I guess I'm getting old. I like to sit and contemplate my actions rather than just act wildly like I'm inclined to do. I'm an intellectual after all. Not my fault, I simply don't enjoy thoughtless barbarity in any way shape or form. I like a mental challenge, always have.
Here I stand. I see before me an open door to riches, to success, a hard earned one at that. I did indeed work my butt off in school. I did it for me, though I will assure you. I cared nothing for the school, the staff, the students. The only thing I craved was intellectual growth and improvement. And it worked out for me enough...
I feel like banging on phil and chris's door, and demanding the role of Lando. I honestly do. I've lived my life, taken harsh beatings, gone to hell and back again, and on top of that now, I've been cursed by the military so I have to constantly be burdened with the prospect of having a bad turn as a parent one day...
Great, whatever... that changes nothing. I still can and very much could become rich, famous, and all that good shit if I get to play Lando and I do indeed think they want me for the role.
I'll only say if they ask me, I'll do it for them, simple as that.
I'm too damn old now to goddamn run around banging down doors and all that shit. I just don't have it in me to do that at this point. I want to just do something smarter than that if possible.
I was going to go on a tirade about how tough it is to be a black man, but then I realize that that's life. Nobody got it easy honestly. Everybody's going to grow old and die old and stuff. Just live your life to the fullest while you still have it, because one day you will indeed be unable to do a damn thing at all without someone to help you or whatever aging does. Man, is aging not looking like it's going to be fun at all.
I think of life as a time to seek pleasure though art and sex and just whatever you enjoy, that's all. I don't like this idea of having to live life in pain and everybody killing everybody. I'm just not seeing the point of all that shit...
You're gonna die anyway...
Well that's all I wanted to really kinda express. I just was going to go tweet chris and phil then age caught up to me. That's a kid's attitude. I'm 30 years old. I get up out of bed in the morning and kinda have a hard time balancing myself now. Used to jump out of bed and just go. The mind is willing, but the body is saying Noooooo....
It sucks. You don't want to lose your youth, it's like, not fair man....
All I got to say is that I'm here for you guys.... I'll be working up in Niagra falls airport in the coming months doing TSA work over there. As much as I'm happy about getting in and getting a decent job again with the TSA... I know it's my destiny in this life to play Lando in that movie. I'm just kinda blown away that the opportunity to do it has finally come. I've been waiting for it for 15 years, son. 15 years...
15 years.... I want to and hope to give you a performance the likes of which people will remember for all time. I've been sitting on it for 15 years, you bet your ass, it's going to be something deep and meaningful since it's been gestating for that long...
Monday, August 15, 2016
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