God damn

I'm so frustrated. I've applied for a security job and best buy jobs now. Good money if you can get it I suppose. I keep thinking the airforce is watching me sometimes as if because I was in the military for a minute, I'm like still part of the club. I didn't get anywhere close to the deep levels of the military so I'm pretty sure they're not worried about me. But the FBI sure is and the IRS. I'm supposed to be contributing to the tax system which I don't understand but the way this society works, us men have to work or we're better off in jail. society will cast you out if you don't have a job and you're over 18. Your job is who you are, it's how the american caste system works. The beauty of this country is that you can go get qualified for a better job if you want. Some people like working as janitors, others as ceos... it's up for grabs if you have the right stuff. And you're white, but that's a whole nother issue...

I was out today and damn man, I hate being my age. I see people of all ages on the subway and now I understand who they are more. Kids are stupid as hell and don't know they'll die some day. Most adults are pretty much settled and ready to finish their mission in life and be done with it. Then there are young women and teens who look at me as father material since that's what I'm sure they're thinking I am. This 15 year old was just starring at me with lust in her eyes. I could only see her as a kid, which she is. She knows nothing about life.

That's life man... no going back. I'm at a point where no woman wants me because I'm out of work and i can't go back to hot highschool girls. What fun.. just got to press on some how...