The things I can do and the things I can't

Well life is a funny thing, it really is. Well I got to say It's been a fun life. I will die some day, no doubt. The things I try to understand from here forward is what is it that is my purpose in this world. There's a lot less racism these days but due to the fact that our lives are limited, and of course the fact that life is not fair, black people are ALWAYS going to be Cattle.

it's just the way life goes. Of course the claim is being made that there is no racism anymore, it's just that the smartest and strongest people are the ones who are in charge. But no, there is never going to be a time to come when every white person intends to turn black.

I think about who I am as a White/Black person. This really fucking makes my life harder because I don't know where to stand. I exist in two worlds. My white side makes me think, I should have some kind of good shit in this world. But the Black side of me knows that that will NEVER happen.

But not all is lost. I can tell you this. I grew up being very much in love with art, technology, and of course anything intelligent. I can't really stand being told I'm not smart because that's my whole fucking life, it sucks to be called this and that but being a black nerd is extremely complicated. You are expected to be all kinds of things and then theres just yunno white people hate you black people hate you because you're not black enough. I don't know, life is a fucking mess for a black nerd. It's like even IF you present yourself as some kind of smart guy, someone will try to make you look stupid.

You know WHO I am? I'm superman. I'm Jesus. I'm the guy who's going to do the RIGHT thing. When people are intending to do the wrong. I'm a hero.

I'm an AIRMAN. Or at least I try to be. WTF, yunno. WTF. It's a different world.... I think to myself, why not go back to college and shit. I don't know... I never even BEGUN to think about like, what it would mean to be an adult. Honestly I don't know if I am one yet. Maybe when you fuck a bitch you become one?

You shouldn't have to join the military to get laid, but they don't care. They'll use that as an incentive in the end. I think, OK, just go to university and fuck all the young college girls or something. Heh, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Goddamn it's not going to happen is it. Getting pussy. It's too late. I don't even care anymore. I see mad like teenage girls still. Ready ripe to get fucked.

I wouldn't mind getting some of that but it's against the law. Whole fucking goddam atomic bomb of shit is going to come crashing down on my black ass if I go anywhere near a hot young teenage bitch.

Shit, actually ANYTHING I do is going cause a mountain of crap to explode on me. Very SMART White men in this world are ready to kick my ass.

I think to myself, FUCK IT, Let's go to war... I really do. You want to start shit with me you're gonna get it, I'm not going down easy.

but I just hope to get fucking goddamn laid. That's not too much to ask? Problem is, people don't give a damn, they'll kill you just because they're fucked in the head.