Getting back to it

Just decided to edit a bit today though I decided I was on vacation from it. It was enlightening, proving to myself that I can look past my OCD and concentrate on the film if I do decide to. It's not OCD, don't think about it like that. I know a smidge about psychology and if you isolate yourself for too long, your mind can kinda become OCD about shit it normally wouldn't dwell on since you'd have so much daily social stimulation to be concerned with. Since I wake up and stare at a damn stupid computer from morning to night, I've developed a condition of obsession that yunno when I go out into the world is gone and doesn't exist anymore so I am conscious of what's going on with me.

I suppose losing my beloved little car and being stranded here in this freezing winter in this house trapped with this ball of garbage I'm forced to tolerate, yeah it's taken its toll on me and I'm going crazy because of it, obsessing over stupid stupid shit.

Began watching sliders again though just to get my nostalgia trip on. Highly recommend revisiting old 90s shows. It's like a feeling of being hopeful and having fun in life again instead of dreading everything.

Having actually sat through sliders a bit after a very long time, damn was that show fast paced as hell. That's tv in the 90s, nothing happened slowly everything was chop chop chop. Gotten so used to today's more slow cinematic tv shows I damn forgot how slap dash 90s shows were back in the day.

Why did we rush so much in the 90s? I mean think about it, life for me back then was rush here, do this, write this, calculate this, bla bla bla bla bla, everything was a rush back then... I never understood that. Not that I'm lazy but I do better at a natural pace...

Fun show, somewhat more self aware than I remember it. There's a sense of frivolity to it as if even the people making it don't buy into its weird concepts much, then it gets dead serious when quinn and autoro go into the actual phsyics of worm holes, that's 90s. We didn't give a f back then if you didn't believe in magic, by God things were going to be thoroughly complicated and over explained.

Totally forgot Parallel universe quinn was the one that solved the quantum physics equation for him. It's like once I saw that bit in the show again, I was like oh yeah I remember how that irked me how it made Quinn look inadequate and stupid that he couldn't finish it. I was concerned with crap like that back then. I tell you I believed in the shows I watched way too hard. When stuff happened to characters it bothered me for real...

But no, the sheer fact that Quinn got the device to work at all is what makes him genius. The thing too is that I believe he'd have had far less trouble if he wasn't so wreckless and foolish in the pilot did further tests on the wormhole thing, oh man... watching the show again, prettymuch everything that goes on is their own fault since they were so damn in a rush. There's nothing pushing them to rush and jump into the wormhole to start the series off except for the goddamn run time of the show and there being no time to dwell on things realistically. I mean that bothered my young brain back then too, but then once you get into the guts of the show, the meat of the characters, you forget how damn stupid they acted in the pilot.

Yeah man, just saying it's fun to go back to the 90s. Honestly I don't want to f'n be here with this modern world of crybabies. Give me my tough gritty 90s life back, great cartoons, star trek, sliders, seinfeld, prime golden age simpsons, goddamn power rangers rockin every saturday, hell saturday being a damn good day to chill and see the best cartoons ever made, hell yeah... give me that, not today...

I was watching the ep and like, I actually chuckled to myself when quinn pulled out an old regular non-smart, non camera filled, non-excess bullshit cell phone. Jesus christ, back when we had to endure without having a mini super computer in our pocket. Oh the horrors!

Slow ass internet. No instagramming your stupid lunch, just life, just living, no internet drama. Jesus christ I'd kill to return to that. Alright, gonna get back to work on the edit tomorrow and try to make more progress, snoochie boochie my little noochies.

thawtz on Sliders

Not something i was thinking I'd get into but I guess it's destiny. Sliders, what to say about this show. Not enough good things. I was the perfect age, the perfect time to be casually watching nbc I believe when its first ad aired. The whole tsunami planet they slid to, instantly hooked after that and I had to keep watching the show. Little did my innocent mind know the show would die a tragic death and become another show that started brilliantly only to sputter and die.

Made a silly tweet to its star Jerry O Connel a person I honest to God have known since I was a small wee child and he responded to it. Sent a shock down my spine to have my childhood hero care at all about my nonsense. He doesn't know what Sliders meant to a generation of nerds like myself. It was awesome to see our personas reflected on screen in a cool way.

That's what sliders was about. It was a heady show. It was NOT about sliding at all. It was about the complex moral dilemmas the characters faced and how they solved them through their intellect. If the sliders weren't half a team of genius physicists, they'd never survive very long.

It worked. I think Jerry does know. It's just that there's a tough rift between him and the show since his exit wasn't on friendly terms. He says he was kicked off, other reports say he wanted to become producer and was denied, others say he and his brother just decided to bounce to get back into films more since that's where he started before becoming a tv star.

All I remember was at the time it was devastating. I was there, I saw the episode where Quinn merged with his double and became a new quinn. It confused me but I accepted it since I was loyal to the show and would roll with whatever nonsense it did. This however was a change I rejected. I lost interest and although we had cable, I could still watch sliders on sci-fi. I didn't bother. Why would I watch a show without my boy Quinn. And they tried to half ass put in there that quinn was inside of the body of the new quinn and some point he'd be brought back. I knew it was bs though and that the show was just on its last legs desperate to keep an audience it could never keep without Jerry.

Does Jerry give a damn about sliders anymore? I don't think anyone dedicates that much time 4 solid years of their life to one thing and not care. He loved it. His passion for it is clear as hell in the first 3 seasons. He loved being Quinn. No one could play that character as well and perfectly as him. It was a good f'n show with limitless potential that could go on forever and ever. And actually could get a revival tomorrow since it's still not ended.

I'd be down for a netflix finale of sorts if Jerry was down to do it. I mean everybody comes back, the whole team. One last final movie to put the series to bed.

I mean full house is still goddamn going. Roseanne coming back and nobody wants that bullcrap... Wow, gotta at least throw us Slider fans a bone here. Alas it won't happen. It's been too damn long, they've all moved on. Similar sci-fi shows have come and gone since sliders. Like when you think about it, Sliders was the original Lost. A group of diverse people struggling to survive together in a group going through weird sci fi happenings. Because Sliders worked, shows like Lost had it easier getting green lit. Suits knew people would watch such a show.

