Aaaaaaaaaaaaah

Today was fun I must say. I went go karting. I really enjoyed doing it since it felt like I was in a pilot, on a mission. I get the feeling this is all to get me to become accustomed to doing fighter pilot missions, but that's more of a pipe dream than anything else. Officers are the only pilots. I'm a dude who's still a virgin. An arrogant dick on top of that. I did love conquering the other drivers I must say. It's a part of my personality to be driven to be the best. I kind of feel like that's been built in me from the beginning as if the gov has been watching me all these years to see how I'd develope. it only makes sense that they'd want to make me who I am so that they can get the best weapon possible. I'm so confused though about how this all came to be. When I get into the mil, it won't be, how should I put this, a simple trip to the candy store. They will push me to my limits and beyond since they can't afford to have a soldier who isn't fully prepped for battle. If I'm not nearly perfect, in excellent condition, top shape both mentally and physically, it's over. I'm done. Im so scared but true enough if my father made it through, so will I. I just don't understand HOW or WHY he ended up this crazy dude as a result. Life makes people crazy anyway you slice it. God I pray you are there to give me and everyone of my team mates a safe and efficient boot camp that will transform us into MEN worthy of all the great women in this world.

strange... I feel like it's about to get interesting in the next 9 days... I'll call up my cousin and see if I can meet that holly girl she talked about. I might as well. I'm about to go through hell. I don't have anything to lose.