discovery and future and shit

I kinda hate still being around in the world. I really kinda do, especially with this newfound strange and weird world where everyone knows way too much about each other's fucking daily lives yunno. Some people say it's good that we are knowing prettymuch everything about each other's lives, and in my opinion, we should indeed go back to the stone age and be blissfully unaware of what is going on in some fucking person's life in the middle of kansas. I mean I used to watch leo laporte on call for help, and of course morgan webb, and even the guy what's his face, the nerdy guy um... fucking chris perillo, love this guy. He's ME but white. But it's funny...

Now I can know EXACTLY what these guys are doing EVERY DAY. vs back in high school where I only knew they were on tv and not really concerned with their lives after that point.

Hmmm, very interesting. Is it worth it to have this much exposure to each other, me personally. I can't fathom being that fucking obsessed with stalking someone online. But I suppose it's very possible these days. In fact it has happened. Someone somewhere in the world was constantly harassing and stalking some girl or celeb through the web. Can't remember the girl's name or whatever... but yeah that's exactly the problem with the internet age is that we have the ability to constantly monitor each other every second of the day. And me personally I'm thinking about getting some ass, not thinking about or hoping to be fucking watching someone all day.

Even more pointedly is the over exposure of each other's bodies. I look at porn and it's like I think to myself, there's nothing particulalry special about this. A girl bends over and puts her ass in the air, simple animal instinct at work. It's not even like a fucking choice, girls HAVE TO put their ass out for the dick.

It's striking and quite a shock. I mean back at Delta, me complete shit for a human was able to make a gorgeous perfect 10 white chick contemplate for even a second giving me a chance. That's how paper thin the female sex drive is...

I suppose dick is a powerful drug.

And damn I mean I'm starting to get like fucking paranoid when I go to the ball park. It's like, I can't believe how fucked up people are. Why is it so hard to just leave a guy you see sitting around not starting any trouble alone... Why does this assfucker have to start jumping around in front of me and acting stupid. Can't he just like, chill, not do stupid shit today.

But no. He doesn't. He has to get up and act retarded in front of me. Like I want actually sit there and see your black monkey fucking jungle ass acting like an idiot in front of me... I didn't go through my childhood dealing with dipshits like you only to continue to deal with it as I become an old fucking man....

Shit's crazy. I mean I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I just basically went with the flow of life for all these years and now I got like this fucking monkey on my back of people I've never met before pushing me to go get a girl pregnant.

I guess it's because I'm a light skinned black person. We're good for the corporation I guess? It's certainly not because I'm intelligent or anything. I'm average as it gets. If I was actually sort of fucking monster of a intellectual, yeah it'd make sense that they'd want more of me in the gene pool, and in fact that's the ONLY thing that will save you if you're black. There are VERY VERY smart white, asian, and hispanic men and women in this world. And your black ass don't mean shit to them and their goals honestly...

I can see the way things are. I mean I never knew it. They damn well kept the truth about this world from us kids from the 90s. But yeah, the truth is that blacks are like yunno automatically considered shit unless they've got a brain in their head worth a damn.

That's the only thing. Urkel was more or less in hindsight a like fucking picture perfect example of a black person that white people can tolerate. Crusty monkey dumbass never opened a book in his life black guy, hell no.... Urkel?

And this is the rub. What do you think or say or feel about a black person who actually is a super intellect and eidetic memory like Urkel.

I've always thought about what my future would entail as a black kid with something of an intellect. What would the world think about a black guy who actually sat and fucking studied for hours and taught himself how to use his brain? What would the world think? Would it care?

What the fuck would the world hope or expect from blacks who are smart blacks, Urkels, Gumbles. I don't even know. I guess it's still a game to the white folk. Oh now we got niggers flying planes. Now we got niggers reading the news. Now we got niggers fucking writing computer code for us. We win...