Method and approach

I don't know what it is, I just don't want to really get going with the project and I feel all uninterested at this point. But I guess it'll pass...

Been searching for and gathering footage all day. Damn depressing personally to see footage I shot on my phone from years ago while working at Delta probably one of the worst experiences I've ever endured.

I mean it was just painful, the way they are such assholes to you and you didn't even bother them or start anything, just up and treat you like complete garbage off the bat. It was eye opening and made me feel bad because I grew to hate the people who tried to stick it to me. I don't want to be that way or dedicate my life or time to feeling hate and animosity towards others but they literally wanted that, just kept poking away at my nerves until I snapped and let the anger fly. What to think about that kind of person... it is what it is.... I don't know anything about how to handle that stuff. Never straight delt with life and people judging you without giving you a chance, not to that degree... but yeah, there's people who are insane, I mean of course... I shouldn't be surprised...

Horrible memory of a time I mean that's 8 f'n years ago so it's meaningless now, but yeah I have the proof of my time in that world... going back and watching video of it, just dredged up a lot of ill feelings and they've been bothering me all damn day. I never realized how much of that stuff I buried deep in the back of my mind...

But I found quite a bit of my old files and have salvaged as much as I can. I mean, some stuff is gone for good, but what I got is nice to get back, that's for sure...

I just hate searching through my old files, it's like going back in time. You HAVE TO progress in life, not just dwell on the past, it's not good, so wrong. I go back into folders, see the same old oiled up naked bitches porno, same old videos, etc from years ago and it just puts me back into that time, all the angst I felt during it.... it's awkward and my own fault for being such a pack rat. I do indeed need to reinvent myself, just change, grow, stop f'n living in the past... there's nothing there for me...

Gotta change... gotta do different shit, yall... But yeah once my movie's finished, I'll get onto other projects etc.... and it will... we're in that finishing zone with these things. Everything from here forward is just plug it in, organize it, that's all that's left... I'm gonna free myself of this soon enough.