Anyway, I'm here, I'm still here and I remember the innocent time when I sat back relaxed on a winter night in the living room to watch the boob tube and f'n was just floored by this amazing show about a nerdy bastard like myself inventing f'n wormhole cellphone thing that fits in your pocket. I goddamn loved every minute of that time in my life.

hope

all I can do is hope. Honestly I'm not superman. I've been editing but yeah this thing is a mount everest of a project due to my own supidity.

I'm gonna be honest. I have OCD. It's may be no big serious level of it but it's something. I honestly can't concentrate on a thing if I don't get over the ocd issue that's on my plate. I mean shit hits the fan, I can push beyond the OCD but if it's possible to get things in order, I don't want to... how stupid can you get...

I'm ocding over some stupid stuff right now and it's just aggrivating to be unable to dedicate myself to the film because I have to go back and put my mind in order in a way of speaking but it's the truth. I've always had mild ocd and now here I am with it causing a major obstacle in the path of my ideals and such.

Well, anyway. Going to to make it I hope, get passed these issues and stick the landing finish what I started. It's a damn fine film. I watch the clips I put up and I actually legit enjoy them tremendously. All the drama that went into filming them. I curse myself so heavily for not having it ready to go and out as I promised.

Maybe I need a week off and just get away from it for a bit... truth be told that's probably what I'm gonna do. It's not a school assignment. I don't have to rape my brain to get it done on time. I can get it done at my discretion or quit, which I swear I will not be doing. But yes, I'll go at my pace get it done hopefully by Solo's release. That's all.

Well here we are

Was going to post the rough cut that I just put up but actually don't want too much attention on it since it kinda spoils parts of it. If you care, go check it out on the youtube page with the other stuff. If you don't, don't worry about it. It'll be in the final cut. 

Tough edit. It's not fun to do this shit. But we're progressing and now I'm at the game gear part. Definitely my favorite part of the film. I made this thing fun for myself by adding fanboy nonsense here and there. 

The orchestral music really works well with scenes too. I'm trying to make the music work in terms of adding a tone to a scene rather than drive the action of the scene like I usually do. I typically edit to the music. Make all the camera movements and such sync to the score. But I'm finding that the music just setting the mood in the background works well too. 

It's the emotional weight that it gives the footage that I like. 

Music is a key thing in film making, too bad a lot of films neglect it. It's like yeah, visuals are nice, but how can you dance without a beat? 

It's that philosophy that I've always known and yet been baffled by films that kinda don't yield it or ignore how well a score augments films, life. 

Music is the sound of the soul.  

Will be back to work. As far as my Instafart plans go. No go for launch. The car is damaged after all the shit I've put it through and I'm going to sell it off. 

Use the money to buy a moped then go run deliveries full time down in manhattan. I like doing that. The thing is that I don't understand at all how people expect stuff to be delivered by car down there. It's impossible. If I make enough money and can afford a decent car, I mean we'll see. I don't want to abandon instafart at all... but they get orders where they kill you with like tons of crap you can't possibly drive around with a moped. I might be able to engineer baskets and carriage space or even a pull cart to put the groceries in, and that would help some, don't know.... but I can see running groceries on a moped if these idiots wouldn't goddamn purchase mountains of food for some poor bastard to deliver to the 200 floor of a sky scraper, but I was shocked to discover there's A LOT of people who've NEVER lifted a finger for themselves their whole life. They actually don't give one shit about how hard a guy has to work to get things to their door and think a 5 dollar tip makes them feel it was all worth it. Suck a dick. 

Well I'm out, gonna work on the film, get my files organized for the next round of editing and finish the finale. In fact, I like this approach. Edit the end of it FIRST. Then work backwards so you're not angsty about having to do the ending the whole time. I must say it will be easier for me to edit knowing where it's all going to go.

Where I be

Shit.

I guess I'm out of gas. I've been editing, but it's not flowing, don't got the feel of passion and drive, it's not going well. Just barely motivated.

This kinda thing is inevitable when you throw so much of your heart and soul into this stuff, you max out. And here I stand. I don't have the juice I once did.

Watching cool world right now. Good Lord, Pitt would have made a hell of a captain america if Hollywood didn't have its head up its ass. He's ok in it. Not anything a million different actors couldn't have done so he doesn't stand out in the role he's playing. Awesome as fuck film though.

Watched all of Orville today. Fascinating show really. Actual good intelligent writing, not just stupid stuff and action, actual thought put into it. I have to respect it although as others have said it's not really that original. It's galaxy quest meets tripping the rift. Believe me, I've been watching Tripping since it was a demo video floating around kazaa. That show too had its moments of intelligence, few, but the premise that Seth is going for has already kinda been done. I don't know what he plans for this show. It's being held back by being sold as a comedy. It's not. It's a legit good star trek show that tosses in out of place awkward jokes. That's not working. Yunno, it's like half a star trek snl sketch, half actual star trek. I have a hard time liking it because it's so contradictory.

It's like it's one of those shows that has to resort to gimmicks and weird shit once its run  its course and it's ratings are dying. It's like it's already resorting to the gimmicks and crap before it even gets to have a chance at lasting too long like the goddamn simpsons and south park have.

All I'll say in the end is the actors better get out there and audition and audition some more because this approach won't keep the show afloat for long if it keeps jerking the audience around with its tone.

Where am I with my project. Ha ha ha, it's like driving me mad. Yunno. I've done tons of these kinds of things back in high school and such. I was always making movies and vids. Never lost my vision until now. I've lost it. I'm starring at the timeline and don't know what the fuck I'm doing with this thing anymore. I've lost my vision. I know the technical bits, plug in files, add music. But what I've lost is my clear grasp of how I want it to work and feel. It's quite gone. But yunno, so be it. I'll struggle with myself and push it forward and get it done like a robot, but it's like I don't feel as fully devoted to it as I once did. That storm of passion has kinda died down and dwindled. It's cuz I failed to meet the deadline prettymuch. Moving it to SOLO, sure smart move and one I can possibly meet, but still, it kills me that I've been this much of a damn idiot. One thing that hurts me most is being proven to be fool. Indeed.

The Room Thawtz

So I got my instafart card activated. I'll be getting back into that soon. I'll do it mad lazy, just kinda lazy my way through it and not give it everything I got. I'm not going to bust my balls for these ungrateful lazy people who can't be bothered to do their own grocery shopping. Deal with it.

Discovered the Room. What is the Room? It's a bad movie, like the most unbelievably awkward film ever made. And it is. It's truly a hard thing to describe. Both fascinating in its style and awfulness at the same time.

