Break time

I'm going on a week vacation from postemates and caviar...

Certainly not something people with a regular job can say of course.. I don't have to worry about rent and shit, still in that limbo where you're searching for a job to be able to afford such an existence.

I don't give two giant F's about how people EXPECT you to just go out and "get a job" like it's nothing. It can take a solid year to get employed if it's a certain type of job, and typically several months for normal bottom barrel jobs. The only thing I can hop on quick and do quickly is app gigs. So no, don't talk to me about how it's my fault I'm unemployed. It's a goddamn olympic feat to get a job anywhere out there in this corrupt society. Tripple nipple hard if you're black of course...

So tired as hell tonight. I do need a break from running around manhattan. It's bound to lead to a run in with the police. I don't have any ill will towards them. In fact, I was friends with a guy in TSA who was working on getting in with the police and I worked with cops every day at the airport. The cops are the ones who treat Me and other TSA like insignificant ants, but overall we were doing similar thankless work, and had a rapor with each other... There was a mutual respect.

They got to lose that attitude of holier than thou because of that badge and gun, and there'd be a lot less friction between police and people. I KNOW who cops are because I worked with them. When they put on that act of being captain america, I always roll my eyes... they're freakin people...

But what can I do. Power corrupts, does it not...

 So what was it that caused such a emo downturn yesterday. I don't want to dwell on it.... it's over. It's just like, shit... fuck... it's gone... that thing that I wanted to save, is in a flash, gone... That sucks. I guess since I'm so socially stunted, something like that means so much to me... If I got out more, yeah wouldn't have been the end of the universe...

Today was lucrative if draining... such long postemates. I think it's time to abandon postemates. For the second time they gave me an order for something from the depths of manhattan to deliver up to the top of harlem. I did it because legit I'd be sitting there waiting for an order instead, so I decided to take the pain and do it.. challenge myself or whatever. And it was exactly what I feared, it was long, terribly painful and up hill mostly...

One tiny pint of ice cream on a 3 mile bike ride up hill. THINK. ABOUT. THAT.

Fuck Postemates.

Not doing them no more... They're insane. That's not even a reasonable order... if it's a meal, dinner, and cost much and whatever... makes sense. You're delivering dinner to someone who's maybe not able to get out of bed or something. There's people who are immobile and can't go out... so app ordering is all they have... But no, this person was just lazy and didn't want to take the time go to the supermarket for icecream.

So it's what these people are all about, being lazy as balls and trying to get away with ordering shit from miles away and have some sucker deliver it to them... sad shit.

I think caviar works based on proximity. If you're near the more expensive restaraunts that's what they'll give you. like I was just near the shake shack in harlem and suddenly I got an order. So I'd have never gotten that order if I was down at 35th street in the bottom. Makes perfect sense that the orders you get are based on the proximity to the restaurant. They're not going to screw the workforce by making them travel freakin 5 miles down to go to a restaruant way down... so I learned my lesson. Got to stick close to the high class restaurants and hopefully the orders start flowing....

Don't know what to do right now. It's hard to not only get tossed in jail for a night, but lose stuff ya wanted to keep for eternity.... not easy to come to grips with that stuff. I was thinking yeah, you need some kind of time to heal and maybe even forget your pain some how... just let the mind erase it...

I'd like to just fucking erase a lot of the last couple of weeks, just get rid of it...