How to not lose the CBP job

I don't want to go down and join the cbp and then oh after working there for a few months things get stupid and I have to quit or bail on it.

I will stick to my ticket no matter what happens. I swear to GOD.

This is it. Life is about that moment where you have to decide whether you're going to be successful or you're going to fucking accept failure. It's kinda the same thing a soldier goes through before he decides to pull the trigger or not. Am I going to go for blood and survive in this world or just fucking go nowhere...

I know who I am. As much as others want to tell me who I am. I grew up watching Rocky, Superman, Star Wars. All these things are about men who act on the side of GOOD or of GOD.

So whenever people try to make me feel bad about myself. I just know that it's not true. I was aaaaaaaaallways the kid who tried to be good instead of a shithead. So to get to adulthood and just be labeled as this black guy who's just shit in this world, is so weird to me. But that's the name of the game. In fact I don't think ANY black people are highly regarded in this world these days. So it's more because of that whole race issue than whatever my true personality is...

But you do for God and God will do for you... So that's what I'm hoping works things out for me. Is that I just still believe in the shit I was brought up on and it'll actually pan out, that when you actually be a good person, things will turn out good. Cuz like just a week ago my bike was stolen and all the parts for my e-bike were stolen. I think and I hope that the people who stole them are going to grow old and be poor and have nothing when they leave this world. VS me, who'll have plenty of money and a nice house, pool, boat, whatever I want.... Maybe indeed I will have a daughter and she'll be a sweet good looking girl or whatever... Because I tried my best to be a good person.

I don't know, but we'll see how the future unfolds. I just would hope that I get into the CBP and whoever's hunting me down gives me some time to get into the flow of the job and doesn't immediately start making things complicated.