I want to go see it live and support it, but I can't. I'm poor. Maybe some day.

It's a movie that's right up my alley though. I loved bad movies. I mean, that's what I always found fun to watch, movies that were not having their own heads up their asses and were kinda weird and fun.

I loved street fighter the movie back in the old days if that tells you anything. When I rented that movie, I was so happy to finally get a street fighter movie, yaaaaaay. Good LORD.

Other bad movies I liked despite them being garbage, super mario bros movie although I personally think it's genius, Howard the Duck was good if batshit, but biggest bad movie i loved was He-Man. Wow, that one really is a masterpiece of fail. Countless others. My point is I liked the awkward bad stuff that most avoided. And I was all about the old stuff, like anything looney tunes, disney, whatever, ate up the classics, one thing I loved watching too was the little rascals, stooges, I'm telling you that's the only thing good about my childhood my parents kept tons of old vhs tapes of classic classic WEIRD stuff.

 But anyway, lot of the movies I love personally and mean something deep to me are straight up hated online without mercy. Such is the internet. It's a hyperbole fest. I'd hope people don't take it seriously, but then I did exactly that years ago and it had a serious impact on my young brain and life back then. If you're at all wondering why I have an indifferent attitude about online life, that's the reason. I wish I was one of those guys who didn't let shit get to him at all and just bulldozed through his day unconcerned with people's bullshit. That's essential if you want to survive this mess called the internet.

There's a few things that don't exist here on the internet:

Imagination.

Reasonability/Open-mindedness

Sad to realize that's how this beast works. People don't let go of their own biased views and steadfastly reject any notion of a new idea or new perspective. It's the saddest thing. But yeah. If some random douche bag tells you what to think, that's the way it is, it's written in stone and wow, how pathetic do you have to be to wake up in the morning and boot up your computer just to play mini-hitler online even though you're Bob the gas station guy or some shit.

Do. Not.  Let. This. Thing. Get. To. You.

I've been watching tons of reviewers and stuff on youtube. For the most part, I'm siding with their views. They're not too bad. Some of them are retarded and hyperbolic and just out for clicks. It's a clickbait scam, that's what youtube has become. Used to be just upload a vid you think is cool so you can show it off. After monetizing youtube, it's CHECK OUT THIS CRAZY THING! Clickbait fest. Oh fuck, that's bad how it's full of vultures trying to get an e-check.

The net used to be a place where you actually just chilled out and relaxed not worried about f'n getting scammed by masters of the clickbait vid. Sucks how far it's declined.

Anyway my point is that like twice reviewer channels I thought were cool took a shot at superman returns as if it was this abomination of film making. I'm so done with superman returns, yeah, that whole fury and crazyness that happened over that film is long gone and far away from me now, but can't believe some of the animosity towards it lingers and there's still people that are trying to shape history's perception of it as if it was some total failure. Cuz they say it is. Sure it's no Catwoman, that's for sure. Boy that movie kicks superman return's ass. That's the kinda shade the film's getting and it's pathetic shit.

I mean, the movie was just good, a strange ass movie conceptually but there's so much art and majesty and reverence for superman in it. Such PASSION for superman in it. Then you go online and see reviewers shitting on it as if it was complete trash.

You know what's trash. Avengers. All the Marvel Garbage, all of it. Superman Returns is better than all of them combined.

That's what the shitty reviewer channels on youtube do. They cater to popular opinion, not their own personal views.

Only channels that actually have thoughtful unbiased, decent heartfelt meaningful reviews of films are the redlettermedia guys and Ralph the movie maker. Stuckman started as this, then he blew up and went corporate with his channel. I haven't watched him in years and I think I'm over him although he started well. He's become what he used to kinda counter against. How sad.

Overall and to conclude this. There's something called imagination. That's the best word for it I can think of, although there may be others. Maybe when you get older you lose the ability to make a movie work despite itself. Imagine that it's more than what it is on a more reality based level.

Ah I have the word I was looking for now. FAITH. This is what people online don't have, that faith in a film, ability to believe in its story beyond the outside world's influence or people's biased opinions on it.

I'll use batman and Robin as an example. It's actually a great batman comic book come to life. Has anyone EVER read a batman comic? They're batshit, pun meant. If I want to watch a fun ass batman movie, there it goes. Is it missing a lot of what it could have been, sure, but the soul of the batman comic is in tact and perfectly there. Batman's struggle is still there. All the core stuff is still there. I NEVER outright hated the film except for its botching Mr. Freeze. Other than that, it's played straight and works. Go online, and it gets destroyed without anyone giving it a chance. And that's how the net works, just has no common sense or anything.

It's stupid.... oh well. Shit. I forgot this post was about The Room. To put it briefly. I view the Room the same way. It's got a good heart, it's got some merit to it. I'm not blindly looking down on it and I understand why it is a phenomenon to people. I however don't feel like it's MY phenomenon. If I discovered it on tv one lazy day like I did Last Dragon, I'd feel it belonged to me. But I don't. I saw all the little videos on youtube about this thing called "the room" I ignored all of it. It wasn't until I read an article on gizmodo about the disaster artist that I discovered exactly WHY that gif of that guy walking out of the shed was all over ytmnd for years, and it's so cool. I do appreciate what people have been hugely into for so long and want to be a part of it. But I'm not going to get too involved or anything. I guess I'm getting too old. The Room though is something I wish I discovered years earlier, would be a treat to have felt about it like I do Last Dragon and other old weird films I discovered on tv and at the video store.

But overall the point stands, there's movies that are to me getting way too much crap online despite not really being the end of the known universe...

Current status report

Getting sick I guess. I feel ill, don't know what I've been consuming to cause this, but situation is not good right now. I'm struggling, having to suffer every single time the rotting pile of death that is my own father bothers me. I wish my life wasn't the way it was. Oh how I envy people I glimpse online who don't end up living with a person who's content smelling like a subway psycho.

It's like instant pain psychologically when he comes with that shit to my door to drag his drama on my shoulders. Just piss off the planet already. I'm tired of you. There's nothing left to do but leave... Going out with a bang, I must say, a sad commentary on black life. Blacks don't care apparently how they meet their exit in this life, foul smelling, old, fat, useless. That's how this man wants to be remembered. Messes a person up thinking about it.

