Daily Words

Stealing from Allison Mack's facebook... Yunno, I hope the best for her and I don't want to believe the hype surrounding her case. Am I fully believing she could never be that horrible and do those things?

No. I've met a woman who changed my perception of females completely over night.... Women are not all angels, don't ever be fooled. This chick was pure garbage and enjoyed causing trouble and igniting conflict... The term is sociopath.

You might think I'm exaggerating, but it's WHO she is. She ENJOYS making people suffer and proving she's mentally superior to everyone in her vicinity and refuses to see her own flaws and potential for making errors.

I'm sad she ended up that way in life...

But sociopaths are the goddamn worst kind of psychos to roam the streets... Normal looking people, then the fangs come out and they revel in fucking with you. Hate having to deal with them... Like, it's just a waste of time trying to reason with those people. That's the point of their psychosis they don't understand what they're doing is bad...

Is my own father a sociopath? I don't know what he is, but he does enjoy causing problems and seeing me/people suffer. He loves it, it's all he has left as he waits to die... But yunno, I don't think he was always that way. It's just that he's always been bullied his whole life, so he wants to feel powerful especially now that he's having to accept the inevitability of losing power, growing old, and dying.

I told you my life has been fucked up... it's just never been making sense and of course now I'm having to figure out what to do to survive... maybe I won't. Maybe I'll never make it in this world... I don't know for shit... It strikes me to go out in the streets and have people kinda judging me and talking to me as if I'm not even human. That's interesting... Could have swore I was...

Welcome to Black World? Yeah, this whole everybody's gonna treat you like garbage thing really should have been a subject in school...

I have no training or ability to maneuver around society's gripes with blacks. I just wait for it to happen as I go through my day, that moment of a certain look or whatever from a cop with nothing better to do today, or general jackassery or smartass language to get to me... just sit and wait for it... just sit and wait...

How annoying...

Ah well, what can I do?? Not much... hell, probably nothing....

What am I doing right now? Rendering the true final cut. I adjusted a segment that seemed to not flow right... put in some taylor swift music that I wanted to sneak in there at some point, some how. It's the theme I want for static shock. It's the perfect kinda heroic sounding thing, so I intended to have it be his little anthem when he's gearing up to fight etc... wish it were longer, it's such a badass superhero sounding theme...

I originally wanted to go at length bout my thoughts on the future of the gaming world, now that it seems we've reached the peak of 3D console/pc gaming. I used to play hokey crappy slappy windows games all the time, old school stuff. To see the rapid evolution come to this level has been a hell of a ride. Games are now practically photo real and could be with more time in development indistinguishable from reality... so what's next? I have some thoughts on that.... maybe I'll get to blogging about it if I feel up to it. But yeah, I'm thinking gaming can truly still yet more evolve, not in graphics, but in immersion. It's gonna be all about creating the realistic experience in the future...... like, physical feedback kinda stuff, actual like cinematic games too which they are making, where the game is more or less photo real and you are essentially interacting with a movie as you watch it... the thing I hope they goddamn do some day is stop with the fully rendered cut scenes, and do the cut scenes with actors...  The uncanny valley just sucks in games... If they just have those segments which never change and are always the same cut scene as live action sequences which is what the ps1 was all about really, it'd ad so much more realism to the games... I mean, you hired the voice actor, and like look at Steven Ogg, literally could have played Trevor in GTA 5 in the cut scenes. If that's the case, let them actually do the cut scenes then seamlessly switch between the live actor and video game. I swear that would actually be better than the fake looking renders. It's just not happening even with mocap, I never buy the rendered stuff as real and it looks like walking talking zombies.

Flesh and blood is the only way to go... And we need more interactivity in gaming. Like they're going about online gaming all backwards... It should go towards more of a customizable style that makes it feel more unique. And maybe even give us the ability to use our own face in the game. Been dreaming of that for years. It's possible and everyone carries cameras in their pockets these days, so why haven't we implemented custom face mapping in games? Yes, I know a soccer game has the feature, but it should be in all of them... Always wanted to play as ME in a game... god damnit.

Alright enough farting out my fingers today...