Current status report

Getting sick I guess. I feel ill, don't know what I've been consuming to cause this, but situation is not good right now. I'm struggling, having to suffer every single time the rotting pile of death that is my own father bothers me. I wish my life wasn't the way it was. Oh how I envy people I glimpse online who don't end up living with a person who's content smelling like a subway psycho.

It's like instant pain psychologically when he comes with that shit to my door to drag his drama on my shoulders. Just piss off the planet already. I'm tired of you. There's nothing left to do but leave... Going out with a bang, I must say, a sad commentary on black life. Blacks don't care apparently how they meet their exit in this life, foul smelling, old, fat, useless. That's how this man wants to be remembered. Messes a person up thinking about it.

Honestly never saw this coming. I lived my childhood knowing the future wasn't going to be bright, but not in any way a living hell. I never conceived that. There was a slight hope that I'd have a girlfriend all that stuff, I did hope for that once. Not this scenario where I'm being hunted down and all this utter bullshit. Can't say I saw this coming..

Made progress on my film. That's the only high point on this day. It's going forward. I mean. I'm exhausted and horny and don't want to be bothered with it to be honest. My mind is just constantly full of thoughts of fucking, it's just the way its' been for so long, never ending story goddamn... all the ass in the world around a nig and he can't get none, isn't that funny.

Well the edit I did today though tough came out really spectacular. It's the dream sequence where Static encounters his former self. I don't know why I shot all this crap. It's not even story boarded. It's just something I was thinking would be a fun bit to get and I shot it not really knowing if I could get it to work or fit. It fits. It's exactly as I thought, a really cool little sequence. And yep, totally inspired by Superman 3 junkyard fight. But I'm not and could never pull off a fight....

It's coming along...

In further news. Uh, going to get back into instacart and run groceries some more up here in this area of the bronx and wherever. It's daunting because last time I f'd up on my way to the supermarket since my gps failed me. And lovely world this is, the super market is right next to a toll high way. So if you miss the one single tiny exit going to the super market, you're fucked. I say that harshly because that's how the toll people will treat you and you will be arrested if you don't pay the toll. It's asinine. I was simply lucky that I had tons of cash in the car from all my tips to pay the toll for the full 7 mile trip it took to U turn and get back to the super market. Hole situation was just stupid. If I was the toll guy I'd have given a nig a break and said I understand, go ahead, it's all good, just pay the other side. No, paid twice, such a messed up world this is. Badass supermarket though, so many cute white girls in there when I went in there. White people super markets are so amazing, jesus christ, it's like a mini theme park. They don't play, boy.

Goddamn, well I'm done, gonna struggle some more with this crap.

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