thawts of the day

Hate driving thru the bronx, bad bad bad traffic. Sad that we in this country want to live it up, everybody having nice cars, then literally you'd get to where you wanted to go faster by walking because there's so much traffic up everyone's ass. Can't believe people are raising their kids in the bronx. I mean, one wrong move when I'm driving and your kids are pavement gravy. Almost hit like 10 of them today alone. Can't imagine what the rest of my time driving here will be like...

On that subject, kinda interesting to see schools taking kids out and into the streets to do stuff. Never did that as a kid. It was stay in school, that was the message. Yunno why? Cuz Kkkops will shoot your little black ass, not only that but it's just a bad town. You are safer in school than on the street where you could get mugged, raped, whatever... But it's much better to get out and be actually getting experience being part of the world. It'd make you dare I say more prepared for living in society! What a novel idea!

People complain about my generation being less tough and ballsy than the last. Well, I was taught to NOT go out and take on the world. Be obedient, stay indoors all day, don't go out and talk to people engage society, man up and go out and grab a pair of milk balls. None of that shit.

So surprise surprise my generation has been neutered, guess the brain washing worked?  I mean I'll tell you straight, from a race perspective, black kids NEED to go out and engage society and learn how to live in it as black people. That's what I never got. I've had to learn how to handle being a black guy only in the last few years. You get treated like dirt, but you don't intimidate people as much, it's a delicate balance being a black guy. Especially and most shocking of all, the complexity of being around white people every day. That shit needs its own educational curriculum. I mean on a sexual level. Black guys and White guys can hang out all day, there's nothing racial between two men, we're like different shades of the same shit. But like my experience working with white women has been eye opening and I wish I grew up with white girls, not just watched them on tv. Cuz yeah it's been a hell of a learning curve to learn how to deal with them. Cuz the thing you don't realize while watching white girls eating fifty dicks in a porn movie, is that they're fucking really bright black girls. It's not that they're different at all really. They're just as dumb. Just white and have power over everything.

K, I'm so freakin tired after a long day of ass fucking garbage in New York as usual. Trying to find another job asap. I took this job cuz it's the only place that hired me. I'm loyal to them for that honestly. It's too tough a job and the indeed reiews for it are spot on. The company is a scam trying to fuck its workers over, but I've been struggling to find a job and this place gave me some kind of respect. I can't say I feel any ill towards  them in that light. But they're ruthless and not very well run sadly. If they actually freakin cared about their workers, it'd actually be a nice little gig. I run newspapers every morning, thankless, sad pathetic job for people that just got out of jail and will take anything or something. Make pennies, destroy your car by driving all over the goddamn world. Makes no sense, but I need to get my money on... Having shit is no good.

Barely above janitor, I'd rather toss garbage as tough as balls a job as that is, those guys probably have fucking nice condos and seriously nice toys at their houses or apts, and they get to work out and build muscle every day and look good for their girlfriends, where's the downside, ok the garbage smells like shit and understandable, but still, I'd do it...

Will be applying and hoping to get out and find a real job, not this insanity. I'd love to get back at Delta, or work ramp at Jet Blue, but it's for whatever reason seeming like too tough to get a job back working an airline again, weird shit.

I don't like the system. I'm not a dumbass guy. But I feel like I am getting dumber for having to get these bottom barrel jobs that require no intellect whatsoever.

That's not right. Isn't it supposed to be that your education level determines what jobs you have access too and therefore the smarter crop of people get better smarter jobs? Or is that system bullshit and no one told me...

Alas, I was indeed lied to. Told to go running around reading studying and working hard as hell through out my childhood for nothing... I'm just a black piece of meat to go shovel shit all day as has been this country's tradition since it started.

Well, I'll still look for better shit, which means what honestly, the people running the job world are pure 100% assholes who don't give a shit about me. I mean, I can't end up just doing meaningless dull manual labor nonsense for the rest of my days, with the brain I have, with the dreams I have, artisitc skills I have. Makes. No. Sense... And if there's justice, those running the system will correct its massive discordance with reality and the simple needs of young people who deserve better after playing by the rules.

I look around at black guys hanging out looking like gangsters and trouble makers and wonder if they're in the right, not me.

Maybe they know it won't mean shit if they do crack a book and don't bother...