Where I be

Shit.

I guess I'm out of gas. I've been editing, but it's not flowing, don't got the feel of passion and drive, it's not going well. Just barely motivated.

This kinda thing is inevitable when you throw so much of your heart and soul into this stuff, you max out. And here I stand. I don't have the juice I once did.

Watching cool world right now. Good Lord, Pitt would have made a hell of a captain america if Hollywood didn't have its head up its ass. He's ok in it. Not anything a million different actors couldn't have done so he doesn't stand out in the role he's playing. Awesome as fuck film though.

Watched all of Orville today. Fascinating show really. Actual good intelligent writing, not just stupid stuff and action, actual thought put into it. I have to respect it although as others have said it's not really that original. It's galaxy quest meets tripping the rift. Believe me, I've been watching Tripping since it was a demo video floating around kazaa. That show too had its moments of intelligence, few, but the premise that Seth is going for has already kinda been done. I don't know what he plans for this show. It's being held back by being sold as a comedy. It's not. It's a legit good star trek show that tosses in out of place awkward jokes. That's not working. Yunno, it's like half a star trek snl sketch, half actual star trek. I have a hard time liking it because it's so contradictory.

It's like it's one of those shows that has to resort to gimmicks and weird shit once its run  its course and it's ratings are dying. It's like it's already resorting to the gimmicks and crap before it even gets to have a chance at lasting too long like the goddamn simpsons and south park have.

All I'll say in the end is the actors better get out there and audition and audition some more because this approach won't keep the show afloat for long if it keeps jerking the audience around with its tone.

Where am I with my project. Ha ha ha, it's like driving me mad. Yunno. I've done tons of these kinds of things back in high school and such. I was always making movies and vids. Never lost my vision until now. I've lost it. I'm starring at the timeline and don't know what the fuck I'm doing with this thing anymore. I've lost my vision. I know the technical bits, plug in files, add music. But what I've lost is my clear grasp of how I want it to work and feel. It's quite gone. But yunno, so be it. I'll struggle with myself and push it forward and get it done like a robot, but it's like I don't feel as fully devoted to it as I once did. That storm of passion has kinda died down and dwindled. It's cuz I failed to meet the deadline prettymuch. Moving it to SOLO, sure smart move and one I can possibly meet, but still, it kills me that I've been this much of a damn idiot. One thing that hurts me most is being proven to be fool. Indeed.