Got to get a car

In case you haven't figured it out, I do indeed have a job. Joke more like it, not a job. I mean it's money, that's all it means to me, nothing more nothing less. I could care less about it... I need money, this is the only way to get it pretty much...

Sucks to take the subway to work. I mean, it just makes you feel bad about being black.

Not something to feel any way about, but when you hang out and see the 100th piss soaked homeless retarded black person on the subway, yeah you feel like you're on the wrong team that's for sure.

I'd rather be dead than hobbling around all damn night asking for pocket change from people on the train as my daily career. Fuck that up its ass.

Push come to shove, yeah I'd hit the library and improve myself some how, find a way to make bread some how. Not fuck around in front of innocent people on the train like that.

But I'm not surprised. I hate to admit it, but I've lived with black people a long ass time. They're not the most quality human beings. I'm not afraid to admit this. I've lived it, been a part of this underground hand me down situation all my life, hanging at the coat tails of the upper class... it's like, I'm so used to expecting some stupid shit to happen in regards to blackitude on the daily basis, it's just inevitable. Oh my father's going to do something dumb today. Oh my mother is going to be completely self righteous and ignorant as hell today. Just clockwork.

Yep, my mother is one of those black women. Self righteous thick headed and without a shred of reason. No doubt the most annoying kind of black person, a super duper ignorant as balls one.

Boy do I sound racist as hell. Try not to be... but when you are in the trenches with black folk, you gonna end up being that way, can't damn do anything about it.

Nuff of that, just blowing steam. I mean it's such a frustrating thing to get on the train and some dude fucks your day up out of no where like an asshole. Keep your piss smelling ass to yourself, don't put it out for the world to see... my fault, just don't take the subway, avoid that shit, my bad.

Only thing good I have to say about work is that there are nice looking bitches working where I work. Not doing my job, but the desk stuff. I mean, it's like, mmmmmm good looking little hottie I get to see once in a while. She waved at me all happy go lucky like she's aware I'm checking her ass out. Hell yeah I'm looking at your ass. You wear a thong and tight pants, what the hell do you think I'm going to do...

Just constantly searching for a car. I work with cars all day, so I'm dead set on getting the Hyundai Accent . It's exactly what I need. Tiny car, 4 doors, good for parking in a crowded city etc.

I want to run amazon flex and maybe uber for extra money... Going to need a solid 1000 dollars to afford a car. Then have to pay for insurance. We're talking 1500 saved up. And if I was in a reasonable intelligent house hold, my father would help me get a car immediately to get to work on time nicely and of course start making extra money running app based jobs. But he's going to go into his fantasy universe where he's the center of the whole world and be a melodramatic douche about it, and just whine so I'm not going to have that advantage unfortunately. It's the way it is... sigh...

I mean just how horrible is my father, eh. Think about it. I have a steady stable fucking job. I need a car to get to it and could easily in freaking NY run uber and amazon flex. But he won't help me get to that point... He won't and sadly I know it. He'll do what he always does, WOE IS ME!!! Scrunch up his face and growl to himself and just bitch and moan about it while refusing to help me, a person who's just trying to do work and contribute to society! Of course helping me would some how some way under the fuck all sky be a bad thing!! :? shrugs!

That's blacks!!! You want to know why my father won't just say "yeah cool, I'll help you out until you're fully secure in your job and are capable of paying me back."

Cuz black people LOVE sticking it to other black people. It's just odd shit. It makes him feel good to some stupid extent to see me suffer. No joke, that's what he wants to do. Make me have to struggle to get to JFK when I could just drive there like everyone else does.

Ain't no loyalty between two black people, NOT A SCRATCH.

Ah well, don't know what to do now but keep pressing on with the static shock shit I'm making. Wow though, have to say you "adults" are pussies. I just want to kick half of you assholes in the face every day. Give you a taste of reality.

You all act so damn sensitive and weak, it offends me as someone who's NEVER had the luxury of living life feeling safe.

Always scared of the black guy in the room, on the train, whatever. Always a little pussy and scared of the black guy around your kids. Grow some balls and stop being a pussy, it's insulting to me. I've never gone a day feeling like the world was my play ground and everyone should conform to my expectations. Shit was just the way it was. Deal with it.

Alright, gonna be going through hell to afford a car. Wish me luck...