gonna get some dinner, then it's gonna be rough cut time...
As much as I wanted to get it out tonight, it wasn't happening. Too much mental angst in my brain causing me to slow down and not feel driven enough.
But after looking at my footage I'm feeling more confident I can actually scrap it together and make it work.
It will be a nice little movie, so if you want to have a party, beer, popcorn, whatever and laugh your pants off with a silly ass film, you'll get that from this bastard. I've killed myself to make it, lost weight, broke a tooth, sprained my wrist, gotten f'd up in a lot of ways, nearly got mugged by wacko jacko in the woods, discovered some ladie's phone who's probably gotten killed in there sadly, what else, just been an adventure this thing. And finally with merely less than a month left it's gonna be over. My apologies and I mean this to all the elder folks who probably wanted to check out the final thing and didn't live long enough to see it happen, so sorry for being so slow... I mean, I know probably some kids were like little kids when this started and are now well into their teens or early adulthood and are like not giving a f about this anymore....
But I do, I grew up on static and I devoted so much time to the series, to following phil Lamar's career, I'm blown away that he's not gotten a live action treatment by now, It's just utterly unbelievable crap.
And if nothing else comes of this, I've broken in my acting/filmmaking skills so if I ever end up getting into it DOUBT IT, I have experience and am not some noob.
If there's any truth at all to what old film makers say it's this. Go out and shoot. It's honest to GOD the only way you'll get good. It's the only way.... If I didn't go out and figure out little nuances and ways to make this work, I'd be lost still. Researching it all day probably wouldn't have taught me how to make these things as much as going out and attempting them.
You can't read about doing like areal shots with a balloon. I just had to figure out the hard way that the wind was going to be a huge issue etc... like literally the shot I got was one of dozens where the wind died down for a brief second, f's sake...
And like I previously mentioned, it's infinitely easier to do close ups (and you need lots of close ups as I discovered.) on a green screen than wasting your time and going out and shooting it in the real location...
Hell of a massive epic film. I'm looking forward to comparing mine to the one those facebook guys are working on... Mine's more comic bookish if that means anything. Theirs looks more serious, so we'll see. Of course the big dogs with the budget and money have been able to do better stuff so I'm not thinking mine will be better, but mine isn't just a hokey dokey crappy little youtube fanfilm, it's gonna be big time...
alright, I'll be back with the rough cut. It will have continuity errors all kinds of off bits but it should give you an idea of what I'm trying to create here.
Upon SOLO's release I will hell or high water be releasing the full cut. As far as special editions go, that will happen in time to be sure, there's things I want to do. I've had to cut an entire sequence for time cuz it just wasn't pushing the story forward, might show up in the special edition box set... gonna have to learn to master a dvd/bluray and stuff. I did shoot little vlogs while shooting. So there will be a behind the scenes docu kinda thing like the big guys do...
alright, i'm out, hasta luego
Monday, April 30, 2018
Sunday, April 29, 2018
Wonderful world of editing
got nothing to do but wait for the joker scene to be finished rendering...
quite a long torturous journey it was but ugh it's over, that's all that matters to me now...
my thoughts on the editing process. It's the same thing as painting. I've done my share of art pieces, a hell of a lot, and so I'm a vet in regards to the process artists go through where they have an idea for what they want to make, then it grows and changes and develops its own life....
Was hoping this edit would be simple cut and paste stuff. Was wrong. It ended up demanding hard fx work like deep after fx manipulation. I did some stuff in after fx that I was confident I could do but it kept rendering out flawed and so I had to fix it, so it's an extremely complex shot that lasts all of maybe 5 seconds...
I might actually do an fx break down of all the fx stuff, showing how it was done since that in itself is something to behold.
Like, I've been f'n around in after effects for a solid 5 years, I've become something of a master of it....I was surprised by how skilled I was making the shot work. I just knew what I needed to do to get it to work since I've been through so much in after fx and had to do so many tweaks and such with it on old stuff...
Yeah, I can definitely claim to be an advanced level user by this point... if you watch the joker stuff in the movie and see the ball fall and hit me then roll to the side of the screen, ALL OF THAT, is fake. I split the screen and used different bits to frankenstein the whole thing together.... and it came out perfect....
The key was understanding how to animate the masks. I've learned that the masks need to be animated sequentially, not from any random spot in the time line. Either do it from start to finish or it's going to be a jumbled mess. On top of that none of the lighting worked out. I learned from experience that long fades trick the eye better than short fades so I long faded every thing I could and you simply don't notice when all the bits fade to other bits, just took all day that damn shot. Horror show and nobody will know how much I worked on that... Not only doing tons of takes, but then cobbling the shot together... sad but eh, that's what it's all about...
I'm kinda scared to be honest. I'm not an actor and don't really have this extroverted kinda persona so I don't know if I'll want people to see my performance as Joker. I'm proud of it because I did it in the freezing f'n cold, lots of little nice emoting going on I threw into it. He's Joker to me. I don't and never will like evil asshole joker. Joker's supposed to be an unpredictable clown. That's it.
Kinda stole a lot of stuff from Hamill and Burton's versions but he's totally my Joker at least the one I wish movies would finally do and stop messing around with emo versions.
Caesar was on to something I say...
What now.... going to forge a rough cut of the film using every massive render of scenes that I got, push it up on mega and provide a link here for ya all... as a gift for continuing to read this blog. I'm no longer getting the badass numbers I somehow got years ago. Don't have a damn clue why I even reached hundreds of views... I can assure you you wasted your time on me. But for hanging with my weird ass, you'll get something for it...
See ya later...
quite a long torturous journey it was but ugh it's over, that's all that matters to me now...
my thoughts on the editing process. It's the same thing as painting. I've done my share of art pieces, a hell of a lot, and so I'm a vet in regards to the process artists go through where they have an idea for what they want to make, then it grows and changes and develops its own life....
Was hoping this edit would be simple cut and paste stuff. Was wrong. It ended up demanding hard fx work like deep after fx manipulation. I did some stuff in after fx that I was confident I could do but it kept rendering out flawed and so I had to fix it, so it's an extremely complex shot that lasts all of maybe 5 seconds...
I might actually do an fx break down of all the fx stuff, showing how it was done since that in itself is something to behold.
Like, I've been f'n around in after effects for a solid 5 years, I've become something of a master of it....I was surprised by how skilled I was making the shot work. I just knew what I needed to do to get it to work since I've been through so much in after fx and had to do so many tweaks and such with it on old stuff...
Yeah, I can definitely claim to be an advanced level user by this point... if you watch the joker stuff in the movie and see the ball fall and hit me then roll to the side of the screen, ALL OF THAT, is fake. I split the screen and used different bits to frankenstein the whole thing together.... and it came out perfect....
The key was understanding how to animate the masks. I've learned that the masks need to be animated sequentially, not from any random spot in the time line. Either do it from start to finish or it's going to be a jumbled mess. On top of that none of the lighting worked out. I learned from experience that long fades trick the eye better than short fades so I long faded every thing I could and you simply don't notice when all the bits fade to other bits, just took all day that damn shot. Horror show and nobody will know how much I worked on that... Not only doing tons of takes, but then cobbling the shot together... sad but eh, that's what it's all about...
I'm kinda scared to be honest. I'm not an actor and don't really have this extroverted kinda persona so I don't know if I'll want people to see my performance as Joker. I'm proud of it because I did it in the freezing f'n cold, lots of little nice emoting going on I threw into it. He's Joker to me. I don't and never will like evil asshole joker. Joker's supposed to be an unpredictable clown. That's it.
Kinda stole a lot of stuff from Hamill and Burton's versions but he's totally my Joker at least the one I wish movies would finally do and stop messing around with emo versions.
Caesar was on to something I say...
What now.... going to forge a rough cut of the film using every massive render of scenes that I got, push it up on mega and provide a link here for ya all... as a gift for continuing to read this blog. I'm no longer getting the badass numbers I somehow got years ago. Don't have a damn clue why I even reached hundreds of views... I can assure you you wasted your time on me. But for hanging with my weird ass, you'll get something for it...
See ya later...
Friday, April 27, 2018
joker rough cut finished
Well I like it, don't know if anyone else will...
3 days till planned, kinda full rough cut kinda thing...
Need to find footage I'm missing and such.... But yeah, very quality attempt at making the scene function...
3 days till planned, kinda full rough cut kinda thing...
Need to find footage I'm missing and such.... But yeah, very quality attempt at making the scene function...
Going to hopefully finish tonight
Cosby getting it bad huh. My honest opinion, this is some kind of publicity stunt and none of us will ever know the truth about it... I don't see it... why would Bill even consider drugging anyone, he had money to buy it back then...
Something I'm learning about little by little, women are crafty. They know they can point a finger at a guy sob and cry and he'll end up crucified.
I've been on the receiving end of this treatment and of course over heard a girl claim she'll call cops on a guy if he doesn't do what she wants.
This is the raw deal, and it's sad to see it and know it's one of their backup plans in life, but it's as clear as the sky is blue.
I'm going to maybe think Bill was a bit of a hound dog behind the scenes, sure, but that was the culture of the old days... The question nobody is asking is if they were so violated by him, why the hell wait until today to seek revenge?
He's been out of the public eye for years, decades by now. Why is it important or even worth it to publicly shame and destroy the career of a senior citizen who's practically dead anyway and honestly probably doesn't give a damn about what occurred eons ago.
I mean it's like pulling a girl's hair in kindergarten then she up and finds you at the nursing home you're dying in and takes you to court...
Yeah, he was a horny bastard, probably did some shady stuff back when that was the culture of the club scene, it's not like he's living life to the fullest these days.
I don't buy any of the hyper reaction to this as if f'n goofy ass bill cosby was just coming up with complicated deep ways to get a girl drugged and have his way with her or whatever blatantly over the top visual is being pushed forward.
In any event this is going to be a step back for the guys who are innocent and get accused by some chick. We were making progress there. People were actually starting to wake up to the fact that there are heartless women in this world who will lie. But forget it now, any black guy at all who's accused of touching a girl in any way is guilty and getting booty pounded in jail... period.
What a damn mess... well best pray you don't have an old girlfriend in the past that you pissed off if you're famous and black, that's all I'm thinking.
I mean, it's just straight as an arrow the amount of pure condemnation. Nobody at all trying to see the good the man has done. I did learn a lot from the cosby show growing up. So what? I did think that I could become a doctor because of the show. So what? It's like, well should we just not feel inspired by the good he's done?
What the f is the world's problem that they have to be so black and white like this...
What victory has been won here? You took down an old black man who's not famous anymore and spends his days taking meds and waiting to die. Good job? Fish in a barrel?
I mean we have a president who's apparently allowed to freakin brag about doing similar things but he's fine, he's white.
Yes it is about race. If cosby was white, this would not have been front page news.
Black guys always get their flaws magnified. ALWAYS.
And it's sad. It's depressing to see everybody crucifying the old weak black guy and having a good time doing it. Try to be better than that. It's like, yeah he could have done these things. But there has to be some common sense in regard to the fact that he's elderly and the cosby that did those things is long dead anyway.
