To be a man

I got a lot on my mind. I was at bmt for like 3 months. A lot of things happened. It was definitely a new experienced mixed with frustration, sexual frustration, and some interesting looks into military life style. These people are a little crazy, but they aren't doing it for their sanity. Military personnel do it for their kids. That's why they can't stand gay people though some kids are gay too so what can you do about that? This world's a funny place. Anyway, I'm thinking a lot about life now that i've seen the world more than I have in the last few years and it's hard to make sense of it man...

I'm 23, the worst age to be male. People think of me as both child and adult at the same time. And who are these people? Why do they get to decide when a man's a man. The thing that I think is terrifying reality most people accept is that they'll be left alone in this world after their parents are gone and all they'll have left is some dead end job.

So they go around trying to bring others down into their hell so they can suffer too. Whether it be by trying to put you in serious debt or whatever. It's really a dog eat dog world out there. If you're thinking people won't step on you and walk away smiling, you're wrong. Stupid world...

Uh anyway I'm so confused. The thing to do in life is lay low, blend in, don't try to change the world or anything, but damnit if it doesn't need SOMEBODY to stand up and point out how retarded it is.

We have people out there who are trying to change things to fit their world view and others trying to change it to theirs and they're screwing up everything for everybody. Like my point of this post, what is it to be a man these days? Everyone and their mother wants me to MAN UP now, grow up, be a man. my question... WHAT'S A MAN?

Being crushed by bills?

Having stupid kids to deal with?

Being religious?

Working some dead end job?

I understand high school's waaaaaaaaaay behind me. I can't go back to 16 year old gorgeous little girls now. I'm fine with that, came to terms with it and all. The problem now is that despite me being older, people still treat me like I'm a punk high school kid. Granted I look like one because I have youthful features, but it's pissing me off that I'm EXPECTED to be attracted to older girls because I'm now 23. UH no... god this age sucks balls. Yeah I still like young tight bodies. that's not wrong is it? fuck you society if you think it is. Yeah that's it. Women are jealous of younger women and want guys like me to be into them even though they messed things up for themselves with this feminism bullshit. So tired of it. Now the older generation wants to stick me in college so I can be kept busy until I can take someone elses place at some corporation and start a family of my own. Aint that a damn joke. I'll never be a father. ever! EVER!