Honestly never saw this coming. I lived my childhood knowing the future wasn't going to be bright, but not in any way a living hell. I never conceived that. There was a slight hope that I'd have a girlfriend all that stuff, I did hope for that once. Not this scenario where I'm being hunted down and all this utter bullshit. Can't say I saw this coming..

Made progress on my film. That's the only high point on this day. It's going forward. I mean. I'm exhausted and horny and don't want to be bothered with it to be honest. My mind is just constantly full of thoughts of fucking, it's just the way its' been for so long, never ending story goddamn... all the ass in the world around a nig and he can't get none, isn't that funny.

Well the edit I did today though tough came out really spectacular. It's the dream sequence where Static encounters his former self. I don't know why I shot all this crap. It's not even story boarded. It's just something I was thinking would be a fun bit to get and I shot it not really knowing if I could get it to work or fit. It fits. It's exactly as I thought, a really cool little sequence. And yep, totally inspired by Superman 3 junkyard fight. But I'm not and could never pull off a fight....

It's coming along...

In further news. Uh, going to get back into instacart and run groceries some more up here in this area of the bronx and wherever. It's daunting because last time I f'd up on my way to the supermarket since my gps failed me. And lovely world this is, the super market is right next to a toll high way. So if you miss the one single tiny exit going to the super market, you're fucked. I say that harshly because that's how the toll people will treat you and you will be arrested if you don't pay the toll. It's asinine. I was simply lucky that I had tons of cash in the car from all my tips to pay the toll for the full 7 mile trip it took to U turn and get back to the super market. Hole situation was just stupid. If I was the toll guy I'd have given a nig a break and said I understand, go ahead, it's all good, just pay the other side. No, paid twice, such a messed up world this is. Badass supermarket though, so many cute white girls in there when I went in there. White people super markets are so amazing, jesus christ, it's like a mini theme park. They don't play, boy.

Goddamn, well I'm done, gonna struggle some more with this crap.

.

How to do Star Wars 9

Thinking about it...

going to edit a bit today but nothing major. Then get my files prepared for truly finishing the final battle.

You guys don't get it. If I can slam out this bit of the movie, it'd free me up so much the rest won't be such an incredible burden. I'd feel happier editing the other bits to be honest. The final fight is huge, difficult, and somewhat hard to watch as it features me having flabby jelly rolls that I'll have to cleverly cut around. Not looking forward to that.

Watching Orville to see what the fuck it is. It's ok. I mean shit, was really getting into some of it. The episode with the planet that passes over 100 years of time for every day in our time, pretty amazing. It's been said to basically be a new star trek show under the disguise of a star trek parody. And it is. It's not a comedy. It's Seth macfarlane's star trek. He's still playing himself. It's kinda again an annoying decision he's made. In this and in Million, he's playing himself. He's not acting at all. He thinks its funny. It's funny to him. LOL. It's just annoying. Other actors are earning their pay check putting on an ACT. He walks on set, be himself and walks out. That's it. It's funny to you Seth, just another awkward decision. As soon as you start to buy the illusion that his character is real, he winks at the audience, ha ha, I'm brian from family guy, because Brian is ME. It's so silly.

It's tripping the rift though. Seth thinks he's so clever or whatever, but Tripping the Rift did everything he's doing back when we all had dial up. He's not really going anywhere new. Andromeda too. Hell, goddamn Lexx did similar stuff. You can tell I was a space show nut as a kid. BUT Orville is good, nothing too dramatically great. Galaxy Quest the show essentially. And all the girls in it are cute so whatever, good enough.

As for Star Wars 9. Drop Finn, Rey, and Poe. DROP THEM. They're not interesting. I thought and we all thought they'd mean something in the series, they're all disposable now. They have NOTHING to do with the whole story of star wars at all. I thought finn was a new jedi emerging, wrong. He's disposable tolken black character. Literally that's all he is and it's sad, sad that boyega would chuck and jive for his pay check and dance in front of the camera

LITERALLY:

Oh look everybody! We love dem blacks.

and just be their black guy, but he is. It's just sad, at least in TFA he couldn't be dropped from the film or they'd have not won the battle. In this movie, he's disposable, does nothing, goes no where, just a big lump hanging on an otherwise good film. I look at the posters for TLJ now and Finn might as well not be in the poster. He's not doing anything in the movie to merit it. At least make it him who Rey contacts or something, nope.. he's useless and wtf is he going to to do in the next movie? Even Lucas had to concede Jar Jar wouldn't do much or matter much in the next movies, whether pressured to reduce his role or not, he had no place later on.

Start fresh. Let's start maybe a goddamn decade later. Do not focus on the limp dick story of poe and rey. Focus on new characters coming up out of the war torn regions the first order and the republic are battling through. We'll look at the war from their eyes. It'd be fitting way to end it as a call back to how the star wars shifted from the story of Anakin to the story of Luke, now it'll shift to the story of someone at the bottom of the world who has an impact on the destiny of the galaxy once again. And maybe they're not a jedi. It'd be interesting to explore an angle that wasn't copying what we got twice before, that's for damn sure. And that's what Rian Johnson wanted. He said, noooooo not going to have this be a step by step retread at all. We're breaking this bitch open and making something else.

Thank you for that. That's what this trilogy should have been. I mean the potential wasted by TFA kills me. We got some awkward shit in place of an epic sprawling amzaing final fantasy level shit that we could have had. Yeah when I think of the new jedi order story, I'm thinking epic final fantasy shit. New worlds. Had no f'n clue JJ after what he did to make star trek pop and sizzle visually and be such a prequel slamming franchise, go right back to f'n sand planet again and remake a new hope. Got to be shitting me. I grew up watching movies INSPIRED by star wars yes, but totally making their own style and story from that inspiration. Sucker just says f that and blasts us all back to a new hope, f'n a new hope. Sand planet, droid wandering around on it, getting found, same shit. F u JJ. We already got this with Return of the Jedi. Why did you remake that. Sucks because I watched TFA ignoring how much it was sucking A new Hope's dick and being so interested in Finn, Chewie and Han's big ass new ship which we never see ever again, good lord, all the NEW stuff, so fascinating, f'n bread rey makes from the portions, that's great.... Then it just kept sucking A new Hope's f'n dick. WE GOT A LOT OF COMPANY. Oh jesus christ.