Well don't want to rant all day, just was thinking somebody needed to be the voice of reason amidst the inevitable storm of emotional outrage.
Indeed the "outrage machine" sucks, it's sad that there's this little army of keyboard warriors ready to pounce on the next controversy. Get a damn life. Yes I know, who am I to talk.
Going to be grinding away tonight on the Joker scene, get into deep editing mode where you just kinda get into the groove of working out a scene. I finished gathering all the footage and have basically been procrastinating and not wanting to get into it, but i will. I'm driven to finish what I started.
Something I'm learning about little by little, women are crafty. They know they can point a finger at a guy sob and cry and he'll end up crucified.
I've been on the receiving end of this treatment and of course over heard a girl claim she'll call cops on a guy if he doesn't do what she wants.
This is the raw deal, and it's sad to see it and know it's one of their backup plans in life, but it's as clear as the sky is blue.
I'm going to maybe think Bill was a bit of a hound dog behind the scenes, sure, but that was the culture of the old days... The question nobody is asking is if they were so violated by him, why the hell wait until today to seek revenge?
He's been out of the public eye for years, decades by now. Why is it important or even worth it to publicly shame and destroy the career of a senior citizen who's practically dead anyway and honestly probably doesn't give a damn about what occurred eons ago.
I mean it's like pulling a girl's hair in kindergarten then she up and finds you at the nursing home you're dying in and takes you to court...
Yeah, he was a horny bastard, probably did some shady stuff back when that was the culture of the club scene, it's not like he's living life to the fullest these days.
I don't buy any of the hyper reaction to this as if f'n goofy ass bill cosby was just coming up with complicated deep ways to get a girl drugged and have his way with her or whatever blatantly over the top visual is being pushed forward.
In any event this is going to be a step back for the guys who are innocent and get accused by some chick. We were making progress there. People were actually starting to wake up to the fact that there are heartless women in this world who will lie. But forget it now, any black guy at all who's accused of touching a girl in any way is guilty and getting booty pounded in jail... period.
What a damn mess... well best pray you don't have an old girlfriend in the past that you pissed off if you're famous and black, that's all I'm thinking.
I mean, it's just straight as an arrow the amount of pure condemnation. Nobody at all trying to see the good the man has done. I did learn a lot from the cosby show growing up. So what? I did think that I could become a doctor because of the show. So what? It's like, well should we just not feel inspired by the good he's done?
What the f is the world's problem that they have to be so black and white like this...
What victory has been won here? You took down an old black man who's not famous anymore and spends his days taking meds and waiting to die. Good job? Fish in a barrel?
I mean we have a president who's apparently allowed to freakin brag about doing similar things but he's fine, he's white.
Yes it is about race. If cosby was white, this would not have been front page news.
Black guys always get their flaws magnified. ALWAYS.
And it's sad. It's depressing to see everybody crucifying the old weak black guy and having a good time doing it. Try to be better than that. It's like, yeah he could have done these things. But there has to be some common sense in regard to the fact that he's elderly and the cosby that did those things is long dead anyway.
Well don't want to rant all day, just was thinking somebody needed to be the voice of reason amidst the inevitable storm of emotional outrage.
Indeed the "outrage machine" sucks, it's sad that there's this little army of keyboard warriors ready to pounce on the next controversy. Get a damn life. Yes I know, who am I to talk.
Going to be grinding away tonight on the Joker scene, get into deep editing mode where you just kinda get into the groove of working out a scene. I finished gathering all the footage and have basically been procrastinating and not wanting to get into it, but i will. I'm driven to finish what I started.
Thursday, April 26, 2018
goal today
Just do the joker scene and get it down.
It's actually not going to be too difficult... It's the funniest f'n scene in the whole movie. Quite proud of it really though of course it's going to demand a lot of work due to my lack of organization...
Ugh, but I'll be happy when it's over... good material just such a mess because I shot it fast and only did it twice because the make up was not easy to apply so no way was I going to be doing it several times.
We'll see....
Been watching f'n grinch to gear up for Solo if that means anything.
It's a frustrating film. You want to love it, but it's never played straight at all, it's just constantly blatantly making it clear it's a big hollywood movie and that's unfortunate. Would have worked better as a more artistic film rather than a jim carrey Grinch sketch comedy bit.
just when carrey nails the Grinch act and sells his performance, he winks at the camera and says Smmmmmmooooooookin and ruins it. Just ugh, must have been a nightmare for him if he didn't care that much and just said fuck it.
As for Ron Howard and his talents or whatever... His directing is on point, he knows how to create damn good solid performances and adds a levity to his films that makes them fun always, but at times for me it's often too soft. He's yet to make a truly groundbreaking film that reinvents the genre or anything... it's always solid plain old, pretty good elevator music of a movie... Is it because that's how he was brought up, just square and such a kinda chipper guy? Probably, who knows...
Solo will be that stuff. It's what Disney wanted, a safe director they could manipulate and wouldn't fight them on any decisions. No offense to Ron, but he's being played like a damn violin, the guy.
got to give it up to Lord and Miller, they had a vision and didn't backtrack on it and I do hope whatever they do next completely stomps all over the solo movie, which I doubt will be anything special...
It's actually not going to be too difficult... It's the funniest f'n scene in the whole movie. Quite proud of it really though of course it's going to demand a lot of work due to my lack of organization...
Ugh, but I'll be happy when it's over... good material just such a mess because I shot it fast and only did it twice because the make up was not easy to apply so no way was I going to be doing it several times.
We'll see....
Been watching f'n grinch to gear up for Solo if that means anything.
It's a frustrating film. You want to love it, but it's never played straight at all, it's just constantly blatantly making it clear it's a big hollywood movie and that's unfortunate. Would have worked better as a more artistic film rather than a jim carrey Grinch sketch comedy bit.
just when carrey nails the Grinch act and sells his performance, he winks at the camera and says Smmmmmmooooooookin and ruins it. Just ugh, must have been a nightmare for him if he didn't care that much and just said fuck it.
As for Ron Howard and his talents or whatever... His directing is on point, he knows how to create damn good solid performances and adds a levity to his films that makes them fun always, but at times for me it's often too soft. He's yet to make a truly groundbreaking film that reinvents the genre or anything... it's always solid plain old, pretty good elevator music of a movie... Is it because that's how he was brought up, just square and such a kinda chipper guy? Probably, who knows...
Solo will be that stuff. It's what Disney wanted, a safe director they could manipulate and wouldn't fight them on any decisions. No offense to Ron, but he's being played like a damn violin, the guy.
got to give it up to Lord and Miller, they had a vision and didn't backtrack on it and I do hope whatever they do next completely stomps all over the solo movie, which I doubt will be anything special...
Tuesday, April 24, 2018
One month
Been gathering all the joker bits for that scene... need to do pick up shots of batman on green screen cuz I forgot to do it... but overall from my viewing of the stuff I shot, all the material should smoothly work once fully pieced together.... and it will be a task....
One month until deadline... I mean whatever, long as the middle makes sense, fine. I've had the ending done for a while now, so not worrying about that...
I mean damn sorry for taking this long, but it was unavoidable really, not like I'm in the best state and truly the biggest mistake I made was not organizing anything at all so half of the time is spent finding the footage I need.
Got 2 main things left I want to do, shoot for the posters I'll be making for the Blu Ray Covers and theatrical posters and of course get that batman head shot on green screen...
Then it's go time, go step by step scene by scene and fully finish all the fx and sound work.
Surprisingly I put on my joker voice during the joker scenes so I may not even have to fully dub him like I thought... I don't know, I guess I can best play joker while doing hamill's voice... so that's how it all worked out... I remember thinking, don't bother doing the voice since I'll dub it later, but in every single stitch of footage I'm doing the voice so I don't have to worry if there's stuff where I don't do it...
Not the most fun edit but after going through bonkers banana rama to edit the forest fight together (like climbing goddamn everest) this stuff doesn't scare me at all. Just going to be boring beyond measure.
But I guess that's what good film making is, doing it for the passion or something. I just wish I didn't feel like I'm not in a good spot in life right now to be honest, the reality of having to struggle in this world without my parents is starting to become real and cold and does burden my mind every day I have to face the fact that I'm just me, this black guy making a movie nobody cares about, and I got nothing else in the blue hell going on... it's just wtf...
I wonder wtf am I going to do in life at all after the movie's done... always had f'n school, now I don't know where I belong or what I'm gonna do. Of course go scrounge around and find a job. That's for sure... I'd prefer earning money, but whatever... I'll just kinda tackle one problem at a time here...
Trying to just work up the energy and drive to edit the joker/batman scenes then man, I'm gonna have to figure out the structure of the film and where the pieces fit, so it'll be a long 6 days of work....
One month until deadline... I mean whatever, long as the middle makes sense, fine. I've had the ending done for a while now, so not worrying about that...
I mean damn sorry for taking this long, but it was unavoidable really, not like I'm in the best state and truly the biggest mistake I made was not organizing anything at all so half of the time is spent finding the footage I need.
Got 2 main things left I want to do, shoot for the posters I'll be making for the Blu Ray Covers and theatrical posters and of course get that batman head shot on green screen...
Then it's go time, go step by step scene by scene and fully finish all the fx and sound work.
Surprisingly I put on my joker voice during the joker scenes so I may not even have to fully dub him like I thought... I don't know, I guess I can best play joker while doing hamill's voice... so that's how it all worked out... I remember thinking, don't bother doing the voice since I'll dub it later, but in every single stitch of footage I'm doing the voice so I don't have to worry if there's stuff where I don't do it...
Not the most fun edit but after going through bonkers banana rama to edit the forest fight together (like climbing goddamn everest) this stuff doesn't scare me at all. Just going to be boring beyond measure.
But I guess that's what good film making is, doing it for the passion or something. I just wish I didn't feel like I'm not in a good spot in life right now to be honest, the reality of having to struggle in this world without my parents is starting to become real and cold and does burden my mind every day I have to face the fact that I'm just me, this black guy making a movie nobody cares about, and I got nothing else in the blue hell going on... it's just wtf...
I wonder wtf am I going to do in life at all after the movie's done... always had f'n school, now I don't know where I belong or what I'm gonna do. Of course go scrounge around and find a job. That's for sure... I'd prefer earning money, but whatever... I'll just kinda tackle one problem at a time here...
Trying to just work up the energy and drive to edit the joker/batman scenes then man, I'm gonna have to figure out the structure of the film and where the pieces fit, so it'll be a long 6 days of work....
Monday, April 23, 2018
on the menu today
Aghhhhh such frustration such aggravation this project has amounted to in recent days...
Did some extensive work on the flying stuff and it actually came out pretty good. Was struggling with the music for it then just spontaneously thought, ok, why not use flash aaaah from queen, then my brain hit the target and figured out it'd go perfect with the highlander princes of the universe score.
I prettymuch listen to film scores and various musical pieces every day to hopefully find the stuff I need as I edit....
Like if you're going to do stuff that has an epic scope to it, music that fits that visual is always operatic and grandiose, choir music or classical, or in my case a rock with sorta a high pitched acapella which is what queen does so well. But Rock goes very well with static since he's so punkish and surfer dudish, he blends well with that style of music.
