Existentialism

Wanted to go meet cree summer down at the borough con. I mean, going to see taimak, when I did that. The bravery I had to go do it. I was scared pissless to go down on the subway, go actually hang out at a con. It was my first time, and I've never been in the middle of that situation. So to break through and just go for it and get it done was eye opening and just a good experience. Don't live your life in a bubble... just don't. I would have gone, should have gone. Cree is nuts, man. She has no idea how much a huge part of my life she is... like, I think she does of course being prettymuch in everything under the sun, but for me personally, I literally freakin saw that girl in everything growing up... EVERYTHING. Would actually like to have met her for once...

But I'm glad I just decided to stay home today instead of running around the city for an autograph or a photo op.

The tweet like from her was good enough to acknowledge how much time we've spent with each other without having met in person really...

My sister is an insane fan of a Different World... INSANE. I mean, GOD, if Judith had met cree would have meant more to HER than me.

What a show, that was. I took it for granted, we all did. A show about black people for black people that didn't rely on stereotypes, wow. How the shit did that happen?

Sigh, what a day. Tiger Woods in the shit... Grew up liking him a lot. Hope he bounces back from all this. Media's eating him alive at the moment.

What else to say... not much, just rambling. Appreciating that I have the opportunity to film my static shock movie thing. Dreading having to suffer through the process of shooting, editing etc. Satisfied with some of the rough stuff I've gotten together.

I don't plan to stop though. I do enjoy film and filmmaking. Got the filmmaking bug brutha!!! I mean what the hell else am I supposed to do while I am alive! I've always been into art, makes sense to stick with it...

It kinda bothers me though.... the way people are critics of films but hardly ever make them or understand the labor involved in it. There truly is no such thing as shooting a movie. Only RE-shooting a movie. Magic School bus shit. Take chances, make mistakes...