Met in an accident today. I don't know why it happened, I thought I was making a fairly good turn, maybe I wasn't, sometimes you can't be sure, but the other guy hit me, claiming he wasn't sure if I was going to stop or not. I stopped hearing his screeching tires and we couldn't miss each other.
I feel awful...
I must now take the subway to work again, and yeah all that jazz about feeling good about this girl I work with, I'm going to have to let it go, permanently. I'm in no state to play like some kid anymore. I have to make a choice, either pursue the job with utmost seriousness or quit and find something else...
Life goes on with or without me, true, still I feel like I do matter to some extent and when stuff like this happens, it shines a light on my shortcomings, and how much I need to fix if I can possibly do so. There's nothing more to say... I want to forget this happened, wake up from this nightmare, but this is reality and i have to take it and live with it for the rest of my days... what a crazy thing. We'll see...
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