I don't mince on music with this stuff. It probably accounts for half if not 80% of the success of the scene working.
As I edit, I try not to be desperate for the scene to work... it can happen where you make the scene essentially into a slide show to music, not a movie scene... So I try to avoid that and keep a narrative, keep a logical story flow, but I've been editing music videos for so long, it's kinda my style, so it's unavoidable.
But I love to just strip the music away and let the scene just exist at times. It bluntly thrusts you into the scene and makes it feel real...
Came out good, gonna try making progress on the shannon scene, then we get to work on the batman joker stuff, which is going to be hell on earth to fix up...
But I can say from this vantage point, this project will be worthy of recognition. Didn't hope for that, but yeah it'll be nifty and be a good little flick to watch....
Did some extensive work on the flying stuff and it actually came out pretty good. Was struggling with the music for it then just spontaneously thought, ok, why not use flash aaaah from queen, then my brain hit the target and figured out it'd go perfect with the highlander princes of the universe score.
I prettymuch listen to film scores and various musical pieces every day to hopefully find the stuff I need as I edit....
Like if you're going to do stuff that has an epic scope to it, music that fits that visual is always operatic and grandiose, choir music or classical, or in my case a rock with sorta a high pitched acapella which is what queen does so well. But Rock goes very well with static since he's so punkish and surfer dudish, he blends well with that style of music.
I don't mince on music with this stuff. It probably accounts for half if not 80% of the success of the scene working.
As I edit, I try not to be desperate for the scene to work... it can happen where you make the scene essentially into a slide show to music, not a movie scene... So I try to avoid that and keep a narrative, keep a logical story flow, but I've been editing music videos for so long, it's kinda my style, so it's unavoidable.
But I love to just strip the music away and let the scene just exist at times. It bluntly thrusts you into the scene and makes it feel real...
Came out good, gonna try making progress on the shannon scene, then we get to work on the batman joker stuff, which is going to be hell on earth to fix up...
But I can say from this vantage point, this project will be worthy of recognition. Didn't hope for that, but yeah it'll be nifty and be a good little flick to watch....
Saturday, April 21, 2018
Secret world of Allison Mack
Goddamn, terrible news. And yeah shocking to put it mildly... wow, she's been arrested for some kind of underground prostitution thing...
Ouch, I really don't want to believe she's that bad a person. It's just we all love her she's great on smallville and I originally first knew her from some old fox show way back when....
Yeah I was like, oh it's that girl from that show I used to see on fox when she was cast in smallville.
It's just, damn, what rich people with money can end up getting themselves into I guess. Us poor people will never know what rich people are f'n doing with their spare time....
I personally like her and hope there's a glimmer of redemption for her. it's just obviously such a strange and unfortunate thing to discover about a beloved actress...
What have I been up to. Discovered an old photo album upstairs. It's something this family has been very negligent about, preserving old photos and that sucks because one of me and my sister's favorite things to do as kids was look through the albums and remember the old days. We grew up side by side and when we got older we'd look through the album to remember those days.... then life shifted into chaos and weirdness and the album got lost and the pictures have been scattered. I'm LUCKY that I have salvaged any of it.
A word on my childhood. It was good in pieces. I lived and breathed cartoons, comics, and movies... Everything else can go to hell. But yeah me and my sister often played videogames and stuff and watched gummi bears together and disney in the afternoon, so I have to say getting to enjoy that and having that was worth all the suffering and nonsense. Having those moments of waking up on saturday to new amazing cartoons, can't possibly be beat.
Nothing beats like the old school nickelodeon that was scruffy and weird and still finding its groove... I think the most fondest time for me was just watching nick on a lazy ass summer day and watching all the crappy shows I hated, to finally get to the good shit like all that, rocko, ren and stimpy... used to go to my friend's house after school to watch his cable since we didn't have it back then, and that's when I first discovered nick. Then we got cable and oh my God, what a beautiful channel...
Hence my knowledge of the show secret world of alex mack, a god awful show but I don't know... nothing else was on... that was life before the internet. you sacrificed, suffered through the boring bad shows or even watched a rerun of 'figure it out' to get to the scheduled good stuff or special movie event. Screw that. I'm more than happy with the instantaneous stuff on the net... though I can live without having the web be so vindictive... Imagine watching freakin tgif and then one of the characters says f you straight to your face during the show, that's what the web is like.
Well trying to render my damn flying scenes. I'm just wiped out man... damn.. been working HARD on this movie, getting things to fit, some how make sense, so I'm drained to bits...
Just I need to motor and press on here and get a big ass sexy rough draft of the movie done, set, ready to go. Then work on the fx and make it nice and clean and then I'll be free to do something else perhaps... now if I could get a job doing this, that'd make sense wouldn't it....
Ouch, I really don't want to believe she's that bad a person. It's just we all love her she's great on smallville and I originally first knew her from some old fox show way back when....
Yeah I was like, oh it's that girl from that show I used to see on fox when she was cast in smallville.
It's just, damn, what rich people with money can end up getting themselves into I guess. Us poor people will never know what rich people are f'n doing with their spare time....
I personally like her and hope there's a glimmer of redemption for her. it's just obviously such a strange and unfortunate thing to discover about a beloved actress...
What have I been up to. Discovered an old photo album upstairs. It's something this family has been very negligent about, preserving old photos and that sucks because one of me and my sister's favorite things to do as kids was look through the albums and remember the old days. We grew up side by side and when we got older we'd look through the album to remember those days.... then life shifted into chaos and weirdness and the album got lost and the pictures have been scattered. I'm LUCKY that I have salvaged any of it.
A word on my childhood. It was good in pieces. I lived and breathed cartoons, comics, and movies... Everything else can go to hell. But yeah me and my sister often played videogames and stuff and watched gummi bears together and disney in the afternoon, so I have to say getting to enjoy that and having that was worth all the suffering and nonsense. Having those moments of waking up on saturday to new amazing cartoons, can't possibly be beat.
Nothing beats like the old school nickelodeon that was scruffy and weird and still finding its groove... I think the most fondest time for me was just watching nick on a lazy ass summer day and watching all the crappy shows I hated, to finally get to the good shit like all that, rocko, ren and stimpy... used to go to my friend's house after school to watch his cable since we didn't have it back then, and that's when I first discovered nick. Then we got cable and oh my God, what a beautiful channel...
Hence my knowledge of the show secret world of alex mack, a god awful show but I don't know... nothing else was on... that was life before the internet. you sacrificed, suffered through the boring bad shows or even watched a rerun of 'figure it out' to get to the scheduled good stuff or special movie event. Screw that. I'm more than happy with the instantaneous stuff on the net... though I can live without having the web be so vindictive... Imagine watching freakin tgif and then one of the characters says f you straight to your face during the show, that's what the web is like.
Well trying to render my damn flying scenes. I'm just wiped out man... damn.. been working HARD on this movie, getting things to fit, some how make sense, so I'm drained to bits...
Just I need to motor and press on here and get a big ass sexy rough draft of the movie done, set, ready to go. Then work on the fx and make it nice and clean and then I'll be free to do something else perhaps... now if I could get a job doing this, that'd make sense wouldn't it....
Friday, April 20, 2018
What I'm doing now
I'm getting pathetic aren't I.... used to have a life, get up, go to school, so much shit going on... now I'm like one of those goddamn youtube jackasses that sits and vomits some asinine crap out his mouth to the world for no goddamn reason other than he's a sad loser douche bag... I am not that at all... I just am and have never really had the circumstances to go out and just live a normal life. Sad to say I always knew my life would be a lot harder than other people's and my prediction came perfectly true... I'm barely able to keep my sanity these days... I'm not gonna lie, why lie. It's just here I sit, got nothing, nobody, no money, and technically I'm supposed to just go running around begging for money from employers left and right, that's all I'm supposed to be, or go to jail. Half of me suspects young black guys are in jail not because they were doing bad stuff, just need food and shelter... It's the reality I'm forced to see and deal with, there's like no safety net for blacks in society. Either be somebody's prison bitch at work or nothing... that's the hard cold truth... and it doesn't register to me. I'm not this little pee wee of a person who's deserving this situation, it's not making sense to me...
Getting aggravating this whole job hunt nonsense... It's hilarious really. Go to a job website and all they got is a laundry list of things you were never taught in school or worst of all they ask if you have years of experience doing the job itself. I have no choice but to conclude the people running job recruitment are absolute idiots...
So yunno, I don't mind where I am at if it means I'm not playing that whole run around in a circle after your own tail game the jobs like to play with people... DERP DERP DERP If you ain't never dun dis jERB you don't get ta doo dis JERB derp!. Let them get the work done themselves or make the requirements actually realistic....
I have applied again to ramp at delta and to amc theaters. One hopes the people who are trying to stick it to me in this world and prevent me from getting a job are either dead or have gotten something else to do with their damn lives....
That's what's going on and I'm fully aware of it. A bunch of butthurt little girls that I personally kinda ticked off are trying to dick around with my attempts to legitimately get a job and possibly kill me off by making it impossible for me to do so... Wow, I thought this was supposed to be a civilized nation...oh, yeah forgot... no it never has been....
I just don't understand it. I'm well aware that if I was white, there'd be people who have it in for me, but I'd fuckin still get paid well and have a glorious life... so that's the difference.
I guess it is because I'm black... there's no gold for any of us, good ones or bad ones. We're all lumped in the same pot. It honest to GOD sucks to have to be like living life now and get the picture that there's a giant disadvantage to being black that you knew was there but it didn't seem real.
I mean let me be clear... I'm not saying I'm a saint, but every fault black people have will be magnified ten fold vs any other race. So I've always had to feel that sense of extra scrutiny on me all my life.
Well I was going to go on an even more in depth tirade but that's the problem with the goddamn net these days. Too many people having hissy fits on youtube and twitter.... just, I remember coming home, sitting down and waiting for pages to load on dial up, not instantly seeing someone losing their shit in my face online because they're bored today.
We're all bored today. Nobody cares.
I should think in those terms... I may have some weird issues with people in this life I'm sadly forced to deal with, but one comforting truth remains. Nobody cares for shit about it.... eventually I'll get another job...
My hopes, to be honest...
Get a girlfriend. Get a good looking big tittied girl friend..... I used to work up in niagara falls as a TSO there... Man, some fine women working up there. Fine....
I mean that's kinda all I'm wanting for now, but you got to kinda deal with a lot of attitudes and stereotypes and stigmas... sadly the black thing gets in the way of a lot of just normal relationship goals, indeed... A lot of people have met the gangstalicious black people and because of that I get immediately f'n stuck in their zone... It's probably the most aggravating thing about being black, having to climb over that little stereotype continually promoted by the gangsta culture and all that... I sit and type and type and type and find myself sounding like one of those black guys in prison who's feeling betrayed by society even though he's guilty of serious crimes....
Yeah it hurts me to feel like I'm one of those black guys. An asshole who goes and starts shit, then pulls out the race card....
