Difficulties of the rapid minded

shit. I'm in a rut right now. I have mild ocd. I have to conclude that. Because right now my mind is completely obsessed with figuring out what some old tv interview I watched was about. It's so stupid. I know it's stupid. But yet it's killing me that I can't recall the full details of the show. I tell myself to "let it go" but it doesn't happen. i won't let it happen. I have the memory, it's just not coming to me.


That's what I do a lot. I think about stupid insignificant shit.

You all out there are living your lives, raising your children, going to parties, fucking. And I'm worried about remembering spiderman's theme music.

Some things i can't EVER get back, and although it hurts to have to leave those memories behind, I have to just take the bitter pill and move on from them. Like some girl I used to watch on youtube. I get the idea to go back to her channel and see what she's up to, and blasted I forgot the bitches name. Just like that, it's as if she never existed... and I feel terrible for failing to recall it.

I don't even know why. I've NEVER been a super smart guy. But one thing I pride myself on is my brain's speed. If I need to recall something, a feeling, an image, even a word's definition (I'm verbal oriented mind) this fucking thing has never failed me. It's why I can do what I do, be creative, whatever...

Like dr quest said, his excellent memory is both a blessing and a curse.

I remember almost everything in my life with vivid detail. And as much as I recall the good times, I also recall the bad. That's what he meant. Sometimes it's good not to be super smart, and over analyze things.

I'll dare say the good thing about being super smart is being rich. Being some kind of freak of nature genius with a superior iq or photo memory, must be hell if you want to relax yourself and get away from thinking about shit too much.

I say to myself. Forget the past. Think about the boobs and the future, maybe even finally getting laid. Yeah... would be nice. But I like things to be in order. I DO have OCD, just not a severe case of it. I mean, ultimately push comes to shove, I'll ditch the whole thing and move on. yes... but nothing better than a nice clean orderly, smooth, operation. Brings a smile to my face when things fit and work, and go well.