Returning the scooter

So down these days. Don't get it. I used to be quite enthusiastic about life in some sort of way. I just don't know what it is, guess I mourn for the time I've lost, truth be told. I don't really feel old yet, but certainly feel like my youth has been robbed away from me. I never truly had honest to God fun as a kid besides the weekends when there was no bull shit school and tv was awesome. It's awkward to be treated like I'm f'n 50 and been through everything and seen it all and lived a long life.

I ain't done shit yet... ain't done nothing... I may be legally an adult, but I'm a damn retarded child-like version due to forces beyond my control...

Yunno what I think. If you're young punk kid, and you're being told follow the law, do the right thing, stay in school, don't get pussy, don't do anything major or interesting, just be a mindless drone going through the daily schedule you're given.

DON'T.

Take chances, make mistakes. I followed the rules, now I sit here looking at a world that hates my black ass and I have to constantly feel scared of everyone and everything and have no experience with girls no life lived worth a damn.

All cuz I decided to be a good guy...

Not saying make a ruckus and start constant trouble and go on killing sprees. But don't be the system's bitch. Just don't. It's better to have lived, done things, experience life, than get older and don't have a scratch on you from doing things and getting out and living.

So my scooter I spent 165 dollars on is a pile of garbage. Will be returning it. Sad because it'd have helped a lot to just have something to go to the movies with real quick or whatever.... But safe to say this slow snail scooter can't manage the distance to the theater if it tried. It's a cheap piece of junk...

Thank goodness for return policies...

Gonna check out Toys R us today to see if I can get a ghostbusters toy for cheap. My caviar and postemates money finally dropped and I have enough to go on a spree at toys r us today if i want... They claim over there that they're going to mark the prices down even further to where it's gonna be too cheap... literally the bank owns the store now, that toys r us is gonna just become a totally different store or something at some point, so even if they mark it down to a penny they have to get rid of all the toys.... so yeah gonna be some good deals. I just hope the damn gb toys I saw in there are still there since they're not in the aisle that people generally always go to....

F'n still pissed about that guy stealing my bike... Did he take it thinking it was a free bike give away at the store or did he just feel like stealing it and making a profit selling it... obviously just an asshole looking to steal a bike of course. Black guy... black people stealing, sadly it's the thing that makes blacks consistently not the world's favorite form of human... A lot of things I can tell you about make even me not like black people much... Makes no sense right, I am freakin black. If I don't like black people, well where's the logic there... Hard to say.... just Damn son, black people are some f'd up people, all there really is to say on the matter... f'd up... like it's just tough to go a damn day without black-angst cropping up and whole bunch of animosity and crap going on... It's been interesting observing that one black guy who's the jackass and goes around instigating fights with everyone and making damn sure the kkk still has a reason to exist... always been interesting....

Not something I like to return my thoughts to in this blog, the complexity of the black experience. I just wish everyone was just not putting anyone down, everybody just acknowledging the strengths and weaknesses of all people. How is that so hard?

Well soon enough be rid of this scooter and watch some movies, and continue my healing that I'm trying to do. I've wrecked my muscles as I previously stated. They're needing days to repair and rebuild. Still immensely sore from biking and tearing the fibers down.... It sucks. I could barely move or walk after that long day of bike riding... My muscles haven't had to do that for months since I stopped making the static movie and have been laying down for hours editing, playing videogames, watching movies... so my muscles shrunk away only being strong enough for stair climbing and short walks, not miles of bike riding....

Sorta like what I've been saying, you got to get off your ass and do stuff or you're gonna just get weaker as a person, it's the basic truth...