Sunday, February 9, 2014

so... I'm black....

Not something I ever really thought would be a problem when I got older, but I was very very fucking wrong.

Look at things this way. Elite class white people get together and figure out ways to take on monumental projects and jobs.

The thing that concerns them is whether black people are going to get in their way and make their tasks more difficult than necessary.

You have to be some fucking freak of nature super genius black guy then to gain any kind of respect from elite whites, asians, and Hispanics at top level jobs.

Hell, never really knew it, but the reason for abstinence only programs is because white people are wanting to keep tabs on who's fucking who in this world and make sure that blacks aren't spreading their blackness too much and too far.

Goddamn do I wish I could go back to being an ignorant kid, playing with toys and watching cartoons. I do not like living my life feeling like I'm this fucking outcast in society....

It sucks. I gotta say to be singled out for being the black guy in the room every where I go. That's just really hard to accept. I always considered myself to be a laid back cool surfer dude and indeed I was living the life style of a typical 90s white kid for all my life.

Suddenly I'm the black guy in the room now...

Good fucking GOD. On top of that I'm starting to turn white as I get older so it's like it's even more ambiguous what the fuck I am.

That's what I'm trying to say. Is that I identify with my white side and my black side. I don't think I have to ACT black at all. I can act white and it'd be legit because I actually am.



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