there is a GOD

I say that with tears swelling in my eyes...

I'm just, let me gather my thoughts at this very moment.

I am just now sitting here having found my power glove. I know you all don't care about that shit. But I've been spending the last 4 hours since I woke up to go do a shot early before the cars started coming in full costume as boom. I went to look for my glove in the car where I thought I left it, not there...

I didn't find it. I figured it's in my room somewhere. NADA, gone.

I say to myself, oops left the power glove in the woods like I've done to other things, just go and fetch it, no big deal. It's probably where I tossed it.

I literally go combing the woods for the glove, GONE.

I drop emotionally. Start thinking about why this happened, why a power glove worth maybe 100 bucks is now gone from me....

I lost my mind searching for it some more. Returned to the park 3 times to look for it. Looked through footage on my camera to identify where the goddamn hell I left it. Looked like I dropped it behind a tree, go look, not there.

I then just told myself, let it go, it's over. Someone stole the damn thing out of the woods and I will never see it again.

Felt like my soul had been crushed and a part of me gone forever. That sense of this abyss in life where things just are gone for good.

I accepted defeat, held on to a slight glimmer that I might see it again if it fell off the edge of the bed or under it, whatever the case. But I accepted it was gone...

It's now here safe, next to me. But I still feel like its gone. I fully was prepared to forge forward with the rest of the film without it for possible new footage and reshoots.

My spirits are shaken right now. I feel a sense of overwhelming loss and overwhelming relief at the same time. Making this movie has been and continues to be more of a sacrafice than I ever anticapated but it is one I'm willing to make, it's who I am.

How did I find it. I didn't 'FIND' it. I looked at all the footage I shot for that day and noticed I was smart enough to always have the power glove in hand. Made me wonder if I stashed it in my bag since that 's all I was carrying that day. So on a bit of of a weird silly what the heck moment of spontinaity or whatever, I just took a look in my bag, which I already previously searched multiple times, and at the very bottom, under EVERYTHING, found the glove. Makes no sense that it would end up that deep in it. and the thing that is weird is that I searched the bag for it, just not to the bottom I guess.

I can't begin to make sense of this hectic morning I've had thus far, needless to say, I'm very happy and very messed up and need a break from this project. It probably will be delayed. The reason for losing things and doing things off step is because I'm trying to rush it. I got to just let it come when it comes from here forward....

Thanks to God, thank the force, all who brought my glove back to me. You don't know how great I feel knowing it's still here, still with me right now...