We're not done yet. We can do the right thing and get this ship back on track. It's just you got to NOT at all COSTS retread old star wars material with this movie. It's a scary thing to do, but I like what Rian Johnson had the balls to do, LET THE PAST DIE. He had balls, awkward weird ass goofy donkey horse thing riding balls but balls none the less to attempt to breathe new life into the star wars corpse and for a bit during TLJ I could actually see the NEW star wars. The totally Lucas free but still awesome, still well made star wars. I could see it thanks to TLJ and that does give one hope.

Will JJ have balls enough to step out of the safety zone and give us a star wars film that's visually conceptually abstract and weird and twists our perceptions and just blows our reality away for 2 hours. NO. And that's sad.

JJ's the Mcdonalds of film makers.

God, what could have been if they gave the film to a true visionary film maker, just a visually daring son of a bitch kinda guy. Del Toro would make something so good, so good. Cuaron, oh my god what he would do. Ridley Scott, a younger Scott anyway not this half baked screwball he's become, oh he'd kick ass...

Well, I mean shit. I'm torn. I want 9 to be great, but unfortunately it'll be just as good as JJ's other mediocre shit. Sad to say.

My thawtz on Million days to Die in the West

Watching my second review of this movie. I saw it on tv in a hotel while I was over in buffalo training for TSA, actually a nice little hotel. It's called the quality Inn, highly recommend it if you're out and about and need a cheap but good place to stay. It was a good experience, warm bath, good food every day, made me feel white.

I'm about to get started on the final act of the movie I'm working on... It's going to be hell to finish what I started, but I must, and I will, but before we begin just want to go on a diversion and get away from it and not care. Drink my tea, think about other things.

The reviews I'm watching for it are gutting the film, tearing it limb from limb making out to be a complete failure or whatever.

I was bored as crap in the hotel and say whatever you want, I have to thank Seth Mcfarlane for making my day less crappy because the movie came on and I enjoyed it. I left reality for a little while and went into the universe of whatever the hell was going on in the movie and it took my worries away for a while. I have to say that's what a movie's supposed to do and that's what the movie did for me at that time.

I saw its flaws though. I mean I suppose all the stress I was in made me want to not get into the awkward tone of the film and how kinda lame the story was if there was a story, I just kinda liked hanging out in the movie more than being tied up by its awkwardness.

I remember thinking, yeah this movie's not good. It's not really consistent and the main character's really boring. But I didn't care, it was an honest movie. No deception, if it was going to suck, it was going to do it with its heart on its sleeve and I can respect that. Seth wanted to make a western comedy like he grew up watching and so he did, and it's a pile of wtf but an interesting pile of wtf. It's like spielberg's 1941 in a lot of ways. Spielberg taking a turn at making a comedy and creating one of the most eternally both reviled and beloved films of all time... It's certainly a movie worth viewing to at least try to figure out what happened to make it the way it is.

Also, I find the older I get, it's hard for me to really care about white people movies as deeply as I did as a kid so maybe that's a problem too. I was just thinking about it. I was in the military, right. After that experience and having guns pointed at me by the honorable brave soldiers in our armed forces, I find it hard to give a shit about Jarhead as much as I used to. I was watching a clip on youtube today and thinking, man you're white, shut the fuck up. You don't have problems. I never thought that when I saw it in theaters, but yeah the more I look around me and EVERY SINGLE F'N thing is about some white guy saying his life is tough, it's like, wtf. Is my black ass in the twilight zone?

Now I know why I didn't fully enjoy Million, Seth himself. He's white, he's perfect, charming, and handsome. There's nothing stopping him from having a good life in the movie. All of his problems in the film are forced because of the script. In reality he'd be, well, seth Mcfarlane and be a millionare so he'd have no problems. Mel Brooks subverted this brilliantly by making his comedy western about race and having a black star. Then all his problems make sense.

Or just any comedy movie. Usually and this is the movie Million was trying to be, Dumb and Dumber.. The dumb and dumber movies feature unattractive dumbass guys trying to get through life. That's the set up really. Most comedies do this, have the main characters be losers and they have to overcome their status in life by the end some how. To make a comedy where the main hero is a good looking intellgent guy, and the funny thing is, seth plays his character as if he's a nerdy loser the whole movie. I guess he has no idea he's a dashing guy? What was he doing? The star of the movie should have been Niel Patrick Harris. They got the casting wrong. But whatever, what's done is done.

I'm racking my brain for comedy westerns I've seen that i can compare this to. Not many honestly. Outside of skits on tv shows or even a tv show such as Brisco County which wasn't a comedy but it was comedic at points. In that show, Bruce Campbell plays a similar role to seth's character. The difference is that Bruce played Brisco as far less competent and worldly. He was average and somewhat clueless about things in the series though he was a tough guy a cowboy. But he wasn't mr. perfect. I remember him being that way, not going to go watch the show to find out, but I think so. Anyway, because he was so ordinary you could understand why he had problems and at no point in million are we as an audience buying the seth character as having such a tough time. It doesn't work when you make the hero so damn perfect, he needs something limiting him. And Campbell knew it.

Oh well, it's good to stumble I suppose. Now they know not to make the same errors. The thing that gets me is that, I mean, it should have been f'n like clear from day 1 of shooting that the movie wouldn't work. What movie have any of us seen where the main character was a tall handome guy with charm and class? It's like, just look at any comedy movie. They don't cast those guys unless the gag of the film is a fish out of water scenario where the big handome guy is having to downgrade to being normal. Seth stupidly maybe arrogantly thought he could pass off for a paul reubens or maybe he thinks in his head that he is Paul. No, paul is the embodiment of all losers in history and that's why pee wee works. Essentially Million is as if they made a pee wee herman film with goddamn rob lowe playing pee wee. Now do you see my point?

Casting is key. Ok done..

So close.

I worked my butt off and have gotten part 2 done as a rough cut. That was a journey. So much tiny cutting Voice additions. Need that I do not. Looking forward to cutting the finale. It will be a little rough but its straight forward. No punching or having to get creative. Just stick to the storyboards as drawn and it will be done. That's a relief. I've been feeling anxious about doing the bits with the dialogue. It actually was tough to do. And worst part was letting go of excellent footage I wanted to squeeze in some how. It had to go to keep the flow.

