Exciting times...

I've been applying and applying and applying for jobs left and right as usual. Only job that seems to be going anywhere is CBP.

If indeed I become a Customs Officer, I think it's by the graces of God. I believe in God. I pray to God. I think everybody should. But I'm not going to try to shove my thoughts down everyone's throat. If you are so inclined to live without faith, then that's your life.

But I don't believe we as a collective, and we're all together on this. All of us. White, black, asian, hispanic, we're all together under the umbrella of God. And his will. Whatever he wants, he'll get. Fuck humans.

I just don't know whether this is going to go up or down for me, but if I get in and I have the job and I'm making a good paycheck, and I get an apartment and all the things men dream of, I'll finally be able to relax and not feel anxious all day which is the norm for me. I just feel lost in life...

It's like, as a kid, I didn't know what was going to happen as I got up there in age. I didn't know. I just was going to school and that was everything. The only thing that seemed like it might be fun to try was fucking some girl at some point. Now I'm goddamn 28 years old and I haven't gotten fucking anywhere close to sticking my dick in a girl's body...

Hell it's even worse considering I'm a black dude. Ultimately the greatest joke you'll get when you get older as a black person is that you're a parasite in this society. Very fucking minority of the upper races wants and desires black genetics.

 But don't dwell on it. I implore black kids not to think about it too much. Nature finds a way. Spielberg was so fucking right about that. You can try to say blacks suck and are no good and should just fuck  off, but nature created black people and whatever nature wants nature will continue to get no matter what very powerful smart white men want or think.

And I think they know that. They fucking know it's not that blacks exist to be this shitty race of people who make life complicated for white people and asians etc. It's fucking nature at work. Creating a race of people designed to survive in harsh climates. And in fact, scientifically, people like me, mixed people, are the future of humanity.

I look at race from a scientific perspective honestly, not an aesthetic one. Problem is, that the social, economic, and financial outlook for being a black person is very complicated one. You have to have skill or get an ivy league degree as a black person to make it in this world. Or you're fucked.

Really, what the fuck ya gonna do against very super smart white guys out there. What? Shit, that's what ya gonna do. Shit...