It hurts me because I'm not. I'm a loving, nerdy, artistic individual and to have to be EXTRA super duper nice and cheerful to get people to look at me as more than typical angsty black guy is what is honestly the most frustrating, stressing and difficult thing about it all...
Make no mistake, you're guilty of a crime just by walking out your door when your black... But I try not to worry about it.... I like to actually have fun and be cool with people and just be ME, not some fake plastic version who's mr. perfect.
I'm flawed. I've done some bad things I wish I could take back. I remembered a thing I did as a child that brought back a lot of painful regret. I honestly forgot it until a video on twitter triggered the memory of what I did as a kid, and it depressed the crap out of me.
I reasoned that that's life and that's particularly childhood. Although I pride myself on my intellect, in that instance I was not smart enough to know what I did was going to result in such a tragedy...
I'm not fucking perfect. But I'm not a monster. I've met monsters in my childhood. I've met straight horrible terrible human beings in my life and HELL NO I am not one of them. I'm a HERO. I'M STATIC SHOCK.
Anyway.. sorry for going ballistic and just bringing on such depressing subject matter... that's my cross to bare.
What AM I doing now? I'm working on the flying scenes today.
I need to list out what's hardest to do and then tackle the hard stuff:
Roto Scoping the flying shots...
Joker and Batman scene... Why is this scene hard? Probably my fault, I didn't plan it well and gonna have to create it in editing.
Static and Shannon scene after.... this one too not planned well but it will be the most hilarious scene in the film and most embarrassing for me.... But I think I've well enough crossed that boundary and have embarrassed my ass enough anyway...
What else.... just I don't even know. I've literally gone blank on what the f I'm doing with the project right now....
It SHOULD work, yeah I figured it out.... there's a scene where static loses his first costume and has to get a new one. I still haven't figured out how he loses it, or what makes him get injured so badly....
But stay tuned.... will have to iron all this crap out and make it smooth and function in the final big ass rough cut I'll be having cooked up by the end of the month...
Getting aggravating this whole job hunt nonsense... It's hilarious really. Go to a job website and all they got is a laundry list of things you were never taught in school or worst of all they ask if you have years of experience doing the job itself. I have no choice but to conclude the people running job recruitment are absolute idiots...
So yunno, I don't mind where I am at if it means I'm not playing that whole run around in a circle after your own tail game the jobs like to play with people... DERP DERP DERP If you ain't never dun dis jERB you don't get ta doo dis JERB derp!. Let them get the work done themselves or make the requirements actually realistic....
I have applied again to ramp at delta and to amc theaters. One hopes the people who are trying to stick it to me in this world and prevent me from getting a job are either dead or have gotten something else to do with their damn lives....
That's what's going on and I'm fully aware of it. A bunch of butthurt little girls that I personally kinda ticked off are trying to dick around with my attempts to legitimately get a job and possibly kill me off by making it impossible for me to do so... Wow, I thought this was supposed to be a civilized nation...oh, yeah forgot... no it never has been....
I just don't understand it. I'm well aware that if I was white, there'd be people who have it in for me, but I'd fuckin still get paid well and have a glorious life... so that's the difference.
I guess it is because I'm black... there's no gold for any of us, good ones or bad ones. We're all lumped in the same pot. It honest to GOD sucks to have to be like living life now and get the picture that there's a giant disadvantage to being black that you knew was there but it didn't seem real.
I mean let me be clear... I'm not saying I'm a saint, but every fault black people have will be magnified ten fold vs any other race. So I've always had to feel that sense of extra scrutiny on me all my life.
Well I was going to go on an even more in depth tirade but that's the problem with the goddamn net these days. Too many people having hissy fits on youtube and twitter.... just, I remember coming home, sitting down and waiting for pages to load on dial up, not instantly seeing someone losing their shit in my face online because they're bored today.
We're all bored today. Nobody cares.
I should think in those terms... I may have some weird issues with people in this life I'm sadly forced to deal with, but one comforting truth remains. Nobody cares for shit about it.... eventually I'll get another job...
My hopes, to be honest...
Get a girlfriend. Get a good looking big tittied girl friend..... I used to work up in niagara falls as a TSO there... Man, some fine women working up there. Fine....
I mean that's kinda all I'm wanting for now, but you got to kinda deal with a lot of attitudes and stereotypes and stigmas... sadly the black thing gets in the way of a lot of just normal relationship goals, indeed... A lot of people have met the gangstalicious black people and because of that I get immediately f'n stuck in their zone... It's probably the most aggravating thing about being black, having to climb over that little stereotype continually promoted by the gangsta culture and all that... I sit and type and type and type and find myself sounding like one of those black guys in prison who's feeling betrayed by society even though he's guilty of serious crimes....
Yeah it hurts me to feel like I'm one of those black guys. An asshole who goes and starts shit, then pulls out the race card....
It hurts me because I'm not. I'm a loving, nerdy, artistic individual and to have to be EXTRA super duper nice and cheerful to get people to look at me as more than typical angsty black guy is what is honestly the most frustrating, stressing and difficult thing about it all...
Make no mistake, you're guilty of a crime just by walking out your door when your black... But I try not to worry about it.... I like to actually have fun and be cool with people and just be ME, not some fake plastic version who's mr. perfect.
I'm flawed. I've done some bad things I wish I could take back. I remembered a thing I did as a child that brought back a lot of painful regret. I honestly forgot it until a video on twitter triggered the memory of what I did as a kid, and it depressed the crap out of me.
I reasoned that that's life and that's particularly childhood. Although I pride myself on my intellect, in that instance I was not smart enough to know what I did was going to result in such a tragedy...
I'm not fucking perfect. But I'm not a monster. I've met monsters in my childhood. I've met straight horrible terrible human beings in my life and HELL NO I am not one of them. I'm a HERO. I'M STATIC SHOCK.
Anyway.. sorry for going ballistic and just bringing on such depressing subject matter... that's my cross to bare.
What AM I doing now? I'm working on the flying scenes today.
I need to list out what's hardest to do and then tackle the hard stuff:
Roto Scoping the flying shots...
Joker and Batman scene... Why is this scene hard? Probably my fault, I didn't plan it well and gonna have to create it in editing.
Static and Shannon scene after.... this one too not planned well but it will be the most hilarious scene in the film and most embarrassing for me.... But I think I've well enough crossed that boundary and have embarrassed my ass enough anyway...
What else.... just I don't even know. I've literally gone blank on what the f I'm doing with the project right now....
It SHOULD work, yeah I figured it out.... there's a scene where static loses his first costume and has to get a new one. I still haven't figured out how he loses it, or what makes him get injured so badly....
But stay tuned.... will have to iron all this crap out and make it smooth and function in the final big ass rough cut I'll be having cooked up by the end of the month...
Wednesday, April 18, 2018
Progress
Made a little bit...
wow, just like that huh, people actually concerned with airline safety now... if they were serious about it, tons and I mean TONS of improvements and safety measures could be put in action to prevent this explosions, stuck landing gear, lost luggage, shifting cargo, whatever...
It's sad how the airlines work, the equipment they give us ramp guys, it's sad. They treat them like garbage, so I wouldn't be surprised if one of the ramp guys said OK and took a hammer to one of the engine blades and said good luck...
I mean even me, some nobody working ramp, if I wanted to, I could have screwed up a flight. I know how to do it...
But I don't know. The planes they use are terrible imo. Just old, tired planes, and they refuse to get better ones so of course they fail...
Like you think I don't know what I'm talking about, but no, I heard what the other ramp guys were saying about Delta using old 757s and 737s, MD 90s from the f'n 80s and are obsolete simply because it'd cost too much to buy more modern airbuses.
They're making planes now with automatic emergency balance systems in place to automatically level out the plane using gps and all kinds of tech, and yet some airlines, particularly southwest don't want to upgrade to the better stuff, so I'm not shocked their planes are blowing up mid flight and killing passengers. Don't fly them... Jet Blue is where it's at....
I'd die if I ever got in at Jet Blue... jesus christ.
Well I'm saddened by this kind of thing because I've seen how these goddamn airlines operate, how much they rush and don't take time to properly do shit, just incompetent money hungry stupid people running things...
People saying yeah they landed the plane, it wasn't all bad. Yeah, but nobody should die because of a most likely preventable mechanical failure. It's sad how I always saw planes that SHOULD have been inspected come in with dents damage, bird strikes, but nope, fill it up and fly... money moneY MONEY.. I'm not joking, the shit I've seen, horror f'n show.
Going to get back to work soon enough... starting to come around, finally nailed the scene where static and frieda talk and stuff. I wanted to kinda actually have some kind of frieda scene, and despite not clearly knowing how to do it, I got it to work decently... not great.
Lot of Fx work, but i'll worry about that in time, right now, got to kinda figure out what scenes go where since I never really did that, just started editing and editing... So the beginning of the film makes sense... how he gets his powers makes sense, him waking up and testing out his powers makes sense, going to talk to frieda makes sense, and the bits where he's in the middle kinda doing his first fights etc make sense.... but then ugh, just a lot of weird disjointed stuff needs to be organized... But I'm glad I've made a little progress instead of just f'n not advancing in the slightest.
Exciting to see it grow and start to turn into something...
wow, just like that huh, people actually concerned with airline safety now... if they were serious about it, tons and I mean TONS of improvements and safety measures could be put in action to prevent this explosions, stuck landing gear, lost luggage, shifting cargo, whatever...
It's sad how the airlines work, the equipment they give us ramp guys, it's sad. They treat them like garbage, so I wouldn't be surprised if one of the ramp guys said OK and took a hammer to one of the engine blades and said good luck...
I mean even me, some nobody working ramp, if I wanted to, I could have screwed up a flight. I know how to do it...
But I don't know. The planes they use are terrible imo. Just old, tired planes, and they refuse to get better ones so of course they fail...
Like you think I don't know what I'm talking about, but no, I heard what the other ramp guys were saying about Delta using old 757s and 737s, MD 90s from the f'n 80s and are obsolete simply because it'd cost too much to buy more modern airbuses.
They're making planes now with automatic emergency balance systems in place to automatically level out the plane using gps and all kinds of tech, and yet some airlines, particularly southwest don't want to upgrade to the better stuff, so I'm not shocked their planes are blowing up mid flight and killing passengers. Don't fly them... Jet Blue is where it's at....
I'd die if I ever got in at Jet Blue... jesus christ.
Well I'm saddened by this kind of thing because I've seen how these goddamn airlines operate, how much they rush and don't take time to properly do shit, just incompetent money hungry stupid people running things...
People saying yeah they landed the plane, it wasn't all bad. Yeah, but nobody should die because of a most likely preventable mechanical failure. It's sad how I always saw planes that SHOULD have been inspected come in with dents damage, bird strikes, but nope, fill it up and fly... money moneY MONEY.. I'm not joking, the shit I've seen, horror f'n show.
Going to get back to work soon enough... starting to come around, finally nailed the scene where static and frieda talk and stuff. I wanted to kinda actually have some kind of frieda scene, and despite not clearly knowing how to do it, I got it to work decently... not great.
