Jumping in...

Kinda needed to just get away from the project before the storm takes place. I will be kinda going into hermit mode and just dedicating myself to finishing the movie right up until the release of Solo...

I calculate that it's all gonna be fine, I'll make the date...

weather is so nice now in NY... such a joke living up here all my life has been. Horribly cold, then at the drop of a dime, extremely hot... such a confusing life. I mean the weather tricks you... you think oh what a wonderful place when the weather is good, and then in a flash, freezing cold, you just want to go some place else, then it f's with you again.

Well I'm going to be one of those guys you all see running deliveries down in manhattan in the next few weeks as soon as my bike comes in.... I'd like to build an electric bike, but I don't really have money for it and from experience the thing doesn't last long, didn't get more than maybe 40 minutes of power out of the last bike I had... Good for short trips, not for running deliveries... want to and have been researching building a gas powered bike, mini motor bike... I dare the cops to come at me bro if they see me going on it. I'll give them an ear full about how I'm doing my FUCKING JOB and they can suck my dick. You gotta love cops. They want their bullshit from ebay same as everyone else, but they come and FUCK with you when you're struggling to deliver their goddamn nonsense to their door. I dare them. I'm gonna tell that asshole something. Last time a cop FUCKED with me and I was working for the goddamn gov delivering his goddamn mail... Those idiots. Dare that asshole. Come at me....sorry but I'm tired of dumb cops screwing with poor guys like me trying to make my pennies.... sorry...

I'm not scared to bike down there. I've become an expert at manhattan after driving it for so long... It's a mess but a managable one. I should earn a substantial amount of money and not feel so freakin hobo-ish and lame since I'm still kinda dicking around in life watching porn all day and living with mommy and daddy. I do realize I have to get out and do something to earn money and just try that and see how it goes instead of this stagnant state.

Though I don't feel so sorry about it. I've been living my life going out and running around NY for so long, finally being able to wake up and not do shit has been something I've always wanted to do....

it's been interesting.

For some reason I got 300 odd bucks tossed at me for having delivered newspaper and done so much instashopper runs and stuff. I guess you get tax money back for that... who knew....

So I decided to not stress myself and spend off my cash and get some candy and soda and just chill right now...

Bunch of Donald Glover stuff being shoved in my face on every website I go to. No thanks. I didn't care about him before he got cast as Lando and I don't care about him now... I never liked the guy, then he took the role I was born for so I really don't like him...

It'd be interesting if he gets recast for the sequels if Ron Howard gets to do another one, we'll see eh... One of the most awkward black guy recastings in cinema history, terrance Howard to Don Cheadle... I'll never understand how they can swap a caramel black guy for a dark chocolate black guy and just not bat an eye, that was awkward. But hey anything goes!

I'm busted and confused and lost and don't know what I'm doing in life and what I'm here for or what the hell I'm doing making this movie nobody's gonna watch, I certainly do not know...

I'm aggravated by the swirling constant crybaby whining online... Wait until you're f'n old and losing everything and watching your body deteriorate, then you have something to bitch about.

I've worked with elderly people for a while now, nothing good about that shit, bro... So it does get to me to see all the crybaby politics going on, just shut up.

I'm so tired, and feeling old myself... f'n I think I honestly am starting to actually want my life to be over with.

This confuses me because I still have things I want to do. Get laid, build a time machine, do SOMETHING interesting before I have to go...

But yeah, I'm kinda actually beginning to think, just what's the point of going on, it's not going to get better is it....

I suppose all black people start thinking this way. You stand against a large furious racist world, what the blue shit do you want to stick around for?

Honestly I don't really know, it isn't my world. I can't wake up in the morning and say I want to go buy a boat and sail the seas and catch fish and feel free to do it. Not me...

I guess I'll get back to you if I ever discover a reason...