ooooooooooh man

I'm feeling bad. I'm preparing for what's called a "worse case scenario" in which I'd need to abstain from masturbating for long periods of time. This is day 1. When I stop masturbating my mind is filled with sexual thoughts. I walk around and I see hot young women and yes those stupid high school girls, and I get horny. When does it end? I'm so done with this nonsense and want to relax and get back to feeling ordinary, but it's not happening. One thing I'm glad I discovered though is that Girls are the same way. When a lot of them see you looking all hunky, they get hot and horny too. I honestly never knew this. I didn't think girls liked guys at all in this way but truth be told, a big manly man will make their head spin.

Funny ass thing being a 23 year old virgin. One minute everyone's up your ass trying to get you to not think about sex, think about studies, then next you're being pressured to pop that cherry, stop being selfish and start giving girls a good time out there... Shoot, you think I WANT to be this way? I hate the system. If you're around 17, get that stuff over with. Nobody cares once you hit 18 and are still a virgin. They just expect you to work some mindless job or go to college and sit around all day waiting for corporate to snatch you up. This world's a big joke, kids.

Sigh... still I'm going to be fine and I know it. I'll get through basic. I'll go to tech school and maybe meet a girl there, who knows... Airforce girls are amazing! AMAZING! oh my god, they're not ugly. I can't believe I got this lucky. White girls are awesome, I must say. Never been so close to them before but they're kind of sexier than I thought they'd be and they always show their legs. Oh well let me stop thinking outloud on here.

I'm at a crossroad. I want to get in touch with my old gal pal from kindergarten but she's changed so much over the years, and she probably doesn't want shit to do with a first timer, and holly who the hell knows what she's all about now, and me, I'm just starting to learn to walk again as far as getting my life back on track is concerned. I ain't done yet... Whoever wrote the book on aging needs to re-evaluate exactly WHEN a man becomes a man because it certainly isn't at 18. When he has a secure career, money, sex life, knows who he is inside and out, THAT'S when a man is a man in my view. And that's what women want, a Man, not some scrappy kid off the street looking for a quick screw. Someone to have kids with, someone to love, someone to love them.

shrugs, I'm on my way...