Lot of Fx work, but i'll worry about that in time, right now, got to kinda figure out what scenes go where since I never really did that, just started editing and editing... So the beginning of the film makes sense... how he gets his powers makes sense, him waking up and testing out his powers makes sense, going to talk to frieda makes sense, and the bits where he's in the middle kinda doing his first fights etc make sense.... but then ugh, just a lot of weird disjointed stuff needs to be organized... But I'm glad I've made a little progress instead of just f'n not advancing in the slightest.
Exciting to see it grow and start to turn into something...
Tuesday, April 17, 2018
No colored at star bucks
Just finished rendering a few scenes for Static, came out pretty damn good I'd say...
Busted a nut too, kinda still not the goddamn bees knees it used to be but it feeds my addiction I guess so that's that...
So yeah, black and in the wrong part of town apparently...
This is something that I kinda already made clear about the black experience, you simply don't fit in in this f'n world. Everyone f'n hates your guts. Even if you're one of the Urkel ones, none of that matters.
It's like, damn, hell of a thing to wake up to, you can't drive around anywhere, can't go on the subway, and forget work, you're gonna get race hate everywhere you go, bro.
Of course they saw a few black dudes hanging out and called the cops, of course... it's like, there ya go, that's all it took. Two dark people, standing around, call the cops...
I've been given crap from off the bat without people getting to know me, just cuz I'm a blickity black.
Is it just the blackity blackness or is it because black people are roudy dumbass disruptive jackasses half the time and society is countering that behavior.
I'll put it out there... sometimes black people need to acknowledge this shit is on them sometimes. If I see a group of black high school jack shits walking towards, me I tense up. I expect the worst and be ready to fight...
So yeah it's black people's own fault to some extent, but I know in reality even if there was a like super smart ivy league black people in a restaurant or whatever discussing the theory of relativity, they'd be given shit... it doesn't matter...
It goes so much deeper than I can even begin to fully cover here, what society's issue is with black people... so deep...
But this blows me away... I mean, I've been treated ass at times as the black guy around, but typically no one goes down the road of calling cops and acting just damn retarded about it. This is sad... this could have ended up with those two fellas dead, extreme waste of police men's time... sad shit. And we're so advanced and better a society today you'd think something like this just would have been resolved quick and silently... just a wake up call. This world is just lying to blacks, pure lies... You still don't belong.
B
Busted a nut too, kinda still not the goddamn bees knees it used to be but it feeds my addiction I guess so that's that...
So yeah, black and in the wrong part of town apparently...
This is something that I kinda already made clear about the black experience, you simply don't fit in in this f'n world. Everyone f'n hates your guts. Even if you're one of the Urkel ones, none of that matters.
It's like, damn, hell of a thing to wake up to, you can't drive around anywhere, can't go on the subway, and forget work, you're gonna get race hate everywhere you go, bro.
Of course they saw a few black dudes hanging out and called the cops, of course... it's like, there ya go, that's all it took. Two dark people, standing around, call the cops...
I've been given crap from off the bat without people getting to know me, just cuz I'm a blickity black.
Is it just the blackity blackness or is it because black people are roudy dumbass disruptive jackasses half the time and society is countering that behavior.
I'll put it out there... sometimes black people need to acknowledge this shit is on them sometimes. If I see a group of black high school jack shits walking towards, me I tense up. I expect the worst and be ready to fight...
So yeah it's black people's own fault to some extent, but I know in reality even if there was a like super smart ivy league black people in a restaurant or whatever discussing the theory of relativity, they'd be given shit... it doesn't matter...
It goes so much deeper than I can even begin to fully cover here, what society's issue is with black people... so deep...
But this blows me away... I mean, I've been treated ass at times as the black guy around, but typically no one goes down the road of calling cops and acting just damn retarded about it. This is sad... this could have ended up with those two fellas dead, extreme waste of police men's time... sad shit. And we're so advanced and better a society today you'd think something like this just would have been resolved quick and silently... just a wake up call. This world is just lying to blacks, pure lies... You still don't belong.
B
Sunday, April 15, 2018
random thawtz
Bashing my head into the floor must of done some brain damage. You know what was funny when I lost consciousness. I felt it when my personality switched... I could only vaguely remember what I was prior to re-awakening and then, my mind like literally rebooted itself so I felt like it erased whatever was going on in my head before slamming into the floor and then on the floor it was like I went back in time and was in 6th grade. I kept feeling like I had to rush to the tv to watch tiny toons as if I was back in the 90s, all those memories of that time knocking around came back. I felt like OMG I have to rush to the tv to catch family matters... it was like wtf... I regressed...
I could feel it. Then I quickly realized I was not in the 90s and had lost consciousness. If I didn't quickly pick up on that, I'd have probably thought I was still that person I was decades ago, but I intellectually calculated my situation and although my old personality before the brain trauma had been erased, I was just good and smart about figuring out what I went through...
Bizarre shit damnit... but yeah, a good hard blow like that will erase memories and screw you up...
Wanted to talk about where I'm at with the film... Well getting my head jacked up hasn't helped with my attempts to get it going... Just been planning it more or less, gathering bits of footage...
Eh, starting to hate myself so much for wanting it to be this damn big. It typically takes me 3 days to do a music video. Gathering footage, organizing it, syncing it to the music, then polishing it nicely on the last day. This is a f'n 5 year project... no doubt it'll be cool but jesus could have done something smarter with my time I think.
I mean I'm just f'd up right now. Yunno all I'm thinking about is my failures and my lack of motivation and feeling so damn hopeless.
Hope something about it always quite elusive for me... but I don't want to feel this way. I freakin have done some cool things in the last few years by wanting to do it, hoping, etc.
I dare say I'm crazy enough to keep hoping for good things in life despite having no reason to.... hope is sometimes all a person has left...
I could feel it. Then I quickly realized I was not in the 90s and had lost consciousness. If I didn't quickly pick up on that, I'd have probably thought I was still that person I was decades ago, but I intellectually calculated my situation and although my old personality before the brain trauma had been erased, I was just good and smart about figuring out what I went through...
Bizarre shit damnit... but yeah, a good hard blow like that will erase memories and screw you up...
Wanted to talk about where I'm at with the film... Well getting my head jacked up hasn't helped with my attempts to get it going... Just been planning it more or less, gathering bits of footage...
Eh, starting to hate myself so much for wanting it to be this damn big. It typically takes me 3 days to do a music video. Gathering footage, organizing it, syncing it to the music, then polishing it nicely on the last day. This is a f'n 5 year project... no doubt it'll be cool but jesus could have done something smarter with my time I think.
I mean I'm just f'd up right now. Yunno all I'm thinking about is my failures and my lack of motivation and feeling so damn hopeless.
Hope something about it always quite elusive for me... but I don't want to feel this way. I freakin have done some cool things in the last few years by wanting to do it, hoping, etc.
I dare say I'm crazy enough to keep hoping for good things in life despite having no reason to.... hope is sometimes all a person has left...
Saturday, April 14, 2018
passed out
debating whether to post about it, it was interesting so I guess it's worth talking about.
It was just so fast. One minute lost in thought, next minute on the floor my face itching. I fell completely unconcious and slammed my head into the floor and didn't feel it when it happened.
So that's how pain works, if your brain shuts it off, it's not there...
Goddamn, could have been farrr worse if I slammed into the uncarpeted part of the floor that's for sure...
Well guess I have a definitive answer on what exactly death is like. When I "died" I was still kinda awake just not in my body. I was dreaming of my comic character Ronda and then suddenly woke up out of the dream and fully realized what happened.
Death I guess is just like slipping into another dimension... then I got sucked back into this one as my body woke up and had oxygen returning to my brain etc.
Probably should bust a nut so I can get my blood flowing faster or something. I can see why this happened since I kinda have been inactive and just sitting all day, so my blood flow is off...
But yeah lit a fire under my ass. I might be dead before I finish my damn movie...
Proof...
It was just so fast. One minute lost in thought, next minute on the floor my face itching. I fell completely unconcious and slammed my head into the floor and didn't feel it when it happened.
So that's how pain works, if your brain shuts it off, it's not there...
Goddamn, could have been farrr worse if I slammed into the uncarpeted part of the floor that's for sure...
Well guess I have a definitive answer on what exactly death is like. When I "died" I was still kinda awake just not in my body. I was dreaming of my comic character Ronda and then suddenly woke up out of the dream and fully realized what happened.
Death I guess is just like slipping into another dimension... then I got sucked back into this one as my body woke up and had oxygen returning to my brain etc.
Probably should bust a nut so I can get my blood flowing faster or something. I can see why this happened since I kinda have been inactive and just sitting all day, so my blood flow is off...
But yeah lit a fire under my ass. I might be dead before I finish my damn movie...
Proof...
Friday, April 13, 2018
Work Schedule
Going to attempt to plan my next few weeks of work on the project.
Been watching all the renders of scenes I've done... eh, they're ok, nothing too amazing... But yeah, it's gonna work if it all gets done and kinda fits properly once completed. Lots of work left to be done although the heavy duty editing was the final battle. Getting that out of the way really opened up my mind to focusing on the middle portions much more clearly.
I mean it's been tough. I worked extremely hard on the delorean fly by scene yesterday and that was murder. Rendered like a long clip of tough fx work that demanded hours of pain staking masking and guesss what, only used maybe 4 seconds of the clip in the final movie. Such a sad waste film making can be at times.
Yunno how I'm feeling right now, freakin drained... all the effort I put into making that scene rock and it does, it's awesome, but now I'm like my brain is fried right now... can't think of what I was going to edit next and work on etc... brain is screwed up...
Not to mention the negative attitude I got about the project. All this thoughts of Who Cares about it...
Yeah well, I agree. Nobody should care. I'm the only one who does....
Interesting to see how the web is kinda changing now.... I notice the whole e-celeb thing is kinda fading away as it will.... I've been on the internet for a long time. I've seen EVERYTHING... It's never truly fortuitous to seek fame online, and those that do, well, what goes up must come down...
But yeah, like, I'm kinda down myself. I mean my enthusiasm is only for that day when it's over and it's finished and I can sit and watch my movie... that's all that's propelling me at all. I don't want to scrounge for bits of footage, work on this work on that... keep plugging away at this damn thing...
It's draining... But I want to watch it when it's all done, that's all I hope for right now... seeing it put together, all my story boarding and sequences, edits, dialogue, all some how making sense instead of being in this disjointed mess...
I think about what will happen after all the dust settles and I'm free and can be myself again and not worry about this movie... what next? I don't f'n know. I want to kinda find myself truth be told. I've always been a kid. I have no clue what being a man is, and especially a black man. It's all happy fun times as a kid, but then as a grown up it's insta fear insta stigmatization insta condemnation. And it's sad, it's outright childish idiotic stupid crap to look at the black dude in the room as the boogey man, but that's the hand you get dealt and have to struggle with on the daily. I mean, its not something I give a crap about but I have no choice, always got to be thinking about how I'm being perceived in public.
Anyway, I guess it's my lack of jacking off that's leading to this state. I'm still trying to just quit my habit, but I suppose it's goddamn impossible...