So my tooth is worse now. Decided to floss between it to clean out the gunk. Turns out I just cracked broken bits of it off in the process and it's just horribly got a hole in the outer side as well as the massive cavity now. It's in need of medical attention I know but what can I do. No job. No money. I want to finish the film then go get a job and get the tooth fixed. Thats the way I'm trying to do things. But had no clue I'd open the tooth to further decay. Fuck man.

Will be posting the full vid after its done rendering. After a break going to finish the full final bits then edit the middle stuff which should be nothing too tough then it's over. Nobody watches it and it just sits on my youtube page being ignored. Such is the life of a dreamer.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpV8Ycee7V4

Progress I guess

We're moving slowly forward, trickling. This is called writers block. I'm not a writer in this instance of course, but it fits.

Why, I've always approached these projects I've been doing for several years with a devil may care attitude. I honestly toss them together in a pot, shake it up, and don't give two fucks what it ends up as just that it's done.

So fail man...

I guess I'm depressed, yunno. Not even for legitimate reasons. It's hilarious to still be stuck in this house and be harassed by my parents. Their reasoning and logic is the stuff of either nightmares or the best comedy. The accusations of having depression and shit that they throw at me, then of course I have to suffer the foulest odor my father produces as he's incapable of holding his bladder in his advancing age and smells of urine constantly. So he wafts his smell into my room and accuses me of having depression. I can tell you why I have depression buddy. I try to have a sense of humor about it, but to see this person I know from childhood going down hill physically and mentally and having no give a damns about trying to improve or help himself is truly sad. When he dies, it will be a good thing. I'll not think of it as a loss but finally his horrible existence mercifully being put down. Sick way to think you might say. It's been a sick life I've lived my friends...

I guess also I don't want it to end. This project is all I have in the world. I have no girlfriend. I can assure you, I'd be out living life if I had a good goddamn girlfriend to do it with. I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be stupidly watching endless youtube nerd bullshit. I would be grabbing the finest titties and ass and smiling ear to ear... oh my god.

Will things turn around. I don't bet on such things. Not a lucky guy, sadly. Don't know where I'm going or what the hell I'm doing. I only know I have to work very hard today, and however long it takes and finish what I started, goddamnit.

Just hate it.

So yeah it's been more than rough. Toughest edit I've ever done, ever.

I look forward to just editing little stuff like the frieda static interactions etc.

Ron Howard doing reshoots on his reshoots for Solo, wtf is going on... He's either trying to fix and patch together what's severely broken or something, I don't know.

I have to say, you can plan, hope to do a film a certain way, then it just takes its own course when it pleases as you finally get into it and it kinda grows and becomes its own thing for better or worse.

I don't know... Poor guy's setting himself up pretty bad. If the movie doesn't meet expectations he'll take the blame when it wasn't his movie to start with. He's honestly trying to make something from junkyard scraps.

Making any movie is tough. Making a star wars movie is damn tough. But not for him, it's just that he's fighting the fact that it wasn't his movie to cast, to set up, to mold from the get go, that's kinda unfair to him. I'm betting that behind the scenes he's been told that if this does well the sequel will be all him. Blank check, go nuts, that sort of thing.

So where am I with my project, very sick of it. It's not easy. It's not just, cut cut cut put this there put this here, good to go. It's figure out 20 different ways to cut it at once, figure out the pace, music, the logic of the shit. it's a lot.

Thankfully youtube is full of little fun videos to watch as I edit so I'm not totally concentrating on the madness of struggling with this fan film, plus porn. I mean that's what I do, edit a bit, watch porn, watch youtube, it's not so bad.

Twitter is also a good distraction. Hate myself for seeking attention on there, it's not a good thing. Like when I get a porn star I like reacting to my post, I start thinking I have a chance of hitting that ass. How insane can a guy get. Yeah right. I guess I'm potentially a guy they could get boned by but I'm still a virgin, don't think a girl like that who's eaten a million dicks wants mr. noob. It's funny to them to make us dream. She's a fantastic person though the girl I follow on twitter. If things were different I could see myself with her on a different more personal level beyond the fact that she's gorgeous. She's just cool as hell.

Well I'm gonna dive in again and continue to torture myself with this crap... Do whatever your doing today, my day will be filled with far less enjoyment.

Boom's voice

Finally recorded and played around with Boom's voice.

Will my broken tooth affect my voice acting, that was my first worry truth be told. My whole chewing dynamic has to be re-learned now. I don't even breathe the same anymore since the air flows differently through my teeth and mouth now that a half a tooth is gone.

I feel so like awful knowing that my natural normal voice I've had since forever will have to be emulated now that I'm trying to do it with a injured mouth.

It's not impacting things because I'm actually very good at voice acting and have been doing it for decades, so it's not an issue, and I'll be able to role with it, but still devastating to have my way of life change now for no good reason.

Here's the start of things to the final bits of the battle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0CEK9QMBUg

Stupidly I made the battle retardedly huge. It'll demand me editing it in 3 parts. That's a ballpark idea of part 2, haven't even gotten to part 3, but it'll be the easiest part to do since It's the least fighting.

It's been hell to edit this, but after sitting here searching through all my video I shot, found the lost bits that I need plus excellent material for static I wisely shot. I was just wtf when I couldn't find good shots of me shooting the lightning. It's basically what static does, but I didn't shoot it I thought. No, I did, but it was deep hidden somewhere... good grief, don't get into film making, just stay away if you want to remain sane...

New release date

I've decided it. I'll get the film out by the Han Solo movie's release.

All things considered, I am now injured, it's just a bad time to fly, baby. Gonna have to scour my files for all the footage I need and that will take forever.

It's a good movie. The stuff I've edited so far has come together pretty cool, moreso than I expected. If I can get the music right, the voice acting right, all the necessary bits completed, it'll be worth the wait. See you on release date of SOLO, the star wars Holiday Special Strikes Back!

So the swatting thing

Got to kinda talk about this. It merits discussion.

It's been an unproductive day. Not that I can't and haven't gotten pretty far with the project, but breaking my tooth depressed and bummed me out more than I thought it would and I just barely have much motivation to plug in more footage and cut it much. And I just think I'm stressed a lot.

But yeah once this bullshit is done, I can concentrate on potentially getting a job at access a ride. or wherever, I'll be doing more serious job hunting as time permits and I have my car insurance money ready to go, that will open the door to having a good chunk of a month to go job hunting. I mean, I'd rather get up go to work, come back here after a long day and work on the film, just have something to freakin do all day rather than hang out here watching movies and youtube.

