will not be deterred. I will push forward with my static shock project to my dying breath. I don't give a fuck how many phones I lose or whatever.

Nothing matters to me more than finishing my work.

Nothing.