I just like, I hate the cycle. I mean I'd blow a load every chance I could get if it didn't have this low withdrawl after effect to it. Sucks to bust a nut and then it's like, hell yeah, then you lose the feeling and return to reality.... I'd rather just be in reality yunno... But I can't do that either... Gotta kinda just bust it, then live in la la land until the next time I can get the high again.... such stupid shit.
I will do footage scrounging today....
Relax and play battlefront all day tomorrow
Then I want to kick my ass in gear and truly knock out the hard editing I need to get the middle montage flying crap done and the shadowman scene done...
Once that's all locked up, break for a day, then will get back to hard core editing the frieda static scenes which will fx heavy so yeah gonna be a load of ass there.
So yeah, that's the game plan...
Been watching all the renders of scenes I've done... eh, they're ok, nothing too amazing... But yeah, it's gonna work if it all gets done and kinda fits properly once completed. Lots of work left to be done although the heavy duty editing was the final battle. Getting that out of the way really opened up my mind to focusing on the middle portions much more clearly.
I mean it's been tough. I worked extremely hard on the delorean fly by scene yesterday and that was murder. Rendered like a long clip of tough fx work that demanded hours of pain staking masking and guesss what, only used maybe 4 seconds of the clip in the final movie. Such a sad waste film making can be at times.
Yunno how I'm feeling right now, freakin drained... all the effort I put into making that scene rock and it does, it's awesome, but now I'm like my brain is fried right now... can't think of what I was going to edit next and work on etc... brain is screwed up...
Not to mention the negative attitude I got about the project. All this thoughts of Who Cares about it...
Yeah well, I agree. Nobody should care. I'm the only one who does....
Interesting to see how the web is kinda changing now.... I notice the whole e-celeb thing is kinda fading away as it will.... I've been on the internet for a long time. I've seen EVERYTHING... It's never truly fortuitous to seek fame online, and those that do, well, what goes up must come down...
But yeah, like, I'm kinda down myself. I mean my enthusiasm is only for that day when it's over and it's finished and I can sit and watch my movie... that's all that's propelling me at all. I don't want to scrounge for bits of footage, work on this work on that... keep plugging away at this damn thing...
It's draining... But I want to watch it when it's all done, that's all I hope for right now... seeing it put together, all my story boarding and sequences, edits, dialogue, all some how making sense instead of being in this disjointed mess...
I think about what will happen after all the dust settles and I'm free and can be myself again and not worry about this movie... what next? I don't f'n know. I want to kinda find myself truth be told. I've always been a kid. I have no clue what being a man is, and especially a black man. It's all happy fun times as a kid, but then as a grown up it's insta fear insta stigmatization insta condemnation. And it's sad, it's outright childish idiotic stupid crap to look at the black dude in the room as the boogey man, but that's the hand you get dealt and have to struggle with on the daily. I mean, its not something I give a crap about but I have no choice, always got to be thinking about how I'm being perceived in public.
Anyway, I guess it's my lack of jacking off that's leading to this state. I'm still trying to just quit my habit, but I suppose it's goddamn impossible...
I just like, I hate the cycle. I mean I'd blow a load every chance I could get if it didn't have this low withdrawl after effect to it. Sucks to bust a nut and then it's like, hell yeah, then you lose the feeling and return to reality.... I'd rather just be in reality yunno... But I can't do that either... Gotta kinda just bust it, then live in la la land until the next time I can get the high again.... such stupid shit.
I will do footage scrounging today....
Relax and play battlefront all day tomorrow
Then I want to kick my ass in gear and truly knock out the hard editing I need to get the middle montage flying crap done and the shadowman scene done...
Once that's all locked up, break for a day, then will get back to hard core editing the frieda static scenes which will fx heavy so yeah gonna be a load of ass there.
So yeah, that's the game plan...
Thursday, April 12, 2018
Super Fly
Working on the flying shot etc at the moment...
hundreds of renders, tough tough shot...
but it'll probably be the funniest gag in the movie....
what else, not much to report.. kinda been having a rough go at this stuff... I plan to have the movie edited completely in rough form by the end of the month, then spend all next month finalizing fx, etc. plus Adr.....
As for current events... I'm not understanding any of it. Same old crap. Everyone's kinda been calling a lot of things the end of the current presidency, then it didn't matter cuz people don't care, as long as the person in charge looks like me, that's all that matters, period.... so yeah, what kind of possible thing could affect this guy, nothing.... it's all been a waste of time and there's just nothing anyone can do. It's hilarious as usual, laughable, blatant lies, again and again. It's like, wow, never thought I'd see the day war strategy would be openly just blurted out of the pres' mouth on the internet, but I'm seeing it with my own eyes... Little hint, when you go telling the other side you're going to attack them, kinda undermines the attack itself. They'll likely be ready for it now, but ugh that's what people voted for. Yeah kinda makes you see what happens when the wrong guy is indeed elected....
Well, back to the grind stone. Gonna finish these shots, and then work on the complete edit of static's first flight, then fix up the middle of the movie, work on that some more, till it's done, then we'll finally hopefully get a big ass rough cut done....
hundreds of renders, tough tough shot...
but it'll probably be the funniest gag in the movie....
what else, not much to report.. kinda been having a rough go at this stuff... I plan to have the movie edited completely in rough form by the end of the month, then spend all next month finalizing fx, etc. plus Adr.....
As for current events... I'm not understanding any of it. Same old crap. Everyone's kinda been calling a lot of things the end of the current presidency, then it didn't matter cuz people don't care, as long as the person in charge looks like me, that's all that matters, period.... so yeah, what kind of possible thing could affect this guy, nothing.... it's all been a waste of time and there's just nothing anyone can do. It's hilarious as usual, laughable, blatant lies, again and again. It's like, wow, never thought I'd see the day war strategy would be openly just blurted out of the pres' mouth on the internet, but I'm seeing it with my own eyes... Little hint, when you go telling the other side you're going to attack them, kinda undermines the attack itself. They'll likely be ready for it now, but ugh that's what people voted for. Yeah kinda makes you see what happens when the wrong guy is indeed elected....
Well, back to the grind stone. Gonna finish these shots, and then work on the complete edit of static's first flight, then fix up the middle of the movie, work on that some more, till it's done, then we'll finally hopefully get a big ass rough cut done....
Tuesday, April 10, 2018
Method and approach
I don't know what it is, I just don't want to really get going with the project and I feel all uninterested at this point. But I guess it'll pass...
Been searching for and gathering footage all day. Damn depressing personally to see footage I shot on my phone from years ago while working at Delta probably one of the worst experiences I've ever endured.
I mean it was just painful, the way they are such assholes to you and you didn't even bother them or start anything, just up and treat you like complete garbage off the bat. It was eye opening and made me feel bad because I grew to hate the people who tried to stick it to me. I don't want to be that way or dedicate my life or time to feeling hate and animosity towards others but they literally wanted that, just kept poking away at my nerves until I snapped and let the anger fly. What to think about that kind of person... it is what it is.... I don't know anything about how to handle that stuff. Never straight delt with life and people judging you without giving you a chance, not to that degree... but yeah, there's people who are insane, I mean of course... I shouldn't be surprised...
Horrible memory of a time I mean that's 8 f'n years ago so it's meaningless now, but yeah I have the proof of my time in that world... going back and watching video of it, just dredged up a lot of ill feelings and they've been bothering me all damn day. I never realized how much of that stuff I buried deep in the back of my mind...
But I found quite a bit of my old files and have salvaged as much as I can. I mean, some stuff is gone for good, but what I got is nice to get back, that's for sure...
I just hate searching through my old files, it's like going back in time. You HAVE TO progress in life, not just dwell on the past, it's not good, so wrong. I go back into folders, see the same old oiled up naked bitches porno, same old videos, etc from years ago and it just puts me back into that time, all the angst I felt during it.... it's awkward and my own fault for being such a pack rat. I do indeed need to reinvent myself, just change, grow, stop f'n living in the past... there's nothing there for me...
Gotta change... gotta do different shit, yall... But yeah once my movie's finished, I'll get onto other projects etc.... and it will... we're in that finishing zone with these things. Everything from here forward is just plug it in, organize it, that's all that's left... I'm gonna free myself of this soon enough.
Been searching for and gathering footage all day. Damn depressing personally to see footage I shot on my phone from years ago while working at Delta probably one of the worst experiences I've ever endured.
I mean it was just painful, the way they are such assholes to you and you didn't even bother them or start anything, just up and treat you like complete garbage off the bat. It was eye opening and made me feel bad because I grew to hate the people who tried to stick it to me. I don't want to be that way or dedicate my life or time to feeling hate and animosity towards others but they literally wanted that, just kept poking away at my nerves until I snapped and let the anger fly. What to think about that kind of person... it is what it is.... I don't know anything about how to handle that stuff. Never straight delt with life and people judging you without giving you a chance, not to that degree... but yeah, there's people who are insane, I mean of course... I shouldn't be surprised...
Horrible memory of a time I mean that's 8 f'n years ago so it's meaningless now, but yeah I have the proof of my time in that world... going back and watching video of it, just dredged up a lot of ill feelings and they've been bothering me all damn day. I never realized how much of that stuff I buried deep in the back of my mind...
But I found quite a bit of my old files and have salvaged as much as I can. I mean, some stuff is gone for good, but what I got is nice to get back, that's for sure...
I just hate searching through my old files, it's like going back in time. You HAVE TO progress in life, not just dwell on the past, it's not good, so wrong. I go back into folders, see the same old oiled up naked bitches porno, same old videos, etc from years ago and it just puts me back into that time, all the angst I felt during it.... it's awkward and my own fault for being such a pack rat. I do indeed need to reinvent myself, just change, grow, stop f'n living in the past... there's nothing there for me...
Gotta change... gotta do different shit, yall... But yeah once my movie's finished, I'll get onto other projects etc.... and it will... we're in that finishing zone with these things. Everything from here forward is just plug it in, organize it, that's all that's left... I'm gonna free myself of this soon enough.
Monday, April 9, 2018
Thawtz on the change the channel movement
(Well I myself already changed the channel, forgot about that guy...)Wow, don't know what to really think. I'm 32, like I've seen a lot of stuff on the internet since I began using it since I was freakin 14.... I mean it goes without saying, don't get involved with the damn internet like it's your life... there's things like jobs, school, living that kinda take precedence? I mean, I find the joke stuff we do online, fan films, all of it fun but I've honest to God never cared enough to get to know or follow any of the people I watched over the years... like, yeah I'll have to reference zd/tech tv, tons of people came and went on that network that I found interesting, but I didn't follow their blogs or vlogs or now twitter, didn't give that much of a crap about them...
I feel for the people that got kinda abused by the people in charge of that community of video reviewers, but you should have seen that shit coming, it's not like those guys were anything more than weirdo internet nobodies that never shut the hell up.
I can go to hundreds of youtube channels that are dead right now... porn stars that either died or just quit... that's the nature of the beast, here today, gone tomorrow, don't get personal with it....
