Life outside of high school is a lot more stupid than I even would have begun to imagine. The thing that is most fucked up is the the way I'm noticing the KKK's prominence all over the world and media. It's like something I never really thought about much as a kid, not something I ever thought would be a problem or a big deal, but no, it's the biggest deal. Basically, they're still active, still powerful, still vehemently hate all blacks in this world. From the days I was a kid going to school to this very day as a grown man, I've been monitored by the KKK. Why? Dunno, but they've been keeping an eye on me for YEARS.
I guess it's because I'm a mulatto negro. Straight up jet black negro, they don't feel threatened by, but a guy like me, some sort of mixed up cocktail, they have to worry about a bit.
Life as an adult is bonkers beyond measure I must say. Life just doesn't make sense to me really. Why is it that there's this group of KKK dudes holding white people up above everyone when I can check out gay tube any day and see two white guys fucking each other like there's no tomorrow.
What the fuck am I supposed to think about that?
Yanno what, I'm not going to think about that. Life's too short and gay people mean nothing to me at all... really that's all I'm going to say. I'm just going to get older. My sister just turned fucking 30 years old today. I mean I never thought EVER that I'd be alive and my sister would be 30 but here I am and my sister's 30 and I'm fucking 28 and we're getting up there and shit... it's a fucking messs the aging process. It's like you don't know what you got till it's gone. I SOOOO miss being a kid. Teen years were a mess, can't really say I was fond of them, but being a kid was a blast!!! Just life was a joy every moment. Sucks that I have no choice but to leave that behind now and become a fucking old dude in this world...
Hopefully I'll be pounding my girl's ass and not even giving a damn about anyone else or all the shit going on in the world. That's what I want most personally, just to have some goddamn peaceful fucking time with my girlfriend. Don't talk to me about kids and fucking garbage etc. That I'll think about maybe when I reach 50, but now Virgin boy all I can say is I just want to finally get some ass!!!!!
I did everything this society asked of me and all I get is a hearty FUCK YOU after all is said and done. Ain't that a bitch...
Yeah I did it all. I lived the dream. I watched Michael Jordan dunk all day over fucking Stockton and Malone. I watched fucking home improvement. I watched fucking Dawson's Creek. I look back on my childhood and realize me as a black kid watched a shit load of shows and movies about white people's problems and complexities. Still doing that today. Sadly here today there really is a serious lack of black people on tv and in the movies and generally everywhere. The KKK ressoundingly won in that they fucking made it so that only white people will be all over the media. There's NOTHING on tv anymore about black people. We have the fucking thousandth sitcom on tv about a group of young hotshot white people trying to get laid with other white people. NOTHING about the lives of black people in America or Anywhere. I'd love to see a show about homosexual black people. What the fuck kind of life do those motherfuckers live...
Anyway If you wanted to know what I'm up to, I"m constatly modding GTA IV. It's a complicated bitch, you have to practically know how to write computer code to get the mods to work. Truth be told I'm not on the advanced level where I know how to create scripts and mods, but from what I've been doing lately to get my mods to work, I certainly am getting to understand the complexity of computer code. I can't even imagine to genius motherfuckers who make these games and what kind of fucking shit they studied at MIT or wherever to be able to create this stuff. It's waaaay above my head. I'm just lost trying to make sense of the complex physics involved with car handling data.
LOST I tell ya. But one good thing that came about is that I know how to keep the game running without crashing now. Basically just use game booster and close all the fucking background programs that were taking up system resources. I just got rid of all the background shit and the game is running without a hitch now. Ya live and learn when you do shit like this. I'm really focused on creating a totally different GTA experience than you can ordinarly find. I want to make it into a semi-matrix game. Huge matrix fan as a teen. So it's only appropriate that I'm now working on creating a matrix GTA game. It's pretty darn cool I have to say. It's tough to figure out the proper way to change the ped skins, etc. But Now I know how it's done properly and it all seems to be working great and smoothly. I mean really I got everybody in there. Robocop, Terminator, it's awesome to play the game and suddenly you're being chased down by Robocop and the Terminator. Nothing more cool than that shit.
We'll see how this all turns out. Really I put shit in there that Rockstar should have put in already Jets. I mean I love flying the jet around and generally just flying in the game. It's perfectly suited for flying. The visuals are beautiful. So why did Rockstar limit us to playing the game on foot and in cars and helicopters when it's a huge map and flying would actually benefit you. You'd travel much faster similar to SA. The thing about playing SA I can tell you from experience is that after you drive from one place to another for miles and miles for the thousandth time, you never want to do that again. And I certainly just got so fed up with the long drives in that game. What a beast of a game that was. And yunno they pulled that same shit again with GTA V although they made the map a little more distinctive this time so that you can't get too lost. It's a big world but becomes smaller the more you play the game and just get to know where everything is. Although I still don't know the streets not like GTA 3. To this day I memorized every fucking street in that game because they made that map perfect for game play. It's about creating a fucking videogame, not a real world simulator. That's the failing of these GTAs these day. I'm finding useless interiors and just places that have no purpose in the new GTA games. They wanted to show off how super smart their team of computer engineers are and create a massive huge fucking world, that you'll never have to use in the game. You'll always be basically doing roof top rumble or something stupid, not going to go hang out in some corner of the map whith a bunch of hill billy shit in it, but hey they put it in there. I guess somebody will like it.
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