But that brings me to my point of this post.

Amazing. Never have we had a case like this, ever. Someone through online craziness commits a serious crime then some youtuber dude gets to interview him after he damn did it. Wow.

The whole idea of getting personal online, revealing your address, letting random nobodies on the internet know who you are where you live what you're all about. It's always been something I thought would lead to this.

When I browsed forums and some shit stain of a person was like trying to start fights with people and putting his address on line. I always thought, ok, you really want random psycho on the net to show up at your door? Good for you, have fun with that.

And here we have the result. It will lead to these things. I mean the net has proven to me to be a sad place to hope will remain civil and cool. Always one psycho running around online, or whatever.

What gets me as a net vet who's been using the web for a decade and change, It's never been a place where you got personal. I posted at star wars forums with my little avatar, my little posts, whatever. The mods ganged up on me and kicked me around at times, I got the message pretty quick that it was a lawless uncompromising free for all online. Things like that.... I learned not to take the net seriously is what I'm saying. Some random jackass will try to stick it to you or worse what happened here, swat you then go back to his pop tarts and porn.

So all these guys making the internet their home I can't understand. It'll lead to this shit if you draw that much attention to yourself and try to be some internet badass.

What could compel someone to do this kind of thing, what compelled the vegas shooter, the ariana grande concert bomber, just stir shit up...

I listen to the keemstar interview with the guy who got the innocent man killed and it's fascinating, he's not an unreasonable person, not a psycho as the net will soon paint him as, he's just a dumb punk who thought it wouldn't blow up and come back to bite him. He's like, yunno, standard issue internet jerk you get all the time, some nerdy little ass wipe who's hiding behind the shield the internet provides to stir up crap any chance he can get. He would have never been found and this has happened in the past, I mean people do swats all the time and will continue to do them, but they don't f'n do an interview afterwards and put their goddamn REAL picture on twitter. If he wasn't dumb, they'd have never found him, never caught him. And I'm guessing the people who gave him the address to swat are trying to erase every track to them as humanly possible. This was all a sad dominoe effect of internet bravado collapsing in on itself. One jackass called another jackass, who tried to anonymously swat a fake address because who knows if you get real information online, who the f knows, and then the last jackass is the cop who pulled the trigger without thinking.

Last person responsible for all this is the swat guy himself. No doubt a trigger happy power tripping coward with a badge.

If you've ever been bullied by a little pansy cop with a power macho man attitude, you know what I'm talking about. I don't get that shit. What compels some cops to act like assholes to regular every day people. What? You're supposed to deter and go after criminals, not harass and intimidate the average person, but no, they dick around with everybody no matter what, and in this case, we have a clear example of excessive force that a lot of these jackasses enjoy.

I mean I don't want to color all cops this way and I've met as I previously wrote about good decent detectives trying to save a life. But I still get defensive when I have to deal with a cop because they've mostly treated me horribly without reason. So, sorry, not going to feel like the police force is what it should be.

Simply in the end, don't make the net your home. Get out the f'n house. Live. Don't get deep with it. I try not to. Some times yeah, when I get baited by some super nerdy douche bag online trying to stir up crap, it gets to me. I have to learn to not give a giant shit. I really do.

It's precisely because the net has become so personal that we have people goddamn going to this level and calling cops on people online.

Oh my god. I mean, when I was back in the day and some guy straight up flamed me with everything he had, what I wouldn't have given to have been able to retaliate against that. I mean, that's what's going on. Some ass wipe stirs these things up, nobody's able to let it go and we get these things happening.

DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

Stop. Just don't give a fuck when you get cyber bullied. Why is everyone taking the net serious now. Shit wasn't even that big a thing back in my day...

All I can say...

Mob rule

You read about Jesus being crucified and to me yeah that stuff was just a book, not like people are going to stoop to that in the modern world.

Not at all comparing the youtuber generation to Jesus, don't twist it like that, but it's sad to watch how easy people are cajoled into attacking and crucifying a person online without any kind of legitimate serious jury and trial.

It's just clickbait title "x person SUCKS now" some fat cheeto eating douche bag at his computer taking a massive shit on someone from the safety of his house in no where land and there ya go, just character assasinated someone on the internet, you get a cookie, big tough guy.

I literally have had fists in my face as I've fought for my right to survive and live in my years on this earth.

To see some fat slob at his computer able to convince thousands of people to attack another person is so pathetic, so lazy, so childish, it floors me. But that's how the world works now, mob, group think bullshit.

It's happening. Do I care? I'm 31 years old. I've been using the internet since I was 14. No I don't care. What you THINK is so hot and serious right now, will die, mean nothing later on.

So yeah, it's an intense frenzy of furious bees bustling around trying to sting one guy, one ignorant, stupid guy, for the LOL of having stood on a high horse and condemned someone for being a fool, good that's great.

Then it's over. It didn't make a difference. There will be more stupid people doing stupid videos online as is the norm, you accomplished nothing.

Sorry just wanted to rant. Who am I to care or change the way the internet has evolved into this sad pathetic feeding frenzy of keyboard badasses.

Shrugs. I can just push the power button and it's all gone. But yeah, I've fought another person man to man. When any keyboard badass does that and actually stands toe to toe with the person they despise and punches them square in the jaw, you can feel accomplished. Screaming into your keyboard is pussy.

Apparently losing my teeth

Sucks to be honest, yeah. Just chewing some cashews and woop sucker just broke in half. Huge cavity I can see inside it. It's not a full on tooth loss, just the bit that was rotten broke, the rest of the tooth still hanging in there, but talk about depressing shit to have happen.

I do feel like I've just got dunked on, son.

It'll cost money and be a pain in the ass to go get insured again and have to go get this either seriously fixed or just filled in with some stuff. I think that's all I can afford a filling. No such thing as re-engineering and capping the tooth.

So depressing. It's like I goddamn lost a part of myself. It's true. You lose your teeth they're not coming back, it's all or nothing with those things.

I feel like a damn disabled person right now.

So much drama in ONE day. I just thought nothing about today, it'd be another day. Instead I'm dealing with broken teeth and silly internet nonsense that deserves no mention. But still what a load to be burdened with out of no where while I struggle with the edits I'm doing.