I mean, I don't like this whole new world I ended up in where we have people making nonsense videos every day instead of doing something that matters or not seeking attention. It's just we all kinda took the jackass bits from johnny knoxville and ran with that and just ruined its uniqueness since every douche bag with a phone cam can easily make their own version now? It's becoming too retarded. I don't have a problem with retarded, but this is super saiyan retarded how much the net has become a joke....
Just sayin, internet is becoming too serious man, used to be a thing on the side of life, not the goddamn life itself...
I feel for the people that got kinda abused by the people in charge of that community of video reviewers, but you should have seen that shit coming, it's not like those guys were anything more than weirdo internet nobodies that never shut the hell up.
I can go to hundreds of youtube channels that are dead right now... porn stars that either died or just quit... that's the nature of the beast, here today, gone tomorrow, don't get personal with it....
I mean, I don't like this whole new world I ended up in where we have people making nonsense videos every day instead of doing something that matters or not seeking attention. It's just we all kinda took the jackass bits from johnny knoxville and ran with that and just ruined its uniqueness since every douche bag with a phone cam can easily make their own version now? It's becoming too retarded. I don't have a problem with retarded, but this is super saiyan retarded how much the net has become a joke....
Just sayin, internet is becoming too serious man, used to be a thing on the side of life, not the goddamn life itself...
Sunday, April 8, 2018
Musings on teh solo thing that just dropped
Meh...
It was a troubled production and looks to be a troubled too many cooks in the kitchen movie at the end of the day. Of course it will make a bazillion dollars and that's all disney cares about so I can't put a dent in it or anyone involved with it.
My honest opinion of it. Donald Glover is trying so hard to be something he isn't and that's a badass... so that's all we're gonna get from him, his dorky ass trying to be cool. I knew his voice wouldn't come close to Billy Dee's but Jesus he's not even trying.
Yunno hyperbole is the name of the game on the internet. Everything's the end of the known universe.... I thought people were over blowing Alden's performance as Han. He's god awful. Miscast 100% Anthony Ingruber will get the last laugh at the end of the day.
Well, the movie looks very non-star wars which is surprising. Where's the hokey pokey puppets and weirdo star wars elements? It looks like battle star galactica or star trek. Where's the star warsy aspects?
I don't blame Ron Howard in the least. He's my uncle in a lot of ways. I mean I not only grew up watching him, but his movies raised me and created my love for film and what it can do. I have no doubt his passion will ooze through the film and that part of it will work and feel right.
What won't is that he didn't have his hands in the pot from the beginning and never wanted these actors, never wanted the design to it, cinematography etc. He didn't get to pick any of that so he's stuck running behind someone else's vision and that's just not a good way to fly... just isn't...
Will not pay to see it, my final decision is made. I don't know what I'll end up doing, don't really want to bootleg it either, but I have some bits of cash saved up so I'll see something else and hop in on it take a peak then no doubt it'll leave my brain without making an impact. Yunno, proabably going to do decent but not gangbusters.
If I made this movie, it'd be so awkward, so weird, so messed up awesome star wars, you'd be so rocked off your socks, oh well, too bad...
It was a troubled production and looks to be a troubled too many cooks in the kitchen movie at the end of the day. Of course it will make a bazillion dollars and that's all disney cares about so I can't put a dent in it or anyone involved with it.
My honest opinion of it. Donald Glover is trying so hard to be something he isn't and that's a badass... so that's all we're gonna get from him, his dorky ass trying to be cool. I knew his voice wouldn't come close to Billy Dee's but Jesus he's not even trying.
Yunno hyperbole is the name of the game on the internet. Everything's the end of the known universe.... I thought people were over blowing Alden's performance as Han. He's god awful. Miscast 100% Anthony Ingruber will get the last laugh at the end of the day.
Well, the movie looks very non-star wars which is surprising. Where's the hokey pokey puppets and weirdo star wars elements? It looks like battle star galactica or star trek. Where's the star warsy aspects?
I don't blame Ron Howard in the least. He's my uncle in a lot of ways. I mean I not only grew up watching him, but his movies raised me and created my love for film and what it can do. I have no doubt his passion will ooze through the film and that part of it will work and feel right.
What won't is that he didn't have his hands in the pot from the beginning and never wanted these actors, never wanted the design to it, cinematography etc. He didn't get to pick any of that so he's stuck running behind someone else's vision and that's just not a good way to fly... just isn't...
Will not pay to see it, my final decision is made. I don't know what I'll end up doing, don't really want to bootleg it either, but I have some bits of cash saved up so I'll see something else and hop in on it take a peak then no doubt it'll leave my brain without making an impact. Yunno, proabably going to do decent but not gangbusters.
If I made this movie, it'd be so awkward, so weird, so messed up awesome star wars, you'd be so rocked off your socks, oh well, too bad...
Saturday, April 7, 2018
lonely road
fixing stuff in the film, trying to make it work despite my lack of skill and foresight, but yeah it's getting to actually kinda work and I discovered some neat tricks in after fx to punch up shots that were bland, so hey, that's something..
future's looking somewhat brighter for this thing. Gotta take a break from it. I find if I stress my brain too hard doing the editing, it kinda starts to max out and lose strength so I'm gonna not over do it, just relax and lazy my way through it, eh, what's wrong with that?
So yeah, it's getting places, exciting... that's what I hope to achieve every day, keep pushing it forward more to completion.
It's just, ugh, it's getting very complicated because I'm trying to do advanced level editing techniques with it at times and do fancy crap I don't technically need but since I'm me, I like pushing the limits of my abilities and then it becomes... well any editor will say don't make it a jungle on the time line, one little thing goes wrong and it's over, whole thing loses sync and you have to repair it somehow.
So that's my issue. I want it to have this different music here, more dramatic stuff here, then fade to a montage scene I want to work on next... but it's not going my way...
Bull crap crappity crap. Well I'll get the montage done today some point. I know exactly what I want for that scene. It's pretty much the first scene I kinda had thought of before going forward and crafting all the others.
The shannon scene will kinda edit itself since it's not too complex, should be fun to fix up that one.
Not looking forward to the joker batman scene, that's gonna be tough and the whole part where I have to talk to batman, it's very tough to get that right.
But luckily I have time and don't necessarily need to rush it so yeah, we're gonna be alright and should smoothly meet the deadline of Solo's release....
future's looking somewhat brighter for this thing. Gotta take a break from it. I find if I stress my brain too hard doing the editing, it kinda starts to max out and lose strength so I'm gonna not over do it, just relax and lazy my way through it, eh, what's wrong with that?
So yeah, it's getting places, exciting... that's what I hope to achieve every day, keep pushing it forward more to completion.
It's just, ugh, it's getting very complicated because I'm trying to do advanced level editing techniques with it at times and do fancy crap I don't technically need but since I'm me, I like pushing the limits of my abilities and then it becomes... well any editor will say don't make it a jungle on the time line, one little thing goes wrong and it's over, whole thing loses sync and you have to repair it somehow.
So that's my issue. I want it to have this different music here, more dramatic stuff here, then fade to a montage scene I want to work on next... but it's not going my way...
Bull crap crappity crap. Well I'll get the montage done today some point. I know exactly what I want for that scene. It's pretty much the first scene I kinda had thought of before going forward and crafting all the others.
The shannon scene will kinda edit itself since it's not too complex, should be fun to fix up that one.
Not looking forward to the joker batman scene, that's gonna be tough and the whole part where I have to talk to batman, it's very tough to get that right.
But luckily I have time and don't necessarily need to rush it so yeah, we're gonna be alright and should smoothly meet the deadline of Solo's release....
Thursday, April 5, 2018
Glad I did the end first
working on the middle of the movie... holy shit is it tough.
Want to just say screw it... makes ya wonder how people do this for a living...
I couldn't do this full time, it's like torture.
Can't find footage you thought you shot... nothing syncs up, the music is tough to find that fits the scenes, everything's poorly shot, no continuity to anything. Yes, lesson learned, actually kinda shoot to a script, actually write a script, that might have been a good idea.
I didn't because I know what I want to do, but throughout the shoot I got confused about what happens when and figured whatever. So yeah, I mean I started this project 5 years ago. Of course stuff I shot back then doesn't fit with more recent stuff.
I don't know if there's truly a good solid flick inside of what I shot... it's gonna be fun and interesting that's all I can promise.
Never did this shit before so it's tough to get it down.
the scenes I did yesterday I just wanted to be ok, nothing fancy smancy or great, but due to blind luck I some how turned them into almost professionally done hollywood level stuff. So that was surprising.
My goal though isn't to make this thing like all glitzy and nice and hollywood, it's gonna be a fan film low budget piece of clunky junk that's fun and sparks some interest in a hollywood version of static some day.
Some dude on facebook as I mentioned is making a pro level static film so I'm not the only one hoping it gets done some day. I know been crying about lack of static forever. Which is why I'm doing this. It's my hope that they do make one and it's happening, us black guys in the world are kinda just making it ourselves, might as well, eh....
Static is my homie, man. I mean not only because he's black and quick witted like spidey. That's superficial. The thing that I liked about him was that he's so damn badass and fights for the people because he's one of them. You don't see topics of racism, black gang war, life in the projects, stuff I've seen all my life in standard comics... so yeah, finally seeing reality that I know in comic form was huge for me. I mean it's just I liked that static would care about making life better in ghettos and go after criminals in the places superman wouldn't show up... he's probably the most grounded down to earth hero of all and that's why people like him. He's not fighting aliens and shit, he's fighting some asshole causing trouble in his community, something spidey would be too busy to do... so that's why he's interesting, he tackles faaaar more than they do and carries a larger burden on his shoulders. Hell often times as the series went on, he'd actually be fighting people he knew at school, that's how small and personal his battles were. Later in the series though he ended up just as epic scoped as supes and batman which kinda defeated the purpose of the character, a shame...
Well there you have it my garbled nonsense of the night...
Want to just say screw it... makes ya wonder how people do this for a living...
I couldn't do this full time, it's like torture.
Can't find footage you thought you shot... nothing syncs up, the music is tough to find that fits the scenes, everything's poorly shot, no continuity to anything. Yes, lesson learned, actually kinda shoot to a script, actually write a script, that might have been a good idea.
I didn't because I know what I want to do, but throughout the shoot I got confused about what happens when and figured whatever. So yeah, I mean I started this project 5 years ago. Of course stuff I shot back then doesn't fit with more recent stuff.
I don't know if there's truly a good solid flick inside of what I shot... it's gonna be fun and interesting that's all I can promise.
Never did this shit before so it's tough to get it down.
the scenes I did yesterday I just wanted to be ok, nothing fancy smancy or great, but due to blind luck I some how turned them into almost professionally done hollywood level stuff. So that was surprising.
My goal though isn't to make this thing like all glitzy and nice and hollywood, it's gonna be a fan film low budget piece of clunky junk that's fun and sparks some interest in a hollywood version of static some day.
Some dude on facebook as I mentioned is making a pro level static film so I'm not the only one hoping it gets done some day. I know been crying about lack of static forever. Which is why I'm doing this. It's my hope that they do make one and it's happening, us black guys in the world are kinda just making it ourselves, might as well, eh....