Yunno, I don't feel like, oh my life is over, about it. I did nearly get run over by a car one day. I don't look at my life anymore as this goddamn sacred infallible godly existence that has to be preserved and cared for and all that.

I was thinking about it as I inspected my decaying teeth. I'm just really going to grow old and die. I'm not going to live forever am I.

It hits you when your body fails, it HITS you when you finally get it. I'm going to die, old, feeble, aging.

It hits you.

Yeah I could go to the dentist patch the shit up, but then what. Grow old and have the teeth fall out naturally anyway?

I honestly don't give a fucking shit about it anymore. I want to just get the movie done, if I get more cavities and all my teeth go to shit, fuck it...

The debate is over. We finish the film, then worry about other things. I don't have anything left to care about in life.

Disney breaks even

This is an interesting diversion to go on. Where am I with the edit. Stuck in limbo. No I didn't just hang up the stuff and can the project. I've actually progressed so much that it's just the story board plug in elements that need to be put together smoothed out and have music added then the final battle will be finished. I fixed the off bits in the first part, I definitely can finish it and get it up on youtube. It's not over, I'm just beat. I don't have the will to struggle with this and stare at this blazing monitor for hours, gonna go blind if I do that.

Just wanted to talk about this. So apparently Disney's actually made back that 4 bil they bought for star wars already TODAY.

So yeah, Lucas selling star wars was more or less a bargain sale for disney. They're going to see massive, ridiculous profit from the acquisition.

I just personally wish they were more ambitious films. They feel too damn prequelish at times. The OT was so big so massive in size, you could have Han Solo who has no relation to anyone just joining the fight, you could have boba fett, you could have, Lando, Lobot, whatever random new character or whatever and worlds, from some unrelated but interesting corners of the galaxy we never will get to see but sound fascinating.

Prequels have to have everything connect and be so miraculously small and personal in a movie series dealing with the infinity of space itself. Sucks man... So yeah, the new trilogy having the main villain being freakin woopty doo dah, the son of han solo for whatever reason just screams fan service. The finn character and his story is all garbage, no reason to give a damn about him given, and suddenly this one guy's so connected to the events of the skywalker story even though he's random nobody, I'm so sick of him, not even worthy of battle star galactica, get the hell out of star wars. All I'm saying is the new trilogy has its problems despite them trying to cover them in gloss and make us forget they're there.

Do I even care about the next movie, honstly no. It might might not feature ghost Luke. Do I want to see ghost luke? No. I want Luke, in his flesh and blood fighting. Honestly I might just consider The Last Jedi the whole thing, I'll drop force awakens, keep my star wars, 4, 5, 6, 8 the rest is What If.

Star wars deserves better than JJ Abrams. Haven't watched Star Trek beyond fully yet, watched bits of it here and there but from just the little bit of it I've seen, it kicks JJ's Star Trek's ass simply because they got a new better guy in the director seat. Going back to JJ is a huge mistake that Disney can't or refuses to see since they consider him a safe bet. Rian Johnson was the risk, and yet it paid off handsomly. Go for it. Be more risky and play around with newer ways to do star wars. Just jumping backwards with it when it was just getting interesting, so bad.

I'm 31 right now. 20 years ago, Lost in Space thrilled and captivated my little ass MORE than JJ's bullshit. That's why I'm so pissed. It's just not right. I should not think 90s lost in space kicks star wars' ass. And no, I don't think Lost in Space is better than Phantom Menace or Revenge of the Sith. It certainly woops AoTC, but my point is, it shouldn't beat any star wars, gotta try harder.

But anyway, yeah it's just an interesting time to be alive... we're getting big budget Star Wars EU. Everybody is losing their shit on youtube, saddest thing I've ever seen, pathetic grown adults crying about their star wars being ruined when all I'm thinking, is where the fuck were all of you when the EU was pumping shit loads of stories out its ass. I'd rather the official people who worked on star wars at all be having a hand in creating their own EU than some random bunch of people somewhere in a corner of the world, don't you agree?

It's never going to stop. You can't stop EU. Might as well somebody who literally can call Lucas on her cell phone and ask him what he thinks be able to control the direction of the franchise. Like I said, if you think Lucas has NOTHING whatsoever to do with these new movies, you are STUPID. He visits sets. Basically God walking amongst his creation whenever he's invited to wherever etc. He's legitimately interested in where they can take it. He always has been if you look into it.. if you think Coruscant was his creation, No. HE got the idea from EU, thought it was cool and made it official on film. That's Lucas, he's actually malleable and open minded and interested in how people reimagine star wars. I'm sure TLJ got his approval greatly because it did try to open star wars up more to new ideas and concepts. Just imagine a star wars made by someone like del toro, burton, cuaron, just imagine that shit. Love creepy weird ass star wars, love it.

So in the end I'm sad that Lucas isn't manning the helm. He really is the one person on this earth alive who you can KNOW has a full understanding of star wars even if his ideas go off the rails at time. They're 100% authentic star wars and will feel real. Of course now we're all struggling with the possibility of whether star wars can work without him. In some respects I think it can. I mean if you get the right guy like Genndy on it, it'll definitely be practically 100% since that's Genndy at his soul, he's a star wars kid. He won't mess around and keep it in line with how it should be done. Then you get the divisive nature of someone like Rian Johnson coming along and taking star wars and shredding it and putting it back together his own damn way he feels like it, and you wonder IF this can work, can star wars still be star wars when it's done like this and it's not familiar.

All i can say is that I've read EU as a kid. I feel the same way about those books as I do about the new movies even if the old actors return. There are EU that are so good, SOOOO STAR WARS. Even more than the prequels. Yes, it can be done, it'll be tough as shit, but it can be done to emulate the star wars feel in an EU fashion and we're getting there. Kinda have to divorce ourselves even MORE from JJ abrams rocky start to things, but in the next film, if they take it further, make the universe not feel tiny and personal, make it feel epic, have a new fun story, new good characters, yes, it'll be fine.

And maybe Lucas will feel like selling it was a bad idea... Could have kept the rights, made all this stuff himself with more creative imput allowed. Damn though, don't think he wants that. He's quite humble about his faults and does know that his own ego will get in the way of someone elses vision getting made so maybe there's that, but the news out that Disney stands to surpass the 4 bil they paid for it to me, Lucas is kicking himself, if he asked for MORE Disney would have gladly paid it... that's the thing. But well, that ship has solar sailed.