Static is my homie, man. I mean not only because he's black and quick witted like spidey. That's superficial. The thing that I liked about him was that he's so damn badass and fights for the people because he's one of them. You don't see topics of racism, black gang war, life in the projects, stuff I've seen all my life in standard comics... so yeah, finally seeing reality that I know in comic form was huge for me. I mean it's just I liked that static would care about making life better in ghettos and go after criminals in the places superman wouldn't show up... he's probably the most grounded down to earth hero of all and that's why people like him. He's not fighting aliens and shit, he's fighting some asshole causing trouble in his community, something spidey would be too busy to do... so that's why he's interesting, he tackles faaaar more than they do and carries a larger burden on his shoulders. Hell often times as the series went on, he'd actually be fighting people he knew at school, that's how small and personal his battles were. Later in the series though he ended up just as epic scoped as supes and batman which kinda defeated the purpose of the character, a shame...
Well there you have it my garbled nonsense of the night...
Tuesday, April 3, 2018
Musical notes
Gathering thoughts on the musical choices I'm making. I'll credit who I use if I can figure out all of them, probably can't post it on youtube for that reason, immediate copy right strike so I'll attempt vimeo and just a personal release here and on facebook if that works... It's a fun light no-profit movie yet I'll get pure cease and desist crap from the web even though practically 99.99% of the stuff on the internet is remixes and stolen copyrighted stuff, but who the hell am I to argue...
I always intended the film to have a hip hop tone to it, but yeah, I was born in the 80s, that kind of music is what I was baptised in, so that's my true love and you'll get a 80s feel to the track as I'm going to use heavy synth stuff in it when I can.
If you haven't guessed, I'm black, so one particular quality of blackness is that you grow up being inundated by very very very good music from all kinds of performers and especially damn great black musicians. I don't know if white people listen to black music much if at all, but besides the mainstream stuff, probably not much. I've been into black music since I was born. Jamaican, African, Soul, Reggae, yep... all the good black music I've ever heard is in my soul. Makes me wonder what the hell people have against blacks, the music is off the damn hook isn't it?
Well I was thinking about it... do I want this to be identifiably black?
Not really, no... besides me starring in it. I want it to feel universal so anyone can watch and enjoy it. I mean if you don't like rap and hip hop and can't understand the art involved with that stuff, it's not going to be pure rap and hip hop at all, it'll be a variety of stuff.
But yeah underneath everything I'm going to kinda have that black spiritual feeling african vibes to it if I can stick it in there here and there... I went to an african kindergarten where we played african drums and an attempt was kinda made to teach us black kids about africa. So I personally have an appreciation for black african music myself having been kinda educated in how to play african drums and such.... so yeah that'll be something I seek out and try to put in there to kinda say, yeah this black kid is modern, listens to goddamn justin bieber but he's got a black soul, that kinda thing, it's gonna be weird, just bear with me...
I always intended the film to have a hip hop tone to it, but yeah, I was born in the 80s, that kind of music is what I was baptised in, so that's my true love and you'll get a 80s feel to the track as I'm going to use heavy synth stuff in it when I can.
If you haven't guessed, I'm black, so one particular quality of blackness is that you grow up being inundated by very very very good music from all kinds of performers and especially damn great black musicians. I don't know if white people listen to black music much if at all, but besides the mainstream stuff, probably not much. I've been into black music since I was born. Jamaican, African, Soul, Reggae, yep... all the good black music I've ever heard is in my soul. Makes me wonder what the hell people have against blacks, the music is off the damn hook isn't it?
Well I was thinking about it... do I want this to be identifiably black?
Not really, no... besides me starring in it. I want it to feel universal so anyone can watch and enjoy it. I mean if you don't like rap and hip hop and can't understand the art involved with that stuff, it's not going to be pure rap and hip hop at all, it'll be a variety of stuff.
But yeah underneath everything I'm going to kinda have that black spiritual feeling african vibes to it if I can stick it in there here and there... I went to an african kindergarten where we played african drums and an attempt was kinda made to teach us black kids about africa. So I personally have an appreciation for black african music myself having been kinda educated in how to play african drums and such.... so yeah that'll be something I seek out and try to put in there to kinda say, yeah this black kid is modern, listens to goddamn justin bieber but he's got a black soul, that kinda thing, it's gonna be weird, just bear with me...
Monday, April 2, 2018
Little progress
Got the fight cut, decided to grapple this thing and force edit as much as possible rather than sit here and jack off or just read the endless circular meaningless politics crap on twitter... This world is becoming farcical isn't it....
Wasn't fun or nothing...
But I'm spent, I want to edit more, tighten it, but I can't, my reserves are tapped out. Don't want to think about it right now....
I didn't shoot enough footage so I've been struggling with what editors must dread, trying to cut around stuff you don't have... Lucas talked about doing this for star wars. He basically shrugged and said if it wasn't shot on the day, just have to fix it in editing, now I understand why he liked green screen so much. It's easier to get shots that you need but never shot at the time etc...
It's not the end of the scene, it's just that during the battle, every shot of static is wide far stuff. I didn't do not one close up to kinda break up things... so it's a lost cause gonna have to craft the scene as is and make it work within the limits.
But whatever, most important thing is to get over this scene and figure out how I'm going to do the static finds his garbage pail lid bit that comes directly after. Oy, gotta organize the files, get a rough cut done of that some point, but eh, we're doing good. I'm making progress and I want to make a little tiny smidge every day regardless of whether I'm into it or not.
You gotta look fear in the face and tell it to go to hell at times, eh....
Wasn't fun or nothing...
But I'm spent, I want to edit more, tighten it, but I can't, my reserves are tapped out. Don't want to think about it right now....
I didn't shoot enough footage so I've been struggling with what editors must dread, trying to cut around stuff you don't have... Lucas talked about doing this for star wars. He basically shrugged and said if it wasn't shot on the day, just have to fix it in editing, now I understand why he liked green screen so much. It's easier to get shots that you need but never shot at the time etc...
It's not the end of the scene, it's just that during the battle, every shot of static is wide far stuff. I didn't do not one close up to kinda break up things... so it's a lost cause gonna have to craft the scene as is and make it work within the limits.
But whatever, most important thing is to get over this scene and figure out how I'm going to do the static finds his garbage pail lid bit that comes directly after. Oy, gotta organize the files, get a rough cut done of that some point, but eh, we're doing good. I'm making progress and I want to make a little tiny smidge every day regardless of whether I'm into it or not.
You gotta look fear in the face and tell it to go to hell at times, eh....
Sunday, April 1, 2018
Going back to work
Did some very slow editing today but I've finally got the rough draft of the scene completed sans the musical choice...
But yunno that's the process it's tough and a gamble, never know whether it's going to work or not.
It flows though. Nailed the flow of the scene, it's logical, it works. It's been rough few days... I wish I could edit the movie with a happier disposition...
I don't want to be an emo person... like, going and blowing a gasket over losing my battlefront clip, it's like not how I want to be. I'm a party dude. I like just feeling good 24/7 if possible... I try my best to accomplish that, always have.
Saying to myself, just work on the static shock film has been tough to do because of my down emo attitude and just the state of the world, but jesus do I want to get out of this funk in my life...
Need to get a life. That's how you do it, just get a damn life, big titties, live!
It's been a tough trial getting to this point of having set up a draft of the scene that works. Hell of a good bit it'll be fun to watch in context I hope...
The other scene is of the first fight with my redcape character... what the f am I going to do about that mess of a scene, don't know yet....
But yeah, finally got around to watching Steel. Just lifted my spirits that movie. If you want to feel better, look beyond the hate and watch it. It's fun, it's just a fun little 90s flick, doesn't try to be godfather, just sets out to be light hearted self aware fun, and it does. I liked it. I actually don't get any of the vitriol towards it. It never ever tries to be more than what it is. It's a decent comic book movie.... would have probably done ok with better fx yet same story if released today. Better than the assfest of spiderman movies we got. And most of all it's a positive role model for black kids, something not really being done much anymore. Wow, used to actually be this attempt to present to the world a good image of black life and black people in cinemas. Now, it's like it's impossible to get that without climbing a mountain, jesus what the hell have we become? Why am I seeing Golden Girls version of Roseanne now? I damn sure hated the show when she was young, hell no not going to watch the elderly version, sorry... I mean it's depressing really. No offense, but not much entertainment value in the life of the elderly, just isn't...
Maybe there is and I don't know about it, but I don't expect there to be much fun to get old and all that jazz. I mean I've seen old dying people at the hospital and it terrified me, not something I'd want to watch for entertainment... but yunno live in the moment, eh...
Like see, I'm making myself feel emo as shit thinking about that stuff I saw in the hospital. Breaks my heart that we all have to die, kills me thinking about it.
But I'll do what I can, what I must do, and make this goddamn movie! I'll die alright, my way!
But yunno that's the process it's tough and a gamble, never know whether it's going to work or not.
It flows though. Nailed the flow of the scene, it's logical, it works. It's been rough few days... I wish I could edit the movie with a happier disposition...
I don't want to be an emo person... like, going and blowing a gasket over losing my battlefront clip, it's like not how I want to be. I'm a party dude. I like just feeling good 24/7 if possible... I try my best to accomplish that, always have.
Saying to myself, just work on the static shock film has been tough to do because of my down emo attitude and just the state of the world, but jesus do I want to get out of this funk in my life...
Need to get a life. That's how you do it, just get a damn life, big titties, live!
It's been a tough trial getting to this point of having set up a draft of the scene that works. Hell of a good bit it'll be fun to watch in context I hope...
The other scene is of the first fight with my redcape character... what the f am I going to do about that mess of a scene, don't know yet....
But yeah, finally got around to watching Steel. Just lifted my spirits that movie. If you want to feel better, look beyond the hate and watch it. It's fun, it's just a fun little 90s flick, doesn't try to be godfather, just sets out to be light hearted self aware fun, and it does. I liked it. I actually don't get any of the vitriol towards it. It never ever tries to be more than what it is. It's a decent comic book movie.... would have probably done ok with better fx yet same story if released today. Better than the assfest of spiderman movies we got. And most of all it's a positive role model for black kids, something not really being done much anymore. Wow, used to actually be this attempt to present to the world a good image of black life and black people in cinemas. Now, it's like it's impossible to get that without climbing a mountain, jesus what the hell have we become? Why am I seeing Golden Girls version of Roseanne now? I damn sure hated the show when she was young, hell no not going to watch the elderly version, sorry... I mean it's depressing really. No offense, but not much entertainment value in the life of the elderly, just isn't...
Maybe there is and I don't know about it, but I don't expect there to be much fun to get old and all that jazz. I mean I've seen old dying people at the hospital and it terrified me, not something I'd want to watch for entertainment... but yunno live in the moment, eh...
Like see, I'm making myself feel emo as shit thinking about that stuff I saw in the hospital. Breaks my heart that we all have to die, kills me thinking about it.
But I'll do what I can, what I must do, and make this goddamn movie! I'll die alright, my way!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
